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Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates
#1

Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates

[Image: realtalknew.jpg]

Whether you'd like to believe it or not, the game is a small world. While most people are aware of it, only a minority actually participate in it. At the conclusion of this edition of Real Talk Sessions, it is imperative that you know which team you're on and that going forward you'll be able to quickly identify which team a woman who has crossed your path plays for.

Spectators

Spectators are not active participants in the game. They are watching others who are playing and/or feigning their desire to play.

There are men out here who do know about the game. They're reading books, blogs, and posting on game forums, but they're not actually doing anything with the information. The problems they see with the game are seen from an outside perspective. Some of these guys may even go out, but when they go out, they stand on the wall and nurse a drink, watching other guys try to create relationships out of thin air, seeing other guys try to further recently established relationships, and noticing other guys solidify already established relationships with women. In the course of doing so, they make certain observations, ones that they can even talk about in a community such as this one, but they're not personally involved in any of those interactions, they were just voyeurs.

The lowest level of men who are spectators are thirsty men trolling social media sites to put in fake bids for chicks. These guys are on Instagram, Tumblr, etc. spitting shit like this:

[Image: tumblr_n2z73qQVG41qzvihwo1_1280.jpg]

They'll never get a response, and they know it. We've talked about this before, these women don't post these pictures for them.

There are women out there who are spectators as well, many of them are absolutely terrified of the game. It's difficult for them to put themselves out there and be judged by men. It's also difficult to accept that even though they may get some attention, it's solely sexual, and men have no interest in them for anything past that, which makes them feel bad because they actually believe they have something to offer that's deeper than that. On the flip side, you have women out here who know they aren't shit. These are your girls who are webcamming, posting naked pictures on websites like Tumblr and constantly putting out thirsty, sexual energy that attracts losers who want to jack off to their pictures rather than go spit at a real, live in the flesh woman. These women do this for attention and validation, they make tweets and other types of posts that express how horny they are, how badly they want to get fucked, and the losers that follow them will assure them that if they were there, they would do A, B, C, and D. But it never goes any further than that.

Think about it.

If a woman really wanted to date someone, if she really wanted to get fucked, would she post some booty shots online to serve that end game?

No, she doesn't really want to meet anyone off a site like Tumblr, and most chicks on social media don't give any indication as to where they are, so a lot of guys who are giving them the attention and would give them what they purport to desire, aren't even physically close to them to make anything happen.

If she really did want to get fucked, she could go to any club and/or bar and likely find someone who would meet her standards to do that. If she was a decent girl who just wanted to be in a relationship with a decent guy, she wouldn't be posting naked pictures anywhere at all. So you have to understand what's in these girls' minds and hearts. They don't have anything to offer to anybody because they're not shit, so they resort to the attention-whoring that sadly gives them a non-tangible return on something that would be much better if they could actually have it in reality.

These people are the spectators, the game is a fantasy world for them in which they spend all of their time just watching and/or pretending to have a desire to participate, but for whatever reason, they're not really in the game, but, we're all better off as a result.


Players

These days every man purports to be a player. I mean, after all, not many guys will proudly claim to be a simp, unless we count some of these UK trolls that have been popping up lately. I disagree with most men's claims of playerdom, but I'll re-frame the player classification into three categories: non-players, bad players, and good players.

The only thing that these three groups of men have in common is that they're actually participating in the game.

Non-Players
The non-players are typically former spectators who have finally decided to put their uniforms on and take the field. They've read some books, they've read some blogs, they've taken in some sort of game advice, and now they're hitting up the clubs and online dating sites trying to make some shit happen.

The reason they are non-players is because nothing's popping off. They are approaching at the clubs, approaching during their lunch time at work, sending out messages on websites, but nothing is coming to fruition.

They're frustrated, and chances are, they're just not ready yet. They're not ready, because they don't really have anything to offer to women that they would want. Maybe they need to get their looks up, maybe they need to get their money up, the bottom line is something is off for them and it's not working in terms of getting women into their lives.

Bad Players
The bad players are actually in the game because they have women in their lives. Those women are there because the men have something to offer to them that they want. What makes them bad players is they are constantly taking L's with women. Ultimately, women get what they want from them, while the men end up short-changed.

