[OregonToSoCal]

I've done some digging around the forum and so far have not found a comprehensive thread regarding what is the biggest challenge I've been facing in my 3+ years post divorce and taking the red pill.

My personality is naturally introverted but I do a great job of upping my energy (temporarily) in social situations. However after a week at most of going to social functions, dates and approaching I find myself completely depleted and almost borderline depressed. After a couple of days to myself I'm usually back up and ready to get back in the game but it ends up being a tumultuous roller coaster ride of high and low emotions for me. Sometimes it gets so bad that I will go into recluse mode for a couple of weeks if I'm not spinning any plates at the moment. I'll still spend time with friends and family but the thought of meeting new women almost wears me out just thinking about it.

I know many of you may reply with "well don't try to be higher energy" or "only go out x days out of the week" but we all know how hard it is to say no when the fish, uh pussy, is biting and we're on a hot streak

Does anyone else feel this way, and if so have you come up with a balanced routine that allows you to keep the mental energy tank full while also not leaving pussy on the table?

[DrewP]

I'm glad I found this post. I'm feeling the exact same way lately; went on a ton of dates the past couple months with no bangs to show for it, and now I just feel mentally depleted. In my head, the dating process is no longer associated with excitement, affection, and sex as it should be. Now I just think of dating as another chore on my to-do list that, if I ignore, I'll become a lonely, pathetic loser.

Here's the solution I've arrived at: Some of us introverts just have to accept that we're not cut out for the lifestyle of dating/banging a lot of different women. If "the thought of meeting new women almost wears you out just thinking about it," you're probably one of those. So instead of trying to be someone you're not, go after a quality relationship. Don't waste your energy going on dates with women you couldn't see yourself staying with. Only set up dates with those women who EXCITE you. Say to yourself: "When the day of the date finally rolls around, am I going to be eager go out and get to know this person, or am I going to have to dutifully drag myself out there because standing someone up is mean?" If it's not clearly the former, then don't set up the date.

You may go a really long time between dates with this standard, but you don't enjoy them anyway so who cares? I met my last girlfriend with this frame of mind; my date with her was the first I'd been on in like 8 months. Trust me, dates tend to me much more successful when you're enthusiastic about them. Rolling a bunch of lackluster dates off the assembly line is a waste of time; this is the lesson I just got done relearning.

[StrikeBack]

For me it's not so much about being an introvert or extravert, it's the simple fact that outside of banging / physical stuff, most women to me are boring and mentally draining to be around. That coupled with the many things I do in my life (hobbies, job, side hustles, learning new stuff) can leave me exhausted from time to time.

I don't really have any solution at the moment other than not forcing myself to play the "he who dies with the most bangs wins at life" game, and being at ease with whatever notch count I have.

I'm looking into meditation to see if I can increase my mental energy / capacity.

[OregonToSoCal]

I've been trying to move in the direction of raising my standards and being selective on who I go after but one side of my personality loves the red pill player lifestyle and the excitement of getting new notches but I know my mental energy is not unlimited. What I do know is that I'm not prepared to give up this lifestyle after spending a lifetime of getting near zero pussy, even while married. It's also becoming very apparent that for me diet, fitness and not fapping are critical in order to maximize my energy and hunger to keep going.

[Giovonny]

"Burnout" can happen to anyone that does the same thing over and over and over again.

How to avoid burnout?

- Take a break.

- Only approach girls that are very attractive to you. Do not approach average girls.

- Only do dates that are fun for you.

- Seek more variety in the way you approach, the girls you approach and the types of dates that you do.

- Only date when the logistics are set up in your favor. DO NOT go out of your way.

- Focus on having fun

After my first 1000 approaches, I started to feel a little bit of "burnout".

Here are the adjustments that I made:

- I approach girls only when its convenient for me.

- I only approach girls that I am seriously attracted to. I don't approach 6s

- I only date girls if they live within 10 minutes of my house.

- I only date girls that have similar interests as me.

- I only do dates that are fun for me.

- I take breaks when I feel I need to.

These things have helped me avoid burnout and continue learning about modern dating and sex.

[OregonToSoCal]

Thanks Gio, I always respect your sage advice. After really thinking about this the last few days I know that I'm still subconsciously operating from a scarcity mindset in that I don't want to "waste" pussy so I end up trying to book something with anything that remotely passes my boner test. I think you're spot on in that the way for me to manage this long term is to really up my standards, take lots of short breaks and only go for the ones who have rock solid logistics. It's just so hard to pass up a 6 who fits my niche and is DTF but has shaky logistics. I believe one of the really underrated parts of having tight game is being able to quickly screen for the best targets and not be afraid to pass on ones that don't fit perfectly. It's much like the top tier poker players who ruthlessly fold on the majority of their hands and only play the specific cards they're looking for.

[LAX]

This is a good and relevant question.

When you are
i. red pill
ii. love the challenge of new notches
iii. set expectations for yourself for 2015

all you want to do is step, or attempt to step to every boner-pass you see. This creates a self-induced level of anxiety and alertness which is slightly euphoric but also exhausting. If you don't release that anxiety by achieving your daily goal or if you don't get the pay-off towards the end of the day you end up feeling more depleted and depressed. This accumulates over cold streaks.

