[BarryInSF]

I'm still a newbie myself but I'd like to share something that worked for me, if you are still shy talking to women or people in general: improv.

If you don't know what improv is, it's performing a scene on stage with no preparation or script. I discovered it a few years ago when I was looking for ways to come out of my shell. And boy did it work!

Practicing improv will has two direct benefits to improving your game:
1. Once you are comfortable performing on stage, talking to people or even large groups becomes nothing. Took a while for me but it happened.
2. If you can enter a scene not knowing what you or the other person is going to say, you can handle any social situation.

If you're severely shy, try joining a public speaking club like Toastmasters, which is a lot more structured plus you can prepare your scripts in advance. I did this for two years before starting improv, but improv is waaaaay more fun. There are improv schools in most cities. Major cities will have several to choose from.

I've been doing improv for a few years but I only recently started approaching women again and I was shocked by how much easier it is than before. I feel it gave me the foundation I needed to start working on my game and I highly recommend it for anyone who needs to come out of their shell. Just don't wait as long as I did! If I could do it again I'd do improv and gamework in parallel.


Barry

[Basil Ransom]

I'd sound a note of caution about improv: almost no one who does it is cool.

If you don't have a very strong personality or style to begin with, the people around whom you learn to socialize may have a formative effect on you. As in, you might take on the demeanor of improv people. These people, as a rule, are incredibly dorky, and that could rub off on a novice.

If you can, it's much better to hang out around cool, jocular dudes, as long as they involve you in conversations, and fuck with you a good amount.

I took an improv class.

[Dalaran1991]

Why take an indirect way to adress the matter?

Cold approach is the best cure for shyness. You learn to talk to strangers and seduce girls at the same time.

There s no shortcut to game, like Roosh said.

I havent met one men who could entertain a bunch of girls but could not entertain a large audience.

[HankRearden]

(07-18-2014 04:23 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

Why take an indirect way to adress the matter?

Cold approach is the best cure for shyness. You learn to talk to strangers and seduce girls at the same time.

There s no shortcut to game, like Roosh said.

I havent met one men who could entertain a bunch of girls but could not entertain a large audience.

Not sure I agree that cold approaching is the best way. I feel like it's jumping a lot of steps.

I think improv is a great idea, although perhaps don't rely on it too heavily as I can see what Basil is saying. I was going to type that all the guys I know who did improv are really cool and social now, but when I started to think about it I remembered that one is gay, one is probably still in the closet and actually just had a mental breakdown in my arms, one is awkward, one deals drugs, one is a normal and cool guy who gets no ass, and one gets a lot of pussy and is really social. Meh.

Public speaking is great but not to be relied upon. I had a lot of success in that and competed internationally but here I can definitely say that a lot of weird, beta motherfuckers dominated. Creative Destruction is a national debating champion and I'm sure he can attest to that.

[BarryInSF]

(07-18-2014 04:23 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

I havent met one men who could entertain a bunch of girls but could not entertain a large audience.

Or vice versa. Which is my point.

[BarryInSF]

(07-18-2014 10:51 AM)HankRearden Wrote:  

Not sure I agree that cold approaching is the best way. I feel like it's jumping a lot of steps.

Soup makes an excellent argument for starting small and working your way up in this thread.

[Nascimento]

In high school I had some cute girls show me interest but I failed to do anything about it whatsoever because I was 'too shy'.

My first ever approach took many mental rehearsals and hesitations and missed opportunities before I finally did it. I showed interest in a girl I had never met before. Although I did it with a trembling voice and very sweaty hands and nervous posture.

Nowadays I can go out sober by myself and have fun nights out with memorable interactions. I have had nights where I have pulled on my own, sober.

It's about working your way up. Dive into the deep end and take on that social fear.

Here are some ideas I've written about that have helped me: http://www.returnofkings.com/18097/why-y...sober-game

[CJ]

I'm not posting to debate if improv is fun or not, and if it works for you great, but the best way to overcome shyness is to just become more talkative in general.

Start being more chatty with people you don't know, like at the check-out lane, drive-thru, when you go in to pay for your gas, buy your liquor, or whatever. Hell, ask people questions (even if you already know the answer) like for directions or opinions, just to get in the habit of talking to strangers.

Meanwhile, the absolute BEST way to overcome shyness is to experience as much rejection as possible, with this mantra in the back of your head:

"Each rejection brings me closer to my next bang."

Remember, rejection is a good thing, and eventually you get to a point where you accept it, learn from it, and grow stronger.

[Kickb]

It seems that shyness will never completely go away for some people.
I made like thirty thousand calls at my last job and I still get some butterflys when I call people.

It's annoying and it doesn't make sense but you have to get used to working around it. After a couple approaches you should start feeling less shy.

[Levi]

second that on the whole improve nerds could poison a novice idea. I think it would be a good starting point to just practice freestyle lying, meaning pick a day where you go out "in character" so to speak and do your approaches that way if your really on the far side of anxiety about it. As far as improv....not for me

[BarryInSF]

Thanks to everyone for getting me thinking about improv in a different way. While I do stand by my original point that it's a great way to get over social anxiety, this thread has made me realize that improv has probably done as much good for me in that area as it possibly can. So I'm going to take a break for while, to make more time for other activities. Plus there are way cooler hobbies to talk about with women.

