[BigBoyPants]

Has anyone experience this? I moved back home in mid April, and left behind pretty much everyone I knew. I've attempted several times to make good friends, but I find that most other men are just not enjoyable to be around. They have no real desire for strong (male) friendships, and would rather be white knights for women. Should I give up on my search, because i'm getting no results? Using the internet, and my job as a form of a social interaction is making me feel like a NEET, and my parents give me shit about it too.

[Dr. Howard]

I don't have a problem with making friends/being isolated and I'm in my 30s and move around all of the time. I've always liked the quote 'women stand face to face and men stand shoulder to shoulder'

volunteer, find a social part time job, find a sports league, join a church or even a gaming group if you are a super nerd. Male bonds are formed while doing things, not over a glass of wine and gossip like a woman.

[Peregrine]

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-37185-...#pid758301

I posted my thoughts on the topic at the end.

[BadWolf]

Ya forget trying to make friends in the west, people here stink. Best thing you can do is go over to some other country, meet a nice foreign girl, make her your wife and you'll have a friend forever. Pick one that likes the same stuff you do and you're set. It worked for me.

[Neo]

I actually agree it can be difficult.

I've always been a solitary person, my personality type is INTJ so I don't really mind it much at all. I find after social situations, I need time alone to 'recharge.'

I'm in my 30s and a lot of my friends I've had for 10+ years or more. I've made some good friends in my 20s, but not a ton. More like a bunch of acquaintances.

One of my goals is to meet more veteran guys on this board since we have similar world views.

[Parlay44]

That's what work is for. Focus on career and you'll make some friends along the way.

[Cr33pin]

[Old Fritz]

(08-24-2014 09:06 AM)Neo Wrote:  

I actually agree it can be difficult.

I've always been a solitary person, my personality type is INTJ so I don't really mind it much at all. I find after social situations, I need time alone to 'recharge.'

I'm in my 30s and a lot of my friends I've had for 10+ years or more. I've made some good friends in my 20s, but not a ton. More like a bunch of acquaintances.

One of my goals is to meet more veteran guys on this board since we have similar world views.

Hello fellow INTJ

[Coldfire]

(08-24-2014 10:45 AM)Old Fritz Wrote:  

(08-24-2014 09:06 AM)Neo Wrote:  

I actually agree it can be difficult.

I've always been a solitary person, my personality type is INTJ so I don't really mind it much at all. I find after social situations, I need time alone to 'recharge.'

I'm in my 30s and a lot of my friends I've had for 10+ years or more. I've made some good friends in my 20s, but not a ton. More like a bunch of acquaintances.

One of my goals is to meet more veteran guys on this board since we have similar world views.

Hello fellow INTJ

I tested INTJ and my family is full of extroverts which makes big family functions exhausting

[CRR]

(08-24-2014 06:26 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

I don't have a problem with making friends/being isolated and I'm in my 30s and move around all of the time. I've always liked the quote 'women stand face to face and men stand shoulder to shoulder'

volunteer, find a social part time job, find a sports league, join a church or even a gaming group if you are a super nerd. Male bonds are formed while doing things, not over a glass of wine and gossip like a woman.

This is great advice.

I'd add to be patient. I've moved a few times, one time it took me a year or so to settle in, met a couple of friends (lifelong now) and my social life skyrocketed from there.

[rhr]

Increased isolation is a very well known phenomenon. There have been books written about it.

It is easy to blame oneself for this as long as there is no good understanding of what is really going on and where the problem lies.

What is actually happening is the continuous destruction of viable "social roles" within society. Lacking these "roles" to identify with, people choose to withdraw from social interaction.

If you haven't yet, I highly recommend reading this article. It on Return of Kings!!
http://www.returnofkings.com/36915/what-...experiment

It's eye opening!!
.

[Old Fritz]

(08-24-2014 10:53 AM)Coldfire Wrote:  

(08-24-2014 10:45 AM)Old Fritz Wrote:  

(08-24-2014 09:06 AM)Neo Wrote:  

I actually agree it can be difficult.

I've always been a solitary person, my personality type is INTJ so I don't really mind it much at all. I find after social situations, I need time alone to 'recharge.'

I'm in my 30s and a lot of my friends I've had for 10+ years or more. I've made some good friends in my 20s, but not a ton. More like a bunch of acquaintances.

One of my goals is to meet more veteran guys on this board since we have similar world views.

Hello fellow INTJ

I tested INTJ and my family is full of extroverts which makes big family functions exhausting

Same. Being around a lot of people tends to suck my energy away very fast. That or I get annoyed.