Much akin to what Gio said - you have to allow yourself to focus on what your goals are and don't pressure yourself to carpet bomb everything. You want 9s? focus on that until you've gone a period of time where you haven't had sex and then you can relax the standards a bit.

Ambition is awesome - but burdening yourself with constant achievement goals can be debilitating. It's a balance

* Go out when you are feeling it, there is tomorrow - but don't get too lax
* Balance effort vs reward - if it takes extra effort to go somewhere where chances of bone after higher do it, but if you are up for it otherwise take you chances closer and let it improve your game

Hope of that helps.

[polar]

Good stuff here already, and Gio always delivers.

This recent Krauser post is on a similar topic and resonated with me: http://krauserpua.com/2015/02/18/hollowing-out/

I'm in a similar boat. Introverted, and my game hot streaks are usually about a month long before I'd get burned out, become frustrated with the grind (not to be confused with being unwilling to put in the work), and realize other areas of my life have been struggling.

I gravitate to several-month-long mini-relationships, where I don't discuss feelings with the girl(s, I like to keep it plural) but which also turn into more than fuck buddy arrangements - I'll take them out, there's intimacy, but the feelings aren't an all-consuming fire. If I get bored or they act up, I'll make a push over a couple of weeks to get new strange in the pipeline.

The other reason I do this is subpar logistics, meaning my pre-bang attrition rates are higher, and I have to invest more effort and dates into getting the bangs.

For example, I recently moved to a much bigger city, leaving behind a couple of regulars. Downtown is fantastic for game, but I'm currently in a hood part of town, meaning I have subpar game logistics and talent. I hit it hard the first couple of weeks to lock don some fresh pussy... Between that and a couple of visits by my old regulars, I've had my thirst quenched so I can kill it at work for the next few months...which should let me move closer to the action come summer.

[Ternarydemonite]

As burnout gets to you, you start to go on dates just for the sake of it. Bad move. Is is a waste of resources and time. Better to invest time in you than on a date where, If you don't care if you get a bang or not, much less the woman.

[Capitán Peligroso]

Kratom.

[XXL]

I can relate to that. one day i decided to drop gaming many girls and start screening hard to go after special girls i click with.

benefits?

it's not tiring cause average girls are left out or befriended so i don't waste time working them. i'm more patient cause i really enjoy girls i hang out with. rejection doesn't bother me at all now cause i would not enjoy those girls either way so no loss. I'm motivated by quality not by proving my game is this or that. it's much more fulfilling to me now.

i remember this one day when i caught myself trying to meet up with a girl and suddenly it dawned on me how stupid it was to chase this so so girl that i wasn't really attracted to that much. it was "wtf am i doing?" moment.

[Phoenix]

In addition to whats been said, try aiming for specific variety.

It is much more exciting, for example, to have a blue eyed girl, then a big tit girl, then a chinese girl, then a big butt girl, then an 19yo, then a 36yo, then a latina, than it is to have 10 girls who are all around the same age/body type/look/personality.

[Beyond Borders]

Read this book and you'll understand yourself better: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking I've been meaning to create a review on this one.

Most people who know me wouldn't consider me an introvert, but this book gave me a lot of perspective, including much more respect for introverts, an understanding of how much extroversion is over-hyped, and some new insights into and acceptance of my own character (including why I've got both strong extrovert and introvert traits in my personality).

It is written by a woman and has nothing to do with game but there's a lot of relevant, actionable advice within.

[OregonToSoCal]

(03-06-2015 07:24 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Read this book and you'll understand yourself better: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking I've been meaning to create a review on this one.

Most people who know me wouldn't consider me an introvert, but this book gave me a lot of perspective, including much more respect for introverts, an understanding of how much extroversion is over-hyped, and some new insights into and acceptance of my own character (including why I've got both strong extrovert and introvert traits in my personality).

It is written by a woman and has nothing to do with game but there's a lot of relevant, actionable advice within.

Thanks, I just bought this for my kindle, looking forward to reading it.

[Fortis]

Glad someone made this thread.

For the past month or so I have felt dead in the water. I simply don't want to even think about women. No, I didn't get burned badly by some chick or something, I just feel a sense of general unease. I got some blood work done and I'm fine. The only thing my doctor told me is that I need to eat and sleep more. I complained about low libido, but my testosterone levels seem to be fine.

I'm leaving the country for a year in a few months and I've finally got everything prepped, but I don't feel the need to go full-throttle, balls-to-the-wall like I thought I would. I don't want to go on dates, go out at night or even really see people in general. I've been forcing myself to hang out with friends and give them the time they deserve before I leave. As far as dating goes, I have several decent leads, but I feel no genuine desire to go out and dates and get lays.

I thought I would feel a real urge to shiv my way through as many women as possible in the brief time I have left, but all I really want to do is lift weights, read books, play video games, hang with my friends and generally lay low. This is quite ideal given that I'm trying to keep my costs low before I leave, but it's a little anti-climactic I guess.

Anyone else deal with a protracted period of low energy and interest in things?