Super new to game. I've been reading CH for a couple weeks but last night was basically one of the first parties I went to since, it was an extended social circle of coworkers of a couple close friends and some new people I never met. I felt a little obvious since I was the only guy there that wasn't tied down and all of the women were girlfriends of my gay friend who was hosting the party. I'm trying hard to be introspective but also not read too much into too little information.
I knew this older woman would be there (37; I'm 30) and she was about the only one available, all others in LTRs; she likely had some genuine good looks in the past, she could still pass for nearly a decade younger, but was somewhat dump-ily dressed, not trying to impress anyone. I decided I would practice on her and try to get her number by the end of the night, but wouldn't take her seriously as a prospect; I just wanted to see if I could do it if I tried.
The main issues I seemed to have were starting new threads of conversations with her without anyone else at the party butting in; it appears that the best thing to do in that situation is to ingratiate yourself as a friend, but when groups of 6-8 are the norm, is it even possible to establish value without sounding snide? While everyone is in the group atmosphere, are there any tricks to direct conversations one on one? The entire night nobody directly engaged me or asked me a question about myself; one of the women (old, overweight, and married) asked me something inane about where I lived. Is this a lack of charisma; looks; or are women really just this shallow and self-absorbed?
I noticed that after playfully talking with my target early in the night, in which she seemed quite responsive and forthcoming, that she would then only sheepishly make eye contact with me. In groups of 3 or 4, she would follow what I said but would only rarely make eye contact while I was talking, and when doing so she would do quick glances with her head down. I took this as a bad sign, but twice in the night she walked over and seemed to intentionally bump into me while I was talking to a different group; I didn't bite. Later, I fucked up seriously by touching her out of the blue while awkwardly asking her about which one of the girls she was tightest with, and a coworker of hers overheard and even more awkwardly butted herself into the conversation. I gave up at this point.
In hindsight, I think that I was probably deemed as a beta by the time our conversation wrapped up early in the night and she spent the remainder of the night trying to avoid re-engaging me, but is this sort of mixed signal normal in the course of a slow pickup? Was she waiting for me to re-engage or was she done? Does it even help to practice at that point or is this just negative reinforcement?
I knew this older woman would be there (37; I'm 30) and she was about the only one available, all others in LTRs; she likely had some genuine good looks in the past, she could still pass for nearly a decade younger, but was somewhat dump-ily dressed, not trying to impress anyone. I decided I would practice on her and try to get her number by the end of the night, but wouldn't take her seriously as a prospect; I just wanted to see if I could do it if I tried.
The main issues I seemed to have were starting new threads of conversations with her without anyone else at the party butting in; it appears that the best thing to do in that situation is to ingratiate yourself as a friend, but when groups of 6-8 are the norm, is it even possible to establish value without sounding snide? While everyone is in the group atmosphere, are there any tricks to direct conversations one on one? The entire night nobody directly engaged me or asked me a question about myself; one of the women (old, overweight, and married) asked me something inane about where I lived. Is this a lack of charisma; looks; or are women really just this shallow and self-absorbed?
I noticed that after playfully talking with my target early in the night, in which she seemed quite responsive and forthcoming, that she would then only sheepishly make eye contact with me. In groups of 3 or 4, she would follow what I said but would only rarely make eye contact while I was talking, and when doing so she would do quick glances with her head down. I took this as a bad sign, but twice in the night she walked over and seemed to intentionally bump into me while I was talking to a different group; I didn't bite. Later, I fucked up seriously by touching her out of the blue while awkwardly asking her about which one of the girls she was tightest with, and a coworker of hers overheard and even more awkwardly butted herself into the conversation. I gave up at this point.
In hindsight, I think that I was probably deemed as a beta by the time our conversation wrapped up early in the night and she spent the remainder of the night trying to avoid re-engaging me, but is this sort of mixed signal normal in the course of a slow pickup? Was she waiting for me to re-engage or was she done? Does it even help to practice at that point or is this just negative reinforcement?