[Nomad77]

As much as it breaks my heart to do so, I am going to cut loose two girls I know. Why? Because the only time they fall inline is when I am operating in full Alpha/Game mode. The moment I drop that frame around them, they start to disrespect and test my boundaries. Basically, I can't relax around them and it's gotten to the point where it's just emotionally draining.

If you had to use a lot of Game to get a girl, guess what? To keep her inline and around you will have to keep Gaming her. You can't just use Game to get her and then hope she will just suddenly like you for yourself and become a nice, considerate person. The conditions/image you created to attract and get her are the conditions/image you are going to have to maintain to keep her. It's the same with getting a girl from fame, money, status etc. The moment you lose any of it, you lose the girl.

This is fine, if you just want one or a few bangs. And Game is great for this. But if, like me, you are more into relationships, then it's not sustainable. The girl's has got to like you for who you are 80% of the time and she's has got to be naturally the kind of girl you want to be around 80% WITHOUT any Game involved or anything else. That is not the case with these girls and I am tired of constantly having to game them. As American girls become more and more dominant it's going to require more and more Alpha-ness/game just to get them to show you some respect. It's a battle I can't win but more importantly it's a battle that I don't even want to be fighting anymore.

I am developing some hard filters about the kind of girls I want in my life and any girl that requires a lot of game to get and control I no longer want in my life. You guys are welcome to them. On the plus side, they are usually the better looking ones...

[eradicator]

I don't understand. Does this surprise you that you have to keep gaming a woman if you are dating her long term?

For relationships, I insist that if you continue to properly fuck the woman, she will stay in line. If you are no longer motivated to do that, you probably should no longer be dating her anyways.

You have to be able to make her feel like a woman, if you can't do that, you aren't doing your job. If you get lazy and stop gaming her, yeah, expect her to leave. (this isn't an attack on you nomad, I love your posts, but am sort of surprised to see you being surprised by this)

[Nomad77]

It's all a matter of degrees. You always have to employ some level of game but if that level is constantly very high then for me, it's no longer worth it. Some girls you can go into a sort of game maintenance mode but other girls you have to maintain the same level of game you got them with - there is a big difference. Imagine, these girls were cars. You buy the car and you paid a high price for it, ok but then maintenance on the car is costing you another $1000/month! That's like a Ferrari. I don't want Ferrari's in my life anymore, I want Honda's

[starmaze]

The problem as I see it is you see " a game" as different entity, separated from your "true self". The so called game should be part of who you are , not something you use sometimes. Now its more like a new pair of trousers you put on special occasions. Behavior of girls should be shaped by reward and punishment management. But this applies to almost every social interaction.

That being said some girls are bitches that are beyond any "hope".

[Brodiaga]

Any girl who constantly shit tests you is pump and dump material.

[Nomad77]

Let me put it this way. You would need to be like a Pimp 100% of the time to deal with these girls and lot of girls in America today. I don't like the man I am becoming or have to be to get American girls. Worse, they are not even worth it. You guys keep saying it but it's sad but true, most American girls are only worth a few bangs...

[Giovonny]

The problem is that your "gaming personality" is different from your "authentic personality".

You are not free to be authentic. You are a performer, performing game.

When you can get girls using your "authentic personality", you will be free from the shackles of having to "run game".

We shouldn't have to consciously use "game". "Game" should be a natural part of our default, authentic personality.

We don't want to be actors playing a fictional character. We want to be the most attractive version of our real selves.

---

Edit: Starmaze essentially said the same thing!

[Nomad77]

I agree Gio, to some extent it is, and that's what I intend to do going forward. I have become an actor for American girls because I know that is what is going to get them but then I have to continue to act this part and I eventually just get tired.

[jamaicabound]

This brings up an interesting point. Do you think gaming attracts a certain type of women ie a women who requires a more alpha guy because she would walk all over a beta non gaming guy? If the answer to that is yes then does that also mean you always have to be on point as well and can't relax.

I never really thought about it but I think there is some truth to that. Many more relationship minded or easygoing girls probably wouldn't go for running game and would prefer a more genuine approach or almost the type who would like a guy being nervous around her and find it cute or something like that. That girl may be one you can slack on a bit and let your guard down, however if you get a girl gaming can you never slack and must be on your game at all times? Just something tothink about.

[Giovonny]

(09-27-2014 12:35 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

I have become an actor for American girls because I know that is what is going to get them but then I have to continue to act this part and I eventually just get tired.

Can't you get girls using your "authentic" personality?

Why do you have to continue "acting"?

If girls do not like your authentic personality than they are not the right girls for you. If you have to be "fake", in order to get them, they are not the right girls for you.

