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The characteristics of a man
#1

The characteristics of a man

I wrote a post on this forum a while ago about the importance of man setting personal standards for himself when choosing to be with a woman. I put together a list of qualities that a man should look for in a woman and then one of the guys who read my post asked if I had a list of qualities that a man should have. So this post is my attempt to put such a list together, after much contemplation.

You know, I think most guys have some sense of what a man is; even if he can’t quite define it or put it into words. Some of us are old enough to remember Charles Bronson or Clint Eastwood movies, where a man is portrayed as someone who had ice running through his veins…a no-nonsense kind of guy who didn’t take shit from anybody. The problem with these characters is that they are not relatable to anything we see today from men, so emulating them would be kind of goofy, and maybe even obnoxious to the average person. But there is still much to learn from the essence of guys like Clint Eastwood. Here is a list of character qualities that make a man, according to my worldview.

1.First and foremost, a man needs to embrace himself as a man. I’m not big on the whole “celebrate yourself” theme that women buy into but in a sense, if you are a man, celebrate the fact that you are a man. Shit, women get to celebrate being fat, why not celebrate being a man. But seriously, a guy needs to accept the fact that he is a man and be proud of it. We are a part of a brotherhood that women will never understand and for as much as society will try to shit on men and blame us for the world’s evil, men have done awesome things that refuse to be silenced. We are the leaders on earth, not women. We need to embrace that role.

2.A man should seek wisdom and understanding. King Solomon wrote an entire collection of Hebrew poetry based upon wisdom and how it should be one of the chief aims of a man. Wisdom and understanding open the heart of a man to know things about life which remains shut to a man that scoffs at learning. I’m not suggesting that a guy ought to know everything but he ought to know how to live his life intelligently, and to be at peace.

3.Another very important quality that I could write so much on is a man’s ability to recognize and master his fear. By master I don’t mean to totally overcome it, because I don’t believe it is necessary to nor do I believe overcoming fear should be the goal. By mastering fear, I mean he recognizes the fears that he has and does business with those fears to minimize or deaden the impact those fears have upon him…especially with respect to making decisions. A man who recognizes his fears and takes action in spite of his fears, gains an incredible understanding of himself that other men will never know.

4.A quality that is very near and dear to me is humility. I have great respect for a man with humility. Humility isn’t “I’m a piece of shit” or “I’m not good enough.” Humility is a right counterbalance between confidence in yourself and your abilities, coupled with the recognition that as a human being you are flawed. Every man has limits and weaknesses. Every man has skills and strengths. When a man only ever focuses on his skills and strengths and minimizes his weaknesses and flaws, he becomes stunted in his growth as a person. I’m not saying that we need to be looking for our weaknesses or focus on what they are, because we don’t have to do that. Life has a way of bringing those issues to the surface for us, showing us what is lacking. It’s in those spots where we have a decision to make: ignore it or face it. And once a man comes to terms with those weaknesses, he doesn’t have to hide anymore from the fact that he has them. He can then live life with the knowledge that he isn’t perfect and grow to accept that. Guys that try too hard to prove themselves only prove that they are scared of who they are.

5.A man should look out for others. I know there are lots of people out there to be avoided but there are people out there who can benefit from my experience and wisdom. Over the years I have taken many a young guy under my wing to give advice or be a friend to, solely for the purpose of helping a guy out and passing on knowledge. Giving to others does two things: it reinforces my experiences as being important and provides validation to me that my life is important. I’m not just here for myself but I am here to serve others. Roosh could’ve kept all of his learning to himself but after seeing the need that men had with how to deal with women, he started this site. And obviously, we have all taken something from this site. That’s my point. A good man shares what he knows with others and isn’t selfish.
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#2

The characteristics of a man

Much more useful than " how to trim your eyebrows into an arch!"
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#3

The characteristics of a man

Great post.

These are all charateristics that I strive to emulate each and every day. We all should.

Welcome to the board jakester318.

+1
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#4

The characteristics of a man

Quote: (06-02-2015 08:00 AM)jakester318 Wrote:  

1.First and foremost, a man needs to embrace himself as a man. I’m not big on the whole “celebrate yourself” theme that women buy into but in a sense, if you are a man, celebrate the fact that you are a man. Shit, women get to celebrate being fat, why not celebrate being a man. But seriously, a guy needs to accept the fact that he is a man and be proud of it. We are a part of a brotherhood that women will never understand and for as much as society will try to shit on men and blame us for the world’s evil, men have done awesome things that refuse to be silenced. We are the leaders on earth, not women. We need to embrace that role.

Maybe this paragraph is being humble about man's shortcomings, but I know already that men are better than women and feel no need whatsoever to be an apologist about it.

