I feel so disgusted with myself right now.
I was at the gym this afternoon doing my squat sets when I was asked by a woman how many I had left. I told her before resuming my rest and completing the last one.
Afterwards she was doing some very strange 'exercises' on the bench - lying on her back and doing some kind of inverted leg press.
Anyway, it was the perfect opportunity to open. Providence, Fate or God or whatever you want to call it dumped a chance in my lap. And what did I so?
I pussied out like a goddamn champion.
So many things I could have done, should have done.
And I had absolutely no excuse not to. But I still did.
The fear just overcame me. I couldn't walk towards her. I don't know why, I just couldn't. And it doesn't make any sense!
Was she some kind of supernatural being that could have snuffed out my existence with the twitch of a finger? No.
Was she a mind-reader who could have seen through my approach? No.
Was she surrounded by an entourage of other men actively discouraging any potentials? No.
She was just a woman - nothing more. And I was afraid.
The worst part is that the circumstances were absolutely ideal - I was on a testosterone high after not fapping for a week and I'd set a new personal best lifting a few days ago.
I feel like such a fraud, like a beta in alpha clothing. Sure, I can dress the part, look the part and read the material but put me in the field and I fold faster than Superman on laundry day.
I was at the gym this afternoon doing my squat sets when I was asked by a woman how many I had left. I told her before resuming my rest and completing the last one.
Afterwards she was doing some very strange 'exercises' on the bench - lying on her back and doing some kind of inverted leg press.
Anyway, it was the perfect opportunity to open. Providence, Fate or God or whatever you want to call it dumped a chance in my lap. And what did I so?
I pussied out like a goddamn champion.
So many things I could have done, should have done.
And I had absolutely no excuse not to. But I still did.
The fear just overcame me. I couldn't walk towards her. I don't know why, I just couldn't. And it doesn't make any sense!
Was she some kind of supernatural being that could have snuffed out my existence with the twitch of a finger? No.
Was she a mind-reader who could have seen through my approach? No.
Was she surrounded by an entourage of other men actively discouraging any potentials? No.
She was just a woman - nothing more. And I was afraid.
The worst part is that the circumstances were absolutely ideal - I was on a testosterone high after not fapping for a week and I'd set a new personal best lifting a few days ago.
I feel like such a fraud, like a beta in alpha clothing. Sure, I can dress the part, look the part and read the material but put me in the field and I fold faster than Superman on laundry day.