[Que enspastic]

I saw this movie last night with low expectations. As long as it was a good tribute to the original and at least better than Jurassic Park 3 I would have been happy. Even this was too much to ask.

The special effects in this movie are crap. The dinosaurs look fake and not realistic at all , as though they hired video game designers to do the special effects rather than professionals. It was awful. Jurassic Park 22 years ago looked far better in terms of animatronics and CGI, even today it looks very good compared to movies being released now. How can it be worse now when they even have the exact blueprint for how it was originally done (by contrast the creators of the original largely made it up as they went along).

The genre is completely different. It's not a horror film or a thriller. It's a action flick that tries hard to be a comedy , with a vibe similar to Wolf of Wall Street. This movie isn't at all scary and even though more people die you have zero emotional investment in them. The velociraptors look like and act like a clowder of cats rather than cunning predators.

The acting is terrible. It's like they're reading lines of a sheet of paper in a school play rehearsal..
"How would it know to do that?"
"It remembered where they put it"
"What happened to the sibling ?"
"She ate it"

The script writer should be shot. It makes no sense and every 3 minutes is a WTF moment, the characters are actually all retarded. How do you get the job of script writer in Hollywood? Why didn't they get the original JP script writer to do this one ? The ending is terrible beyond belief and features a woman outrunning a fake looking T-Rex in high heels.

Such a shame. Do not see this movie

[Sourcecode]

Did we watch the same movie?

[Alpharius]

The fuck? This is the most red pill movie out this summer.

Chris Pratt runs around saving the day, spitting common sense while constantly putting the female lead and his out of shape, asshole of a boss in check.

Annoying ginger woman: "We need to save those two kids!"
Starlord: "I'll save the kids, you go evacuate the island."
Annoying ginger woman: "I am just as capable as you are!"
Starlord: "Bitch, you're wearing high heels in the jungle."

All the older teenager does is mack on girls. Dude kisses his girlfriend goodbye and immediately starts checking the menu available at the park.

The female lead goes from strong independent woman too focused on her career to even know her nephews ages to crying wreck who can't handle reality, finally emerging from her chrysalis to realise Pratt has been saving her ass all goddamn day.

There's even the hipster dude who spent hundreds on a "collectible t-shirt" and rocks the handlebar mustache, who vainly stays behind thinking it'll make some chick finally notice him. Expecting to get some play for his sacrifice, he instead finds himself rejected because "she has a boyfriend". He rationalises his sacrifice as being worthwhile because he got to hug-close her even though he didn't put his hand on her back. Shit literally had me laughing out loud.

Oh, don't forget this line that sums it up.
Pratt: "That's Blue, she's the beta."
Kid: "Then who's the alpha?"
Pratt: "You're lookin at him."

Not to mention it was filled with every Jurassic Park reference they could fit in.
The whole damn theme of the movie was how everyone wants newer, more exciting, and flashier technology no matter the cost.

[philosophical_recovery]

I don't get your point of view.

Spoilers:

In fact, they played well on a lot of male/female relations.

For example, when the kids meet Owen for the first time, they explain how much they want to be with him. (e.g. a strong father figure because they are operating with a pathetic replacement of a mother figure).
Actually, the whole movie seems to shame the redhead lead for being so cold to other people, and so programmed to be a scheduling, busybody careerwoman. She doesn't break into a motherly instinct until she sees a mother caring for their lost/hurt children, then it hits her right in the gut. The way they played her was as an awkward person totally unpracticed in nurturing. Owen even said something about her bringing a scheduled itinerary on the second date. The audience laughed out loud at her posturing when attempting to be a lead of herself, but then immediately scrambling to be behind and protected by Owen.

There are other things that I caught too, but those are the ones that immediately came to mind. It was surprisingly free of you-go-girlisms, which I was actually expecting. Instead, they made something promoting the growth of dysfunctional siblings (as most siblings are nowadays) addicted to their autistic and digital obsessions. Traditional heterosexual mother and father figures fighting to preserve a family unit. Evil government figures stepping in to save their own asses. Idiots succumbing to their bad decisions.

I found it extremely enjoyable.

[philosophical_recovery]

(06-14-2015 02:03 AM)Osiris Wrote:  

There's even the hipster dude who spent hundreds on a "collectible t-shirt" and rocks the handlebar mustache, who vainly stays behind thinking it'll make some chick finally notice him. Expecting to get some play for his sacrifice, he instead finds himself rejected because "she has a boyfriend". He rationalises his sacrifice as being worthwhile because he got to hug-close her even though he didn't put his hand on her back. Shit literally had me laughing out loud.

