[MikeinMKE]

I lost all of my high school / college buddies when I took a job 1,200 miles away from my hometown 3 years ago, and work keeps me so busy with travel, etc. that I have literally 1 dorky guy friend here.

Not a problem initially when dating and working my harem, but now that I'm attempting a relationship I wonder how it plays. Is there a way that I could mitigate potential damage?

The most tangible detriment is that I'm now on date #12 or so with my GF (things aren't going that well per other post) and I feel like this is the time when I'd break out "hey my bud is having a party we should stop by". Not an option for me presently.

Another negative is that it prevents me from confidently stating "let's go ____" for drinks (when it will clearly just be the two of us) whereas she may have a party or something more fun with her friends that trumps my idea.

So basically how do I stay alpha or play off this detriment?

[philosophical_recovery]

(11-15-2014 05:47 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

I lost all of my high school / college buddies when I took a job 1,200 miles away from my hometown 3 years ago, and work keeps me so busy with travel, etc. that I have literally 1 dorky guy friend here.

Not a problem initially when dating and working my harem, but now that I'm attempting a relationship I wonder how it plays. Is there a way that I could mitigate potential damage?

The most tangible detriment is that I'm now on date #12 or so with my GF (things aren't going that well per other post) and I feel like this is the time when I'd break out "hey my bud is having a party we should stop by". Not an option for me presently.

Another negative is that it prevents me from confidently stating "let's go ____" for drinks (when it will clearly just be the two of us) whereas she may have a party or something more fun with her friends that trumps my idea.

So basically how do I stay alpha or play off this detriment?

Do you have anything going on in your life other than your need to maintain this girl's vagina tingles for you? This is post 2 in 5 days about the same topic. It really seems like this is the case.

Seriously, get a hobby that doesn't involve drinking or chasing tail. Something where you can meet male buddies. Even if you do it out of fear of not having friends to keep this unicorn around, you'll get ancilliary benefits.

[redbeard]

The extent to which it's a negative to your game is directly related to how much it impacts you. Change your life, or change your aspirations.

[pitt]

Dude you are seriously putting this girl on pedestal and guess what? I am 100% sure she can see this.

Who cares if you don't have any friends where you at? If she knows that you are not from there, she will be more understandable with it and she is dating you, not your friends, so stop caring that you need to show her that you have cool friends.

If I were you, I would start focusing my energy on other girls because with this one it won't last too long because you are being 100% needy.

[MikeinMKE]

I'm not being as needy with her as it seems to be fair.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

Maybe it's like hitting a plateau in the gym. Sometimes you've got to reset or change up your routine, throw in a harder workout, go after a higher value girl, travel for a while...

I think I've been in similar situations. Her having a more active social life than you can throw your mentality off if you start dwelling on it.

[peterthephoenix]

Lost your old friends, make some new friends.

Start going to meetup groups, trying to meet dudes at the gym etc.

[Vaun]

Crossfit will give you an instant social circle. Join a church if it gets that bad.

[OGNorCal707]

Ever consider joining a boxing, mma, or martial arts gym? It's a good way to learn self-defense, get a work out, and meet new people, kill 3 birds with one stone.

[kaotic]

(11-15-2014 07:58 PM)Vaun Wrote:  

Crossfit will give you an instant social circle. Join a church if it gets that bad.

Almost spit out my drink reading this. But, it's true !

[polymath]

Do what you want.

If you want to make new friends, do it.

Don't restructure your social life solely because of the girl.

Also, your dorky guy friend is probably a good dude, don't chuck him out the door just because he's not suave.

[Kieran]

It shouldn't hurt with women. However I do think it's something you should fix. I'm not sure whether joining boxing gyms etc. is the right way to go, as most of the friends I have through boxing, aren't really the type of men I'd want winging me with the girls I go for. Maybe the US is different.

Most friends I've met in later life, I either met through friends, the fitness gym, or through being a regular at one of my local pubs where the customers and staff are of a similar demographic to myself. It really only takes building a friendship with one person, and then suddenly it can open up several social circles when you meet their friends.

[Dr. Howard]

It shouldn't hurt when actually picking up women but it can make you overly focused on girls/banging. When I was in your situation...new town and travel for work...I was too into exploring my new surroundings to worry about it. It took me over a year to gear down and start thinking "maybe I should start making friends?"

[Brian Shima]

A man needs other guys to talk to bottom line. I would go crazy if I didn't have guys to shoot the shit with and talk man talk. Seriously if your a cool guy and alpha, guys will be drawn to you and want to hang out so maybe you should take a look at your self. That or join activities like guys have recommended. Your having beta tendencies and pedestalizing this girl because you don't have guys to hang out with and other activities and hobbies