[killongy]

I am really beckoning to the manosphere on the issue....this is beyond embarrassing for me to admit but....

Constant and excessive fapping has fucked up the sensitivity towards my manhood and reality to the point where life doesn't matter (not suicidal), women can go fk off and the the idea of just existing is satisfying enough.

My position in life has regressed to the fate of a piece of wood that's just goes wherever the current goes.

I dont want to seek interaction/sex with women anymore , I don't have a high notch count (6) 4 were girls that fell for my crappy game ,another 2 were chubby white women that were staying at the resort I used to work at.

I just go through the motions at my job.

Since I have increased fapping up to 3-4 times in an evening I have just felt a part of me slowly lose its shine , women barely notice me anymore.

The depressing thing is the usual porn does nothing for me. I look at regular porn and have to summon a great amount of will to just get a semi hard on and I have found myself watching weirder and weirder shit until I reached a point where I lost my boner having come the realization of just how weird the shit is that I have been watching.

The road I have taken , using porn to satisfy my sexual needs partly due to heavy seasonal rains fucking up my logistics. I gained 30 lbs over the months , my abs are gone i'm flabby as fuck and lost the motivation to go abroad and make some money over in Alberta along with my plan of self improvement.

Not to sound like a bitch but I feel hollow man...

I have been working on copywriting to create a location independent lifestyle but even thats fucked.

What can I really do?

[SupaDorkLooza]

(12-19-2014 02:10 AM)killongy Wrote:  

Since I have increased fapping up to 3-4 times in an evening I have just felt a part of me slowly lose its shine , women barely notice me anymore.

The depressing thing is the usual porn does nothing for me. I look at regular porn and have to summon a great amount of will to just get a semi hard on and I have found myself watching weirder and weirder shit until I reached a point where I lost my boner having come the realization of just how weird the shit is that I have been watching.

The road I have taken , using porn to satisfy my sexual needs partly due to heavy seasonal rains fucking up my logistics. I gained 30 lbs over the months , my abs are gone i'm flabby as fuck and lost the motivation to go abroad and make some money over in Alberta along with my plan of self improvement.

Not to sound like a bitch but I feel hollow man...

Porn is giving you Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction and also Killing your Mojo.

I had the same problem here's what you can do:

First you need to try to stop using porn so that your PIED doesn't get even worse.

Second buy a fleshlight (not one of the crazy textures) and use that to wank (without porn) instead of your hand. If its legal in your area I would go see a working girl once a week in order to see if you've rewired to real women yet. If you can't get fully erect to normal porn anymore its possible that you won't get be able to get aroused AT ALL to real live women, until you've 'rewired'.

If you can't stop using porn for more than a month then you are a porn addict that needs to 'detox'. I recommend that you cancel your home internet access if your desire to jerk off to porn always overpowers your desire to go out and meet bitches.

The difference between the way I feel when I was a porn addict and now is like the difference between the way I feel when I'm natty vs on steroids.

[sandman972]

You are in a funk and need to get out of it.

First thing you need : Change

You need to sit down this weekend and write down goals for yourself. Pick one for now, and work towards it.

I would create a fitness goal and accomplish it.

Hitting the gym is the first thing you should start doing. Your body releases endorphins when you workout and you feel good.

If you got the money, go take a week long vacation to the destination of your choice. Go bang some tourists where ever it is.

If its porn that is the catalyst to all these negative things, then do one simple thing : Stop watching porn. Now.

Tonight watch the movie Lone Survivor. Get a glimpse into some of the bravest warriors out there, and the shit they went through. How they never gave up. " Find an excuse to win"

If your city sucks, maybe its time to move? Find a city that excites you, start applying for a new job there, and work towards that.

There is no quick magic solution, but you need drastic change in your lifestyle, and maintaining the status quo wont bring about any sudden positive change.

The good thing is your are capable of changing it. Realize that this current state you are in does you no good, and you dont have to feel that way. Its totally up to you.

Hope this helps.

[Phoenix]

Further evidence that porn is functionally similar to drugs.

One cold turkey method you can use is to go on a trip somewhere where you just can't access porn. E.g. You don't bring a computer or smartphone, and there is no internet availability of any sort. Two weeks of that and your brain should revert back to normal. After that it's up to you not to touch it again.

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

I find I have to have the prospect of sex to resist fapping. For me that means P4P, or lowering my standards as necessary to get it in. This forum doesn't recommend P4P in general, and I respect that. Meeting women and getting them into bed because they want you is what it's all about.
However, you need willpower to resist the temptation. As has been said, fapping to porn is like a drug, and when the notion strikes you to fire up some porn, you need something else to look forward to.

