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The Coffee Thread
#1

The Coffee Thread

"Coffee greases the wheels of capitalism"

I can't find the person who this quote belongs to and I'm fairly certain I didn't come up with it. Regardless anyone who's every tasted the other black stuff knows that when you need to get shit done, this is 'get shit done' juice (also not 100% sure I came up with that, does anyone else feel as though they are constantly plagiarizing others?). Anyway that's why I feel that one of my favorite drugs and I'm sure one of yours deserves it's own thread. I realize that several people have done threads on coffee related matters e.g. buying coffee, coffee shop game and the whole bulletproof coffee trend so I hope no one feels as though I'm stepping on their toes.

My idea for this thread is for people to share brands they like, brewing techniques and any unique methods they use to jacked on legal speed. Also I know that more than a few of you have stories involving blood shot eyes, gritted teeth and sleep deprivation all aided by black gold. So I'll get things started with a recipe for Irish coffee and like all things Irish yes it does contain alcohol.

Irish Coffee Recipe
1. Whiskey: one healthy sized shot (or two depending on how sick you are)
First and foremost let’s not fuck about this is the most important ingredient, if you don't have it don’t bother. It doesn't have to be Irish whiskey, it doesn't even have to be good whiskey the reality is the other ingredients are going mask the taste.

2. Good Coffee
This one should be obvious, if your using freeze dried coffee it will still taste good but fresh brewed coffee is always preferred.

3. Baileys Cream Liquor: 1 – 2 tablespoons depending on preference
This can left out if you don’t want as much alcohol but your fucking yourself

4.Whipped Cream: 1 – 2 tablespoons depending on preference
Make sure to get heavy whipped cream as this is used to top off the coffee and light cream will just sink

5. Brown sugar: 1 – 2 teaspoons
You can use white but if you’ve gone to this effort you might as well get it right, brown just tastes better for this

Optional
One of them fancy glass coffee mugs with the curved handle

Step 1:
Put a spoon in glass to prevent cracking and add a little boiling water to heat the glass. Dump water once glass is heated
Step 2:
Put in whiskey and sugar. Mix well
Step 3:
Add coffee and baileys cream to the glass. Mix until sugar is completely dissolved. Make sure to leave space at the top of the glass for the whipped cream
Step 4:
This part is a little tricky as it’s for presentation purposes. Hold your table spoon with the back facing up against the side of the glass. Pour cream over the back of the spoon.

Congratulations if you’ve succeeded then it looks something like this:
[Image: Classic-Irish-Coffee.jpg]
If not you fucked up, so drink it and make another

"You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a fucking challenge" Scroobius Pip
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#2

The Coffee Thread

I've been doing "Bulletproof Coffee" for a few months (Coffee with grass fed butter and MCT Oil). Been having it as a replacement for breakfast and its worked well. I've used several different types of beans, including the Beans sold by Bulletproof coffee. I have noticed some cognitive differences and some weight loss as previously I "skipped breakfast" and this was a good way to get your metabolism going. It may be a placebo effect, but it tastes decent and gets me those calories and fat right when I wake up.

https://www.bulletproofexec.com/how-to-m...rning-too/

The best coffee I've had in the year is from Germany, the brand is Dallmayr. http://www.dallmayr.com/coffee/

I switched from an Aeropress to brew into using a BonaVita which has been consistent and fantastic.

http://www.amazon.com/Bonavita-BV1800TH-...B005YQZNO8
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#3

The Coffee Thread

In your irish coffee recipe I'd replace the sugar with honey and skip the whipped cream, but it's certainly a good hair of the dog way to dodge a hangover on days you need to get things done.

Generally I'll have standard instant throughout my day, however every morning I brew a pot of french pressed coffee that I take in my flask to uni or work. I take my coffee black or with a little honey. Also brew french press coffee when I have a girl stay over, I generally add honey and almond milk in this case.
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#4

The Coffee Thread

Real coffee = a double shot of espresso pulled just right, about 2-3oz black, hot, plain.

That.Is.All.
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#5

The Coffee Thread

caffeine pills anyone? I tried and they seem to take longer before kicking in while with a normal coffee it's almost instantaneous.
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#6

The Coffee Thread

I've been doing cold-brewed coffee. I like to make a bunch of it and have a pitcher in the fridge to last the week.

