[GreenHills]

So tonight was interesting. I went solo to my local bar, where they always have music going on.

There was this band from Colorado. I'm in California. There were about 40 people who were friends of the band. I was in a really good mood and I approached this 3 set, which I vibed well with. This whole crew seemed cliquish - young hipsters who used to live in Colorado in their party years. They're a very uniform group - everyone is white and probably late 20s.

Later in the evening I approach one of the three girls, which was giving me IOIs earlier. She was somewhat standoffish, but she was touching me, so I assumed she was the most open. However, when I said something to her, she completely ignores me - like I don't exist. It was noisy too, but it was obvious that I was saying something. This fucks up my inner game.

How do you guys deal with blowouts like this? Girls that act like you're nobody. I don't handle it well. What's your inner attitude about it?

[Sensei Creation]

When your taking your first steps in game and/or your inner frame isnt tight yet , harsh blowouts can be intimidating and if your not careful that will show in the next approach that you do .

There's only one solution though : Keep approaching .

My inner frame towards harsh blowouts is this :

If the girl doesn't even have the common decency to at least acknowledge the fact that I'm trying to initiate a conversation with her is that due to my game or is it due to her lack of social apteness ?

Ultimately it's only a reflection of her insecurity/ lack of social skills/ overall bitcheness

I never loss my cool , I say " have a nice day/evening " with a smile , and then I move on to a girl who's more receptive to me .

If your getting blowouts more often than usual , you need to stop approaching 5s and 6s and start approaching more 7s 8s and 9s .

[Noir]

Calibrate, if it's loud, take her outside or dance.

Put yourself in her shoes, 'why is this guy trying to talk in such a loud place'?

Calibrate, escalate, dominate.

[BlurredSevens]

(05-15-2015 05:37 AM)Noir Wrote:  

Put yourself in her shoes,

Exactly!

Show your *intent* with girls. You know that you find her attractive, but she doesn't know it, and she doesn't know what you want from her.

Think of a time where a salesman approached you: maybe in the mall, airport, or even a petitioner approached you on the street asking you to sign something.

What happens every time? Your defenses go up, because you don't know what this person wants from you. So your job is to be more forward and to reduce that suspicion by communicating your attraction for her.

-----

As far as inner game goes....how do I deal with blowouts? Well, it's not easy. I have tried everything, but usually trying to look at things as a learning experience is a good way to handle it.

Think of it this way: 99% of guys at that show didn't approach a girl they were attracted to. But you did. That absolutely counts for something. It means you are putting yourself out there, it means you are going after what YOU want, and it means that you are putting yourself in a position for success.

With each attempt you will get better and you will learn something.

If you hadn't approached that group, you'd be on here asking us "how do I find the courage to approach girls?" which is much harder to address. So, in my book, you're already doing well. But failure is always going to be a part of success.

[civpro]

Do you already have a regular? If you do then all of a sudden some random bitch blowing you off doesn't seem to matter anymore.

[Saladin]

1. Glean what lessons can from it(i.e were you seeking a reaction, were you too quiet, etc. Sometimes it can be just that girl isn't interested and you can't do anything. Its variance. But you need to learn what you can from each experience).

2. Reframe it as a positive. Blowouts make you emotionally stronger. Sometimes they can be funny as fuck too. Remember you need to derive your fulfillment and good emotions from within yourself. Each blowout reminds you that you can't let others opinion dictate your self worth.

3. Forget it. Let it go. At this point I barely remember blowouts. I'll remember bad nights where I got blown out a lot. But individual ones? Barely even registers.

[VincentVinturi]

To this day I still routinely get blown out.

And harsh blowouts like the one you describe above still rattle me.

That kind of rude behavior makes me want to slap a bitch.

But the difference from the old me is that I immediately recover from these situations.

I've had nights where nothing is going my way and women are giving me all sorts of nasty reactions, but I still wind up getting laid.

So as soon as things don't go your way, recover.

It's fine to feel the anger and humiliation that results from a woman acting as if you don't exist.

But you can choose what you're going to do in the next moment.

As soon you get a harsh blowout, let yourself feel the emotions, recover as best you can, and move on.

You might still be buzzing from the sting of the last blowout but you should still go talk to the next girl.

Quick anecdote: I sang opera in college, it was my major.

Every Friday we had performance labs where we had to go on stage in front of the entire music department students and faculty and perform.

I would get so nervous it made me ill.

One time I sang a song in German and I forgot the words so I made up some German sounding gibberish on the spot.

Which is pretty hilarious in retrospect haha.

Anyway, it was a trainwreck, in front of *Everybody*.

But there I was again in 2 weeks singing some shit in Russian, which went a lot better.

I asked my singing teacher in a lesson later on whether the nervousness ever abates.

And he said, not really, you just learn to deal with it better.

So it is with game.

[civpro]

(05-15-2015 01:53 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

To this day I still routinely get blown out.

And harsh blowouts like the one you describe above still rattle me.

That kind of rude behavior makes me want to slap a bitch.

But the difference from the old me is that I immediately recover from these situations.

I've had nights where nothing is going my way and women are giving me all sorts of nasty reactions, but I still wind up getting laid.

So as soon as things don't go your way, recover.

It's fine to feel the anger and humiliation that results from a woman acting as if you don't exist.

But you can choose what you're going to do in the next moment.

As soon you get a harsh blowout, let yourself feel the emotions, recover as best you can, and move on.

You might still be buzzing from the sting of the last blowout but you should still go talk to the next girl.

Quick anecdote: I sang opera in college, it was my major.

Every Friday we had performance labs where we had to go on stage in front of the entire music department students and faculty and perform.

I would get so nervous it made me ill.

One time I sang a song in German and I forgot the words so I made up some German sounding gibberish on the spot.

Which is pretty hilarious in retrospect haha.

Anyway, it was a trainwreck, in front of *Everybody*.

But there I was again in 2 weeks singing some shit in Russian, which went a lot better.

I asked my singing teacher in a lesson later on whether the nervousness ever abates.

And he said, not really, you just learn to deal with it better.

So it is with game.

Why do you write like this? Every sentence its own line.

[Lochte]

Where in California are you?

And like others have said, keep approaching. I get ignored a ton, dont act bothered, just smile, laugh and keep going