Actually I think his mistake was being too alpha.








That was a hilarious moment.

[la_mode]

I knew the original was extremely dumb, I remember making a comment about it in elementary school, other kids nearly cried.

No surprises that 20 years later it's equally impressively stupid. About par for the course when you invent a world where dinosaurs come back to life.

[NilNisiOptimum]

I found it to be enjoyable mind candy movie. I expected nothing of it, and thought it good fun.

Am I the only one who thought the T-Rex vs Indominus Rex fight to be Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant? And the raptor that joined the fight was like Randy Savage running down to ringside to save Hogan after you thought he was taken out on a stetcher? I'm pretty sure whoever put that scene together had been watching a lot of old WWF pay per views.

[Rutting Elephant]

^^ definitely qualifies as a spoiler there.

[Swooper]

It was a great neo-masculine movie. Chris Pratt was great in his role and the whole plot was fun. I enjoyed the addition of the underwater dinosaur. Not sure wtf OP is smokin.

[rpg]

The huge asshole military guy trying to get his hands on the raptors was great. Everybody knows a dork like that. He just needed a bottle of beer in his hand to make it complete.

[Maximummax]

Stopped watching Hollywood movies long time ago

[The Beast1]

If I recall correctly Jurassic Park 1 and 2's screenplays were written by Michael Crichton himself hence why they were so good.

The 3rd one and i'm assuming this release as well were not. The 3rd Jurassic Park in particular was terrible rehashing all of the previous movie tropes and ending with a deus ex machinama ending with the military swooping in to save the day.

Like most Hollywood movies, i'll wait for this one to be released to either HBO or TPB.

[Cattle Rustler]

^^Then why post on this thread?

[General Stalin]

I've yet to see it, but I've heard nothing but great things about it all around. I know original Jurassic Park's budget was $63 Million. This one was $150 Million and 22 years newer. From what I've seen in the trailers, its nigh impossible to honestly think the CGI effects are not as good as the original.

2/10 point elbows?

[Texas_Tryhard]

Totally on the same boat with OP. Just because a movie has a man who isn't an incompetent and a woman who is does not make it good. It was full of stupid shit like a Raptor becoming friends with a T-rex, a monster that kept creating powers as needed that happened to be immune to gunfire and a rocket launcher, bad acting and poor character development between the two kids, TERRIBLE acting by the female lead, and more that I won't go into for fear of spoilers. This movie was made for grade schoolers and has a lot of moments clearly designed to make them say "COOOL", but make no sense if any thought whatsoever is put into them. On top of that, horrible CGI (one example: there's a helicopter that looks like someone had just slapped it into the footage with no attempt at creating depth) and a blue filter placed over the whole movie (thankfully toned down from the original trailers but not removed) managed to make it less visually impressive than the latex animatronics of Jurassic Park, which actually have realistic lighting and look like they belong in the movie rather than standing out from it. Skip this cinematic feces and see something else.

[spokepoker]

I went into the movie to have fun, and I had fun watching it.
The only things that pulled me out of it was the raptor whisperer and gentleman's agreement between the dinosaurs in the end.
The rest of the movie was fun, just like I had when I first saw Jurassic Park when I was a kid.
Damnit, now I wish I had those toys again, so I could make them fight Aliens.

[Soothesayer]

I avoided this film simply because the main actor was Chris Pratt. He completely fucked up Guardians of the Galaxy with his wooden acting (and that's being too nice). I had no doubt he'd give the same lame performance here.

Even Jeff Goldblum's acting skill was far better in Lost World, and most guys I've talked to (a few actors themselves) agree that Goldblum called it in.

Why does Pratt even call himself an actor? The guy is as talentless as they come.

[Constitution45]

Good film, surprised they didn't have a transsexual dinosaur, or show the main white hetrosexual male as being a completely incompetent pussy or some sort of pedophile. With a fat Lindy West look a like fighting the unpolitically correct dinosaurs with her humourless sarcasm and love for diversity.

[Slim Shady]

The following link has been blowing up on social media. Feminists hate this movie because it is a "sexist mess". This makes me want to watch the film.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/20...-mess.html

"It’s about a woman’s “evolution” from an icy-cold, selfish corporate shill into a considerate wife and mother"

The funniest thing is that the feminist filmmaker Joss Whedon called out this movie based off just its trailer for being "70's sexist" and not feminist enough, and then the feminists turned on him too for not making Black Widow feminist enough in his Avengers film.

[The Beast1]

(06-14-2015 08:41 AM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  

^^Then why post on this thread?

I think this was directed at the poster above me, but i'll reply.

