[RexImperator]

This is tangentially related to "game" but since it involves male-female interactions I thought I should ask it here.

Here's something I'm wondering... Even if there's no sexual angle, is being polite to girls just "wrong"? It seems like they have no respect for that.

Do you have to "always be gaming"?

[MdWanderer]

(02-04-2015 11:25 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

This is tangentially related to "game" but since it involves male-female interactions I thought I should ask it here.

Here's something I'm wondering... Even if there's no sexual angle, is being polite to girls just "wrong"? It seems like they have no respect for that.

Do you have to "always be gaming"?

I think it is okay to be polite but don't do extra things for them because of their sex (holding doors, letting them order first if its just a group of friends, giving up your seat unless they're disabled, elderly, or with small children). Don't go out of your way to be mean to women or insult them, be friendly and cordial like you would with a guy, but don't do them any extra favors for being female either. But if you follow this advice, be prepared to get called out by your white-knight guy friends. I've taken a lot of crap from other men because I don't treat women like do-no-wrong goddesses and actually have the nerve to stand up to them when they act bitchy (and then cry and complain when their girlfriends cheat on them). Women don't get special favors unless they earn it.

[WestIndianArchie]

Not sure If I follow.

Examples? Scenarios?

I no longer volunteer to help a woman blindly.
ex. I don't fix computers for my female co-workers.
Ex. I don't lift heavy things, or help lift heavy things.

But if a mother is inattentive, I haven't let her toddler walk into a busy parking lot.

Rewind to a decade ago, I used to jump into the middle of fights and domestic disputes. Lol at doing that now.

As for the always be "gaming" ugh...once you have game you don't really turn back. You're not always working an angle, but you definitely see them. When I don't act on my instincts, I usually feel bad about it.

WIA

[The_e_man]

Be "polite" purely to maintain a level of professionalism.
If your career does not require you to maintain any professionalism / reputation, then do whatever the fuck you want.

[tallandblonde]

It's easy, don't treat any woman differently than you would a male friend unless you're banging her or interested in banging her. Even then, you shouldn't be bending over backwards doing her favors.

An example: A female friend that I have no interest in banging asked if she could crash at my place one night. I say sure, no problem, there's a couch for you to sleep on. Then she asked why can't we share a bed. Told her that I wouldn't be sharing a bed with a male friend if there was an empty couch in the living room, so that's her only option and it's no different for her. She gave me the whole "but I'm a girl" shtick but I didn't budge.

[the high]

(02-04-2015 12:33 PM)tallandblonde Wrote:  

It's easy, don't treat any woman differently than you would a male friend unless you're banging her or interested in banging her.

In a nutshell.

Great post.

EDIT: I will add though the real trick is to be as loose around guys as you are around girls and vice versa. If you ballbust girls don't shy away from ballbusting guys (within reason). Just with girls add a sexual element to it (if you're interested).

[Fortis]

I believe in being polite to everyone, BUT I don't go out of my way for women. Her vagina isn't made of gold, so I don't treat her as though it is. I will hold the door for others, but that's just me being considerate and amiable. I don't think holding the door for a woman makes me chivalric or anything. Often times I'll hold the door, they'll go in and then they'll hold the secondary door for me. I just see it as a matter of manners and class.

This does remind me of something that happened once at the gym:

This little kid is holding the door for his mom and waited for me to come up and even held the door for me; I look down and give him a high five. He runs through the door after me and lets the door slam in this girl's face.

Game recognized.

[Menace]

There is nothing wrong with being polite. It's the mark of civility and culture. I've been to plenty of parties full of women who are not my cup of tea either physically or by virtue of their personality. I was still polite and spoke to them normally.

The real separation is what you do with your time viz a vis women you don't find attractive. As others have said, as long as you treat them like men, it's all good.

[WestIndianArchie]

(02-04-2015 12:33 PM)tallandblonde Wrote:  

An example: A female friend that I have no interest in banging asked if she could crash at my place one night. I say sure, no problem, there's a couch for you to sleep on. Then she asked why can't we share a bed. Told her that I wouldn't be sharing a bed with a male friend if there was an empty couch in the living room, so that's her only option and it's no different for her. She gave me the whole "but I'm a girl" shtick but I didn't budge.

So you're saying you passed up a blowjob from an ugly girl?

Sad to say that I've been "gamed" before in that situation.

WIA

[tallandblonde]

She has hot friends.

[Aliblahba]

(02-04-2015 01:07 PM)Menace Wrote:  

There is nothing wrong with being polite. It's the mark of civility and culture. I've been to plenty of parties full of women who are not my cup of tea either physically or by virtue of their personality. I was still polite and spoke to them normally.

The real separation is what you do with your time viz a vis women you don't find attractive. As others have said, as long as you treat them like men, it's all good.

   

Speak softly and carry a big stick.

[Apollo21]

Politeness is really just social etiquette...it has nothing to do with gaming at all.

You don't have to act like some girls butler...or her puppy dog. However that doesn't
mean you can't do genuinely nice things (occasionally) for girls that you like...as long as it's on your terms.