Man's physical and intellectual superiority to woman is self evident, and any and all controversy surrounding that is a modern day farce that I reject wholly and summarily.
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#5

The characteristics of a man

Quote: (06-02-2015 09:47 AM)Hades Wrote:  

Maybe this paragraph is being humble about man's shortcomings, but I know already that men are better than women and feel no need whatsoever to be an apologist about it.

Man's physical and intellectual superiority to woman is self evident, and any and all controversy surrounding that is a modern day farce that I reject wholly and summarily.

That is true. It is not like we made it like this, it was decided long before we were born.

You have to work with what you have. If you are superior in different areas, it just means you should not hold back just to make some people feel better about themselves.

Deus vult!
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#6

The characteristics of a man

Fantastic post.
I think #4- humility is related to keeping an open mind that allows you to learn new things.
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#7

The characteristics of a man

Excellent post. Stemming off number 4, watching people using self deprecation as a defense mechanism is cringe worthy. I think most are guilty of doing it every now and then (I know I am ) but will call myself out on it, and try to prevent it from happening again. Avoiding self deprecation can help with your self confidence and places you in higher regard with the people you interact.
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#8

The characteristics of a man

Quote: (06-02-2015 11:34 AM)Chunnel Wrote:  

Excellent post. Stemming off number 4, watching people using self deprecation as a defense mechanism is cringe worthy. I think most are guilty of doing it every now and then (I know I am ) but will call myself out on it, and try to prevent it from happening again. Avoiding self deprecation can help with your self confidence and places you in higher regard with the people you interact.

I agree with most of this post, but I would add a caveat. Once you are a high achiever, other high achievers will warm to you more if you are self-deprecating. If you are a confident, successful, intelligent and talented man, it will show. You will rightly feel proud of yourself. But in the company of other talented high achievers, particularly if they are older with less to prove, deflecting some praise with charm and self-deprecation will only increase the esteem you are held in. I believe this is because people who have their shit dialed in, and the talent and track record that goes with it, are used to being the best in 99% of their dealings. If it is clear to them that you are a 1%er, but show the social awareness to be self-deprecating, you allow them to relax in your company. If you are truly kicking arse and taking names relative to your age/experience, people will notice, and your ability to be self-effacing (within reason, and always with eye contact and a smile (clear projection of confidence)) will only enhance the esteem in which you are held.

Just as it can be valuable to be spontaneously self-deprecating when you know you are coming across as one of life's winners. You aren't being weak at all, in fact you are tactically showing weakness that allows you to retain power in the frame, as you direct attention away from any actual shortcomings and allow the other person to laugh good natured-ly with you at an area that is actually a strength. For example, if you are tall and good looking, and successful to boot, it can be an advantage to describe yourself in an over the top, unflattering light. If someone tells you how intelligent and successful you are, you might offer that you were forced to be an unsufferable nerd thanks to your unsightly hunchback and inherent halitosis.

Basically to say that once you're on top, being self-deprecating can be incredibly powerful.
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#9

The characteristics of a man

Quote: (06-02-2015 11:34 AM)Chunnel Wrote:  

Excellent post. Stemming off number 4, watching people using self deprecation as a defense mechanism is cringe worthy. I think most are guilty of doing it every now and then (I know I am ) but will call myself out on it, and try to prevent it from happening again. Avoiding self deprecation can help with your self confidence and places you in higher regard with the people you interact.

I don't know what you mean about self depreciation as a defence mechanism, could you explain?

Do you mean men who just default to apology in the face of criticism?

Quote: (03-05-2016 02:42 PM)SudoRoot Wrote:  
Fuck this shit, I peace out.
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#10

The characteristics of a man

Quote: (06-02-2015 12:24 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  

Quote: (06-02-2015 11:34 AM)Chunnel Wrote:  

Excellent post. Stemming off number 4, watching people using self deprecation as a defense mechanism is cringe worthy. I think most are guilty of doing it every now and then (I know I am ) but will call myself out on it, and try to prevent it from happening again. Avoiding self deprecation can help with your self confidence and places you in higher regard with the people you interact.

I don't know what you mean about self depreciation as a defence mechanism, could you explain?

Do you mean men who just default to apology in the face of criticism?

Moreso using humor to hide behind your shortcomings to make yourself feel better about that shortcoming.

I feel a lot of Louis CK comedy represents this well. He makes fun of himself so much (granted it's his shtick), so people gravitate towards his comedy because there is some level of comfort in putting yourself down and keeping expectations lowered, thus making expectations easier to fulfill.

To a lesser extent it's like the funny fat kid that cracks all the fat jokes but won't put in the effort to lose the weight.


@H1N1

I agree with your points, which ties back into the importance of humility (a difficult social technique master).
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