Problem is, my pitchers of appropriate size are plastic and this affects the taste as well as in all likelihood leeching nasty chemicals into my coffee. I guess I just need some giant glass pitchers...
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#7

The Coffee Thread

I've wanted to do cold brewed coffee regularly, but the proper apparatus looks a bit clunky and takes up space.
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#8

The Coffee Thread

Bulletproof coffee interested me, since I listen to the Joe Rogan podcast, and Dave Asprey is forever on the show as a guest or being touted as the inventor, but I could never bring myself to put butter in coffee, 50% because I was trying to quit milk and 50% because I tried butter tea once and was grievously sick.

However, I do brew coffee in a stovetop pot and add coconut cream sometimes. It doesn't give me a coffee crash, so I don't have more than 1-2 cups a day, it seems to keep me more focused, and it leaves me feeling full through to lunch-there's always crap food being passed around at work, and after a cup of this, I never think "just one". It also seems to keep my blood sugar on an even keel (diabetes).

I use any old coffee, so I don't know how good or bad it is compared to Bulletproof recipes, but for those with dairy issues or who don't mind the saturated fat, the taste and effects aren't bad.

(You will need to limit coffee consumption if you try this; too much is rough on the bowels.)

Quote: (09-10-2014 10:59 AM)Drazen Wrote:  

I've been doing "Bulletproof Coffee" for a few months (Coffee with grass fed butter and MCT Oil). Been having it as a replacement for breakfast and its worked well. I've used several different types of beans, including the Beans sold by Bulletproof coffee. I have noticed some cognitive differences and some weight loss as previously I "skipped breakfast" and this was a good way to get your metabolism going. It may be a placebo effect, but it tastes decent and gets me those calories and fat right when I wake up.

https://www.bulletproofexec.com/how-to-m...rning-too/

The best coffee I've had in the year is from Germany, the brand is Dallmayr. http://www.dallmayr.com/coffee/

I switched from an Aeropress to brew into using a BonaVita which has been consistent and fantastic.

http://www.amazon.com/Bonavita-BV1800TH-...B005YQZNO8

"The woman most eager to jump out of her petticoat to assert her rights is the first to jump back into it when threatened with a switching for misusing them,"
-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
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#9

The Coffee Thread

Best method to make coffee is with the French press

Freshly ground whole beans are very superior to buying pre-ground

On the weekend I like to put Kalua or other coffee liqueur in my coffee. Goes great with a morning cigar too

"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
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#10

The Coffee Thread

I make mine with Bushmill's and a Bodum press.

Team visible roots
"The Carousel Stops For No Man" - Tuthmosis
Quote: (02-11-2019 05:10 PM)Atlanta Man Wrote:  
I take pussy how it comes -but I do now prefer it shaved low at least-you cannot eat what you cannot see.
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#11

The Coffee Thread

Quote: (09-10-2014 10:59 AM)Drazen Wrote:  

I've been doing "Bulletproof Coffee" for a few months (Coffee with grass fed butter and MCT Oil). Been having it as a replacement for breakfast and its worked well. I've used several different types of beans, including the Beans sold by Bulletproof coffee. I have noticed some cognitive differences and some weight loss as previously I "skipped breakfast" and this was a good way to get your metabolism going. It may be a placebo effect, but it tastes decent and gets me those calories and fat right when I wake up.

https://www.bulletproofexec.com/how-to-m...rning-too/

Good shout. I used to make it too. Very filling and I hear it also doesn't break your fast if you're doing Intermittent Fasting. Tastes best if made in a blender (to get that froth on top).
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#12

The Coffee Thread

Quote: (09-10-2014 01:34 PM)Drazen Wrote:  

I've wanted to do cold brewed coffee regularly, but the proper apparatus looks a bit clunky and takes up space.

There is no "proper apparatus" really.

You can just leave coffee grounds in water overnight in any sort of container. Then you just filter it into another container.

I used to just leave it in a French Press overnight, then in the morning, press, and serve over ice.

Or any type of pitcher you have really.
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#13

The Coffee Thread

I've never enjoyed my French Press hot brews, they usually came out bitter. I like simplicity, but hated the results of drip coffee. Plus the french press was harder to clean, the grinds would jam up my garbage disposal.
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#14

The Coffee Thread

Quote: (09-10-2014 03:41 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Best method to make coffee is with the French press

Freshly ground whole beans are very superior to buying pre-ground

On the weekend I like to put Kalua or other coffee liqueur in my coffee. Goes great with a morning cigar too

I agree. I currently have Juan Valdez (Huila) coffee beans that a friend brought back to me from his recent trip to Colombia.

That combination sure does make for a fine cup of coffee.