[Giovonny]

Being polite is rarely a mistake.

Like Menace stated...

"Culture" depends on treating other people with class and "civility".

This is what separates us from animals, barbarians, savages, and the uncivilized.

I believe manners are very important.

The way we treat people is directly related to the advancement or destruction of our culture.

[Kish]

I think American girls see polite behavior as weak. So the answer is yes

[kaotic]

(02-05-2015 01:54 PM)Kish Wrote:  

I think American girls see polite behavior as weak. So the answer is yes

I disagree, being polite is different from being a nice beta doormat simp supplicator kind of guy.

Since when did "please" "thankyou" "you're welcome" become beta ?

Since when can you not spin politeness into game or funny/cocky lines ?

[TravelerKai]

(02-04-2015 01:17 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(02-04-2015 12:33 PM)tallandblonde Wrote:  

An example: A female friend that I have no interest in banging asked if she could crash at my place one night. I say sure, no problem, there's a couch for you to sleep on. Then she asked why can't we share a bed. Told her that I wouldn't be sharing a bed with a male friend if there was an empty couch in the living room, so that's her only option and it's no different for her. She gave me the whole "but I'm a girl" shtick but I didn't budge.

So you're saying you passed up a blowjob from an ugly girl?

Sad to say that I've been "gamed" before in that situation.

WIA

Sometimes that is a bad move because if he is using her for pipeline material, even a quickie will ruin that circle.

9 times out of 10 a female "friend" is just a pipeline prop. All mine are. Bad thing about them is that it looks bad to get rid of them later when you no longer need them. I have plenty of those on my facebook even. The good thing is that they are harmless usually and they almost never bother me and it does not take much to be polite to them as well.

[WestIndianArchie]

Related to this post
________________________________________

"However so-called good manners that most mothers raise their sons to adopt insofar as how to treat females have more to do with how a mother wants her son to treat HER, as she is the primary female in her boy's life.

She does not want her son to have a sexual relationship with her, but instead wants him to respect her above all else, to seek her approval, to be polite, to apologize, to explain his behavior, adapt to her commands, follow her lead, and do as he is told."

page 91 - of The Manual - What Women Want and How to Give It To Them - W. Anton

He goes on to say

"This submissive behavior a mother wants...is the opposite of sexually attractive...thus when boys grow up and apply these "good manners" with women they want to have sexual relationship with, those women are repulsed.

WIA

[Apollo21]

(02-06-2015 08:12 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Related to this post
________________________________________

"However so-called good manners that most mothers raise their sons to adopt insofar as how to treat females have more to do with how a mother wants her son to treat HER, as she is the primary female in her boy's life.

She does not want her son to have a sexual relationship with her, but instead wants him to respect her above all else, to seek her approval, to be polite, to apologize, to explain his behavior, adapt to her commands, follow her lead, and do as he is told."

page 91 - of The Manual - What Women Want and How to Give It To Them - W. Anton

He goes on to say

"This submissive behavior a mother wants...is the opposite of sexually attractive...thus when boys grow up and apply these "good manners" with women they want to have sexual relationship with, those women are repulsed.

WIA

Sounds a little like Freud/psycobabble to me. You've got to be careful about that stuff or it will ruin your game. Little boys are expected to be well behaved(generally) and do what their mothers tell them to do because they're children.

Men however, are expected to take charge and take responsibility. No Mama wants a mama's boy.

[RexImperator]

I think WIA is getting at something but I just can't put my finger on it exactly...somehow this applies to all M/F interactions.

[WestIndianArchie]

(02-06-2015 10:04 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I think WIA is getting at something but I just can't put my finger on it exactly...somehow this applies to all M/F interactions.

Probably something to develop for a different thread.

Please feel free to take the lead on it.


WIA

[eradicator]

(02-06-2015 08:12 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Related to this post
________________________________________

"However so-called good manners that most mothers raise their sons to adopt insofar as how to treat females have more to do with how a mother wants her son to treat HER, as she is the primary female in her boy's life.

She does not want her son to have a sexual relationship with her, but instead wants him to respect her above all else, to seek her approval, to be polite, to apologize, to explain his behavior, adapt to her commands, follow her lead, and do as he is told."

page 91 - of The Manual - What Women Want and How to Give It To Them - W. Anton

He goes on to say

"This submissive behavior a mother wants...is the opposite of sexually attractive...thus when boys grow up and apply these "good manners" with women they want to have sexual relationship with, those women are repulsed.

WIA

sure, you can hold a door open for a woman, just make sure to smack her on the ass when she walks through.

[The_CEO]

In some countries I've visited in S. America, holding a door for women or letting women board public transpo. first is not just common courtesy, it's the masculine thing to do.
On the other hand, in these places there's a healthy masculine-feminine polarity. Women have long hair, wear dresses, etc.

When that is destabilized, you see glimpses of the consequences, with women fantasizing about "50 Shades of Gray" and guys being wracked with self-doubt about holding open a door.