Target girls that have a similar personality as yourself, girls with similar interests, attitudes and hobbies. Girls that will appreciate the real you and not some fake, Hollywood version of you.

Stop "acting" and get real, this is the only way to solve this problem.

[Nomad77]

You always need to use a certain amount of game. The question really becomes how much are you stepping outside of who you really are to get a girl. For example, if a girl tells you she likes rough sex and you are really not into rough sex but you do it to "get her" then guess what? She is going to continue to expect rough sex from you. A lot of American girls you have to be ready to smack them down at the smallest hint of disrespect or for any kind of shit test. It's like living in a war zone where you have to be on alert 24/7. It's draining. The hottest girls are the one that will require the highest level of game from the biggest Alpha personalities.

[Nomad77]

@Gio, since I did not grow up in the US, I don't have a lot in common with American girls. I can get European girls being my authentic self but American girls I need to use "game." I am normally a fairly easy going and nice guy. The average American girl will eat my ass for lunch if I was this way with them.

And I think this applies to a lot of guys. I know it would apply to most of the guys I know. Gaming American girls is making me into the hard, cold person that I really am not happy being. I have come to realize that I don't want to be the kind of man they find attractive.

[Giovonny]

(09-27-2014 12:56 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

if a girl tells you she likes rough sex and you are really not into rough sex but you do it to "get her" then guess what? She is going to continue to expect rough sex from you.

Not if you tell her her the truth!

Lying to yourself and others is what causes these problems.

I would fuck her once, in a rough way, and then afterwards, tell her that it really isn't my style. Then, the choice is hers, she can continue to be with me knowing the truth about my preferences or she can move on to another guy that better matches her taste.

There is no reason to fake anything!

(09-27-2014 01:02 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

I don't have a lot in common with American girls.

You are a man, she is a woman.

That is the only common trait the is necessary to make a connection.

Just the fact that you are both in South Florida at the same time is enough to find something to talk about.

[OnlyMarryInTajikistan]

Western girls are not fit for relationships.

[Nomad77]

@Marry Unfortunately, for the most part, I would have to agree with you.

[Nomad77]

@Gio A real connection is the hardest thing to find these days. If everyone is running around not being themselves then who are you really connecting with?

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

The reason you are using (western) game in the first place is because you haven't had the fortune of meeting a rare normal girl who doesn't need much game. Thus you are using game to get what little western women can offer you. Why is it a surprise that these women are low quality? And what's the alternative - being celibate?

[Nomad77]

The alternative is leaving the country. Unfortunately, American culture is rapidly changing the women in the rest of the world. I am finding I have to treat foreign women almost the same as American women these days.

[Giovonny]

(09-27-2014 01:15 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

@Gio A real connection is the hardest thing to find these days. If everyone is running around not being themselves then who are you really connecting with?

If you are authentic, you will often inspire others to open up their authenticity.

Most people are starving for connection, emotional support, friendship, etc.

Being honest is step #1. If we are honest, we often attract like minded people.

Being fake only attracts more fakers.

[Nomad77]

@Gio Ok, sounds like a plan. Will see how it goes. So is this what you do?

[vinman]

"The best game is no game".- Dante Nero. It's where it's effortless, and natural.

[Moma]

(09-27-2014 12:35 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

I agree Gio, to some extent it is, and that's what I intend to do going forward. I have become an actor for American girls because I know that is what is going to get them but then I have to continue to act this part and I eventually just get tired.

Nomad, you live in Miami, why don't you start targeting FOBs? Why do you waste your time with American girls continuously? It's a multicultural city, find your niche. Stop wasting time trying to get water from stone. If I don't like pizza, why would I keep frequenting a pizzeria when I get a souvlaki less than 7 mins down the road?

All the lizards that liked me from when we went out in the US were international. The black lizard from philly was Jamaican descent but moved to US when young, the pinays were from Montreal, Canada and the brunette was from Germany.

Stop trying to prove yourself to dullards and charge them to the game.

[Nomad77]

I agree Moma but the foreign girls don't stay they are tourist, they leave. The Latin girls are not into me. So that leaves the 10% white American and European girls that live here.

[Pinocchio]

tomasi rollo talks about game becoming more important in LTRs.

[poutsara]

Agree in general but you can manage this.

One strategy is to find out the alpha traits / game skills that come naturally to you and really double down on them and integrate them into your baseline behavior so you are "always on." The other ones that require effort you can pull out when needed, but don't relay on them.

You can't do this with all components of strong game, but find what you are best at and concentrate there. Might be emotional detachment, strength, humor, confidence, dominance, whatever. Just recognize what aspects of your personality and character should be amplified and bet big on them.