After reading threads such as "I Got Played" and "I feel like my new GF of 2 days has upper hand already", I couldn't help but feel like this:
![[Image: knicksfailure.gif]](http://cdn1.sbnation.com/assets/3888483/knicksfailure.gif)
I don't say this to diss the posters of those threads, this is a community full of guys who want to learn, and fortunately, there's a lot of material here to learn from and both of those threads are great examples that provide teachable moments -- thank you to the OPs for being willing to share your stories.
I previously discussed some of the themes from "I Got Played" in another post entitled Stop Taking L's, so I will concentrate on the most recent thread in which one of our member's shared with us the situation he's facing with his new girlfriend at the moment.
The heart of the matter is "exclusivity", so we're going to discuss here the exclusivity game by defining and outlining it.
What Is Exclusivity?
Exclusivity doesn't mean you're no longer attracted to other women nor does it mean she's no longer attracted to other men. It doesn't mean you own her nor does it mean that she's owns you. It doesn't mean you no longer have a life or certain facets of it that are just yours nor does it mean that she no longer has a life or certain facets of it that are just hers.
Exclusivity is about self-policing and cooperation.
If the choice is to be exclusive with someone, then the choice is to self-police from other temptations and to be a cooperative person in the other person's life and the life that you two choose to lead together.
That means that while you do have a life that you share with her, there are certain aspects of your own life that she may not be a part of, e.g. fantasy football, the manosphere, etc., so you respect that she has her own life as well. As long as whatever that is hers isn't disrespectful to you and the relationship that you want to have, then it shouldn't be a problem -- most girls are boring as shit, they call/text each other when they come across new coupons and share with each other pictures of shit they can't afford, you don't need/want to be a part of that.
When Should You Be Exclusive?
I can't say this enough, exclusivity is earned. If you are a desirable man, you have options. If she wants you to put your options aside, then she has to earn that. I once had a girl ask me to stop sleeping with other women before she and I had sex for the first time, I laughed at her, but told her if she wanted that to even be a possibility, we needed to consummate our relationship, which we did about an hour after we got off the phone.
When a girl wants to lock a guy down, you'll get a certain level of effort from her without asking, I call it "make you feel special" game. She'll say and do things that will at least make you think she's down, she wants to be on the team, and she wants to be the star player.
What else will she do?
She'll also self-police.
Stepping out on a relationship requires opportunity and desire.
As long as a girl is breathing and exposed to other men, she will have plenty of opportunities, but she won't have the desire if she's down for you and thus is self-policing without thinking twice about it. She'll tell guys, even ones she finds physical attractive, and there are some, that she's not available.
Contrary to what appears to be popular belief around these parts, not all girls are sluts and you're not making girls do what you want them to do.
Some guys honestly believe that game makes a woman do whatever fits their desired outcome, like your game made her fuck you, date you, call you, whatever. Game didn't do that, her desire to do that did that. She makes you feel special because that's what she wants to do. She gives herself to you because that's what she wants to do. She self-polices because that's what she wants to do.
![[Image: B1jQiVVIQAAWNhb.jpg]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B1jQiVVIQAAWNhb.jpg)
This is a classic example of a girl doing what she wants to do. She has a guy in her life, but she's still playing the game with other dudes. Maybe her dude does have good game, maybe he's bringing the pipe like she wants it to be brought, but maybe he isn't, maybe there's something else that she wants that he doesn't give her, regardless, even though he's in her life, she still wants to talk to other guys, because that's what she wants to do.
When you let go of those two fallacies, you can really start getting somewhere with females.
So when you are at a point where you're willing to put your options aside because you're down for her and you can see she's making an effort to show you she wants to be down and you can reasonably believe she's self-policing, and she's done that for an extended period of time, then maybe you're ready to be exclusive, because at the end of the day, that's what you both want.
Being exclusive means that the time for auditioning potential teammates is over, now the game is one-on-one.
What To Do When You're Ready
I believe in allowing things to happen organically. An exclusive relationship is one that happens organically. Hell, it happens without you two even realize that you're being exclusive. Thus, it is my belief, that you don't have to have a sit-down with your chick and talk about exclusivity, if anything, you can have a general conversation about the relationship, one that let's her know that you feel that you two are in a good place and as long as things continue in the manner that they have been, then there's a great possibility that you two will find the relationship in an even better place.
Communication is key, but formalities tend to scare people off. She can be the star player, but she doesn't need to know that she is, at least not in a verbal manner, let her analyze your actions and figure that you're all hers, besides, this allows for there to remain a little mystery about your ultimate intentions, which is good, so while she's on the team, that doesn't mean she gets exposed to the whole playbook.
