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Friends who disappear after getting a GF
#1

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Everyone has likely experienced this once....your good friend gets a GF then voila...disappears off the face of the planet- to your shock and disgust

Would you bring this to his attention? Or simply ignore and move on?

Curious how people have or would address this.
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#2

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

A couple different dudes I grew up with ending up being like this. Needless to stay I almost never even talk to them anymore. Realize that guys who get really attached like this spend pretty much all of their free time watching movies with their girlfriend or going shopping together or whatever. Trust me when I say you really don't want to tag along for those activities. It's like being stuck on the set of a lame TV show like Friends or something.

The older you get, the harder it is to actually keep good friends around. The only practical option you have is to move along and spend more time working on yourself. We all end up being mercenaries to a certain degree.
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#3

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

I lost many good friends to this phenomenon. I used to get pissed because i came from the "bros before hoes" school but now I just feel bad for them. My advice:

- Go cold turkey on them. Meaning no contact unless they contact you. Most likely they will reach out when its convenient for them -- if the time works for you, then great, roll out with them. If not, be merciless in declining their offers. Lets be clear here: If they can't or won't hang out with you, then you're time is also valuable.

Remember that you are going to be meeting new and different women, while your boy is going to be playing house.
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#4

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-28-2011 06:26 PM)bigxxx Wrote:  

Everyone has likely experienced this once....your good friend gets a GF then voila...disappears off the face of the planet- to your shock and disgust

Would you bring this to his attention? Or simply ignore and move on?

Curious how people have or would address this.

My used-to-be best friend was always like this back in high school. When he was single he would hang with the boys at lunch, but when he got a gf he never showed his face at lunch, but everybody knew already where he was. He did this with 2 different girls, which barely made it to a 5 on the scale.
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#5

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

I know someone like this. He was actually the friend I had in mind when I first joined and made the thread about leaving the states for the first time. Homeboy gets so pussy whipped when he's with a girl. Every night and weekend is with her.
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#6

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Yeah, most guys do that. Even girls do that. I have 1 best friend which I've known since 6th grade. And he does it, I only know from him about once a month (sometimes less). Last time he called was just pissed off because his gf had gone to party w/o him.

Another best friend I had , which is a girl, we had an amazing friendship. Until she got a bf who couldn't stand (hated) me (happens with most female friends I get, I don't know why). He explicitly told her she couldn't hang out or go out with me, or he would leave her. Since then we're still friends, but not the same as we were before.

I really don't see why people do that. When I've had a gf I always party or spend time with my friends, regardless the gf likes it or not.

I think some people do that, because they're afraid to lose the other person. They give up everything they were, only to end up being dumped. It always happens.
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#7

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Men that do this, do it because the GF sees you as clear and present danger to her relationship with her new man. You see, women do not want anyone with more authority/power or even influence on her man than she does. By you being present, you take away power and control, which she will not go for. Therefore, the only thing left is for your friend to compromise time with his bro, so that he can spend time with his new girl.

BostonBMW said it best. Go cold turkey, move on with your life. If he ever calls to hang out (usually when his girls is not around), then you maybe have time MAYBE...or maybe you don't. Most of the time you wont...just like he did not.

Growing up, I had a best friend in NYC who hung with me trhough good and bad times....and we gamed women through rain, hail, or snow. I saw him go through many relationships with women, and he never put me aside.....that is until he got married at 32 years of age (he is my age), and I even went to his wedding. That was the last I ever heard from him....he even changed his number, and never gave it to me. Fuck him....his loss.

Not sure if it's because the bride found out I slept with one of her bridesmaids on her wedding night......I'm pretty sure she found out, and labeled me a threat to her marriage.

Mixx
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#8

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-29-2011 02:04 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

Men that do this, do it because the GF sees you as clear and present danger to her relationship with her new man. You see, women do not want anyone with more authority/power or even influence on her man than she does. By you being present, you take away power and control, which she will not go for. Therefore, the only thing left is for your friend to compromise time with his bro, so that he can spend time with his new girl.