If you've had trouble getting a hard on without porn, then you may get with a girl, and be unable to get it up, or be unable to cum from banging her. I've been through this. Just go without porn, wait a couple of days, and bang another chick, and keep going until you cum. I went a week and a half without cumming, and banged 4 chicks before I came at my worst. I'd get close to cumming, but the sensation of pussy wasn't doing it. I had to learn to take my mental arousal from a single human naked woman, rather than taking it from a stream of different video woman from all kinds of video angles, where I would fast forward to the best parts with every video clip. Real Woman > Video woman, but you have to retune your mind to get aroused by a real woman.

If you go without fapping to porn, and only cum from actual pussy (or blowjobs or anal), then your dick will readjust and you will start reaching greater and greater heights of sexual ecstasy from real sex, and you will feel greater and greater arousal from the sight of a naked tit, or the feel of her naked body touching you. Make sure not to even look at porn, and try to resist even fapping without porn. Let real naked women be your only sexual outlet. You will see a difference if you do this. A chubby butterface with the lights turned low is better than your hand and a flat video of another man banging some chick you can't touch.

So, make a plan to go without porn and bang anything that moves, so you can get a nut off from a real pussy, and then stick to it. Accept whatever level of quality it takes to be able to pipeline steady pussy multiple times per week, then when you start being able to cum reliably, work your way up in quality.

In the PUA world, it seems common to focus on pump and dumps, but I'd say if you want to have steady pussy, you need to look more towards spinning plates, so once you bang a chick, you keep on banging her, while always looking for new chicks. You don't want to be sitting through a two week dry spell while the porn is calling you. Make sure you have someone who will spread her legs, so you don't have to go without.

[Sonsowey]

Stop

[SupaDorkLooza]

(12-19-2014 03:04 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  

Further evidence that porn is functionally similar to drugs.

One cold turkey method you can use is to go on a trip somewhere where you just can't access porn. E.g. You don't bring a computer or smartphone, and there is no internet availability of any sort. Two weeks of that and your brain should revert back to normal. After that it's up to you not to touch it again.

I agree with Roast Beef go dumpster diving instead of reverting back to habitually wanking to internet porn.

[Hardy Daytona]

This video is extremely relevant to your situation and I highly recommend you watch it in its entirety.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

[Seth_Rose]

(12-19-2014 03:45 AM)RoastBeefCurtains4Me Wrote:  

I find I have to have the prospect of sex to resist fapping. For me that means P4P, or lowering my standards as necessary to get it in. This forum doesn't recommend P4P in general, and I respect that.

So every time he has the urge to jerk off he should spend hundreds of dollars? I understand your point, but it sounds like a recipe for disaster.

OP the first step to overcoming an addiction, which you have, is to recognize it. You're off to the right start. You know it's time for a change, but that's easier said than done. The most effective way to get rid of an addiction is to cut off the source. With the internet everywhere that's easier said than done but you can do it.

Install the K9 web filter on your computer and that will prevent you from watching any porn. For your phone just delete any web browser on there you don't need it. In fact, do your best to cut out internet usage as a whole.

"Idle hands are the devil's plaything."

Stay busy. Seriously this is so important. If you're grinding all day everyday you won't have time to stare at a screen with bimbos getting railed.

And finally shut off all internet access two hours before bed. Nothing productive happens then and I can guarantee no good will come from it.

Good luck and keep us updated as to your progress. We'll help keep you accountable.

[OGNorCal707]

(12-19-2014 03:45 AM)RoastBeefCurtains4Me Wrote:  

A chubby butterface with the lights turned low is better than your hand and a flat video of another man banging some chick you can't touch.

[Blunt]

Check out the nofap thread in lifestyle forum. Plenty of people have quit. Some probably had it as bad or worse than you.

All you have to do is survive for one day without it, and then do it again.

After a week the urge is smaller and a month even smaller. After two months your perspective will change and you wont quite understand what was so appealing about being hunched over your computer in a dark room.

This is also the time to start approaching. You may not feel like it in the first week or two but without consistently approaching and escalating with girls you wont stick with it.

[DumbfromBirth]

Find out what your passionate about. While I still fap everyday and know its unhealthy, I do it because it takes alot of effort where I live to get laid also it doesnt depress me but I know it drains my energy gotta reduce the frequency. Ideally you should decrease your fapping to once a week making it the same day if you are not getting laid. If your getting laid you should not have to fap at all and thats when life is good. You should stop watching porn completely if you can try going oldschool and looking at a womens magazine and batting

[killongy]

Thank you for the replies guys I have begun acting on some of the advice.

I got a gym membership cost is $40 a month no ac.

