[mikeraw]

Any advice would help... it's hard to find quality women these days, hence my hesitation, and I do play a lot on the side, but that's stressful. I'm also very involved with in the arts, where I run into young princesses that have never seen the inside of a bar, so I want to trade up to one of those...

I hope I receive some constructive advice from members here. Spare me the Beta talk.

Here are her pros and cons:

CONS

1.Older by one year (I'm turning 34 on Monday, she's turning 35 on Friday)
a.Wrinkles from smiling too much or sun
b.Sagging skin in some areas
c.May want kids ASAP… I definitely don’t
d.Fertility may be an issue if and when I do want kids

2.Sex is average

3.Divorced

4.Slept with 8 guys before me

5.Went through pot-smoking hippie phase

6.Sometimes disagrees with me in public

7.More charming than me (but that’s to be expected)
a.Speaks over me sometimes
b.Answers for me occasionally (she’s a fast talker)

8.Very close to her large, blue collar family (I come from a professional family dating back generations... my country's upper class)
a.My kids would spend AT LEAST half holidays with their blue collar cousins
b.May come a time when we would have to help support family if they have money needs or have to offer housing if they make a move to city where we live
c.Family’s manners at the table? When drinking? Vocabulary?
d.Their lack of elegance?

9.Not very fond of my mom

10.Has a dog
a.Up-keeping costs
b.Healthcare
c.Freedoms curtailed
d.Boarding costs when traveling
e.Smelly house
f.Damaged furniture
g.Heartache when death


PROS

1.Pretty and good height (8 in looks)

2.Very tender and loving

3.Catholic

4.Family values

5.Artistic

6.Makes good money ($100K+)

[Malcolm Thomas]

Only you can decide what is really best for you. It sounds like you like her but want to explore more of what is out there.

I would keep her as an option but I would also meet other women to see if you could find a woman who is more compatible with you.[/quote]

[jamaicabound]

Most of your cons are not really cons in my mind. At 35, assuming thats the age of women your going after 8 is actually a pretty low sex count number, don't think your gonna find many lower once in the 30's. Who gives a shit if she went through a pot smoking phase, again by 30 everyon has probably gone throuh some wierd phases. Most of the things don't even really affect you. THe only real cons are mediocre sex, her not being fond of your mom, etc, things that actually affect you.

Don't get caught up on the grass is always greener. It's harder than one would expect to find someone you can actually be in a relationship with, someone who you can spend time with that doesn't drive you crazy, someone whos not clingy and leaves you time to run around doing your thing, etc.

Not saying you shouldn't dump her but realize that everything is better when new and everything will get routine after a while no matter who your with so if you just wanna play the field by all means do so but if you think your going to find a better LTR think long and hard.

[Bilboswaggins]

First off, you've already dumped her in your mind and it won't get better even if you decide to stick with her. The uneasy feeling of ,,did I make the right decision'' will keep getting stronger and stronger until you will eventually still dump her.

You're saying that there's a lack of quality girls in todays society. In the next sentence, you mention young hot art girls that have never seen the inside of a bar..

I think that what you're actually doing is questioning your own ability to attract better girls after dumping her. After all, as you said yourself, you're a man in his prime years with an upper class background and a niche where young hot art girls are around you so in my opinion it would be wise to dump her and keep slaying on.

[divergentseries]

(09-20-2014 07:11 AM)mikeraw Wrote:  

8.Very close to her large, blue collar family (I come from a professional family dating back generations... my country's upper class)
a.My kids would spend AT LEAST half holidays with their blue collar cousins
b.May come a time when we would have to help support family if they have money needs or have to offer housing if they make a move to city where we live
c.Family’s manners at the table? When drinking? Vocabulary?
d.Their lack of elegance?

Why so elitist? My (adoptive) parents were farmers, so I happen to know many blue-collar people. And on average they tend to be not only more fun to be around, but also way more down-to-earth than my upper-class acquaintances (who often think they're bloody Jesus just for having a university degree). Just my 2 cents, of course.

[Vaun]

This is the perfect time to dump her. Before you know it a mysterious accident will happen where she gets pregnant. She's already proven shes bad wife material with everything you've listed, why risk that? Do you not regard yourself highly enough that you think this is all you can get out of life? Life is too short to date older chics in your 30's, unless its non-exclusive and you're protected.