[The Lizard of Oz]

I posted my thoughts about this on the same thread that Peregrine linked to, and am reposting below. In brief, this forum is a great resource for finding like-minded men with whom to form serious friendships; use it.

(06-16-2014 09:08 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

Interesting thread.

I think some of the guys posting here are overlooking a resource staring you right in the face:

Find posters on the forum who live in your area and are of similar age or have shared interests -- or just posters that you think you you might enjoy hanging out with. Get in touch with them through PMs or the "meetups" subforum and see if you can make new friendships with like-minded men.

Where else are you going to be able to find a group of men that you can speak with honestly, and know that you will be understood? Do you realize how much you already share by default with other guys who are drawn to the forum and who post here? These are guys that you can probably have laughs with that you can't have with anyone else. And friendships formed between like-minded, but free-thinking, men such as the ones drawn to this forum are the ones most likely to withstand the test of time.

One of the very best uses of the RVF is as a resource for men to find other men that they can hang out with in real life, chase tail together, and over time, form some of the best and deepest friendships. Make use of it!

[nek]

(08-24-2014 06:26 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

Male bonds are formed while doing things, not over a glass of wine and gossip like a woman.

Really like this. You need to do this that are still really male-heavy. Martial arts/hunting clubs are good, as these two pursuits basically represent the essence of being a man, and the female influence in them will be minimal.

On a related note, it's really important to develop good male friendships, no matter how introverted you are. You will need a support network. One of the things that's really hurting men these days is this lack of a support network. What's worse is that this is usually voluntary. Guys get married and spend their free time doing whatever their wife wants to do for years, only to get divorced and find themselves in complete isolation. The wife, on the other hand, has continued to cultivate her social and support group. Say no to going to her friend's child's 7 and a half birthday party and go play ball with your boys. You don't have to go to HER family's easter dinner every year, go to your family's

[la_mode]

Male friendship has never really been that important to me. Unless it's a business connection of sorts, I'd say I've met all the guys I wanna meet for actual friends.

[BigBoyPants]

(08-24-2014 12:43 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

I posted my thoughts about this on the same thread that Peregrine linked to, and am reposting below. In brief, this forum is a great resource for finding like-minded men with whom to form serious friendships; use it.

(06-16-2014 09:08 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

Interesting thread.

I think some of the guys posting here are overlooking a resource staring you right in the face:

Find posters on the forum who live in your area and are of similar age or have shared interests -- or just posters that you think you you might enjoy hanging out with. Get in touch with them through PMs or the "meetups" subforum and see if you can make new friendships with like-minded men.

Where else are you going to be able to find a group of men that you can speak with honestly, and know that you will be understood? Do you realize how much you already share by default with other guys who are drawn to the forum and who post here? These are guys that you can probably have laughs with that you can't have with anyone else. And friendships formed between like-minded, but free-thinking, men such as the ones drawn to this forum are the ones most likely to withstand the test of time.

One of the very best uses of the RVF is as a resource for men to find other men that they can hang out with in real life, chase tail together, and over time, form some of the best and deepest friendships. Make use of it!

This is very close to how I feel. I joke around with the guys who I work with, but that's about it. At the end of the day though, I realize that i'm alone. I believe that having a good male friend can be just as fulfilling as any relationship with a women.

[CRR]

(08-24-2014 03:37 PM)nek Wrote:  

(08-24-2014 06:26 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

Male bonds are formed while doing things, not over a glass of wine and gossip like a woman.

Really like this. You need to do this that are still really male-heavy. Martial arts/hunting clubs are good, as these two pursuits basically represent the essence of being a man, and the female influence in them will be minimal.

On a related note, it's really important to develop good male friendships, no matter how introverted you are. You will need a support network. One of the things that's really hurting men these days is this lack of a support network. What's worse is that this is usually voluntary. Guys get married and spend their free time doing whatever their wife wants to do for years, only to get divorced and find themselves in complete isolation. The wife, on the other hand, has continued to cultivate her social and support group. Say no to going to her friend's child's 7 and a half birthday party and go play ball with your boys. You don't have to go to HER family's easter dinner every year, go to your family's

Yup. I have a core group of male friends, and while we are all different in many ways (some extroverts, some introverts) we all bond over doing guy things (i.e. going to bars and picking up women) as well as being supportive of each other. Knowing someone has your back goes a long way.

As we've gotten older, we see each other less (some are now in relationships), but when we get together it's just like old times. Your friends become your family.

