[SlickyBoy]

On a related note to a habit of cheating on prior boyfriends - if you somehow find out that her mom cheated on dad, this is behavior imprinted exactly the same way that an abusive man learned how to be that way by watching dad beat mom.

I found this out the hard way (or maybe it was the easy way) when I dumped a girl who told me early in the relationship that her mother had an affair with some guy she got into fender bender with back when she was a teenager. She even suggested her dad touched her funny, but there were no tattoos, drug addictions, blacking out, etc. But then when I gave her the lid, she came out minutes later with the "I cheated on you during my semester abroad" (yeah, I know - big surprise). Yeah, in her mind it was my fault she cheated - head case.

Had I not chosen to dump her and kept on going I may have wifed her up. Who knows how many other dicks would have hit the staging area before the bachelorette party?

Moral of the story is find out what you can, even in stages through indirect questioning if you have to - her past is NOT irrelevant and you don't want to be the last dick in a 50 man gang bang over several years.

[WestIndianArchie]

(12-19-2014 05:27 AM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

Moral of the story is find out what you can, even in stages through indirect questioning if you have to - her past is NOT irrelevant and you don't want to be the last dick in a 50 man gang bang over several years.

So true.

If you marry a chick that's banged 50, chances are you won't be the last man to stick your dick in her.

WIA

[bewater]

Oh man, wish I had seen this thread 2-3 years ago.

My ex had so many red flags you presented here, but my beta and unexperienced self didn't wanted to see.

- she was controlling, manipulative, picks fight for every shit, she always thinks I don't respect her when I don't agree with her
- she doesn't have a father since 5
- I caught her lying about 20-30 times in 3 years and she never admitted even with proof, if it was an old subject and I presented the evidence, she said she forgot(bullshit) as the last resort
- she flirted with guys in front of me, smiling at them and if I call on it, gets crazy that I'm paranoid....later(a few months when drunk) admitted that she flirted with the guy to see if she still can
- eye fucks guys in clubs in front of me
- if a guy is hot and started to talk to her and she thinks I'm not there, she keeps talking and let him do his game, even more, once she approached a guy(I saw she eye fucked a guy and I said i'm going to the bathroom but I wasn't.....she goes directly to that guys asking for light)
- everything she does for me it's like a transaction...what I will do back for her
- she won't do bjs(did only on the first few months to catch me after a lot of convincing, she was good at it - so I know she has exp - but she said she'll do only for her husband), i'm pretty sure she'll suck like hell her new bf if he's alpha enough....i wasn't
- she was submissive only in the first 3 months of relationship
- sometimes when it's very very angry gets crazy and hits on me with her fists, i didn't care but now I'm WTF???
- since I'm skinny, she always tested my strength......I need to get to the gym. I'm 100% sure the next guy will be very fit to make her feel dominated physically. I also didn't do well in bed...I had severe ED in our first months. I also have some now in some positions. I also remember she said I was bad in bed somewhere in the first year.
- when I tried once to read some deleted messages, she got crazy like hell, how can I violate her intimacy.
- she always seeks validation from other men
- she didn't do what I ask her if something is just to please me and she won't get anything in return
- she doesn't even shows signs of physical attraction unless I escalate physically quite a lot(sucking tits, rubbing). At first, she got really horny when I kissed her neck or touched her v...after a year or so, she doesn't even let me rub her if is not ready for sex
- lately, when drunk, she was touching her boss chest in front of me...she also told me there are so many guys better than me(that's when we broke up)


Even so she's very hot (which is the main reason i put up with this bullshit, thinking I won't find any girl hotter than her), I can't believe how stupid, beta and in love I was with her to accept all this shit.

[SlickyBoy]

^jesus, dude - if shes still in your life, abandon ship at once. Hell, if you do that she'll probably try to follow you - it'll be her first lesson in your new outlook: Zero. Fucks. Given.

[bewater]

(01-26-2015 07:16 AM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

^jesus, dude - if shes still in your life, abandon ship at once. Hell, if you do that she'll probably try to follow you - it'll be her first lesson in your new outlook: Zero. Fucks. Given.

yea, i know, but I still care about her. I was once broke up with her 6 months ago and on the 3rd week I contacted her back. The first weeks were ok, but starting the 3rd one I started to be like a trash....couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, i was thinking on her all the time. Fuck that one-itis. Now I need to pass that 3-4 weeks mark and I think it will be ok.

[SlickyBoy]

Doesn't sound like she cares about you. Good luck.

[olspice1588]

I'll add my own:

A girl is bent over the word "slut" more than being a cheater.