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" -- Hunter S. Thompson

"Knowledge without mileage is bullshit" -- Henry Rollins

"Fine....you go ahead and run down the hill and fuck one of those cows. But me, I'm going to walk down and fuck 'em all" -- Wise Old Bull
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#15

The Coffee Thread

Quote: (09-10-2014 11:40 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

I've been doing cold-brewed coffee. I like to make a bunch of it and have a pitcher in the fridge to last the week.

Problem is, my pitchers of appropriate size are plastic and this affects the taste as well as in all likelihood leeching nasty chemicals into my coffee. I guess I just need some giant glass pitchers...

Plastic + Coffee don't mix at all
Nor do styrofoam or paper either but you taste them less.
Even metal throws it off
Ceramic or glass are the purest ways of drinking it

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
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#16

The Coffee Thread

Can someone share their method for making coffee in a french press? Why is this better than using a standard coffee maker? Thanks.
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#17

The Coffee Thread

While we're on a coffee thread, anyone here roast their own coffee beans? I was into it for a while. Pretty easy to do and will give you just about the best coffee you've ever had.
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#18

The Coffee Thread

Quote: (09-10-2014 11:14 AM)Statsi Wrote:  

In your irish coffee recipe I'd replace the sugar with honey and skip the whipped cream, but it's certainly a good hair of the dog way to dodge a hangover on days you need to get things done.

Generally I'll have standard instant throughout my day, however every morning I brew a pot of french pressed coffee that I take in my flask to uni or work. I take my coffee black or with a little honey. Also brew french press coffee when I have a girl stay over, I generally add honey and almond milk in this case.

Honey could be a decent substitute, most people would constitute white sugar as blasphemy though

"You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a fucking challenge" Scroobius Pip
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#19

The Coffee Thread

Quote: (09-10-2014 11:40 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

I've been doing cold-brewed coffee. I like to make a bunch of it and have a pitcher in the fridge to last the week.

Problem is, my pitchers of appropriate size are plastic and this affects the taste as well as in all likelihood leeching nasty chemicals into my coffee. I guess I just need some giant glass pitchers...

I've always been naturally biased towards iced coffee as my first experience with it was seeing despicably fat people waddling around slurping it from a plastic Dunkin' Donuts cup. I would watch these fat fucks every morning during the summer ordering there third shot of caramel on top of the sugar, cream and splenda they've already crammed in there. And think to myself at what point does it stop becoming coffee and turn into a milkshake for breakfast.

Recently I started looking into cold brew myself after reading a post on Danger and Play http://www.dangerandplay.com/2014/06/11/...l-or-scam/

I didn't realize that it was so much fucking stronger. Being a lover of all things efficient the thought of increasing the amount of caffeine in my brew at half the volume sounds interesting. Will report back

"You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a fucking challenge" Scroobius Pip
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#20

The Coffee Thread

Quote: (09-11-2014 09:29 PM)Doctor Wrote:  

While we're on a coffee thread, anyone here roast their own coffee beans? I was into it for a while. Pretty easy to do and will give you just about the best coffee you've ever had.

I haven't even considered it, but I can imagine being able to put that level of control on the procedure would lead to a much better final product. How do you go about doing it?

"You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a fucking challenge" Scroobius Pip
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#21

The Coffee Thread

Quote: (09-11-2014 03:06 PM)heavy Wrote:  

Quote: (09-10-2014 11:40 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

I've been doing cold-brewed coffee. I like to make a bunch of it and have a pitcher in the fridge to last the week.

Problem is, my pitchers of appropriate size are plastic and this affects the taste as well as in all likelihood leeching nasty chemicals into my coffee. I guess I just need some giant glass pitchers...

Plastic + Coffee don't mix at all
Nor do styrofoam or paper either but you taste them less.
Even metal throws it off
Ceramic or glass are the purest ways of drinking it

On the subject of Styrofoam has anyone ever had a malfunction with a Styrofoam cup before? I bring my own brewed coffee to work most days, along with a travel mug. One day about a month ago I forgot my cup so I had a friend pick me up a Styrofoam cup a Dunkin'. I poured my coffee from my thermos, grabbed it and I shit you not the cup started to leak and disintegrate. It fucked up my desk and company keyboard all we could do was watch and laugh

"You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a fucking challenge" Scroobius Pip
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#22

The Coffee Thread

Anyone who likes coffee, especially French press fans, do yourself a favor and spend the $25 for an Aeropress.

Sidenote: I'm also a longtime Bulletproof coffee instead of breakfast person, and it's great.
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#23

The Coffee Thread

Quote: (09-13-2014 12:37 AM)Seanchaí Wrote:  

Quote: (09-11-2014 09:29 PM)Doctor Wrote:  

While we're on a coffee thread, anyone here roast their own coffee beans? I was into it for a while. Pretty easy to do and will give you just about the best coffee you've ever had.

