Alright so this thread is mainly for guys that are in that weird category of "beginners but not quite beginners." That's how I would describe myself right now. I want to ask, where are you guys right now after a period of 6 active months in the game? What are your strengths? What are your sticking points?
Strengths:
1. Approach game has improved vastly:
I've transitioned from what Christ (GLL) calls "basic guy game" to a more "screening game" approach in the past few months. This transition is not yet complete, but it continues on at a good pace. This began with me telling the girl I'd leave if she didn't want to talk to screen if she was interested in talking. Now I've begun doing a few other things (if a girl is well-dressed and we're both standing I'll see if she'll twirl for me, for example). I usually get zero negative responses to anything I do.
2. Frame:
My frame is just naturally dominant. All it took was a little confidence and now girls tend to buy into my frame. I very very rarely get shit tested. This also doesn't really surprise me since I have tended to dominate my social interactions ever since I was a little kid. I was always organizing things, getting people to do things, etc. Classic ENTJ traits (I recommend going over your MBTI personality type to people that are really new as it can really give you some insight into your strengths and weaknesses in game).
Basically given these two things combined with my looks (~10% body fat, good style, good cheekbones and jawline) I tend to build attraction very quickly. I get instant dates frequently and phone numbers damn near every time I approach now.
However all is not as well as it might seem, as there are definite weaknesses I have noticed and need to improve on.
As I mentioned before, my flake rate of numbers leading to nowhere is pretty atrocious. We all know phone numbers don't mean shit, and instant dates don't mean a whole lot either in the grand scheme of things. However, this is telling me a couple of things...
1. I am not building up enough comfort in my approaches:
This is probably the biggest thing I need to work on and is probably an ENTJ weakness. While I dominate my interactions and take the lead which is attractive, I am probably failing to establish a deeper connection and rapport. I need to do this by asking her about her desires and goals and finding a deeper commonality as Gio remarks on. I need to set a reminder to myself that I should ask one meaningful qualifying question to a girl per interaction, and multiple ones if it's an instant date.
Now this is somewhat difficult because as I mentioned before, I am not by nature an emotional person and I never was. Therefore I need to be careful otherwise I may come across as inauthentic. I just need to get girls to invest more so they'll be more comfortable.
A girl might be attracted to you, but attraction is fleeting. She might even want to fuck you but if she's too scared or nervous she's not going to. Along with continuing to implement a more screening style, comfort game is priority #1 for me right now.
I also have an idea to mention the possibility of the girl having a boyfriend before a number close. The classic game mentality might advise against this, but I counter that this more aggressively screens for interest. The boyfriend excuse gives the girl a socially acceptable, non-awkward way to get rid of you if she doesn't want to see you again, and you aren't wasting energy on a number that would have led to nowhere anyway. What do you guys think about this?
2. Text/Phone game needs some work:
Although 1 is most responsible, my text and phone game needs some work too as I've often been at a loss for what to do. I've found that I'm running too much "I hope she likes me game" via text and playing too many stupid games which I generally blame the old PUA mindset for.
For example, one recent lead texted me "First question. Are you a sociopath?" I waited too long to respond and the lead went cold. I probably should have spontaneously answered "yes. next question" right then and there since the iron was hot.
Basically, all these text/phone strategies of reply/not reply are, I'm concluding, both outdated (the genesis of them came in the age before smartphones and social media) and a waste of time and energy, a seeming added defense against appearing needy. But the thing is, if you aren't needy, this behavior won't appear in your texts anyway. It shouldn't be something that you need to rehearse, because that right there is needy and lacking in confidence.
Again this is all just a basic hypothesis at the moment and I'm still in the experimentation phase, but I'm going to ditch a lot of the "text game" strategies and go with the GLL mindset regarding this stuff.
3. I need to branch out:
We all know the old adage that you should have multiple pussy streams available. I mostly do day game. We all know that day game, while undoubtedly allowing for the best quality, has the drawback that it's the most flaky form of game there is. Even if you have good screening and comfort game, a lot of girls might just not want to meet you again because in hindsight they might think it's "weird." Doesn't matter if it is or it isn't. If they think it is, there's nothing you can do about it. That initial encounter fades fast, and what Roosh aptly calls the "technology virus" only makes it fade faster.
I am planning to branch out into night and online game in the next six months.
Well, that was me basically thinking aloud. You might not agree with me, but that's where I think I'm at right now. I've made tremendous progress in the past 6 months, but there's still so much more to do.