[Rigsby]

My life runs in parallel.

On the one hand, I have the things I do and work at, and that brings me into contact with people.

But on the other hand, I have no real friends now and am very isolated.

I try for it not to get me down, but it's hard sometimes.


I live in the countryside in England, and it is notorious for being very small minded with the people being reclusive. There are no sports or clubs to speak of. People don't even go to the pubs. They are empty.

Lately there has been a group of kids on small motorbikes hanging out every Friday night in the centre of town. I feel for them. Nothing to do. No clubs. Not old enough to drink. They don't look like they just want to get pissed anyway. They look like they want to live. They are fairly well off kids, with a bit of money, good looking and all that, but still, nothing for them.

So imagine what it's like for me. I do stand out a bit even though I'm knocking on. I'm taller than average and even though I'm a bit grey, I wear it with pride. Being on the good side of handsome don't hurt either. I can see they would be interested, but women of that age that are attracted to me are in relationships.

I met a stunner in the pub, and all her boyfriend did was go on about slaughtering cattle. He knew what he was doing. He excluded her to the point of being rude and being a brute. She was not pleased.

I've had horsey girls in riding boots follow me around the shop trying to get my attention. And I've talked to them, but there always seems to be a reason why it never goes any further.

On one hand here I am bigging up how great I am, and on the other I am admitting how isolated I am. Such is life. I don't feel sorry for myself, and know that life can turn on a sixpence (or dime as you chaps probably say), for better or for worse. So I count the good days, all the days I get to fight again. I keep my depression in check and look forward to what this wonderful life can bring me in the future.

I count the blessings of my health, of the health of my family. I don't let the pricks get me down, and I have learned the value of having good male buddies to see me through. I don't have many of them either at the moment. But you know...


You are not alone. It is nothing to be ashamed of. This is the result of the Cultural Marxism (god I never thought I'd use that term, but hey, you know what I mean) and the disassembling of the family unit. Where I live it is full of single mothers pushing prams. No dads. I'd be accused of being a child molester if I ever chatted one up. Which is ironic really considering they have already had babies.

I crack on with my work. I do 'the work', which is different to 'my work'. 'The work' is all about self betterment, learning your place in this world, learning what is important in life and being humble.

I can see why some people might feel sorry for me in my circumstances, but fuck, it's not half as sorry as I feel for them. I'm my own man, ploughing my own furrow. I'm looking for good buddies both male and female to share the path. I'm not averse to playing a bit of game to get what I want.

[RawGod]

(08-24-2014 05:45 PM)Rigsby Wrote:  

My life runs in parallel.

On the one hand, I have the things I do and work at, and that brings me into contact with people.

But on the other hand, I have no real friends now and am very isolated.

I try for it not to get me down, but it's hard sometimes.


I live in the countryside in England, and it is notorious for being very small minded with the people being reclusive. There are no sports or clubs to speak of. People don't even go to the pubs. They are empty.

Lately there has been a group of kids on small motorbikes hanging out every Friday night in the centre of town. I feel for them. Nothing to do. No clubs. Not old enough to drink. They don't look like they just want to get pissed anyway. They look like they want to live. They are fairly well off kids, with a bit of money, good looking and all that, but still, nothing for them.

So imagine what it's like for me. I do stand out a bit even though I'm knocking on. I'm taller than average and even though I'm a bit grey, I wear it with pride. Being on the good side of handsome don't hurt either. I can see they would be interested, but women of that age that are attracted to me are in relationships.

I met a stunner in the pub, and all her boyfriend did was go on about slaughtering cattle. He knew what he was doing. He excluded her to the point of being rude and being a brute. She was not pleased.

I've had horsey girls in riding boots follow me around the shop trying to get my attention. And I've talked to them, but there always seems to be a reason why it never goes any further.

On one hand here I am bigging up how great I am, and on the other I am admitting how isolated I am. Such is life. I don't feel sorry for myself, and know that life can turn on a sixpence (or dime as you chaps probably say), for better or for worse. So I count the good days, all the days I get to fight again. I keep my depression in check and look forward to what this wonderful life can bring me in the future.

I count the blessings of my health, of the health of my family. I don't let the pricks get me down, and I have learned the value of having good male buddies to see me through. I don't have many of them either at the moment. But you know...


You are not alone. It is nothing to be ashamed of. This is the result of the Cultural Marxism (god I never thought I'd use that term, but hey, you know what I mean) and the disassembling of the family unit. Where I live it is full of single mothers pushing prams. No dads. I'd be accused of being a child molester if I ever chatted one up. Which is ironic really considering they have already had babies.

