rooshvforum.network is a fully functional forum: you can search, register, post new threads etc...
Old accounts are inaccessible: register a new one, or recover it when possible. x


Walk Before You Run...
#1

Walk Before You Run...

If you want to become a stylish person, you have to learn the basic rules in order to properly break them. Traditional advice for younger people building a wardrobe is something like "get a blue blazer, a good pair of jeans, a button-down shirt, and go from there." That outfit on its own is pretty boring, and will not be impactful with most women, but once you learn those basics then you can work off them and make that outfit better and more edgy by playing with accessories, fit, swapping out for a cooler jacket, etc. You learn the basic rules and then you break them to set yourself apart.

The same thing applies to conversational dynamics and "game". When I started learning this stuff about a decade ago these type of websites were rarer and so you had to wade through tons of bad information. The first things I tried to improve my success with women were very soft, beta-ish tips such as "really listen when a girl speaks", "compliment girls on things other then there looks", and even "use the word 'creepy' to describe other guys because it lets girls see that you know their language". This stuff did not get me laid (obviously) but at least allowed me to be able to stay in a conversation with a woman and come off as non-threatening...combined with being a bit overweight, a corporate job, and a boring look it was just enough to get me into "the orbiter zone" with attractive women, occasional sexual interest from lower value women, and not much more.

Frustrating for sure, but it was a foundation and in retrospect I think it was a important stage of my development that young people with good access to pickup material often miss. Make no mistake, being aggressive in conversation in a way that is really effective for game is breaking a social norm. By definition, everyone cannot act that way. In the primitive sense, it is telling others that you are a biological threat and you intend on being a leader of this group. Outside of physical intimidation, you have to earn that and if you try to do this before you have the skill to make others feel at ease in regular conversation it comes off incredibly badly calibrated and is Kryptonite for women. It takes the form of "negs" that are too aggressive, bitterness at minor conversational rejection (such as when the conversation turns in a way you didn't direct it), and other stuff that screams "no social intelligence" to women.

I write this because I work with a dude in his early 20s who I go out with occasionally and who it is painfully obvious tries to implement "game" without having developed basic social skills. I try to help him because he is a good guy, but I have to laugh when he repels women one by one with stuff he learned on the internet...he is trying to drive 100 miles per hour before he even knows how to ride a bike. I find myself giving him advice that on this forum might be considered really "beta"..."back up a bit", "let her finish a sentence", "chill the fuck out", etc. Then he gets aggravated because he sees me do the exact opposite. Well I learned to walk a long time ago and he has to do that before he can have any success.

Anyway, this is a bit of a rant but I wanted to throw it out there because I think young guys who are starting from a low base should really concentrate on getting to "remedial level" before they get into even the normal core curriculum of pickup. "Softer" pieces of advice like "really listen to her talk" are actually not the worst ways to start for people who have bad social issues and I think often it is counter-productive to take guys at really low levels and tell them to try to be "alpha" in conversation.
Reply
#2

Walk Before You Run...

Good post, I assume the overall message is to try and see what works for you and that doing this takes time?
Reply
#3

Walk Before You Run...

Yes, I totally agree with where your coming from. As with anything in life you become

better with experience and practice. If you one is new to gaming girls, he should start

off with a slow and steady attitude in order to pick up subtle nuances from what the

girl has to say. The same analogy can be applied to young footballers who are making

their first debut for a club. The Manager, will bring them on the pitch for the last 10

minutes of the game, just to give them a feel for the atmosphere and the style of

play. It takes time, to be able to learn frame control, Calibration, kino, isolation etc.

There are so many variables involved that trying to implement them all at once,

based on what you've seen a more experience player do; Will just lead to a lack of

progress and success.

A Clizzy
Reply
#4

Walk Before You Run...

Quote: (09-28-2014 09:48 AM)britchard Wrote:  

Good post, I assume the overall message is to try and see what works for you and that doing this takes time?

My overall point is that in my opinion you have to learn how to be non-threatening, beta, and "normal" in conversation before you can ever hope to be effectively threatening, unique, and "alpha". If you don't have that baseline natural ability, which many lack, then you don't even know the normal rules of conversation that you will be breaking systematically using game and you will have a very tough time.
Reply
#5

Walk Before You Run...

Great post.

If nothing else learning how to be agreeable and nonthreatening is a useful skill. It allows you to be more proactive in defining how other people see you and allows for finer social calibration. I've also found being agreeable is a great way to observe group dynamics. It allows you to blend into the background in a way that people forget you're there but don't find your presence out of place when they do notice you.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)