So where are you other beginners but not quite beginners right now? What are your strengths and what do you need to improve on? That's what this thread is for.
Strengths:
1. Approach game has improved vastly:
I've transitioned from what Christ (GLL) calls "basic guy game" to a more "screening game" approach in the past few months. This transition is not yet complete, but it continues on at a good pace. This began with me telling the girl I'd leave if she didn't want to talk to screen if she was interested in talking. Now I've begun doing a few other things (if a girl is well-dressed and we're both standing I'll see if she'll twirl for me, for example). I usually get zero negative responses to anything I do.
2. Frame:
My frame is just naturally dominant. All it took was a little confidence and now girls tend to buy into my frame. I very very rarely get shit tested. This also doesn't really surprise me since I have tended to dominate my social interactions ever since I was a little kid. I was always organizing things, getting people to do things, etc. Classic ENTJ traits (I recommend going over your MBTI personality type to people that are really new as it can really give you some insight into your strengths and weaknesses in game).
Basically given these two things combined with my looks (~10% body fat, good style, good cheekbones and jawline) I tend to build attraction very quickly. I get instant dates frequently and phone numbers damn near every time I approach now.
However all is not as well as it might seem, as there are definite weaknesses I have noticed and need to improve on.
As I mentioned before, my flake rate of numbers leading to nowhere is pretty atrocious. We all know phone numbers don't mean shit, and instant dates don't mean a whole lot either in the grand scheme of things. However, this is telling me a couple of things...
1. I am not building up enough comfort in my approaches:
This is probably the biggest thing I need to work on and is probably an ENTJ weakness. While I dominate my interactions and take the lead which is attractive, I am probably failing to establish a deeper connection and rapport. I need to do this by asking her about her desires and goals and finding a deeper commonality as Gio remarks on. I need to set a reminder to myself that I should ask one meaningful qualifying question to a girl per interaction, and multiple ones if it's an instant date.
Now this is somewhat difficult because as I mentioned before, I am not by nature an emotional person and I never was. Therefore I need to be careful otherwise I may come across as inauthentic. I just need to get girls to invest more so they'll be more comfortable.
A girl might be attracted to you, but attraction is fleeting. She might even want to fuck you but if she's too scared or nervous she's not going to. Along with continuing to implement a more screening style, comfort game is priority #1 for me right now.
I also have an idea to mention the possibility of the girl having a boyfriend before a number close. The classic game mentality might advise against this, but I counter that this more aggressively screens for interest. The boyfriend excuse gives the girl a socially acceptable, non-awkward way to get rid of you if she doesn't want to see you again, and you aren't wasting energy on a number that would have led to nowhere anyway. What do you guys think about this?
2. Text/Phone game needs some work:
Although 1 is most responsible, my text and phone game needs some work too as I've often been at a loss for what to do. I've found that I'm running too much "I hope she likes me game" via text and playing too many stupid games which I generally blame the old PUA mindset for.
For example, one recent lead texted me "First question. Are you a sociopath?" I waited too long to respond and the lead went cold. I probably should have spontaneously answered "yes. next question" right then and there since the iron was hot.
Basically, all these text/phone strategies of reply/not reply are, I'm concluding, both outdated (the genesis of them came in the age before smartphones and social media) and a waste of time and energy, a seeming added defense against appearing needy. But the thing is, if you aren't needy, this behavior won't appear in your texts anyway. It shouldn't be something that you need to rehearse, because that right there is needy and lacking in confidence.
Again this is all just a basic hypothesis at the moment and I'm still in the experimentation phase, but I'm going to ditch a lot of the "text game" strategies and go with the GLL mindset regarding this stuff.
3. I need to branch out:
We all know the old adage that you should have multiple pussy streams available. I mostly do day game. We all know that day game, while undoubtedly allowing for the best quality, has the drawback that it's the most flaky form of game there is. Even if you have good screening and comfort game, a lot of girls might just not want to meet you again because in hindsight they might think it's "weird." Doesn't matter if it is or it isn't. If they think it is, there's nothing you can do about it. That initial encounter fades fast, and what Roosh aptly calls the "technology virus" only makes it fade faster.
I am planning to branch out into night and online game in the next six months.
Well, that was me basically thinking aloud. You might not agree with me, but that's where I think I'm at right now. I've made tremendous progress in the past 6 months, but there's still so much more to do.
So where are you other beginners but not quite beginners right now? What are your strengths and what do you need to improve on? That's what this thread is for.