BostonBMW said it best. Go cold turkey, move on with your life. If he ever calls to hang out (usually when his girls is not around), then you maybe have time MAYBE...or maybe you don't. Most of the time you wont...just like he did not.

Growing up, I had a best friend in NYC who hung with me trhough good and bad times....and we gamed women through rain, hail, or snow. I saw him go through many relationships with women, and he never put me aside.....that is until he got married at 32 years of age (he is my age), and I even went to his wedding. That was the last I ever heard from him....he even changed his number, and never gave it to me. Fuck him....his loss.

Not sure if it's because the bride found out I slept with one of her bridesmaids on her wedding night......I'm pretty sure she found out, and labeled me a threat to her marriage.

Mixx

Yeah, I see so many guys do that. Then they get divorced, and loose all their money. I don't really think putting friends aside is a good decision. After all, they were there before the gf appeared.
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#9

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

I have a buddy that's like that. He's been in two relationships in the past year of so. And each time, he vanishes. Then when they break up, he's like "wussup? When are we gonna kick it again?" This time though, if he breaks up I don't think I'm going to bother with him. I lose respect for any man that gets so whipped he cast his friends aside. I knew a guy that I had never known to be involved with a girl for over a decade. Then it finally happened and he got one. He ended up moving in with her. His girl lived right around the corner from me and that fool never even called me to grab a bite or anything even though we were practically neighbors. I wasn't super tight with him, but even his best friends he hid from them. This went on for a few years. Then he broke up with her and started trying to re-connect to all the old buddies he brushed aside. Someone had told me they found out what happened. His girl was really controlling and wanted him to devote his attention to her.

Really, that shit makes me sick. It's the most beta behavior I can imagine. It's totally understandable that you'll see your friend less. But when they vanish because they get whipped or the girl doesn't like them hanging with the boys that is fucked up. I dare some woman to tell me who I can and can't hang around. She can fuck off.
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#10

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

happened to my best buddy from college; kid is ridiculous. i helped him land a girl and she ended up taking over his life. really pathetic, to be honest.

Contributor at Return of Kings.  I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.

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#11

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

It is an interesting phenomenon. Given 100 nights, some men would be with their girl every one of them

B BMW: I was leaning towards your approach-makes most sense

Mixx: interesting take on the psychology behind this from the woman's side. I'm sure that is a factor.
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#12

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

that happened to me as well.One of my best friends,a guy who was my wingman in several dope events, ended up attached to an average girl,and now at age 24 he has a one year-old child with her.Now he is fat,boring,and spends his free time mostly shopping in family malls and going to the supermarket.He's a clown.

Chicks need to be on rotation like a Netflix queue
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#13

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

In high school, I was surrounded by a lot of alphas. Not everyone was, but analyzing my past experiences, I can now determine which guys were alphas and which were betas. In fact, one of the validations of game for me was noticing that the hot girls in high school almost always ended up with guys that treated them badly. One guy humiliatingly chewed this girl out in public so hard that she cried...she later went back to him. Later on, a fat chic had given the guy a note askng him if he liked her even though she KNEW he had a gf. It was then that I noticed that Mr.NiceGuy wasn't going to ever work. My eyes were slowly seeing the truth...

Anyway, I knew a guy who would be defined as borderline omega, that went into a worshipping slave-mode for just one girl that said "hello" to him. I hated it because it was like he threw his friends out the window just for an average girl. Nevertheless, his betaness repulsed chics for a 3-mile radius.

Juding from everyone's input here, I think this calls for some kind of general rule of thumb or maxim: Betas value pussy over friends; so, be careful about what kind of friendships you have with betas. Better yet, be careful about making friendships with ALL people.

Hello.
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#14

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Man..people should follow this old motto that has been said hundred times...Bros be4 Hoes!

