[Constitution45]

Last month I have had a few run ins with girls who show interest and attraction, initiating meeting up and hanging out etc. But it comes to me that they are painfully insecure. Obviously all women to some extent are insecure, but I was wondering how was the best way to attract them. Building comfort seems like a good step forwards however there is a risk of falling into a friendzone.

I prefer to be straight forward and it usually works well for me, but this is a sticking point.

Any advice would be welcomed.

[amity]

It's a tricky one for sure.
A few compliments can help, but don't overcook it, and don't overdo the physical compliments and whatever physical compliments you use, make them about harmless places (eyes, smile, etc). Use words like 'unusual', 'alternative', 'unspoken', 'mysterious', insecure chicks like to think of themselves as 'not like most other women' so play into that (even if they are exactly like other women!).
Sprinkle in some humour in your communications, I've experimented with black humour with some of these types of girl and they tend to appreciate it more I find than more secure women.
Importantly, be unaffected by her shit tests (of which there could be many, particularly if she's urban and attractive), 'amused mastery' a la Rollo is your go-to demeanour.

[lycosidae]

Sounds like you're probably dating below your paygrade. If multiple girls are insecure around you, that might mean you're showing tremendous value and don't know it...

Date up and you'll find more confident women so you don't need to worry so much about making them feel comfortable.

(10-30-2014 09:57 AM)Constitution45 Wrote:  

Last month I have had a few run ins with girls who show interest and attraction, initiating meeting up and hanging out etc. But it comes to me that they are painfully insecure. Obviously all women to some extent are insecure, but I was wondering how was the best way to attract them. Building comfort seems like a good step forwards however there is a risk of falling into a friendzone.

I prefer to be straight forward and it usually works well for me, but this is a sticking point.

Any advice would be welcomed.

[Constitution45]

Interesting, these girls are all very attractive, however I just noticed that pretty much all of their talking is about gaining validation in regards to their character, having good morals and being in high demand, like they are trying to sell themselves. I just listen and nod.

The impression I get, is that building comfort is important, but then I friend zoned myself with one of them for the first time since I was a 15 years old lol.

It could be that my SMV has improved dramatically, I have been working on a lot of areas of self improvement, be good to know haha.

[kaotic]

Look for better pastures man, you're right, it does sound like they're selling themselves to you, trying to put on a front to make themselves look better.

Do you really want to hangout with/date insecure girls ?

[WestIndianArchie]

(10-30-2014 09:57 AM)Constitution45 Wrote:  

Last month I have had a few run ins with girls who show interest and attraction, initiating meeting up and hanging out etc. But it comes to me that they are painfully insecure. Obviously all women to some extent are insecure, but I was wondering how was the best way to attract them. Building comfort seems like a good step forwards however there is a risk of falling into a friendzone.

I prefer to be straight forward and it usually works well for me, but this is a sticking point.

Any advice would be welcomed.

Kinda leaving out some important details like..
- what country you're in
- how old these chicks are
- where your game is
- your definition of comfort and rapport
- what you're interpreting as insecurity...
- whether or not you've banged
- how much work you're willing to put in
- whether or not you've giving off the "great guy" vibe.

Some girls are young, some are inexperienced, some are confused as to what they want from you...

Some chicks are insecure about themselves generally, in certain circumstances, about their bodies.

Dark side game teaches guys to hone in on those insecurities and exploit them.

Red pill game might suggest that her insecurities are a subconscious ploy to get you to become responsible for her.

Regular ol pick up artist game sees his as an opportunity to turn it into laughter

Pimp game would sell her a dream, and in that dream she's no longer insecure.

Lotta players would read your chick's insecurity as her having daddy issues, which would might lead to an exploration of those themes.

Lots of angles to play, lots of situations that might be happening, plenty of factors

But with the scenario you layed out above, it's not even clear as to what you're asking.

WIA

[Sebastian]

In my experience, giving out warm comments would never work.

A girl talks about her short height. I tell them height doesn't matter at all for women.
A girl talks about her small boobs. I tell them it's about the image they have. 'can you imagine a ballerina having big boobs?'

When I gave out this comment, all they gave me were blank eyes (just a stare without emotions) No appreciation whatsoever.

It struck me very hard when I was trying to make this girl feel better (so I can fuck her later)
She started talking about her hot friend and how she feels inferior to her hotter, taller blondie friend.
I was playing this counselor game so she could be like 'oh you are such a nice person' and suck my dick at the end of the night.
Do you know what she said? she said 'but I fall for guys who doesn't give a damn about me' with almost crying voice tone.

Girls are expressing those insecurities because they feel Inferior to you.
Remember, girls will only bang guys whom they look up to.
Now, if you make them feel better at themselves, chances of you banging her goes down.
(Women will find this very offensive. The truth is she already had issues when you met her. it's none of your fucking obligation to fix her insecurities. I would let her deal with it on her own just like I wouldn't expect some girl to fix any kind of insecurities I have)

To conclude, I wouldn't offer the solution and just move on to another subject when she brings that up.

I wouldn't say my opinion is right. Try it on your own.

[dholland662]

(10-30-2014 04:51 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Look for better pastures man, you're right, it does sound like they're selling themselves to you, trying to put on a front to make themselves look better.

Do you really want to hangout with/date insecure girls ?

A question, I made a thread about a similar situation (clingy in my case) and I had a question I think would be helpful here once adapted.

Don't we want girls to sell themselves? Take care of their bodies, have good personalities etc.
At what point does it become a problem? This may help identification of problem girls in the future for anyone confused.

[polar]

Insecure plus submissive equals sustainable relationship (whether casual or serious). As your game and value improve, you'll eventually run into girls who perceive a large gap in value and walk on eggshells around you. They'll be much more attentive at taking cues from you as insecurity usually means inexperienced and younger.

On one hand, it means you should up the quality you shoot for if you want to keep developing.

On the other hand, you can keep them around for a while to enjoy the fruits, and treat them as review for your frame control and practice amused mastery...internalize the "my way or the highway" mindset. Play up the older, experienced guy vibe. As long as they take care of you, take care of them, don't be an asshole, and when things end, let them down gently so you don't add another bitter feminist to the world.

Insecure is ok, clingy is a no. Stomp that out in the beginning, make it clear you don't like to talk on the phone, that you're not ready for anything serious, etc. Be willing to walk.