Simps are bad players. Simps go after physically attractive women and try to leverage their money for whatever they can get from those women. Most of these guys accept the fact that these women will give them the illusion of pussy, but they think they are winning just because the woman is in their life. They go out to dinner. They go do fun stuff. They take pictures together that end up on Instagram, but at the end of the day, they mean little to nothing to the women. The women get what they want out of them, and give their bodies to other men.

Rich and famous men can be simps as well, but in most cases they actually get the pussy. The main reason they are bad players is because over the course of their relationships with women, they give up their leverage. They meet a chick, who has nothing to bring to the table other than her looks, and by the end of the relationship, the man is getting dissed, and the woman can move on because she's used the fact that it became common knowledge that she was fucking Famous Guy X to gain name recognition. She then uses the name recognition to build her own brand, which allows her to accumulate her own resources. Most rappers and athletes fall hard into this category. Chicks are with them when they're on top, and by the time it's all over, the men are has-beens who are broke and unable to generate the kind of money that they used to, and the women are in a better place than they are.

Prime examples of this dynamic can be found in my series Rich and Famous Men Still Get Played and Excelsior's new Simp of the Day series.

Good Players
Good players set themselves apart from non-players and bad players, because they manage to figure out how to get what they want from women and not take L's in the process. That is not to say that good players bat 1.000. Good players may slip up, but they don't fall down. For example, a good player may find a time when he's dealt with the wrong chick, but he hasn't done some dumb shit like marry and/or impregnate her, so he can learn from that relationship and move on completely detached from it.

Good players understand that they have to keep women at arm's length at all times. Women have something to prove. They don't get where they want to be until they have proven what's needed to be proved over an extended period of time, i.e. years. Good players understand you can't allow yourself to get too open because a woman is throwing good pussy your way or she's being sweet to you for a couple of months. Good players know she wants something out of the deal, and she's not doing it for nothing, so the goal is to understand what she wants, and make sure she works to get it. If you don't want her to get it, then you have to give her the illusion of it so that you keep getting what you want, which is usually something along the lines of money and pussy.

In the end, good players stand alone because they exhibit an unusual understanding of women that allows them to get unusual results with women. For example, men can argue over whether or not a woman should get appetizers during a drink date, but that's a non-issue when she's paying for hers and yours.

Teammates

Great athletes always find a way to thank their teammates for their success. For example, a basketball player scores 60 points in a game, and afterwards he acknowledges the fact that his teammates got him the ball in the right places at the right times which helped him do what he did. Teammates sacrifice by playing a role, with an understanding of who the star is. There can't be two stars in a relationship, someone has to score and someone has to assist. More often than not, that someone has to be the woman. When a woman is a true teammate, she helps you be a great player. That doesn't mean the woman is inferior, and it doesn't mean that she's not great too, it just simply means that in terms of the relationship, she wants to work with you to achieve a common goal that benefits the both of you. You can have a real relationship with a teammate. You can marry a teammate. You can have a family with a teammate. The point here is simple, don't attempt to have anything of substance with any woman who can't be classified as a teammate.

Opponents

An opponent is someone who wants to win at your expense, which means you lose. Most women that cross your path will be nothing more than opponents, just accept that now. It doesn't matter how hot she is, it doesn't matter how badly you want her, neither of those thought processes changes the fact that she's an opponent, and you will lose against her.

You meet a girl, she gives you her number, you two plan a date, 15 minutes before the date, she texts you to let you know that she forgot to add Oxy Clean to her load of laundry and won't be able to make it to the date. She's an opponent. She didn't value your time, and didn't have any desire for there to a potential relationship between you two, so while you were making plans, getting dressed, etc. she didn't invest anything because she knew she was never going to make it.

Now sometimes, the girl shows up for the date. But you find out later, she wasn't really attracted to you, and she doesn't have any real desire to see you again. This was a chick who used you for a free meal, night on the town, etc. She knew what she wanted out of the interaction, and she damn sure knew what you wanted, but had no desire to give you what you wanted, so she got hers, and now she's done.

If you're getting used, taken advantage of, etc. then you're dealing with opponents. Opponents are out for themselves. They don't give a fuck about you. They look for whatever they can get out of the interaction, and while you're thinking progress is being made, they're thinking of how to eject since their goal has been accomplished.

