[cmrocks]

Holy shit. I'm going to be a father. My fiancee just found out yesterday. I wanted to post on here because it's still way too early to tell people. She's 2 or 3 weeks pregnant at most right now. I'm a bit overwhelmed right now so hopefully typing it out will help a bit.

I'm in grad school right now but will be finished and back at work in 4 months so that's not a big deal at least. She went back to school in September to take an ultrasound tech program and she may or may not be able to finish.

Our wedding is planned for September 2016. We wanted to have a long engagement so we could both finish school completely and save a bit of money together before getting married. We've been together for two years now.

Of course, her getting pregnant was completely unplanned. She's not on birth control. We normally use condoms but around her time of the month, we don't bother and I just pull out. I guess you can still get pregnant that way!

She wanted to wait until after our wedding. To be honest, I'm stoked that she got pregnant now. I'm 28 and she's 25. In my mind, the younger the better for her having kids. I guess now we'll have one kid, get married then have the 2nd one after the wedding. Works fine for me.

My only real fear is providing for a family financially. I don't want her to work. Before starting grad school, I was working as a geologist and making just shy of $100,000 a year but I was working at a mine in Northern Canada. With my MSc, I'll probably earn the same salary as before but working in an office in the city. I won't be graduating with any debt but this program will have hammered my savings to nearly zero. I should be able to graduate with my meager RRSP account in tact but my other savings account will be gone.

Overall, I'm very happy. She's a great girl and one of the few truly good women that I've met. She works in health care and volunteers at the hospital. She doesn't drink very much. She exercises a lot. Her parents were poor Dutch immigrants to Canada but she's worked hard to educate herself and get a decent job. It also helps that she's 5'9, 125 lbs with blonde hair and blue eyes.

Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Please, I don't want to hear any "abort it" or "run away" comments. I take responsibility for what happens in my life.

[Kaii]

Congrats man! Having kids can be really good for some people, so I wish you luck.

My only advice is to keep your red pill ways and teach your child the reality of life. Hopefully, her/him will grow up more richer with the knowledge you can impart.

Good luck and good fortune to you!

[TheFinalEpic]

Congrats to you and your new family man.

[RexImperator]

Good for you

[RockHard]

Congratulations, man. It's a good thing. Your swimmers are fucking SEAL team quality, so you gotta wrap that shit. (Pro tip, the old wives tale about "can't get preggo when nursing"? Bullshit. Have a friend with kids 15 months apart who thought the same thing)

(08-21-2014 11:55 AM)cmrocks Wrote:  

My only real fear is providing for a family financially. I don't want her to work.

The only advice I have here is to set down the boundaries. You've got good skills and you should be able to live well off what you're making, but I'm sure you know, it's easy to spend whatever's there.

I still maintain that being a stay at home mom is not a full time job. In the early years it's closer to FT, but realistically... no. And you know what they say about idle hands. If she's a shopper, that's got to be kept in check. She's got to understand that being a stay at home is not a license to be a slug. Encourage the exercise and there's no reason she can't keep doing the volunteer thing too. It's crazy-making staying at home all day and only hanging out with other mommies.

[heavy]

Wow congrats.

Assuming you're right about her being a great girl, have her stay at home and homeschool da chitlins (obv to a certain point).

[Engineer]

Congratulations! This sounds like you both are off to a great start. Don't worry about timing and planning things too much, since as you've seen life throws you curveballs all the time. You sound aware and concerned of the right things.

If I could go back in time to before my kids were born, I'd have committed to take more pix/video of her, them, and everyone at family occasions. 17 years later there's not that much in my files to look at and my memory is shot.

[cmrocks]

(08-21-2014 12:15 PM)RockHard Wrote:  

I still maintain that being a stay at home mom is not a full time job. In the early years it's closer to FT, but realistically... no. And you know what they say about idle hands. If she's a shopper, that's got to be kept in check. She's got to understand that being a stay at home is not a license to be a slug. Encourage the exercise and there's no reason she can't keep doing the volunteer thing too. It's crazy-making staying at home all day and only hanging out with other mommies.

100% agree. The full time stay-at-home Mom's that I know drive me fucking crazy. They're always posting on Facebook to complain about this and that. They have nothing better to do so they start reading sensationalist mommy blogs and that just leads to trouble.

She expressed wanting to stay at home while the kids are very young and then going back to work part time until they're in school then back to work full time.

[cmrocks]

(08-21-2014 12:31 PM)Engineer Wrote:  

Congratulations! This sounds like you both are off to a great start. Don't worry about timing and planning things too much, since as you've seen life throws you curveballs all the time. You sound aware and concerned of the right things.

If I could go back in time to before my kids were born, I'd have committed to take more pix/video of her, them, and everyone at family occasions. 17 years later there's not that much in my files to look at and my memory is shot.

Good point. I'm terrible at this sort of thing. We've been together for two years and we probably have 20 photos of the two of us. Both of us hardly use social media. We've been engaged for 6 months now and still haven't taken those photos yet.

I should probably get some good photos done ASAP before she starts growing haha.

[Virtus]

Congratulations. Kids are great!

Yet. I don't know your situation and do not want to insult anyone, but if you are careful and pull out when you are not wrapped. please do paternity testing.