I had an ex who repeatedly cheated on her previous bf who called her a slut cuz of it. "I know I cheated, but he shouldn't EVER call me a slut," she would shout or cry. I was gonna pump and dump this sloot, so I went, "Yeah, you're totally right."

On a sidenote, this chick kept a list of her conquests in a Word Doc that she wouldn't let me see. I was lucky #16, but that number has probably doubled by now.

[OGNorCal707]

On the topic of cheating, be extremely weary of girls who acknowledge or talk about their friends cheating, but act like it's not a big deal or they aren't doing anything wrong. Even if your girl criticized her friend for cheating, feel out how genuine she is about saying it, if she's just saying it because you express disapproval, then she's probably just telling what you want to hear to cover her own ass.

Birds of a feather flock together, if a girl's friends are sluts that says a lot about her and her morals. If her friend is cheating, but your girl makes a bunch of rationalizations like "her boyfriend wasn't there for her, or they were apart for a month and it just happened", then she'll pull the same shit and use the same rationalizations on you.

[bewater]

(01-26-2015 03:40 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

On the topic of cheating, be extremely weary of girls who acknowledge or talk about their friends cheating, but act like it's not a big deal or they aren't doing anything wrong. Even if your girl criticized her friend for cheating, feel out how genuine she is about saying it, if she's just saying it because you express disapproval, then she's probably just telling what you want to hear to cover her own ass.

Birds of a feather flock together, if a girl's friends are sluts that says a lot about her and her morals. If her friend is cheating, but your girl makes a bunch of rationalizations like "her boyfriend wasn't there for her, or they were apart for a month and it just happened", then she'll pull the same shit and use the same rationalizations on you.

^This.

When a (male)friend of my was cheated and he talked about how hard was for him to get over, like he cried and stuff.....the first thing my ex and her (ex)slut gf asked was: why the bff of this guy's ex revealed the cheating to him.

So that's the first thing you ask when somebody complains about a cheater?

Another thing was with one of her co-workers male who is cheating his fiance. She complains how this guy can do that, but when I asked what about another of her co-worker(girl now) cheating on his bf, she didn't say anything. I know one of her friends called her on that.

[Dantes]

Listen to how girls speak about their family and friends. It says a lot when they disparage the people with whom they are close with. They may not always speak this way in front of a man. Listen to how they speak of other people when they are talking to their friends.

[tallandblonde]

If a girl ever sympathizes with her female friends/coworkers/other acquaintances about cheating, it's likely she's not entirely against it if she were to be dating you. One argument and she'll likely be riding your neighbors dick, and then come back saying it's your fault.

[ChazKGB]

(12-14-2014 04:57 PM)ChrisPitts Wrote:  

(12-14-2014 04:11 PM)tallandblonde Wrote:  

(12-14-2014 04:06 PM)LouEvilSlugger Wrote:  

- Divorced parents
- Social media presence
- Travels to fuckfest locations ie resorts in Jamaica and Mexico
- Guy/girl ratio in her social circle
- Tattoos/piercings

So which ratio is bad? Is it a red flag for you when she has lots of male friends? Or no male friends at all?

Major red flag if she has a majority of male friends over female friends. Or no female friends at all. All those thirsty simps are there because they want to get into her pants and feed her validation quota for the day/week. She tolerates it because it's a win-win situation for her: she gets all the attention and doesn't have to pay out (i.e. sex). Chicks like that are not willing to put time/investment into a man because, hell, why would she? Someone else is always right there who, chances are, will make more of an investment in her, or tolerate more of her BS. These kinds of chicks really don't see reality until they hit the wall, and their well of guy friends dry up.

Other major red flags for me:
Heavy use of sarcasm
Bad style (not dressing feminine)
Trying to act like one of the guys
Glued to iphone/facebook/twitter.

Girl who have too many guys in their circle will only be after a male feminist. You won't be happy with that woman, and chances are, she is boring sexually. I guess you can fake being a male feminist to notch that.

[Remington]

- Girl who has gotten an abortion
- Extreme Narcissism (ex girlfriend told me that she masturbated while she looked at herself in the mirror)
- Always glued to social media (twitter, instagram, facebook)
- Lives with her parents
- Not a fan of sex
- No concept of money
- Expecting to be put on a pedestal

[bewater]

Another thing is take care what your friends and others say about her past. They all warned me but I wouldn't care, thinking that she changed, past is irrelevant or many were just rumours.

