Quote: (06-15-2015 01:08 AM)MMX2010 Wrote:
Quote: (06-14-2015 09:34 PM)Bear Hands Wrote:
Fat people are weak and disgusting, and their attempts to portray themselves as anything but weak and disgusting while advocating for obesity would be met with universal contempt in a sane world.
You don't have to if you don't want to, but could you detail some of the changes in thought-patterns that have emerged as a result of your weight loss?
Do you think about your childhood differently? Your parents differently? Women differently? Work differently?
I'm guessing that the change in mindset must be literally mind-blowing, but I'd appreciate knowing if I'm wrong in your case.
I can go on forever about the weight loss and I try not to because I do not want to sound like a narcissist and because the work is not finished. I do not talk about it to get pats on the back. I hope someone else who is going through what I have been through will see what I have said and they get motivated.
Thought Patterns:
My thought patterns mostly changed before I lost the weight.
Mindset is the first thing that has to change for any changes to stick. My dad's dad lived to 96 and dad's mom lived to 89, and she was healthy until a very sudden onset of cancer. My mom's parents were both smokers, though my grandfather quit in his 30s cold from a 3 pack a day habit. He gained a lot of weight after he quit smoking and became diabetic. Both of them lived to 83. My great uncle (older brother of my grandfather) followed the same health pattern but he's still alive at 90, though he's been almost immobile for about 4 years. My mom's mom had a sister who is turning 100 in August, and all her older sisters made it into their 90s. The one turning 100 is the one who did not have a smoking habit, and she still walks every day. Both my dad (never fat as far as I know) and my mom's dad had strokes within a year of each other that took a lot away from them. My grandfather lived for 8 years after that, stuck in his own mind because the part of his brain that controlled speech was damaged, and his right side was paralyzed. My dad still has a big blind spot in his vision and his memory is terrible at times. I am likely to live a long time barring accidents if my health is under control. I don't want to spend those later years with terrible memory and blind spots, or as a prisoner in my own body. Getting red pilled helped a lot too, because I could see the only people who truly care about fat people are the ones trying to help them stop being fat. The HAES crowd only cares about themselves and their short-term indulgence. None of those fat acceptance women are ever going to show affection or even acceptance to some thirsty fat guy, and most of them are too gross to tolerate. People who try to help fat people get healthy actually care that you live a more satisfying, more comfortable, longer life.
After the weight loss: My thoughts about food have not changed a whole lot, but the type and amount of food is much healthier. I gave up sugary food and drinks a long time ago. I don't crave carbohydrates and fatty meat much anymore. Now I crave avocados*, fish, chicken, turkey, and my juice cocktails. I still have issues with cheese, but those issues are easy to control by not buying a lot of cheese and buying hard cheeses that impart strong flavors with small amounts. I'm much better at controlling impulses. Life is just easier, and I do not mean life is easier because I weigh less. My motivation is a lot better because I do yoga in the morning and have some juice either for breakfast or lunch, and everything I do after that feels easy by comparison. I think I understand the concept of God's grace a lot better, because it only takes a little bit of inner strength to turn into enough strength to do whatever needs to be done. I still have moments when I see fast food advertising and I think about going to get whatever piece of lard they're trying to sell. In the moments I have given in after eating healthy, that food tasted like shit and made me feel sick, so I can easily remind myself that the impulses are old, obsolete programming that will cause me pain. The last time I had fast food was a sausage mcmuffin last year when I was on a 6 hour drive. I thought I did not have time to stop to eat somewhere healthier, but I ended up losing time to that sausage mcmuffin as it sat in my stomach like a sharp stone until I had to pullover because it gave me the runs.
Childhood/Parents:
I do not dwell on my own childhood too much. If I have children, I will only have children with a dedicated stay at home mother. My bad eating habits started in childhood because I was not with my parents enough. Expensive, health-conscious daycare did not exist where I grew up, so I was often with a lot of other kids in some older woman's house who fed the kids cheap crap and yelled at all of us to eat fast so she could get us back outside and out of her hair. When I was old enough to be left at home when I was not in school, I lived in an area without a lot of kids around, so I had no motivation to go outside instead of staying inside in front of a screen. Both my parents had careers, and dad got home later than mom. Mom bought plenty of processed crap because she could make the meal fast. Dad kept a garden, but homegrown vegetables can only offset Velveeta shells so much. Mom's career took off, while dad is about a decade older. He ended up retiring before I was a teenager because he saved his money and mom was making more anyway. After that, he was home all the time and took over the cooking. I ate much healthier after that, but I was already a fat kid with a sedentary lifestyle and a habit of wolfing down food ingrained into me because I did not want to be punished when I was 4. So after all that, I'm very insistent that any of my children have an involved mother around who will make them healthy food instead of whatever is convenient and who will make them go outside to play. I appreciate my dad a lot more because of what he did for me when he was home all the time. He still gives me vegetables from his garden. I wish I had listened to him when he tried to get me to lift when I was a teenager. I see my mom's career-oriented life and realize she makes herself miserable to maintain it, but I think it provides her the necessary level of drama all women seem to need. She over-mothers my younger brother now I think to compensate for all the mothering she was not able to do when he and I were very young and actually needed it. I said a few things about my brother in the forum lounge if anyone wants to know the results of a career woman deciding to focus on motherhood after her oldest son has already left the nest.
I do not say all that to shift the blame for my obesity on my parents. I had the power to turn that around from the time my dad retired, but I did not even start until I was 22 and 360+ pounds when I gave up sugary stuff. I gained something like 80 pounds in my first 2 years of college away from my parents because the bad habits were
mine, and my dad could not be there to make me eat healthy or moderately. I told that story to show why I did not have good habits for most of my life.
Women:
While I'm still fat, I have noticed a marked increase in random female attention. Now that I can get women paying attention to me, I realize how boring and awkward a lot of them are. Women are fun but the old pedestal has crumbled and turned to dust. Fat women alternate between seeming infatuated with me if no higher value man is around and hating me because I am demonstrably better than them at getting fit. Unluckily for them, thinner women pay attention to me now so the fatties are nearly invisible unless they want to talk about how to lose weight. Such an occurrence is as rare as an uncooked steak, and rarer still is such an occurrence that does devolve into excuses about why it's too hard.
Work:
Work is more than a job. Exercise is work. Juicing is work. Eating healthy is work. My job is not my work,
I am my work. If I ever figure out how to monetize myself, I will never have a job again.
That all sounds mundane to me, but if it blows someone's mind and makes them decide to get fit, it was worth typing.
*Avocados are a cheat code. They taste like they should make you fat but they're a super food and fantastic for making a filling salad. I sometimes just chop up and avocado with a side of fish or with some turkey burgers so I will eat a smaller portion of meat but feel satisfied.