Chicks need to be on rotation like a Netflix queue
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#15

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-29-2011 03:24 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

Really, that shit makes me sick. It's the most beta behavior I can imagine. It's totally understandable that you'll see your friend less. But when they vanish because they get whipped or the girl doesn't like them hanging with the boys that is fucked up. I dare some woman to tell me who I can and can't hang around. She can fuck off.

The more I read your posts Speakeasy, the more I respect your outlook in life as I feel the same way.

Shit, you can count on me not brushing any one of my homies off for a bitch that wants my nuts in a vise.

All women are depreciating assets (leeches) in financial terms, but your boys will always have your back....no matter what. I can always get new pussy, as a matter of fact, new pussy is what I always aim to have available...new friends are extremely hard to find.


Mixx
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#16

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-30-2011 10:18 AM)MiXX Wrote:  

new friends are extremely hard to find.

And it gets harder to find good friends the older you get! Male relationships are built on common interests and spending a lot of time together, which is why its easiest to make friends when young but difficult past the 30+ range.

Contributor at Return of Kings.  I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.

Be sure to check out the easiest mining program around, FreedomXMR.
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#17

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-29-2011 02:04 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

Not sure if it's because the bride found out I slept with one of her bridesmaids on her wedding night......I'm pretty sure she found out, and labeled me a threat to her marriage.

Mixx

I never got your input on this but would you bang your friend's wife/wifey/girlfriend if she came onto you?

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#18

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-30-2011 10:41 AM)Moma Wrote:  

I never got your input on this but would you bang your friend's wife/wifey/girlfriend if she came onto you?

Funny I just PM'd Luckystar about this exact situation a couple of days ago. I mentioned to Luckystar how I want to get my Pinay flag in Winnipeg, as he mentioned that Winnipeg has a very large Philippine community, and pinay girls are ready to fuck and are in abundance.

Turns out that a very pretty, actually beautiful is a more suitable word to use on this Pinay girl born and raised in Montreal, who moved to Miami Beach with her BF - right next to my condo.

This pinay girl is very sexual, and very friendly...any man would be crazy to not want to hit on her and try to seduce her to your bedroom.

She eventually introduced me to her BF, who became a VERY GOOD friend of mine.

Now, because he established such a solid friendship connection with me....I backed away from ever trying to hit on his girl....ever. Trust me, there were times they fought, and she came over to my apartment at 3:00am in her Victorias Secret see through nightgown!!! To sleep it off......fuuuckkk she looked delicious!

I never tried anything...out of respect for the friendship I have with him.

You see, a true player, never takes his boys pussy away from him...a true player has a steady supply of beautiful women available to him, and values friendship as pussy comes and goes at the drop of a hat.


So no, I would never hit or seduce any of my boys girls....even if they show up at my door in a sexy see through nightgown, and emotionally vulnerable - easily able to fuck them. I'd back-off, and respect my hommies. I knew that someday, Ill get my Pinay flag....and that day is about come soon!

MiXX.
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#19

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Been down this road, and it's exactly the same as what many of you have been saying, especially what Mixx said about control.

I can't even tell you how many friends I have like this, which makes me wonder if I was just friends with a bunch of relationship chumps?

Best friend gets a girl, she hates me, we don't hang out nearly as much for 2 years, and when we do... there she is raining on my parade. He may even read this, as I tried to get him into game, and I'm a little worried he's drifting back to the darkside...

Another good friend was going out all the damn time, gets a girlfriend 2 years ago, and I can count on my fingers how many times we've hung out since. At least his chick is cool though.

One of my old wing men/college buddies, same deal. Every time he'd get a girlfriend he'd vanish. Soon as I'd hear from him again, I'd know what was up... he was single again! I don't even bother to call this dude anymore.

Another good friend gets a girlfriend, seems cool at first, but... they get an apartment together and suddenly she dislikes me! We were in a band together too, and this was one of the underlying reasons for the end of that project.

