[colombiano972]

I´ve been in various situations whether it be language exchange meetups or meetups that have a lot mixed sets that there will be a chick that I like but other guys competing to hook up with them. What are some good pieces of advice to dominate those type of settings and just flat out beat the competition?

[XXL]

I attend similar meetups.

- talk to many girls at once ie you chat up one girl then as You're talking you chat up random girl near you pull her in and engage her in that conversation. basically social proof for the win

- don't limit yourself to classic get to know topics or stuff related to that context. talk about random stuff. ask girls what they want to get on Christmas cause you're from far far away and you're best friends with Santa clause's elfs so you can make her wish list higher priority etc. mix fun stuff with normal convo.

- be center of attention. hold the court. be more loud. sit in the middle of group.

- befriend guys. i find them rather weak and wimp. if you come in strong [body language voice presence] they turn into spectators. then it's the best time to bring them back in the game by engaging them in your convo. be normal logical with guys and fun illogical with girls.

- always pay attention to other girls glancing at you. they will do it if you dominate the place a bit. when you catch them immediately engage with them. wave ns smile or say something or put your hand out like you want them to grab it. often times they will come to you. i once opened a girl standing in the opposite part of the room. lock eye contact hand out gesture to come. it was quite eye opening

- choose the girl you like and move her around. go to a bar or lead her few step to the side to show her some random stuff. the point is to isolate. talk one on one. find out if she's available tonight or take number.

- either set up dates like that or organize parties and invite all people you've met there and work your magic at house parties.

- the whole point is to become popular in that social setting and the best way to do it is using social proof and befriending guys [dominating them most of the time].

[XXL]

in short you have to take more action. come up with stuff on the fly. make something out of nothing. lead people.

most people there just form some groups and stick to each other afraid to break off and meet others. don't do it. don't stick to one group for the whole meeting. break the ice with everybody. explore. mingle. merge. have fun. then after you get to know people and screen who's who and what's what and some girl is down then stick to her like glue. before that it's social time.

and remember names. fucking crucial. introduce people by their names. i know it's hard but it pays off.

[AneroidOcean]

(11-18-2014 07:15 PM)XXL Wrote:  

and remember names. fucking crucial. introduce people by their names. i know it's hard but it pays off.

XXL's comments are absolutely on point. A very small addition:

I do what is probably a fairly LAZY version of this.

Remember that thing about first impressions? You only have a chance to make them ONCE.

If you're part of a group and you introduce yourself and remember everyone's names the next time you meet do you think that makes an impression? How much so?

If you're part of a group and you introduce everyone you've met in the group to a NEW person in the group, hitting every single name (and possibly throwing in a non sequitur here or there) and then forget every single name (but not face) in a future outing, do you think that makes an impression? How much so?

If you think the former makes more of an impression versus the latter, you're lost.

Since it's a newbie thread, here's why the latter beats the former:

1. You're the center of attention, you're introducing a newcomer to EVERYONE, they associate you as the leader or at least a very social person.

2. You remember everyone's name, that shows you as the social leader to EVERYONE you're introducing.

3. When you forget everyone's name (but not face) yet are confident about it in the future, people will not only forgive you because they remember you as connecting the new person with the group, but as the social leader you are automatically assumed to be higher value and more likely to forget names (because you meet so many people as you are a social leader).

Hope that helps a little.

It's kind of like a catch-22 in reverse. You transcend the need to remember names by being socially savvy enough to remember names short term and make the right connections in the crucial moment.