My kid was a deliberate attempt at getting pregnant. In 20 odd years of fucking I've not wrapped up with my ltrs pretty much ever. every single time it's cim or on body. not once a scare. again I don't know if you're control is great but it's just a forum wisdom distilled so to speak.

[game_ethic]

Congrats. I wish you best of luck.

[Old Fritz]

Don't mean to be a party pooper but are you 100% sure that you are the one that got her pregnant?

[cmrocks]

cali and Fritz,

No, I'm not 100% sure it's mine. Without testing, it's not possible to be 100% certain. I'm pretty sure it's mine. I keep pretty close tabs on what she is doing and she's never given me any indication at all that she would cheat.

[rdvirus]

Congrats dude, all the best!

[Heathree]

Congratulations bro.

[WilliamShatnersEgo]

All prudent men have genetic paternity tests done. She just might be really good at covering her tracks.

[TravelerKai]

Congrats! Join the club! Me and my wife have a newborn right now as well.

You should read a book about fertility sometime. Like this authoritative source

Just because she was on her rag, won't mean anything at all. Anytime you bust inside, there is a chance. In fact, there chances are strong you will have a girl as well. Those sperm carrying that chromosome can survive a little bit longer until after the period is over and that egg is ready. That's one of the reasons there are more women than men on the planet.

Also, no one is ever financially ready for this stuff. Just relax and concentrate on a healthy delivery. You are Canadian as well. At least you wont have a hospital try to charge you 1,500 dollars for a fucking ultrasound like here in the USA. Your country is more family friendly.

You guys will be alright. Feel free to pick my brain on stuff and do not be shy to ask for advice from others with recent kids. Knowing what to do is invaluable as it saves time and money.

[samsamsam]

^^ I've already given you a rep point TK so I can't give you another.

But you have been a welcome addition to the forum and really seem like a genuine helpful guy with great knowledge.

Congrats on your newborn!

Be well.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Doesn't look so bad for you.

Got a fairly decent job - you are not on a 20.000$ income and are doing well.
You are Red Pill and familiar with Game.
Your wife is thus already selected differently.

So - all in good shape & set to go. Congrats.

Why you wish to marry is another point since it is not necessary in many regions in the West.

Also you might consider looking into orthomolecular supplementation during pregnancy - prevents 98% of birth defects - from minor to major & also creates a stronger better version of your future kid.

Everything considered - you are better prepared to be a father than 90%-95% of the male population.

[TravelerKai]

(08-21-2014 03:00 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

^^ I've already given you a rep point TK so I can't give you another.

But you have been a welcome addition to the forum and really seem like a genuine helpful guy with great knowledge.

Congrats on your newborn!

Be well.

I do it because I would not be here to tell you if someone else had not helped me earlier. I hope that all of you sometime will stop and make time to help another fellow brother out. We must support each other in the Manosphere in any way we can.

[renotime]

That reminds me, I need to go get a vasectomy.

[TravelerKai]

(08-21-2014 12:37 PM)cmrocks Wrote:  

(08-21-2014 12:15 PM)RockHard Wrote:  

I still maintain that being a stay at home mom is not a full time job. In the early years it's closer to FT, but realistically... no. And you know what they say about idle hands. If she's a shopper, that's got to be kept in check. She's got to understand that being a stay at home is not a license to be a slug. Encourage the exercise and there's no reason she can't keep doing the volunteer thing too. It's crazy-making staying at home all day and only hanging out with other mommies.

100% agree. The full time stay-at-home Mom's that I know drive me fucking crazy. They're always posting on Facebook to complain about this and that. They have nothing better to do so they start reading sensationalist mommy blogs and that just leads to trouble.

She expressed wanting to stay at home while the kids are very young and then going back to work part time until they're in school then back to work full time.

My wife stays home and I keep it that way. She is Chinese and her traditional upbringing makes it easy for me to not worry about certain shit like getting fat. In fact, right now she is already back to her previous weight. Her cans are huge, but I'm not complaining about it. She takes care of the baby and stuff while I concentrate on work. It's alot of pressure on me, but we all need new motivations as men to keep us moving forward. New challenges will renew your fire and energy.

[kaotic]

Congrats man you're in the right financial situation with the right woman, nothing wrong with keeping it and starting your family.

I wish you the best, unfortunately I'm in your situation but not financially in your shoes so had to get a shmasmortion.

Can you tell me something ?

When she first told you, what exactly were the first few thoughts that came to your mind ?

[AneroidOcean]

You're happy. That's great, congratulations. Way too many kids being born without positive circumstances like yours.

For the rest of you not in this situation, consider condom usage or multiple forms of contraceptive. I don't understand people's blind faith in pulling out and having so much self control.

I'm a great driver, but every once in a long while I slip up and do something stupid or make a mistake without realizing it until afterwards. That's why I have insurance with high limits.

I see contraceptives as a form of insurance for sex.

[tylerdurden1993]

Quote:

We normally use condoms but around her time of the month, we don't bother and I just pull out.

The pull out method works again.

On the bright side at least it's with a girl you care about who seems like a cool chick. Not some ONS from the club lol.

Congratulations anyway hope it works out for you.