Pretty new to the game but one thing I've noticed about myself is that there is strong correlation between my approach anxiety and the time elapsed from when I notice a girl I like. I become much more reluctant. When I have time to think about it I get caught up on trying to come up with something clever to say. I catch myself trying to play out the entire interaction in my head, and when I reach a dead end in this imaginary conversation it psyches me out.
If I look up and notice a girl has sat down by me on the subway platform bench I can usually just spitfire a random observational opener about trains being slow, ad posters on the wall, a something about brands of the shopping bags shes carrying, whatever. If I spot a long legged thoroughbred walking towards me from a block away something about the mutual anticipation of it throws me off. I know she's probably noticed me (i'm 6'5 and athletic looking with red hair) and she is used to every guy in a 50yd radius noticing her.
In these situations I always puss out (though lately if I know I'm not going to open I've started blatantly staring at boobs/legs/hips and never making eye contact. For some reason I feel like less of a pussy than when I make eye contact and look away), unless some observational cue really jumps right out at me, like she's wearing a t-shirt of a restaurant from back home, for example. Otherwise I become outcome dependent. Stopping a girl on the street is a blatant pickup attempt and takes balls to do when you're in public.
If I consciously put myself in a mindset like: as soon as I see a bad bitch I'm going to approach, it helps a bit. Something about putting all my cards on the table helps. You're a female, I'm a man and I'm coming for that ass. It gets me fired up and I notice that my body language better ie more sexually purposeful. I have an easier time locking eye contact, throwing on a sly smile while giving her a slow once-over like "I'm thinking about what you look like naked."
My problem is that I have to be CONSCIOUSLY thinking about this for it to happen. It's like if you have terrible posture and you start sitting up straight at the the dinner table - a minute and a half later you realize that your slouched over shoveling cereal the 3
If I look up and notice a girl has sat down by me on the subway platform bench I can usually just spitfire a random observational opener about trains being slow, ad posters on the wall, a something about brands of the shopping bags shes carrying, whatever. If I spot a long legged thoroughbred walking towards me from a block away something about the mutual anticipation of it throws me off. I know she's probably noticed me (i'm 6'5 and athletic looking with red hair) and she is used to every guy in a 50yd radius noticing her.
In these situations I always puss out (though lately if I know I'm not going to open I've started blatantly staring at boobs/legs/hips and never making eye contact. For some reason I feel like less of a pussy than when I make eye contact and look away), unless some observational cue really jumps right out at me, like she's wearing a t-shirt of a restaurant from back home, for example. Otherwise I become outcome dependent. Stopping a girl on the street is a blatant pickup attempt and takes balls to do when you're in public.
If I consciously put myself in a mindset like: as soon as I see a bad bitch I'm going to approach, it helps a bit. Something about putting all my cards on the table helps. You're a female, I'm a man and I'm coming for that ass. It gets me fired up and I notice that my body language better ie more sexually purposeful. I have an easier time locking eye contact, throwing on a sly smile while giving her a slow once-over like "I'm thinking about what you look like naked."
My problem is that I have to be CONSCIOUSLY thinking about this for it to happen. It's like if you have terrible posture and you start sitting up straight at the the dinner table - a minute and a half later you realize that your slouched over shoveling cereal the 3