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AFC in massive rut
#1

AFC in massive rut

Hi guys,

I'm a relative newbie to the forum and just wanted to share my story and basically ask for some help. I am 26, and have lived in the UK all my life, in London. In general, I have done ok with girls in the past. My best days were probably between 18-23 or so. Over the past two years I have had one girlfriend for a year, and two other shorter term girlfriends lasting for 3 months each roughly.

Anyway, Ive never really had great game, I suppose I have relied on natural confidence that I seem to somewhat have lost through my twenties, becoming more sheepish and reserved when it comes to the ladies. I am at a stage now where I feel like I have completely lost my mojo and it does depress me. I see other guys seemingly going out on dates, having success, and making something out of it, but right now I can't seem to get in gear. I had some luck over christmas, with one lay and a short term fling with another girl lasting for a few months.

Fast forward to current time however, and I just feel straight frustrated. No tinder girls, no happn girls although I am getting some matches on happn. I think of myself as a fairly good looking guy, but honestly, I feel like I have lost my sense of adventure and risk taking, and fun when it comes to hooking up with girls. I feel like my mojo has really disappeared.

I have come for advice in terms of where to start. It would be great to have some suggestions for getting out of this rut, and more importantly, actually going from more AFC status to actually get good at game. I feel like I am really wasting my twenties not maximizing my opportunities with women in some respects. I suppose I have had a number of relationships and hookups but its when I am single I just don't enjoy the process. I feel depressed and waiting for something to happen when it comes to dating.

I see myself as a normal guy, relatively good looking, but just berefit of confidence and motivation. I have been reading about nofap a lot and have had some success in the past so thinking about starting a nofap again to gain some more motivation. But it would be great to get some advice on where to go from this low base level.

One other problem I have I suppose is that I have been growing tired in many respects of the drinking scene and the night life scene BUT thats where I have gotten my luck in the past. So I have the duel problem of trying to make a lifestyle transistion to a more healthy, day activity led sort of one, but that then means I need to start to base my game on more day time approaches which I am not used to as have previously used alcohol to rely on having a bit more confidence and the blur of a night out for things to sort of happen.

Anyway, I dont want to go on too long but any advice would be appreciated. Now the weather in the UK is getting better, I was also thinking about maybe doing a 100 woman approach thing, but hell, in the UK its always seemed difficult. Monday to Friday, most chicks I see are commuting back and forth to work, or getting lunch on the street at midday. That perhaps leaves the weekend for more casual encounters, but again, I wouldn't know where to start.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to reading your advice if you have any inputs you think might help.
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#2

AFC in massive rut

Hey man, welcome to the forum.
Sounds like you feel like you've lost your steam with women. Only thing I can really pick up is your attitude on day game makes it seem like you are a little bit nervous at the thought of seducing a stranger while sober during the day. Work on that. Take baby steps. Once you realize that approaching a seemingly "busy" girl on the street is no big deal, I am sure you will get that mojo back.
If I were only banging girls from the bar with the occasional stale girl in a social circle, I would be in a rut too.

Looks like you already know whats up and are headed on the right path. Keep on trucking brother.

Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
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#3

AFC in massive rut

Quote: (04-19-2015 12:18 AM)The_e_man Wrote:  

Hey man, welcome to the forum.
Sounds like you feel like you've lost your steam with women. Only thing I can really pick up is your attitude on day game makes it seem like you are a little bit nervous at the thought of seducing a stranger while sober during the day. Work on that. Take baby steps. Once you realize that approaching a seemingly "busy" girl on the street is no big deal, I am sure you will get that mojo back.
If I were only banging girls from the bar with the occasional stale girl in a social circle, I would be in a rut too.

Looks like you already know whats up and are headed on the right path. Keep on trucking brother.

That's a solid advice, and regarding approaching women just do it mate I literally mean just do it!. I'm not new to game, but I'm not a good gamer so I started my 100 approach cycle as I started the RV program after reading BANG. I have my own thread going in which I cover my approaches both for me to analyse later on and to get feedback from the big boys down here. I have learnt a little bit so far, but the most thing I've learned until now is that you approach like it is an involuntary action. You see that cute girl standing next to you, just open her up even if the chat goes stale and you're left with an awkward moment, so what? you'll get better and better and you'll see progress. Keep going strong mate you're in for an awesome ride [Image: banana.gif]
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#4

AFC in massive rut

Thanks man, its true. I need to get back that sense of fun and fearlessness that comes with approaching girls in the day. It's frustrating walking around and seeing all these hotties and you feel like you can't do anything.

I'm not sure I've really approached many girls sober before in my life, so I'm sure it would be worth doing as an experiment and to build confidence. I guess true game comes when you can go up to a girl anywhere and speak with her, as opposed to relying to being a kind of drunkard on a night out waiting for something to happen. I need to get over that initial fear of rejection and go from there.
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#5

AFC in massive rut

Geekzor - thanks that's very true. After you have approached enough girls it must get a lt easier I am sure. I will probably pick a weekend day and have a stroll around town and have a target of 10 approaches.
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#6

AFC in massive rut

Quote: (04-19-2015 03:41 PM)Georges89 Wrote:  

Thanks man, its true. I need to get back that sense of fun and fearlessness that comes with approaching girls in the day. It's frustrating walking around and seeing all these hotties and you feel like you can't do anything.

I'm not sure I've really approached many girls sober before in my life, so I'm sure it would be worth doing as an experiment and to build confidence. I guess true game comes when you can go up to a girl anywhere and speak with her, as opposed to relying to being a kind of drunkard on a night out waiting for something to happen. I need to get over that initial fear of rejection and go from there.

Day-game is day-game. If a few drinks give you a boost to approach then so be it. I usually approach after i've had a few drinks and this is usually day-time. Doing approaches cold-turkey where I'm located is not that easy and unfortunately the ratio's tend not to be in my favor.IMHO the greatest help has been good workouts right before an evening of day-gaming. If I can get a temporary pump after a workout and then put on a nice tight-fitting shirt I feel a boost in confidence and my approach anxiety decreases a bit.
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