I was contemplating buying a fleshlight but I changed my mind and ordered Bang , 41 laws pf power , The juggler method , The manipulated man , Atlas shrugged and Economics in one lesson.

The urge is still there and last night I broke out in a cold sweat and could not even sleep so I just put on a movie then cooked some food for later in the day.

I tried some approaches on Saturday and was chatting up two girls but I lost steam then decided to go for a chubby early 20's accountant that was shopping in my local market.

Told her to meet me at a wine bar later and i'm kind of regretting it because my self respect is somewhat intact and I was close to canceling but I am going to follow the advice go for the bang and see where my libido is at.

Even though I make things sound optimistic , porn has done some real damage to my psyche I approached the girls not out of attraction but because I was following the advice , during the interactions I wanted to just go home and sleep or watch a movie.

Brazzers is going on my top list of regrets in Life or things I wish I had avoided.


Will keep updated

[Phoenix]

(12-22-2014 10:41 AM)killongy Wrote:  

Even though I make things sound optimistic , porn has done some real damage to my psyche I approached the girls not out of attraction but because I was following the advice , during the interactions I wanted to just go home and sleep or watch a movie.

Don't worry about that, it's not permanent - it'll fade back to normal. Good work, keep it up.

[Sonsowey]

Getting regular sex will definitely help man.

Do not worry what others think about the girl, worry about what you think. Is she cute enough that you want to fuck her? Would fucking her be better than porn?

Don't debase yourself in your own eyes, but don't worry if someone with years of experience in the game might not want the girl you're going after. You will work your way up later, no doubt, start wherever you have to start and grind it out.

I know right now I wouldn't touch the first girl I ever had sex with. But at the time I was more than willing.

[DumbfromBirth]

OP if shes fat or ugly it doesnt matter right now, satisfy your need and think of it as a funny story. I always enjoy when my mate tells me his stories of the gremlins he sleeps with. I respect guys that can bone anything for the fun of it. Its all about perspective.

[OGNorCal707]

I tend to alternate between quitting porn temporarily and then breaking down and bingeing on it excessively for a day or two. This thread inspired me to try to quit again recently and I think I made it 3-4 days which is good for me, but then I got too horny and trying to jerk it to the "memory bank" was doing it for me, and I just needed that "release" to "calm my nerves" from being on a dry spell and being horny.

It's probably stating the obvious, but when you're getting consistent sex looking at porn is easy not to do, and if anything maybe the cherry on top of the pussy you're already getting, but when you're on a bad dry spell and sex isn't easily attainable, porn can be really hard for me to avoid.

Sometimes I feel like I am a victim of my own libido and was almost about to start a thread on it. I swear sometimes I see a hot chick and it "hijacks my brain" and all I can think about is bending that fat ass in yoga pants over and slamming away. Today I saw a hot 18 year old chick in yoga pants with some epic camel toe and I was literally tortured, I couldn't stop thinking about getting on my knees and pulling her pants down to eat her pussy. I'm not saying I wish I didn't have a sex drive, but sometimes I'd like to get through the day without having my mind completely focused on pussy.

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

I was married for almost 25 years. There was a period when I was in my early 40's where I considered it a relief that my sex drive had gone down. I remembered being so frustrated in my 20's and 30's wanting to fuck my wife, and her turning me down. I'd be irritable, if not downright filled with seething, long term anger. We'd have sex 3-5 times a month, during a good portion of this time, but this meant I want only getting about a third the sex I wanted, and I'd be laying in bed next to her at night wanting to get laid, and not getting any.
At least during this time she was a good lay when I did get some. She later turned into a complete starfish, and would turn me down more like 9 times out of 10. It's disgusting to think about now.

Anyway, like I said, I reached a point where I was glad to have my sex drive go away, because I had some peace from the burning frustration.

Time passed, and I started working out and doing a low carb diet, and one day, I was flirting with some chick at a bar, and found out I was horny as hell. I was filled with lust in a way that I had almost forgotten. Obviously testosterone played a big role in this story, but my focus is on the feeling of having a strong libido vs. having my libido drop very low.

Now I love having a strong sex drive. I remember not having it, and I never want to go back. I worry if I feel a lapse in horniness. I would recommend enjoying your high libido, and just make sure to line up enough pussy to be able to keep your balls drained. Don't wish it away. It's like being only half alive.

[ColSpanker]

RBC: How long have you been divorced?

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

(12-24-2014 10:49 AM)ColSpanker Wrote:  

RBC: How long have you been divorced?

2 years. I only mention it as background for saying there was a time when I was happy to have lost a lot of my natural sex drive. Actually, I still used porn, which was part of the problem. However, now that I have it back, I realize how wrong I was. I see how much I was missing.