I haven't even considered it, but I can imagine being able to put that level of control on the procedure would lead to a much better final product. How do you go about doing it?

I like cold brewed just as much as the next guy, but it is hard to beat a hot cup of coffee in the wintertime. Especially if they are predicting another miserable winter.

I'll try and keep the summary simple. Just like anything else, you can get as complicated as you want with the process.

For any that are interested, this website gives a pretty good overview of the process and all the methods: http://www.sweetmarias.com/instructions.php
Art of manliness also did a post on this a while back.

First off, you need unroasted coffee beans. They are green and they smell like dirt. You can get them off amazon for 30-50$ for a 5lbs bag. There are other websites too. For people that get really, really into it there are dozens of types of beans you can get and all are supposed to have a unique flavor that is adjustable depending on intensity of roasting.

Then you need a way to cook the beans. The most common ways are:
-Hot air popcorn popper (15-25$)
-Stovetop popcorn popper (25-35$ off the top of my head?)
-Skillet/Wok (whatever a skillet/wok costs. I imagine cast iron is preferred)
-Electronic roaster (anywhere from 150-500$)

The electronic roster is probably the easiest, but most expensive. You just put the beans in, set a timer, and you're done.

The stovetop popcorn popper requires you to have an open flame to get the required heat. The stovetop popper is the metal pot type thing with a lid and a crank handle so you can constantly churn the beans as they cook to roast evenly. Probably the most work of the three, but you can make larger batches.

The skillet/wok requires you to constantly turn the beans by hand. Also requires an open flame.

Hot air popper is an electronic thing that uses hot air to spin the beans around the bottom and the hot air being blown out removes the chafe (the shell that cooks off). The is pretty easy, especially once you figure out the times, but generally you can only do pretty small batches at a time. This is the method I used as one of these poppers runs like 15$ at target. A fairly easy initial investment.

Important: doing this indoors without adequate ventilation will set off smoke detectors. Some of the automatic roasters come with a way to reduce smoke, but otherwise ventilation should be a priority.
---------------
This is for the hot air popper as this is the only method I have used.

-Put some beans in the popper. I eyeballed it, but you can weigh the amount too so you can get more consistency with cooking times.
-Put enough beans in that it spins, but not too slow and not too fast. They get lighter as the oil and moisture cook off so they will spin faster.
-The hot air popper shoots the chafe out so you need a bowl/container to collect the chafe. It is just the light, flaky outer shell.
-Listen for the "pops" There are two pops to listen for. The times aren't fresh in my head, but the first pop comes around 3min or so and the second at maybe 7-9min.
-At the point of the second pop you start watching it to determine when you want to remove the beans depending on the type of roast you want (city and fully city or "roasting" terms, essentially the same thing would be light/breakfast, medium, or italian/french/dark).
-At this point the beans are hot and still cooking. Remove them and put them somewhere to cool off. I put them in a fridge, but you could spread them out on a pan and set it in front of a fan. Cooling them off stops the cooking phase.
-They are supposed to be "freshest" at 4-24hrs post roasting. Possibly, but I can't tell the difference. I put cooled beans in a mason jar and close it tightly. I tried to fill whatever size jar I had so the least amount of oxygen was in there. The roasted beans actually off gas so if they are in a sealed container they don't really oxidize. Also, the container releases pressure when you open it (a little, not a lot) and the smell is incredible.
-Grind and enjoy.

^^^The above may sound complicated, but once you do it a few times you can just set a timer or stopwatch and there is no need to watch the beans. You can just put them in and come back 8-12 min later.

I bought this book and it does a pretty good job of going over the details. probably more so than I really needed.
http://www.amazon.com/Home-Coffee-Roasti...ing+coffee

And yes, even with basic unroasted beans and no skill I could tell a difference between home roasted beans and any beans bought at the store.
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#24

The Coffee Thread

Has anyone tried using gee to make Bullet-Proof Coffee while on the road? Not always easy to get access to grass-fed butter and adequate refrigeration while traveling. Gee, which doesn't require refrigeration, sounds like a good idea. But I've never used the stuff.
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#25

The Coffee Thread

Weird, someone is talking about coffee and bootyhuntah is not around. XD

"What is important is to try to develop insights and wisdom rather than mere knowledge, respect someone's character rather than his learning, and nurture men of character rather than mere talents." - Inazo Nitobe

When i´m feeling blue, when i just need something to shock me up, i look at this thread and everything get better!

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