[Travesty]

Bilbo and WIA hit both parts.

The fastest way is to drink shots and say sure let's give this LTR a try!

Anything else is adding more work. And if you are trying to bang a chick while she is demanding commitment first why take the hard way?

[alphacentauri]

I'm running into this now with a girl I just took on a third date. It feels like we're at an impasse: she wants the relationship before sex, but I want the sex before a (possible) relationship. I've always been able to seal the deal prior to the third date, so I'd like some advice.

Date 1: Time-constrained meet at a park (i.e., we both had plans afterwards). I got the kiss and hand-holding, but after the kiss, she starting asking me questions like "Are we dating?" and "I want to make sure you're not a playboy" and in general thought we're moving too fast. I was surprised but maintained my composure. We kissed more later, some initiated by her, and we parted on good terms.

Date 2: Met for drinks. I pushed for her to come to my place for a drink, but she again said it's too fast. We did some more kissing on this date, and I felt her up a bit both upstairs and downstairs without any resistance.

Date 3: Met for drinks near my place. I again asked her to come to my place with the usual bait that's worked for me in the past, and again she started up some stuff about this moving too fast and how she's worried I'm going to use her and never contact her again. I pried a bit and gleaned that this has happened to her in the past.

She then brought up how she would only go home with someone who's her boyfriend, and also said she considers a boyfriend someone she does things like kissing with (!), so I guess she already considers me her boyfriend? I told her I can't move into a relationship situation that fast without knowing someone for a longer period of time and that for me, moving up the sexual activity ladder doesn't imply two people are in a relationship, but I failed to mention that I require intimacy before getting into a relationship, as many of the posters in this thread suggested. Had I said that, I could've made it clear what I want and that she's free to walk if she doesn't agree.

I wasn't sure what else to do at this point, so I took her to a mostly-secluded part of a park and fingered her, felt her boobs, and put her hand on my boner, then whipped it out, but I only got a little bit of handjob action. I know she enjoyed herself because she gave me no resistance as I did these things and let it go on for a while before we called it a night.

It's late for me and I want to go to bed to see how I feel in the morning, but my current thinking is to either forget about her because I lost the battle or give her a final chance with a date direct to my apartment. She's 25, Japanese (explains some of the cultural differences), fun to be around, and possibly mini-relationship material (though I can't be faithful), but I don't want to reward her bad behavior. I currently have two other girls on the side I fuck occasionally, but I prefer the company of this girl — for now, though my patience is thinning.

[Zoso]

(12-04-2018 12:35 PM)alphacentauri Wrote:  

I'm running into this now with a girl I just took on a third date. It feels like we're at an impasse: she wants the relationship before sex, but I want the sex before a (possible) relationship. I've always been able to seal the deal prior to the third date, so I'd like some advice.

Date 1: Time-constrained meet at a park (i.e., we both had plans afterwards). I got the kiss and hand-holding, but after the kiss, she starting asking me questions like "Are we dating?" and "I want to make sure you're not a playboy" and in general thought we're moving too fast. I was surprised but maintained my composure. We kissed more later, some initiated by her, and we parted on good terms.

Date 2: Met for drinks. I pushed for her to come to my place for a drink, but she again said it's too fast. We did some more kissing on this date, and I felt her up a bit both upstairs and downstairs without any resistance.

Date 3: Met for drinks near my place. I again asked her to come to my place with the usual bait that's worked for me in the past, and again she started up some stuff about this moving too fast and how she's worried I'm going to use her and never contact her again. I pried a bit and gleaned that this has happened to her in the past.

She then brought up how she would only go home with someone who's her boyfriend, and also said she considers a boyfriend someone she does things like kissing with (!), so I guess she already considers me her boyfriend? I told her I can't move into a relationship situation that fast without knowing someone for a longer period of time and that for me, moving up the sexual activity ladder doesn't imply two people are in a relationship, but I failed to mention that I require intimacy before getting into a relationship, as many of the posters in this thread suggested. Had I said that, I could've made it clear what I want and that she's free to walk if she doesn't agree.

I wasn't sure what else to do at this point, so I took her to a mostly-secluded part of a park and fingered her, felt her boobs, and put her hand on my boner, then whipped it out, but I only got a little bit of handjob action. I know she enjoyed herself because she gave me no resistance as I did these things and let it go on for a while before we called it a night.

It's late for me and I want to go to bed to see how I feel in the morning, but my current thinking is to either forget about her because I lost the battle or give her a final chance with a date direct to my apartment. She's 25, Japanese (explains some of the cultural differences), fun to be around, and possibly mini-relationship material (though I can't be faithful), but I don't want to reward her bad behavior. I currently have two other girls on the side I fuck occasionally, but I prefer the company of this girl — for now, though my patience is thinning.

It will depend how much effort are you willing to do. If you think make a LTR with her, or just a plate, or just a pump&dump.

I remember I had a gf aome years ago. She kissed me since first date, but resistance to bang after a month and a half. Good girl.
I was looking for a LTR. Did I tell her that? No, there was never any commitment from any of us. All the relationship and exclusivity was supposed/understood. What I did was being patient. It worked.
How did I know when to bang? I did wait till she started touching my dick when we were in the park. I concentrated in making out with her until she crave for sex. After that, she was the one craving for sex every date (because I used to play it hard due to a hotel room was not cheap for a student-parttime worker ).

In your position, I'd wait a bit more.

I encourage to lurkers here that many given advice here is more useful in anglosphere. In some cases, it won't apply. Don't rush the feeling. I'm not saying be a insecure pussie, just that in several cases girls want you to apply some slow game, and this may be convenient in order to have a LTR or LTPlate, being the opposite when the girl is from Tinder/bar/etc... there you need to go the fastest.

[lunchmoney]

I had this happen to me in my 20's, and foolishly took the bait and "committed". The bang wasn't worth the hassle, and later decomitted like a high school four star recruit from a college lol.

[Zoso]

Yes, all depends of what is he projecting.

[John Dodds]

(01-07-2015 02:36 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

I'm meeting a different woman tonight who has already told me the same thing. Is there a way to get around this obstacle or do I simply next all women who make this declaration?

Tell them no sex is OK, but they need to pay for the date.
Alternatively
Tell them you want to get married, bang them, then never see them again.