Also, having a strong sex drive was a source of frustration to the point of misery when I was younger, even when I was getting at least some pussy. Now I'm prepared to do what it takes to get laid often enough to satisfy me, and I really like having a strong drive. I never want to lose it again, or I at least want to put off the inevitable decline as long as possible.

[pitt]

Read how to control alcohol by Allen Carr, I know your addiction is not alcohol but this book will help you overcome any type of addiction. Highly recommend it.

Also, avoid staying at home for long periods, hit the library and start doing some heavy reading on the daily basis. Travel to a country where women are known as being super easy and where the cost of living is pretty low and live a very active sex life till you can't take it any more.

If you can, the next girl you bang, try to have a serious relationship with her, this way, you will always have someone to be fucking.

[Vitriol]

(12-24-2014 02:50 AM)RoastBeefCurtains4Me Wrote:  

I was married for almost 25 years. There was a period when I was in my early 40's where I considered it a relief that my sex drive had gone down. I remembered being so frustrated in my 20's and 30's wanting to fuck my wife, and her turning me down. I'd be irritable, if not downright filled with seething, long term anger. We'd have sex 3-5 times a month, during a good portion of this time, but this meant I want only getting about a third the sex I wanted, and I'd be laying in bed next to her at night wanting to get laid, and not getting any.
At least during this time she was a good lay when I did get some. She later turned into a complete starfish, and would turn me down more like 9 times out of 10. It's disgusting to think about now.

Anyway, like I said, I reached a point where I was glad to have my sex drive go away, because I had some peace from the burning frustration.

Time passed, and I started working out and doing a low carb diet, and one day, I was flirting with some chick at a bar, and found out I was horny as hell. I was filled with lust in a way that I had almost forgotten. Obviously testosterone played a big role in this story, but my focus is on the feeling of having a strong libido vs. having my libido drop very low.

Now I love having a strong sex drive. I remember not having it, and I never want to go back. I worry if I feel a lapse in horniness. I would recommend enjoying your high libido, and just make sure to line up enough pussy to be able to keep your balls drained. Don't wish it away. It's like being only half alive.

This is fucking depressing, but it serves as a great warning to the guys on the forum who want to get married. Marriage is NOT a gateway to consistent sexual relief. I guess the answer is to keep your dick jumping out of your pants as long as possible (through diet, exercise, etc.) and trying to fuck everything that moves.

[pitt]

(12-27-2014 11:56 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  

(12-24-2014 02:50 AM)RoastBeefCurtains4Me Wrote:  

I was married for almost 25 years. There was a period when I was in my early 40's where I considered it a relief that my sex drive had gone down. I remembered being so frustrated in my 20's and 30's wanting to fuck my wife, and her turning me down. I'd be irritable, if not downright filled with seething, long term anger. We'd have sex 3-5 times a month, during a good portion of this time, but this meant I want only getting about a third the sex I wanted, and I'd be laying in bed next to her at night wanting to get laid, and not getting any.
At least during this time she was a good lay when I did get some. She later turned into a complete starfish, and would turn me down more like 9 times out of 10. It's disgusting to think about now.

Anyway, like I said, I reached a point where I was glad to have my sex drive go away, because I had some peace from the burning frustration.

Time passed, and I started working out and doing a low carb diet, and one day, I was flirting with some chick at a bar, and found out I was horny as hell. I was filled with lust in a way that I had almost forgotten. Obviously testosterone played a big role in this story, but my focus is on the feeling of having a strong libido vs. having my libido drop very low.

Now I love having a strong sex drive. I remember not having it, and I never want to go back. I worry if I feel a lapse in horniness. I would recommend enjoying your high libido, and just make sure to line up enough pussy to be able to keep your balls drained. Don't wish it away. It's like being only half alive.

This is fucking depressing, but it serves as a great warning to the guys on the forum who want to get married. Marriage is NOT a gateway to consistent sexual relief. I guess the answer is to keep your dick jumping out of your pants as long as possible (through diet, exercise, etc.) and trying to fuck everything that moves.

Why would anybody stay in a marriage for 25 years when you are not getting consistent sex? Before you marry her you should be able to tell if you will get consistent sex and if you are married and you are not getting consistent sex, that bitch is gone. Simple as that.

Don't blame the bitch, blame the player.

[booksarefun666]

I always thought those nofap people were crazy and were just in a giant circlejerk about not jerking it until I'm seeing examples of this in places that aren't directly affiliated with them. Does anyone else have this problem and can attest to this kind of thing? I'm starting to think they were right all along.

[Fortis]

Move to china and you can't even google or look at porn. That should solve your problem really quick.