I been meaning to reply to this all week.
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
First girl was wearing a baseball cap pulled down with a pony tail. She was cute and had a retainer in her lower teeth. Had on sandles and tight black pants and some collared short sleeve shirt.
Sounds young-ish
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
She was about 23 -24. Looking at the computer how to books and standing. Earlier I had almost bumped into her as we rounded the corner and we kind of smiled at each other in another part of the store ( more smiling just being polite on a count of almost bumping into each other). she's tall about 5'8 with a medium build.
I walk beside her and pretend to look at a book for about a minute then
Me: Excuse me, is that a good book ( she was holding a few )
Her: This one?
Me- yeah the one on the Ipad.
her: I have no idea I haven't read it. I'm getting it for my grandma who just got an ipad.
she kind of started looking at books again.
I don't know what her tone was, but it's definitely stranger to stranger by the look of it.
A more direct approach
"OMG, you're reading that thick book on the iPad, you must be some super scientist"
(joking exaggeration meant to get her to play a long)
or
"i would have never taken you for a nerd, you hide it well." (some what of a neg, insult, cold read"
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
Note---whenever she gave a response to me...even though they were short and she wouldn't verbally offer anything as far as progressing the conversation or asking questions AND her eye contact was on/off....she had a smile on her face when responding. A "teeth showing" smile. ( when a girl smiles when you're talking to her does it necessarily mean anything or is it just mostly common politeness?)
You've read the situation correctly, she's not particularly interested in talking to you.
But a lot of approaching is dealing with uncomfortable social situations and interrupting her social programming. This is really where the game is played, where you pull a chick out of autopilot. The same thing will happen @ the bar or at the night club, but most guys full of liquid courage will often persist and ignore her instant lack of rapport.
Most guys wouldn't approach.
Of those that would approach, most would be brushed off by her brusqueness.
The ping style/the spam approach, is great for finding out who's immediately cooperating - but that's low level game, imo. It heavily relies on your appearance and energy level.
Sometimes that's all you need, in a crowded venue, but day game almost requires you to generate heat where there is none, because you don't have enough targets.
Goes back to the idea of whether you can make someone attracted to you.
Many guys in the game are actually denialists. For them, Game is far more about #'s of chicks approached correctly, than getting recalcitrant bitches to recognize the glory that is you.
Those that persist are on their way to becoming players though.
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
Me: Yeah...I asked because I'm trying to get ideas for my brother...he needs some how too technology books for some new things he got.
Her" My 6 year old niece will probably help my grandma with this ...my grandma doesn't know how to do anything.
Me> There's some good how to videos on youtube for the ipad.
Her: Oh...she doesn't know how to find youtube.
Me; are you going to help her any
Her: No...I'm too busy...my 6 year old niece can do that.
The whole time she'd look at me briefly and politely smile but quickly look back to scanning books.
Me: hmm, I was thinking of buying one of these 'how to for dummies' books for my brother as he's getting into graphic design. I heard they were a good series.
Her: I haven't read those.
Me: I read one on another subject...it's just the title can be a little condescending with the 'dummies' part.
Her: she smiles at that and nids then quickly goes back to scanning books.
Standard Ramble, which is appropriate for the day time session.
Indirect.
She didn't give you anything to work with, because she wasn't necessarily open to flirting.
In which case, after her somewhat neutral disposition, you could have went with a Hail Mary in terms of flirting and see if she was holding back.
So two options with a girl who doesn't open up for Indirect Rambling
1) start more direct/romantic minded/flirty from the beginning
2) interject more flirting when the dry stuff isn't sparking.
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
At that point....I just couldn't think of anything besides interview type questions...so I stood there looking at my book I grabbed. We both stood next to each other another 30 or so seconds and she walked away. As she was standing there I was thinking 'well she's still standing her...say something!'
If she has a lingering look, maybe she was just waiting for you to say the right words.
I tend to be optimistic, but look at it this way.
My attempts to chat this girl up, pulled her out of Grandma/Niece land, and back into "me getting my pussy stroked" land. And as you were pulling out, she was just starting to realize that she could take some Robreke dick, but you need to give her a reason.
In a situation like this, where you're on the tail end of an attempted pick up and it seems to be dead...but there's a flicker of life...HAIL MARY.
I'd rather go out in a blaze of glory (or in some cases store security pulling me out of the Cookbook section), than to wonder. The worst thing in the world is to wonder "if".
*she lingers*
*gives you the look*
After you're done, taking care of Granny, come find me, I've got a book that I know is PERFECT for you.
or
"i've really enjoyed this conversation" (obvious reframe)
"we should totally continue this"
....
However you typically set up your buying question, do it at the end when all hope is lost.
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
oh well...onto the 'seated girl'
In general, hard to pull a chick from a comfortable position.
Chicks like inertia.
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
I first spotted the seated girl walking around aimlessly looking for books and she finally went to the help employee and he started showing her around. I just waited on an aisle spying on her to stop and start looking at books. They actually came to my aisle and I pretended to read a book as they stood there but she obviously saw me. About 8 minutes later....I spotted her sitting down in another part of the store reading. I pretended to look at these cliff notes on a file rack ( the only thing by her) and she kind of looked up at me like she sensed I was hovering around which I didn't do but for a few seconds.