[Th0r]

Keep her around and run mistress game? Although it seems to me that the cons definitely outweigh the pros.

[mikeraw]

What bothers me the most are the number of previous guys, divorced, blue collar background, and her out shining me in social situations. Yea, it's true that women should be the social butterflies but not at the expense of having me relegated to "so and so's husband" when it's been me that has been exposing her to the better things in life.

Each of my last 4 generations has done better than the previous one. Now I'm going to raise one out of redneckville which will lower me a little.

Yes, what it comes down to is that after being in a relationship for 6 months, I'm finding it hard to game regular, non-Internet chicks. I'm on my way back from Rio and hot damn there are so much better fish out there! When I land in Houston in a few hours I'm going to swing by her place and leave her keys in an envelope under her rug. I've already tried breaking up twice and she always manages to say/do the right thing to keep me around. This time I'm doing it over the phone. Zero drama. And I'm sure I'll hook up with some random 5 or 6 tonight, but that's not the thing. I want quality and quality does not come from ONS.

The whole mistress thing is too stressful. I've been stressing out about 3 other chicks that I'm seeing even though I've hinted at all of them that I have a serious GF.

By the way, this current GF is Girl #2 from my last thread a few months ago. I can't link to it right now because iPhone and I'm smashed after such a long flight and I'm boarding my last leg back to TX.

[Cr33pin]

If you don't plan on having kids and a family and its something she wants then break up with her today. She is already past her prime time to have some kids. Don't string her around for a few more years and then dump when it will be much harder for her to find another guy and crank out some babies if that's what she wants out of life.

[MikeS]

35 and only eight guys before you (assuming she's not lying, which most women probably are in that department)? She's positively a virgin by today's standards.

[Windom Earle]

(09-20-2014 07:11 AM)mikeraw Wrote:  

8.Very close to her large, blue collar family (I come from a professional family dating back generations... my country's upper class)
a.My kids would spend AT LEAST half holidays with their blue collar cousins
b.May come a time when we would have to help support family if they have money needs or have to offer housing if they make a move to city where we live
c.Family’s manners at the table? When drinking? Vocabulary?
d.Their lack of elegance?

(09-20-2014 08:16 AM)mikeraw Wrote:  

What bothers me the most are the number of previous guys, divorced, blue collar background, and her out shining me in social situations.

Each of my last 4 generations has done better than the previous one. Now I'm going to raise one out of redneckville which will lower me a little.

Notwithstanding the issue of you not wanting kids at present, the disparity in class appears to be the main sticking point.

Seems like you'll only truly be happy upon finding a girl who is your equal in this regard, and at least 10 years younger to factor in the prime child rearing window.

[mikeraw]

Bingo!

I'm surprised how this issue seems to be so weird to some people but social class and the way one is raised makes huge differences in happiness. What if the house is full of tacky decorations? Or messy? Or if visita o grandpa consist of football watching on Sundays while he's wearing a wifebeater? And what if my kids spend an entire summer with their cousins and pick up a bunch of bad habits?

Anyways, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I don't expect many people to consider this in their assessment of relationship, so moving on...

Her N is definitely high. And most probably is higher, since potheads are known to sleep around and all. Whether that is low or high in comparison to the nationals average is irrelevant. It's too high for me to consider her wife material, no matter how nice and loving she is to me.

Yes, what I do want is a 23-26 yr old with the lowest N possible.

I will dump this chick and I'll feel like crap about it but I know in the long run it's for the best. What gets to me is the constant demands to do "couple things": vacations, weekend getaways, dinners, etc... and I'm a very frugal person on track to retire within 5 years if I continue with my discipline. Not as a filthy rich millionaire, but as someone who won't have to hold a job to live and enjoy life. And even though she makes close to what I make, the guy always ends up paying more. Whether it's gas money or dinners at the resort, etc...

[JJ Roberts]

It's not an either / or question. You could always just tell her the truth and that you don't want a sexually exclusive relationship any more.

[Nascimento]

I read something here recently along these lines:

"Sometimes you break up with a girl not because you don't like her, but because you care for her."

[Kdog]

You speak as if being blue collar automatically makes her side of the family some hick bunch of people, and that spending time with them will make you catch something. What makes you so elite?

[Basil Ransom]

Belongs in newbie forum.

[MdWanderer]

She makes six figures but is blue collar?