I like movies and I really enjoy the Jurassic Park series. I wouldn't mind all of these sequels and re-releases if the price of a ticket was in line with its actual value. 17$ for a movie ticket on a weekend is obscene.

I went to a theater on the outskirts of town where they do 1st run movies for super cheap. Like 8$ a ticket. I saw Anchorman 2 and ended up loving it. Why? Because of how cheap the ticket was.

When something is more expensive I expect to be wowed. At 17$ I better walk out expecting the best movie ever. Never really lives up to it.

At 8$ i'm more likely to enjoy it.

Like I said in my post, i'm looking forward to when it comes out on HBO.

[Ingocnito]

Well for being a shitty movie it just grossed the highest worldwide gross opening weekend of all time at $500m+.

[TheWastelander]

(06-14-2015 02:03 AM)Osiris Wrote:  

The fuck? This is the most red pill movie out this summer.

Chris Pratt runs around saving the day, spitting common sense while constantly putting the female lead and his out of shape, asshole of a boss in check.

Annoying ginger woman: "We need to save those two kids!"
Starlord: "I'll save the kids, you go evacuate the island."
Annoying ginger woman: "I am just as capable as you are!"
Starlord: "Bitch, you're wearing high heels in the jungle."

All the older teenager does is mack on girls. Dude kisses his girlfriend goodbye and immediately starts checking the menu available at the park.

The female lead goes from strong independent woman too focused on her career to even know her nephews ages to crying wreck who can't handle reality, finally emerging from her chrysalis to realise Pratt has been saving her ass all goddamn day.

There's even the hipster dude who spent hundreds on a "collectible t-shirt" and rocks the handlebar mustache, who vainly stays behind thinking it'll make some chick finally notice him. Expecting to get some play for his sacrifice, he instead finds himself rejected because "she has a boyfriend". He rationalises his sacrifice as being worthwhile because he got to hug-close her even though he didn't put his hand on her back. Shit literally had me laughing out loud.

Oh, don't forget this line that sums it up.
Pratt: "That's Blue, she's the beta."
Kid: "Then who's the alpha?"
Pratt: "You're lookin at him."

Not to mention it was filled with every Jurassic Park reference they could fit in.
The whole damn theme of the movie was how everyone wants newer, more exciting, and flashier technology no matter the cost.

And that alpha line made me crack up. Loved it.

As I was exiting the theater a couple of girls who were attending were immediately talking about how to land a guy like Chris Pratt. I wanted to tell them they needed to lose weight first, but it was further proof chicks dig masculine men.

As for all the people criticizing the movie for unrealistic elements: it's an unrealistic movie to begin with. No one would've ever allowed another park to be opened on the same island the first doomed park was on and creating dinosaurs is impossible in the first place.

[Rutting Elephant]

The "Navajo" line made a theater full of affluent Indonesian kids crack up. It was also my favorite Pratt delivery.

[Teedub]

(06-14-2015 11:13 AM)Slim Shady Wrote:  

The following link has been blowing up on social media. Feminists hate this movie because it is a "sexist mess". This makes me want to watch the film.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/20...-mess.html

"It’s about a woman’s “evolution” from an icy-cold, selfish corporate shill into a considerate wife and mother"

The funniest thing is that the feminist filmmaker Joss Whedon called out this movie based off just its trailer for being "70's sexist" and not feminist enough, and then the feminists turned on him too for not making Black Widow feminist enough in his Avengers film.

Jesus christ, go to the highest rated comments...he's being completely destroyed by everyone - men, women, first-time readers and long-time ones. People really are getting sick to death of these 'journalists' reviewing everything through some critical theory prism. Especially when it's a man complaining about a lack of feminism and talking about how "femininity is a social construct".

Quote:

As a woman, I can tell you, femininity is not a social construct. It's on us. And choosing "motherhood" is not shameful. Let us make our own choices.

He's being laughed at by pretty much everyone, well it's good clickbait for the site anyhow. Anyway, painting themselves as completely humourless killjoys is the main thing that's turning people off their ideas. Long may they continue to do so.

[TheWastelander]

And here's something that will even drive some users here crazy: Chris Pratt owns a lot of guns and is an avid hunter.

http://www.businessinsider.com/chris-pra...nal-2014-8

I knew this going into the movie and watched him on camera. You could tell he absolutely knew what he was doing in his gun-handling and shooting scenes.

I also enjoyed that they gave him a stainless steel lever-action guide gun in what appeared to be .45-70 (a big game hunting round) to use against the dinosaurs instead of an assault rifle in calibers more suited to killing small game and humans.