Take the bull by the horns and reframe.
This happens at the grocery store all the time. The way a store is set up, people start on the right, and then go through all the aisles until the hit the left.
Accuse her of following/stalking you. Even though it's the exact opposite.
"what's your deal?"
"what's your problem"
"are you stalking me"
"seems we like the same things"
"we keep running into each other, you should be more gracious and introduce yourself"
Think of something that fits you and your style, but this is an easy one.
If you live in one place for a while and go to the same sort of events, the chick you saw @ the Vegan Pottery Exhibition on Wednesday will be @ the Freegan Feastival on Saturday.
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
She's wearing a black long sleeve outfit with some kind of skirt and almost knee high black boots and has black hose or black skin tight exercise pants on. She's got long dark blonde hair. Anywhere from 18-22 years old. Tall and medium build ( I like girls with a little meat on them and not rail thin)
You like em young man. I see this girl as an employee or an intern.
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
Me: Is that a good book?
Her - ( She said something like yes or maybe even yes sir...it was low) It is so far...I just started. she kind of opened it to show me and started to look down again
Me: I'm looking for a book for my cousin. she's coming into town for a late Christmas and I need some good ideas. Is it a good author?
Her: she held the book up.
Me...oh..it's Gilian Flynn I've heard of her.
Her- yeah she did gone Girl.
Me: I heard that was a good movie. Have you seen it?
Her: Yes.
Me. did you like it?
Her...it was good
Good open.
Good ramble.
Good small bait.
She didn't bite.
Does she know that you're trying to flirt with her?
That's the question that comes to mind.
The 2nd question is, she does know, and she's not responding, so now what?
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
She was giving short answers and looking up at me with a semi smile and nervous eye contact....but rather sustained eye contact. A few times...I held eye contact for several seconds and she continued to look. I'd ask my question or statement...she'd respond to the questions then, look back down to her book.
She looks down at her book and keeps reading.
Her behavior can go either way, but always interpret positively.
Even when it's negative. Even when others might think you delusional. Unflappable.
You want that story in your mind that said, I totally talked to that chick, even though she hated me at first. Now, she's sitting in my bed reading her twitter feed.
I don't know if I've said this, but a lot of game is you fooling yourself, you giving yourself permission to talk to these chicks.
This world does so much to beat down a man's self image that he rarely tries to fly towards the sun anymore. Not to get all "woo woo", but when you start rejecting the way the world is framing you, you'll become more attractive to all.
Usually the leader of a situation, or an organization, the real leader, not the one with the title - is the person with the a vision that they themselves believe.
I see it all the time at work, where the boss and higher ups are gung ho as fuck about some thing they want us grunts to do. It fails more often than not, and it was obvious that it would - but the leaders of the group are unflappable and reframe every loss or mishap as learning experiences.
It's sickening on the one hand, but it's very enlightening on the other. These idiots have made so much money being wrong, I wonder how much I could make by being right.
As you get better with the convos, and your subconscious starts to recognize positive signs, not only will the words come easier, but the world view that you are an attractive man, that's banged enough chicks, that adding another one to your roster is simple.
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
Me after looking at the cliff notes another 15 seconds.
Me: Do you read the book before seeing the movie sometimes?
Her: yeah...sometimes.
Me...I do too. I always like the book better than the movies when I do that. I think it has to do with our minds being so much more creative and then the movie disappoints.
Her: yeah....our minds create the story.
Me: exactly.
after saying this with the same expression...she just goes back to reading. In retrospect...I guess I was a little lame in not dropping more bait for her to ask me anything as I was just making statements and asking her questions.
I continue to look at the cliff notes rack for about a minute and I am feeling awkward.
You gamed yourself out of the game.
Don't beat yourself up, it happens. I have my areas of strength, where I can't be touched. but in a new environment, a new task, I can self-talk myself out of giving my 100% and expecting the best. The proverbial self-fulfilling prophecy.
Quote: (01-03-2015 08:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
She's reading her book with her hand against her head as if to block me out.
Me: Well, good luck with the book ...( as I walk off)
Her: Thank you.
that's it.
The generic advice is that you need to persist until the chick leaves, but that's easier said than done. You have to push through socially uncomfortable barriers to do this sort of thing, but you don't start lifting weights with 500 lbs on the bar.
As a training device, you can use some old pick up tech, known as the "false time constraint"
You tell the chick that you've only got a sec, and then go into your rap. (which is less back and forth and dependent on her answering questions or giving you the go ahead)
So she's expecting it to be quick.
By your manner and demeanor you can alter her emotional state
"she's sitting down and reading"- so you need her to be more "up" than that situation lends itself to.
From there
- opinion opener
- story opener
- cold read
Whatever you like to open with.
And the second you get some positive feedback and you can flirt, do so.
If it goes well get her contact info, really well instadate.
If she brings up your friends, "OMG I totally forgot" and blame her for it. (which is what chicks do in that situation)
If it doesn't go well, and it may not, even with her change of state/mood. You've got your friends that are supposed to show up by the coffee shop. And you can exit.
The exit to your friends is more about keeping your mojo going than it is about her believing your lackeys are gonna be in front of the Starbucks.
WIA