The only person who has done this to me justifiably, was actually my brother. However, that's because this particular ex of his had some serious drug and alcohol issues and he didn't want the kind of madness I bring breaking her barely adequate defenses. Plus, I'd still see him. Sadly, after they broke up all her issues got the best of her and she died.


This problem is becoming as bad as cock-blocking, so the sooner we find a way to solve it, the better. You've really got to catch the issue early though, before it becomes routine and can't be fixed unless they break up.
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#20

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-30-2011 10:03 AM)Mr.GM Wrote:  

Man..people should follow this old motto that has been said hundred times...Bros be4 Hoes!
Not many guys follow this. Pussy is just to powerful for some guys
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#21

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Pinays are hot
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#22

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-30-2011 11:39 AM)CJ Wrote:  

The only person who has done this to me justifiably, was actually my brother. However, that's because this particular ex of his had some serious drug and alcohol issues and he didn't want the kind of madness I bring breaking her barely adequate defenses. Plus, I'd still see him. Sadly, after they broke up all her issues got the best of her and she died.

LOL!!!! I know it's a terrible thing to LOL at, but I was not expecting that in your post. I've dated an issue girl before, holllly shit was that crazy.

Quote:Quote:

This problem is becoming as bad as cock-blocking, so the sooner we find a way to solve it, the better. You've really got to catch the issue early though, before it becomes routine and can't be fixed unless they break up.

I've have some friends in relationships who will go out with me and wing with me, even if they aren't looking to get laid. We are friends and we enjoy each other's company, so it's always good.


The best line of logic you can use on your buddy's with girlfriends:

"Look man, I've hung out with you and your girlfriend before... why won't you hang out with me when I'm with the kind of girls I like?"

Contributor at Return of Kings.  I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.

Be sure to check out the easiest mining program around, FreedomXMR.
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#23

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

My brother was pretty tore up about her passing, even though they'd been broke up for over a year, and he was on to at least his 4th girl since, but I think what bothered him is at one point he believed he could save her. Once he realized she wasn't going to change he cut her loose, so for whatever reason he felt some guilt.

As for this:

Quote:Quote:

The best line of logic you can use on your buddy's with girlfriends:

TBQH, I really don't give a shit anymore, because I've got better things to do. I'm gonna be the one kid's best man in his upcoming wedding, and would've been the other's had he not broke off his engagement, but game has really opened my eyes as to what things I should bother devoting my time and energy too. I can only hope to show friends what they're missing out on, when they do decide to actually go out. Plus I've never had trouble making friends, although I'm really of the mindset I should be going out solo more.
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#24

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-30-2011 10:18 AM)MiXX Wrote:  

new pussy is what I always aim to have available...new friends are extremely hard to find.

That's some timeless wisdom right there.
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#25

Friends who disappear after getting a GF

Quote: (05-31-2011 11:52 AM)CJ Wrote:  

My brother was pretty tore up about her passing, even though they'd been broke up for over a year, and he was on to at least his 4th girl since, but I think what bothered him is at one point he believed he could save her. Once he realized she wasn't going to change he cut her loose, so for whatever reason he felt some guilt.

As for this:

Quote:Quote:

The best line of logic you can use on your buddy's with girlfriends:

TBQH, I really don't give a shit anymore, because I've got better things to do. I'm gonna be the one kid's best man in his upcoming wedding, and would've been the other's had he not broke off his engagement, but game has really opened my eyes as to what things I should bother devoting my time and energy too. I can only hope to show friends what they're missing out on, when they do decide to actually go out. Plus I've never had trouble making friends, although I'm really of the mindset I should be going out solo more.

Since my trip down south, I've gone out solo quite a few times and I've been able to get a deal each time. The ultimate soldier is the one who is able to go out.

One of my wings is quite an established PUA. He gets SNL's and loves the dot (has no complaints). He puts in consistent work and he's a tactician when it comes to going for the close.

However, he CANNOT go out solo. He feels very uncomfortable about it and by all means will not venture out on his own.

He does fine but I think it completes your flute if you are able to go out solo.

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