[kingq]

So spring break is coming up at my uni. I will be busy working most of the break however I do have my eye on this girl in class. Before break starts I want to ask her out. I've spoken with her once before and she was very responsive when I was speaking to her (This was a week ago). I know we have a test after spring break but I don't want to use the hey let's study game unless someone can advise me on how to escalate it from just studying and prevent it from being platonic. I think I'm a pretty good looking guy 6'1 190lbs athletic build, light brown eyes, dark hair and a nice tan. So more than likely I will be seen as a desirable object in her eyes. But it is up to me to lead the interaction to that level. So what do you guys suggest?

[Alche]

Go for it, you have been blessed with good looks to get any girl.

Or you can go back to jerking off. Whichever gives you the most pleasure.

[kingq]

(03-14-2015 12:08 AM)Alche Wrote:  

Go for it, you have been blessed with good looks to get any girl.

Or you can go back to jerking off. Whichever gives you the most pleasure.

Lol @ the troll attempt. Nice try.

I think you're missing the point; Of course I can go for it. I can go and do anything I want too. I can cross the street without looking if I wanted to yet I may get hit by a car so I don't. I plan to look out for oncoming cars and therefore making the safest approach.

Similarly with this situation, I can ask her to study for our next exam which is a safe way to hangout but sometimes saying you want to study ends up being studying and no escalating done leaving me in a worse position than starting.

Have you been in a similar situation?

[eradicator]

this doesn't sound too difficult. ask her about her plans during spring break. if she is in town tell her you want to meet up. if she is out of town, tell her you want to meet up when she gets back from spring break. Don't make this harder than it has to be.

[kingq]

Man the hard part for me is gonna be to do it confidently or not come off as awkward. I guess I need more help on smooth transitions. I've only spoken with her once and it was brief maybe like 2 mins but like I said she was very open to talking with me.
I can go up to her after class and strike a conversation but she might be headed somewhere so I won't be able to talk for long all but I'll just keep the talking brief again and ask if she wants to hangout over break or something??

[The_CEO]

Before she leaves... hey, give me your number, let's hang out over the break.
Pull out your phone and enter her #.

Read "Bang", "Day Bang" - you will be fine.

Why am I giving Channing Tatum advice

Report back and let us know how it goes

[kingq]

Lol maybe if my jawline was a bit more defined and my forehead stuck out a bit more

But okay I like this one. I just like to have an idea set in mind to work with.

Ask if she's doing anything fun over break. Tell her my friends and I are planning on going to something fun (May just make this up such for the sake of it) and then hey you should come it'll be fun. She'll obviously be so googly eyed for me that she'll say yes lol

[KsockZ]

you're over thinking it. just ask her out over break. if she's out of town, set it up for when she gets back.

avoid the "let's study game", make it clear what your intentions are

[kingq]

So be more direct rather than indirect? How would you do that without scaring the cat? We are in class together and frankly I don't really give a shit if she feels awkward if I find her hot but I would like to move forward with her than without her.

[Mofasa]

I would avoid the let's study game. Girls are very good at reading people/intentions so be direct and clear. Set up a party or get together with some of your friends over spring break. Either at your house or a house you're familiar with. Somewhere you have social value and know all the people there. After class tell this chick about your "plans" for spring break i.e. "hey my buddy is having some people over Saturday night you and a friend should cruise through. Give me your number and I'll shoot you the details." Put your phone in her hands w/o hesitation. She will put her number in. It's clear and direct but takes the pressure off of asking her on a date. Keep it social and you can show (night of) how much fun you are to be around. From there we can discuss further how to work the chick night of. Good luck bud keep us updated

[godofwar]

OP, you should just ask her out. To be honest, it might go well initially, but you are going to fail.

How do I know this? Because you are valuing her way too much and thinking and strategizing too much. This will somehow come across to her, and it's going to mess it up.

Still, taking action is the much better choice. Doing nothing will make you feel like a pussy, and will seriously harm you in the long run.

If you like a girl, go talk to her and ask her out. Ideas of awkwardness and maybe it not going right shouldn't even be in your head.

Too much thinking, not enough action. Thinking comes after the fact - when twenty girls in a row reject you - then you need to figure out how to correct your action. You're not there yet, you should be just taking action.

[kingq]

I am planning a day at the museum with some friends. I don't like going out to bars and clubs but the museum would give lots of props for me to work with as well as play some get to know you games. Then afterwards we can all go out to eat which would be an easy venue change. It's casual and it allows me to build rapport with her. I've had a friend of mine pull something similar to this on another woman and it worked magnificently so I'm confident in this one. It may not lead to a bang on the first night but it will allow me to socialize and stand out.

[kingq]

Honestly I feel pretty confident I will get a yes. I'm a likable person and you're right I need to quit thinking and talking about it and just fucking doing. @Godofwar

[kingq]

UPDATE:

So, I didn't have the chance to ask her out. No wait I didn't have the balls to ask her out. We made a lot of eye contact on Tuesday and she even went out of her way to open two doors for me afterwards and all I said was thank you... LOL WTF!?

Although I have caught her eyeing me during class my testicles haven't dropped so I didn't follow up or anything. Kind of disappointed I let that go. Spring weather has been hitting where I'm living so I can wear tighter clothes/less clothes. & Im seeing a lot more girls check me out. So my confidence is up and I'm able to be more social because of it. I actually have a lot of women approaching me at this point. It's kinda odd, I went to a restaurant the other day and the waitress gave me her number.

Long story short after spring break is over I will go into the remaining 8 weeks of the semester and take what's mine.

P.S. I'm noticing more BETA characteristics in people around me, I'm not perfect and I definitely have BETA tendencies but wow thank god I have come a long way.

[eradicator]

good lord, you are reminding me of me about 20 years ago. Honestly, I would talk to a shrink to figure out what is going on with you.

Tell girls you like that they should hang out with you at some point in the interaction. Get them over to your room or apartment and start escalating. You have to actually make some of this happen. Start by making small talk with EVERYONE to get your social skills in order. Say hello to people you don't know. Having basic conversations(with women, men, old people, homeless people, whatever people you encounter in the world)

When you are talking to a woman you want to bang, you have to ask her out, you don't have to tell her to go on a date with you, you can say "hey we should hang out later!" and she will likely be thrilled.

don't beat yourself up about not asking this girl out, there will be many other hot chicks that you will be too chicken to ask out later. you have to work up to that though.

[kingq]

I think you missed my update. I am being more social now although I'm usually a recluse. I just have to continue to be social. And you're right I do need to see a shrink but not because of reasons stated above. And you're wrong I won't pass up opportunities in the future. I'm noticing how much women look at me and go googly eyed over me more often. I've always felt that most people have been intimidated by me because of my height and stature so they always want me to make the first move (socially) & now after recognizing that things will be a lot easier. I appreciate your feedback.