I think the biggest problem for guys is lack of experience with women. I was a stupid kid which fell in the lap of a much experienced hot girl. She lied and manipulated me thinking she is extremely honest. Each time I call on her lies she got very mad, how can I say she is a liar, how can I accuse her of something like that.....even when I had proofs.

Many times I admit that I was jealous for nothing, maybe paranoid in some cases, but there were cases so clear of her flirting with other guys and telling me I'm paranoid. Each time I accused her of something "you are paranoid". That thing messed with my head and each time I saw something off, I doubt myself.

I can't believe right now that I stayed in such relationship for the last 3 years, just because she was hot and I was a stupid beta.

[rdvirus]

The 18 year old stripper with 2 miscarriages under her belt. She was fit but came across a little crazy. Decided to steer clear..

At that age.. a recent abortion or miscarriage is a write off for me, let alone 2.

[Ingocnito]

(12-14-2014 05:15 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Make one column and title it "Red Flags for LTR Girls"

Make another column and title it " Green Lights for ONS, Fuck Buddy, Weekend Fling, BJ in Bar Toilet Girls"

Make your list under each column of everything you can think of.

You will find that you can swap the titles of the columns and your lists will still be accurate.

The church spoken right there.

[SlickyBoy]

The practice of keeping their own little word doc of the dicks (dick doc - hey, I just coined that!) they've had is much more common than most people realize.

[bradz]

Are you looking for red flags regarding somebody worth dating? or fucking? Most of these sound like things I'm looking for in a slut, oops I mean girl.

[blacknwhitespade]

-single mom-raised
-has more than one tattoo or an odd piercing
-weighs more than I can bench
-hangs out with friends I don't like
-has a master's degree or higher
-recently "rediscovered" her church/faith
-refuses to accept my firm offer to pay for her coffee/tea on the first date
-attempts to cancel/re-arrange dates on me, tells me where to meet her
-addicted to social media
-uses foul language
-owns a little dog that she carries in a pouch on her hip

More to come later...

[vinman]

Social media. Most women use it to get likes. They feed the thirst. If the thirst is too high punch out. If they dump it suddenly be suspicious. I'll just leave this here.....

   

[lemko]

(12-15-2014 12:25 PM)Old Fritz Wrote:  

She tells me she was raped or that her ex was "abusive". The last several women
I spoke to (some of whom were over thirty) felt the need to tell me this for some reason. They were all sluts too.

I had a girl tell me something similar to this on a second date, i.e. she was "attacked" when she went out with some guy. Needless to say, there was no third date. I don't need to deal with damaged goods or drama. Life is way too short for that.

[CleanSlate]

From my personal experience (I recently filed for divorce):

- single mom
- broken family background (adopted / or has divorced parents / or endured abuse, etc)
- doesn't get along with her parents
- doesn't have much extended family
- an attitude that is less than "family is the MOST important thing to me"
- has a history of cheating
- has slept with more than 5-10 people
- personality changes when she has more than 3-4 drinks
- is on antidepressants or anxiety medications (peek into her medical cabinet, and if you see an AD, run!)
- is moody or has untreated depression (do you feel melancholy in her company? if so, RUN)
- manipulative, or tries constantly to force her frame on you
- plays the damsel in distress
- is a perfectionist or extremely hard on herself (she will be on you if you stay with her!)
- is a teacher or has a low paying occupation with little future upside (trust me on this one)
- if under an 8, she is the hottest girl in her social circle, and/or has fat friends
- gets along with guys better than she gets along with girls
- has a "Nice Girl" syndrome and uses "covert contracts" (does something nice to someone and expecting something in return)
- your own confidence and self-esteem decreases little by little the more time you spend with her (again, RUN before it gets worse!)
- is a spender (has big eyes when she shops or eats out, tries to live a bigger lifestyle than she can afford)
- uses what you have shared with her previously against you in a shit-test, debate, or argument

Some of these red flags are important only if you are looking for an LTR (like whether she gets along with her parents or has extended family), but there are some of these that are just not worth even a single lay.

[rebelofbabyloin]

crazy eyes

[Bizet]

- Claims she was "raped" (but the guy who raped her isn't in jail for whatever reason).
- Claims to have been in an abusive relationship.
- If she's addicted to drugs.
- If she's addicted to her smartphone.
- If she values a career or traveling over having children.
- If she has a slutty past.

I'm talking about relationship red flags here. My only red flag when it comes to pumping and dumping is the rape thing.

[GeroMeroHero]

Neon hair.

If there is such a thing as a partial red flag (not a red flag on its own but in the presence of others it is): obnoxious trendy clothing.
Like fake hipster glasses, uggs, clothing for boys.