About The Poster Who Inspired This Thread
I'm not sure what happened in his relationship that led him to drop three chicks from his rotation just to rock with one, but he needs to know that. Chances are she didn't really earn his exclusivity, she did something, and he just granted it to her. Now she is NOT his girlfriend. Your girlfriend doesn't play your texts to the left and figure she'll responds when she's good and ready. Your girl is a willing and cooperative teammate in your life, if she's not being that, she's not your girlfriend, she's just some chick you should be gaming for your own needs, if she's even worth that, I'm a player about mine, so I say:
![[Image: bye-bran-bye-bitch_zpsf0eda433.gif]](http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk1/bestandcrazy/bye-bran-bye-bitch_zpsf0eda433.gif)
I don't say this to diss the posters of those threads, this is a community full of guys who want to learn, and fortunately, there's a lot of material here to learn from and both of those threads are great examples that provide teachable moments -- thank you to the OPs for being willing to share your stories.
I previously discussed some of the themes from "I Got Played" in another post entitled Stop Taking L's, so I will concentrate on the most recent thread in which one of our member's shared with us the situation he's facing with his new girlfriend at the moment.
The heart of the matter is "exclusivity", so we're going to discuss here the exclusivity game by defining and outlining it.
What Is Exclusivity?
Exclusivity doesn't mean you're no longer attracted to other women nor does it mean she's no longer attracted to other men. It doesn't mean you own her nor does it mean that she's owns you. It doesn't mean you no longer have a life or certain facets of it that are just yours nor does it mean that she no longer has a life or certain facets of it that are just hers.
Exclusivity is about self-policing and cooperation.
If the choice is to be exclusive with someone, then the choice is to self-police from other temptations and to be a cooperative person in the other person's life and the life that you two choose to lead together.
That means that while you do have a life that you share with her, there are certain aspects of your own life that she may not be a part of, e.g. fantasy football, the manosphere, etc., so you respect that she has her own life as well. As long as whatever that is hers isn't disrespectful to you and the relationship that you want to have, then it shouldn't be a problem -- most girls are boring as shit, they call/text each other when they come across new coupons and share with each other pictures of shit they can't afford, you don't need/want to be a part of that.
When Should You Be Exclusive?
I can't say this enough, exclusivity is earned. If you are a desirable man, you have options. If she wants you to put your options aside, then she has to earn that. I once had a girl ask me to stop sleeping with other women before she and I had sex for the first time, I laughed at her, but told her if she wanted that to even be a possibility, we needed to consummate our relationship, which we did about an hour after we got off the phone.
When a girl wants to lock a guy down, you'll get a certain level of effort from her without asking, I call it "make you feel special" game. She'll say and do things that will at least make you think she's down, she wants to be on the team, and she wants to be the star player.
What else will she do?
She'll also self-police.
Stepping out on a relationship requires opportunity and desire.
As long as a girl is breathing and exposed to other men, she will have plenty of opportunities, but she won't have the desire if she's down for you and thus is self-policing without thinking twice about it. She'll tell guys, even ones she finds physical attractive, and there are some, that she's not available.
Contrary to what appears to be popular belief around these parts, not all girls are sluts and you're not making girls do what you want them to do.
Some guys honestly believe that game makes a woman do whatever fits their desired outcome, like your game made her fuck you, date you, call you, whatever. Game didn't do that, her desire to do that did that. She makes you feel special because that's what she wants to do. She gives herself to you because that's what she wants to do. She self-polices because that's what she wants to do.
This is a classic example of a girl doing what she wants to do. She has a guy in her life, but she's still playing the game with other dudes. Maybe her dude does have good game, maybe he's bringing the pipe like she wants it to be brought, but maybe he isn't, maybe there's something else that she wants that he doesn't give her, regardless, even though he's in her life, she still wants to talk to other guys, because that's what she wants to do.
When you let go of those two fallacies, you can really start getting somewhere with females.
So when you are at a point where you're willing to put your options aside because you're down for her and you can see she's making an effort to show you she wants to be down and you can reasonably believe she's self-policing, and she's done that for an extended period of time, then maybe you're ready to be exclusive, because at the end of the day, that's what you both want.
Being exclusive means that the time for auditioning potential teammates is over, now the game is one-on-one.
What To Do When You're Ready
I believe in allowing things to happen organically. An exclusive relationship is one that happens organically. Hell, it happens without you two even realize that you're being exclusive. Thus, it is my belief, that you don't have to have a sit-down with your chick and talk about exclusivity, if anything, you can have a general conversation about the relationship, one that let's her know that you feel that you two are in a good place and as long as things continue in the manner that they have been, then there's a great possibility that you two will find the relationship in an even better place.
Communication is key, but formalities tend to scare people off. She can be the star player, but she doesn't need to know that she is, at least not in a verbal manner, let her analyze your actions and figure that you're all hers, besides, this allows for there to remain a little mystery about your ultimate intentions, which is good, so while she's on the team, that doesn't mean she gets exposed to the whole playbook.
About The Poster Who Inspired This Thread
I'm not sure what happened in his relationship that led him to drop three chicks from his rotation just to rock with one, but he needs to know that. Chances are she didn't really earn his exclusivity, she did something, and he just granted it to her. Now she is NOT his girlfriend. Your girlfriend doesn't play your texts to the left and figure she'll responds when she's good and ready. Your girl is a willing and cooperative teammate in your life, if she's not being that, she's not your girlfriend, she's just some chick you should be gaming for your own needs, if she's even worth that, I'm a player about mine, so I say:
