First, I've been reading this forum on and off for quite a while. I appreciate the contributions that a lot of members here make regularly. They've helped me out already and I know they consume time and energy.
There's a strong positive correlation between my approach anxiety and the time elapsed from when I notice a hot girl. If I haven't approached a girl quickly I get hung up on what to say, I catch myself trying to play out the entire interaction in my head, and if I get to a dead end I get psyched out. Mind you I'm a bartender and am pretty solid conversationalist
If I look up and a girl has sat near me on the subway platform bench I can usually spit some random observational opener (subway ads, shopping bags shes carrying, slow trains, etc) relatively easy.
If I notice a thoroughbred with long legs walking towards me from a block away I almost always puss out by the time we cross paths, unless there is a serious observational cue that jumps out at me and gives me something to easily play off of. Otherwise, the anticipation of the interaction gets in my head. Given that I'm tall with red hair and pretty athletic looking I assume she's noticed me. She knows that normally every dude in a 50yd radius has noticed her.
It helps a bit if I put myself in the mindset of as soon as I see a bad bitch I'm going up to her like im a loaded gun just waiting for a target. Something about putting all my cards on the table fires me up - I'm a man, you're a female, and I'm coming after that ass. My body language gets a lot better. I hold strong eye contact, throw on a smirk like "right now i'm thinking about what it would be like fucking you" (this being said, I have to be REALLY feeling myself, or moderately liquored up, to stop a bad one mid-sidewalk after spotting her from a ways away).
I basically know one true natural alpha type who does this because he's hardwired that way, no thinking involved. My problem is I have to CONSCIOUSLY put myself in this mindset. Like if you have terrible posture and you start sitting up straight while your eating dinner. Two minutes later you realize your slouched over, propped up on your elbows shoveling food the 3 inches from plate to mouth. If I have anything besides gaming on my mind on a given day, my focus drifts in and out.
I suppose it's indicative of some mindset rewiring that still needs to occur, and sticking with it that will get better with time, but I'm wondering if/how others have gone about dealing with it, internalizing a perpetual sort of sexual predatory mindset.
There's a strong positive correlation between my approach anxiety and the time elapsed from when I notice a hot girl. If I haven't approached a girl quickly I get hung up on what to say, I catch myself trying to play out the entire interaction in my head, and if I get to a dead end I get psyched out. Mind you I'm a bartender and am pretty solid conversationalist
If I look up and a girl has sat near me on the subway platform bench I can usually spit some random observational opener (subway ads, shopping bags shes carrying, slow trains, etc) relatively easy.
If I notice a thoroughbred with long legs walking towards me from a block away I almost always puss out by the time we cross paths, unless there is a serious observational cue that jumps out at me and gives me something to easily play off of. Otherwise, the anticipation of the interaction gets in my head. Given that I'm tall with red hair and pretty athletic looking I assume she's noticed me. She knows that normally every dude in a 50yd radius has noticed her.
It helps a bit if I put myself in the mindset of as soon as I see a bad bitch I'm going up to her like im a loaded gun just waiting for a target. Something about putting all my cards on the table fires me up - I'm a man, you're a female, and I'm coming after that ass. My body language gets a lot better. I hold strong eye contact, throw on a smirk like "right now i'm thinking about what it would be like fucking you" (this being said, I have to be REALLY feeling myself, or moderately liquored up, to stop a bad one mid-sidewalk after spotting her from a ways away).
I basically know one true natural alpha type who does this because he's hardwired that way, no thinking involved. My problem is I have to CONSCIOUSLY put myself in this mindset. Like if you have terrible posture and you start sitting up straight while your eating dinner. Two minutes later you realize your slouched over, propped up on your elbows shoveling food the 3 inches from plate to mouth. If I have anything besides gaming on my mind on a given day, my focus drifts in and out.
I suppose it's indicative of some mindset rewiring that still needs to occur, and sticking with it that will get better with time, but I'm wondering if/how others have gone about dealing with it, internalizing a perpetual sort of sexual predatory mindset.