I crack on with my work. I do 'the work', which is different to 'my work'. 'The work' is all about self betterment, learning your place in this world, learning what is important in life and being humble.

I can see why some people might feel sorry for me in my circumstances, but fuck, it's not half as sorry as I feel for them. I'm my own man, ploughing my own furrow. I'm looking for good buddies both male and female to share the path. I'm not averse to playing a bit of game to get what I want.

Three words mate: location independent income!

[la_mode]

It's good to have guys to goto the gym with, sometimes bars with to pick up women - but any man who feels bad over not having enough "male friendship" in his life might be The Talented Mr. Ripley himself.

[Rigsby]

(08-24-2014 07:23 PM)la_mode Wrote:  

It's good to have guys to goto the gym with, sometimes bars with to pick up women - but any man who feels bad over not having enough "male friendship" in his life might be The Talented Mr. Ripley himself.

Steady on old chap. I know nothing of Mr. Ripley and what you are alluding to, but, you know, good buddies are gold.

Not talking about the shallow fuckers that desert you the minute they get a squeeze.

I much prefer female company. I could survive better on this planet with 2 good female friends than 20 males, but, there is a certain comfort and identification with bonding with other males. There is nothing 'gay' about it. I don't know if that is what you are alluding to.

Some of us like pets and take solace in cats or dogs. Others take solace in good family members, be they Mothers or Fathers.

Who are you to judge what keeps a man warm at night?

Sorry if I got you wrong. Just my little thoughts on the matter.

[aeroektar]

Throughout life I've had 3 major periods of a strong core of male friends, basically 3 separate social circles. People drift apart, but I can't help but look back, and see that every time, females had something to do with pushing us apart. 2 guys would fight over a girl, or guys would find a girl and get pussy wiped and leave the group.

I've done both of those things, and I'm currently in a position where a 5 year relationship (that I ended in January) dragged me away from my friends, leaving me without a social circle now that I'm on my own. I still have a handful of close friends, but we don't talk or hang out nearly as often as we used to. Its depressing, but this seems like part of life as you get older. I still plan on making strong friendships in the future, but right now I feel drained.

[Rigsby]

(08-24-2014 08:35 PM)aeroektar Wrote:  

Throughout life I've had 3 major periods of a strong core of male friends, basically 3 separate social circles. People drift apart, but I can't help but look back, and see that every time, females had something to do with pushing us apart. 2 guys would fight over a girl, or guys would find a girl and get pussy wiped and leave the group.

I've done both of those things, and I'm currently in a position where a 5 year relationship (that I ended in January) dragged me away from my friends, leaving me without a social circle now that I'm on my own. I still have a handful of close friends, but we don't talk or hang out nearly as often as we used to. Its depressing, but this seems like part of life as you get older. I still plan on making strong friendships in the future, but right now I feel drained.

It's a fact of life that men fall apart and drift away. Such is the nature of the beast.

Place no man's head above your own, the Buddha said. And with good reason.

Let's face it, it's not like you are going to have a long term buddy relationship with a woman, unless she is your sister!

Good friends are hard to find.

Us blokes should look out for each other more.

[Suits]

In my experience as a guy who speaks in 100% existential most of the time and therefore is not easy to understand or relate with for the majority of people, location is very important.

If you're really just "one of the guys" with an average IQ and have to issue with hiding parts of yourself to fit in, you'll be fine in the majority of places, because you'll be just like everyone else.

If you are the sort that stands out in a less than rockstar manner, where you live is going to matter.

When I'm in a mid-sized college city in the USA, I find it hard to find friends who get me, but with enough time, I can.

When I'm in my tiny working class hometown, I can relate with virtually no one. I had a lonely childhood a lot of the time.

When I move to a world class city with a population of over 7 million people which is full of ambition movers and shakers drawn from around the world by the various appeals of that city, I fit in great. No one assumes that I have struggled socially my whole life.

Rather, they, often being somewhat unique in their own ways, find me unusual, but enjoyably so.

Here in Beijing, my friends are all either Chinese who love to meet knew people or other foreigners who are taking investing themselves seriously.

I still don't get along with the people who come to China for an adventure, but learn dick all of the local language and spend most of their time in Starbucks or wherever else they need to go to forget that they are in China.

[Basil Ransom]

I considered responding seriously to your post, but your avatar is so hideous that I can't take you for anything but a troll.