[mikeraw]

It's true. I do care for her and a few
weeks ago (the night of the USA-Portugal game, to be exact) I told her that we should break up because I didn't want kids and that's the only reason I see for marriage so I didn't want to waste her window of fertility. After a few moments if silence she said: "if you change your mind after my window, we can always adopt"

She completely missed the point.

Anyways, it's getting to the point that I fear that her birth control will magically fail one if these days.

Anyways, I'm about an hour away from landing in Houston. As soon as I get there I'm going to tell her that we need a break to see if we really miss each other as much as we should. I know I will, but that's just my line. And it's going to be over the phone because bitches be cunning, yo!

[mikeraw]

Blue collar background. First one in her fam to go to university. Income does not equal class. I'm referring to the values that she was raised on. Her parents are not professionals, her brothers and sisters did not attend college.

Notice that the nice income is the last of the things on my list. I would be happy with a museum curator along $50K if she hadn't had so many partners and had a professional family. and no dog. hahaha

[Cheetah]

Quote:

6.Sometimes disagrees with me in public
7.More charming than me (but that’s to be expected)
a.Speaks over me sometimes
b.Answers for me occasionally (she’s a fast talker)

Why do you accept that your girlfriend disagrees with you in public? If you let her know afterwards what you think of that it should only happen once. The rest of the quoted manner as well, if you don't like it and you can't see any humour in her answering for you sometimes why let that behaviour continue?

Quote:

I've already tried breaking up twice and she always manages to say/do the right thing to keep me around. This time I'm doing it over the phone. Zero drama.

This also. I might be completely wrong but does she intimidate you a little?


Even if you do fix all the problems she will not be any younger obviously. You want a younger chich, she wants kids that you don't want now. Not a good combination... Her being blue collar I don't know if that really matters that much? You seem to really try to dig deep to try to find negatives about her but maybe that tells you something about if you truly want to be with her or not..

Just keep in mind that you might miss her terribly if breaking up with her. If you speak to her and break it that you don't see her in the long term you might be able to keep yourselves around abit to make the break up a little smoother.

Don't break up with her over the phone. You need to be able to stand your ground face to face. Be honest about what you feel and it probably ends better for both.

Just my 2 cents.

[WestIndianArchie]

LOL at thinking about dumping.

Don't be a coward.

Dump her and be done with it.

WIA

[mikeraw]

No way. No face to face break up. We love each other and the two times I've tried breaking up we end up having crazy monkey sex. She's very smart and cunning.

And the speaking over me in public or answering for me has already been addressed in the past and she complies for a bit, but then it happens again. That's because she's a fast talker. Fast talkers = lower class. Can you imagine any royal family talking a mile a minute? Yet it's easy to picture some hoodrat talking fast and drowning other people out. Trust me, that's why I don't include her in my symphonic activities and other philanthropist things I do. It'll reflect badly on me.

[Cheetah]

(09-20-2014 10:33 AM)mikeraw Wrote:  

No way. No face to face break up. We love each other and the two times I've tried breaking up we end up having crazy monkey sex. She's very smart and cunning.

And the speaking over me in public or answering for me has already been addressed in the last and she complies for a bit, but then it happens again. That's because she's a fast talker. Fast talkers = lower class. Can you imagine an royal family talking a mile a minute? Yet it's easy to picture some hoodrat talking fast and drowning other people out. Trust me, that's why I don't include her in my symphonic activities and other philanthropist things I do. It'll reflect badly on me.

In a way you don't come across as very upper class yourself even though you probably just try to find reasons to justify your gut feeling to dump her.

She might be smart and cunning but you also seem to be quite easily manipulated. Don't let that happen to you in your next relationship. Your current (?) girlfriend seems to win over you by saying that she will comply but in the end doesn't and you probably don't make enough fuss after she for example disagrees with you in public yet again.

Follow your gut feeling and dump her. Again don't be a wimp and dump her over the phone. If you are absolutely adamant that you want to dump her when meeting her and you accept no arguments, you have already decided, there's no way that she could talk you out of it.

[poutsara]

A Large Blue Collar Family is a good thing not bad.

8 is a small number for prior sex partners (if this is true).

8 out of 10 in looks means she is very attractive.

Everything else you are saying is unimportant except that she and your mom do not get along, and she is older than you at 35. But these last two points are critical.

[pitt]

Your wife sounds great, if she has a big butt, feel free to pm me with her contact.