For men out there that actually have something more to offer to women, they have to be careful for women who masquerade as teammates. While lower-level women may use a man for a free meal, some attention, a night out on the town, women who are opponents masquerading as teammates want something more. Much more. They're looking for financial security, name recognition, etc. To get there, she suckers you into believing that she's down for you, and as soon as there is any bump in the road, she will eject, knowing that she got what she was looking for, and she's done with you, she can move on. She could have married you, she could have had your children, but that doesn't mean she wasn't an opponent.

Struggling/broke bitches, single moms, gold-diggers, etc. are prime material for women who will masquerade as teammates.

At the end of the day, you can see the L coming, if you choose to.

If you want to be a player and win, know the game, not just the environment, but the different types of people who thrive within it, you'll be much happier with your results.
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#2

Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates

To say your shit is next level Jariel, is possibly speaking too highly of the levels. It just might be next world.

This line dropped by Black Thought in Zen Approach by Krush comes to mind:

"I've got them battlefield dents in my armor
A twitch from the drama, the trees, and bad Karma"


This is wisdom, sounds hard earned. I don't know the poster, but I will hazard a guess and say it came with a scar or two.

It appears to me if you come out of the game unscathed, you haven't been playing at all.

And I think this is where a lot of would be players talk big, but walk nowhere. When it dawns on them that to go deep with this, you will take heat, and it's you on the line. Your actual character, not a profile. And I'm not talking about getting gunned down after your opener.

Internally the resolution is: "No thanks, I'll just spectate." Served up with a large side of denial. And this is based on notions like "I'm cold approaching (I am), I'm taking numbers (I am)" and calling that playing the game, when it's just spinning tyres.

I'm struggling to honestly place myself in one of those categories. I can tell you which ones it's not. Shit, I logged on for some light reading. Not unapologetic, harsh self assessment.

Gonna lift real heavy tomorrow. Seriously fucking heave.

Quote: (02-01-2015 02:10 PM)jariel Wrote:  

There can't be two stars in a relationship, someone has to score and someone has to assist. More often than not, that someone has to be the woman. When a woman is a true teammate, she helps you be a great player. That doesn't mean the woman is inferior, and it doesn't mean that she's not great too, it just simply means that in terms of the relationship, she wants to work with you to achieve a common goal that benefits the both of you. You can have a real relationship with a teammate. You can marry a teammate. You can have a family with a teammate. The point here is simple, don't attempt to have anything of substance with any woman who can't be classified as a teammate.

Unfortunately all I have are a few tales of being set up as the leading man and finding out in the closing credits I was actually auditioning for a supporting role after all.

Anyone on here ever met a woman like this? Share with the group.

"Pain is certain, suffering is optional" - Buddah
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#3

Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates

This post is incredible. Your best so far.

I would say I'm teetering on the edge between non player and bad player- Ive consciously forced myself to put in approached and make effort, but any success I have is very sporadic.
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#4

Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates

It all comes down to your ambition and what you're willing to endure to claim your prize.

Frustration, heartbreak, disappointment, loneliness...the "gauntlet" usually chews up most guys
ambition before they ever get started...and many will then settle for less than what they deserve.

The key to professional game is to have emotional resilience, so you can endure a variety of hardships
and keep going until you get what you really want.
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#5

Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates

Damn Jariel, pure gold..... pure gold. Made me realize how many of my female friends are truly opponents ,never teammates.Not one of them has been on my "team" on terms you posted above .

Maybe I need to re-frame those relationships and see where the dust settles.
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#6

Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates

jariel, your RTS have been nothing short of phenomenal. This is amazing, I'd identify to be a non-player. Still new to game, and efforts aren't paying divideds yet. Not going to bitch about, just going to keep learning and improving myself. I'm curious however, how many years of game do you have? Seem very experienced.
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#7

Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates

Jariel's post hit the forum harder than Chuck Norris hitting people, than hurricane Katrina hitting the coast.

Knowing that most women are opponents just suddenly puts my mind at surprising ease. Now we can keep it simple and quick with them.

Ass or cash, nobody rides for free - WestIndiArchie
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#8

Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates

Real talk!

jariel drops another nuke in the game section.

Your killing it dude. Keep it up.

I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to have some real consistent success in the game and I'm starting to love playing it. I feel like 2015 Jimmy Buckets. Even the flakes, bad attitudes, all of that. You just absorb it all and move forward recalibrating and deepening your understand as you go.
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#9

Real Talk Sessions: Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates

If you're a spectator it's best to avoid game forums, until you actually get in the game.
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