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The problem is a lack of DESIRE
#1

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

I recently met up with a forum member. He said his problem was escalation, he need to learn how to escalate. After watching him in action, I said your problem may not be learning how to escalate BUT wanting to escalate. You may not be picking women that you are really attracted to. After thinking about it, he said I may have a point. Turns out, like most of us, this guy was really only attracted to a particular race and type of women. Like him, this is also my biggest problem. I don't find the masculine vibe of American girls sexually attractive. While they may look fine, once I start interact with them I lose sexual interest because they start coming across as manly. Very few of us have a WIDE sexual attraction range like the top players. Most of us actually have a very narrow and particular sexual attraction range.

So, our problem a lot of the time is not a lack of game skill or knowledge BUT the motivation to execute. Without the sexual drive to bang a girl which comes from a strong sexual desire for her most of us won't have the motivation to put in the work required. Why would we if we don't even really desire the outcome? Now if the girl makes it easy sure, most of us will do it but that is only going to happen if the girl is really into us for some reason. To achieve anything of greatest in life requires a great deal of motivation. You want to bang 10 girls it's going to take a lot of work and if you really don't desire those girls it's going to take even more work and it's going to be work you don't really enjoy or look forward to. You want to bang a HB 8 it's going to take some work but if for some reason you don't find that HB 8 really sexually attractive then it's going to be even more work.

A lot of guys on here are doing a lot of things for their ego and to be able to boost to other guys that they have done it. And there is nothing wrong with that. But when you truly desire a woman, you will naturally want to escalate and a lot of things will just fall into place. The women I have the most difficult time with are the ones I am not that really attracted to and I have a feeling that may be the case for this guy and lot of other others too. If your game skills is the type of car you drive then DESIRE is the gas in it. You can have the best car in the world but without any gas you aren't going to be going very far. And from the approach to the bedroom is a long drive, most of the time, for most of us.
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#2

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

Quote: (12-01-2014 07:54 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

I recently met up with a forum member. He said his problem was escalation, he need to learn how to escalate. After watching him in action, I said your problem may not be learning how to escalate BUT wanting to escalate. You may not be picking women that you are really attracted to. After thinking about it, he said I may have a point. Turns out, like most of us, this guy was really only attracted to a particular race and type of women. Like him, this is also my biggest problem. I don't find the masculine vibe of American girls sexually attractive. While they may look fine, once I start interact with them I lose sexual interest because they start coming across as manly. Very few of us have a WIDE sexual attraction range like the top players. Most of us actually have a very narrow and particular sexual attraction range.

So, our problem a lot of the time is not a lack of game skill or knowledge BUT the motivation to execute. Without the sexual drive to bang a girl which comes from a strong sexual desire for her most of us won't have the motivation to put in the work required....

That's why the most prolific Players I know have an off-the-charts testosterone level. Also many abdicate porn sooner or later, because that pent up sexual pressure will then move towards the field of conquest.

Also picking the right kind of girl as you have said correctly has a lot do to with it. It reminds me of one quote that I read in of the books of our world's real scientific elite. He said something in the line, that they (the true movers and shakers) will make the females so masculine and unattractive that the males will not desire them. He spoke about the means on how to attain it - food (toxins in food which change the body properties especially during pregnancy & early childhood - BPAs, BPS, are known to do this apart from other things), the needle & propaganda. Feminism has the propaganda part down pat - first women wanting to become more masculine in behavior and professions chosen, then cutting their hair & getting tattoos and finally calling every obese monster beautiful.

Who among us wants that?
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#3

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

^ Who do you mean by "our world's real scientific elite"?
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#4

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

It should also be noted that lack of desire doesn't just come into play in regards to escalation, it could be an issue in all phases.

For example, last night I had a dance teacher that was practically begging to come over. German chick, great facial features with a dancers body. She was mentioning how show would clean my apartment wearing a maids outfit.

I just didn't have the desire. It was exhausted from the holidays and what not. My bed was more tempting than that new pussy.

God'll prolly have me on some real strict shit
No sleeping all day, no getting my dick licked

The Original Emotional Alpha
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#5

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

Quote: (12-01-2014 11:38 AM)Blobert Wrote:  

^ Who do you mean by "our world's real scientific elite"?

That depends on whether you believe that the world in the recent centuries have been steered by a cooperating global financial and scientific elite or by a bunch of bumbling politicians with a few money influences.

I - just as former Stanford Professor and CFR historian Carroll Quigley - think that the first perception makes more sense and can be observed when you study the real things happening around the world. Plenty of biographies of the movers and shakers back this up. But I don't want to hijack the thread and it is of no consequence really whether we are ruled by corrupt morons or super-competent super-wealthy Psychopaths. The end results are the same.

Reading the books of Carroll Quigley with an open mind may give some understanding on the issue. If not, then it does not matter - CNN can give you all the infos you need.

http://www.amazon.com/Carroll-Quigley/e/B000APY59M
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#6

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

@Antitrace Very true, it impact all stages. There is a fairly attractive Russian girl that keeps asking me out but for some reason I don't find her sexually attractive but other guys I show her photo to do. Our desire drives the whole interaction from start to finish. While working out, quiting porn, etc. can increase our general sex drive it cannot make us sexually attracted to a girl we are not attracted to. If you want to know the state of your sex drive, get close to a girl you are really attracted to and see how you feel.
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#7

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

Quote: (12-01-2014 11:58 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

@Antitrace Very true, it impact all stages. There is a fairly attractive Russian girl that keeps asking me out but for some reason I don't find her sexually attractive but other guys I show her photo to do. Our desire drives the whole interaction from start to finish. While working out, quiting porn, etc. can increase our general sex drive it cannot make us sexually attracted to a girl we are not attracted to. If you want to know the state of your sex drive, get close to a girl you are really attracted to and see how you feel.

[Image: park-boner.jpg]
It is safe to assume that this girl passed his boner test.

I've had that too - some women around the 6-7 range are greatly boner-inducing to me, while others in the 8-9 category leave me cold. Only few guys I know who can literally fuck anything.
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#8

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

Quote: (12-01-2014 11:58 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

@Antitrace Very true, it impact all stages. There is a fairly attractive Russian girl that keeps asking me out but for some reason I don't find her sexually attractive but other guys I show her photo to do. Our desire drives the whole interaction from start to finish. While working out, quiting porn, etc. can increase our general sex drive it cannot make us sexually attracted to a girl we are not attracted to. If you want to know the state of your sex drive, get close to a girl you are really attracted to and see how you feel.

Yep. Some girls in my life I have fucked 6+ times in a day, and still wanted more. Some girls I only get the urge to fuck twice. Some once. Some every few days.

Some girls I will move mountains for (is this beta?), some girls I will barely lift a finger for.

All things being equal, the only difference between these girls is my desire. They may hit my particular forte (petite blondes), or they may not.

Desire can't be faked or forced. You either desire a girl, or you don't. And once you have enough experience under your belt, your %chance of the bang is closely tied to your level of desire.

God'll prolly have me on some real strict shit
No sleeping all day, no getting my dick licked

The Original Emotional Alpha
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#9

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

Escalation is a two way street. She has to want to be turned on. You could try getting her alone and both getting liquored up. Loosens up the inhibitions a little.

Team Nachos
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#10

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

Quote: (12-01-2014 10:32 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

That's why the most prolific Players I know have an off-the-charts testosterone level. Also many abdicate porn sooner or later, because that pent up sexual pressure will then move towards the field of conquest.

yes can't agree more... it's not that reading thousands of books and articles will improve game but it will come naturally

women can feel and are attracted to males with higher testosterone and man with higher testosterone are more confident etc etc etc that's a proven scientific fact. No matter how many books and articles and forum posts someone read if there is no desire that does not matter at all, no matter how good is car tuned if there is no gas in it won't go, the gas is testosterone [Image: biggrin.gif]
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#11

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

I'm more picky the less time has elapsed since my last nut. Not having blasted a nut in 3-5 days and alcohol is a dangerous situation for some guys [Image: banana.gif]
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#12

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

This is very true for me and I concur with the fact that it's especially relevant with American women. They just aren't that feminine anymore and half the time I feel like I'm dealing with a man. And most don't feel that they "need a man" and thus aren't into me or any guy who shows interest in them i.e. you are way down on their list of priorities. Who wants to deal with or date that?

Anyway, I'm back home for a bit now for the holidays and am basically shutting it down mostly bc practically no women here motivate me. The few I have seen that do have of course been foreign. It's like there's something in the water that's making American women more and more masculine.

Meanwhile I have one girl from Ukraine who's texting me constantly saying nice things, promising to cook me dinner when I return and genuinely being interested in everything I do. I realize a lot of that is bs and she's just trying to "hook" me but it sure beats being the 6th or 7th rung on the list for some narcissistic fatty with vocal fry.....

2015 RVF fantasy football champion
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#13

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

This is something I've thought about before. Right on.

I used to have escalation anxiety a short time ago, given I did only start becoming more proficient at game more recently.

I figured out that I had (and still do) have more escalation anxiety with girls I find less attractive. If I am doing it 'for the notch' and the girl is only decent to me, I'm actually more nervous to escalate and I make more mistakes. However, when I greatly desire the girl, she is more attractive to me, there is strong sexual tension and chemistry, escalation is very natural and my game is on point.

The same principle works for approaches in my experience.

Approaching a hot girl can take more effort to combat hesitation, but once I do, I find I am at ease and my game steps up. Approach a merely decent girl however, I make more mistakes in conversation, I am more conscious of my body language, I'm more self conscious.

It's a weird thing to explain. Surely I am not the only one? If I can sum it up in a sentence with regards to approaching hotter girls: it's more 'approach anxiety' but once you actually start the interaction you do better than if you had approached a merely decent girl. I feel like it's an autopilot feeling you can relax as you shut off distractions in your mind (am I doing this properly, are people watching me) and focus on getting to know her, making a quick connection, and going for the close.
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#14

The problem is a lack of DESIRE

Quote: (12-03-2014 04:06 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

...
The same principle works for approaches in my experience.

Approaching a hot girl can take more effort to combat hesitation, but once I do, I find I am at ease and my game steps up. Approach a merely decent girl however, I make more mistakes in conversation, I am more conscious of my body language, I'm more self conscious.

It's a weird thing to explain. Surely I am not the only one? If I can sum it up in a sentence with regards to approaching hotter girls: it's more 'approach anxiety' but once you actually start the interaction you do better than if you had approached a merely decent girl. I feel like it's an autopilot feeling you can relax as you shut off distractions in your mind (am I doing this properly, are people watching me) and focus on getting to know her, making a quick connection, and going for the close.

I am the same - with girls less attractive to me I see that I catch myself that I hardly escalate at all. I found that I literally had to force myself to touch her and move forward.

I do better with girls I am truly into, because even if she rejects me in the end, she is worth the trouble.
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