P.S. I'll probably go back one day because it's so much damn FUN.

[AnonymousBosch]

You could do improv, and have a restless, unimpressed audience politely forcing laughs at your desperate attempts at humour.

Or you could regularly cold approach, which is much the same, just with possibility of a bang.

Eventually, you'll realise it's just a rejection, and one person's opinion of you isn't the end of the world. That's when you'll stop giving a fuck, and your game will improve because girls will notice you don't care about impressing them.

[Ensam]

Improv is great training for Agree & Amplify:
1) Never deny.
2) Add detail.

So basically, "Yes, and..." + "Not only that, but...". Practice that during your conversations and you'll be golden.

I just saved you $700 on improv classes. You can thank me later.

[eradicator]

if you are planning on being an actor, and doing commercial auditions in hollywood, you absolutely must have solid improv training. i don't even remember the last time I went in for a commercial audition where they did not ask me to improvise.

It is against sag rules to ask this, but they usually do anyways.

Yes the classes are full of drama nerds. would i recommend taking an improv class to someone who wants to learn game and get better at conversations and get women into bed? maybe.

if you are completely socially aloof and never talk to anyone, and want to break out of your shell, yeah taking an improv course might help you get your ideas out if you find yourself stuck in your head and not saying what you want to say. if you think you might actually enjoy the improv, then sure, go ahead. if you want to get good at playing the role of a clown, taking an improv class certainly won't hurt.

If you have no desire to run that sort of game, or do not think it is something you would enjoy, then it's probably not going to be worth your time or money. A lot of people sign up and pay for an improv class and go to the first class and hate it and decide it is absolutely not for them and do not come back. i would suggest trying to see some shows first at the school or theater you are looking at taking classes at before signing up for any classes. if you are going to take classes at an actual improv school like ucb, iowest, second city, or groundlings, they are the real deal and not a scam. if you are going someplace like comedy sportz or some other hack, you might want to check out some of their shows first. I have known some solid guys that work and teach at comedy sportz, so they are not all garbage, but what they do is not really as advanced as what you would get from one of the schools i mentioned.

I've taken improv classes, been on harold teams, booked commercials that require improv.

[scorpion]

Semi OT but not deserving its own thread or even a quick search: has anyone taken both acting and improv classes? I haven't done either, but I'm wondering how useful each would be. As AB pointed out, it seems like a good deal of improv skills could be developed organically simply through doing a lot of approaching and socializing. With acting, however, it seems like you might be able to pick up some useful tips and tricks that you otherwise wouldn't, specifically with really learning to control your body, posture and voice at a very fine level. Just thinking out loud here, for that reason it seems like acting would be more useful, at least for guys who are already good at approaching and developing rapport. Anyone comment on this?

[eradicator]

Again, only study it if you have an actual interest in it.

Something I would suggest to just about anyone would be a voice class. I cringe when I read guys talking about on here how they want to talk with a deeper voice, it would be more masculine to deepen their voice etc. If you are trying to talk outside of your natural vocal octave, it will just sound off. I would compare the guys who try to talk with a deeper voice to the women who talk with vocal fry. Neither one is using their actual voice and it just sounds wrong. People might not know exactly what is wrong with you when they meet you, but they will definitely be given the impression that something is off about you.

[Chewbacon]

(07-21-2014 08:51 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

Again, only study it if you have an actual interest in it.

Something I would suggest to just about anyone would be a voice class. I cringe when I read guys talking about on here how they want to talk with a deeper voice, it would be more masculine to deepen their voice etc. If you are trying to talk outside of your natural vocal octave, it will just sound off. I would compare the guys who try to talk with a deeper voice to the women who talk with vocal fry. Neither one is using their actual voice and it just sounds wrong. People might not know exactly what is wrong with you when they meet you, but they will definitely be given the impression that something is off about you.

When you say voice class, do you mean like singing, or tuning one's vocals?

If the latter, do you have any recommendations? I did a google search and all that came up were music vocals.

[eradicator]

I was talking about linklater technique. Check the other thread. As for Improv, if you are not Caucasian, you get to take classes free at ucb.

Improv is generally not a good place to meet hot women. There will be a few exceptions but it is mostly big grrls that do Improv.

[Virtus]

(07-21-2014 08:30 PM)scorpion Wrote:  

Semi OT but not deserving its own thread or even a quick search: has anyone taken both acting and improv classes? I haven't done either, but I'm wondering how useful each would be. As AB pointed out, it seems like a good deal of improv skills could be developed organically simply through doing a lot of approaching and socializing. With acting, however, it seems like you might be able to pick up some useful tips and tricks that you otherwise wouldn't, specifically with really learning to control your body, posture and voice at a very fine level. Just thinking out loud here, for that reason it seems like acting would be more useful, at least for guys who are already good at approaching and developing rapport. Anyone comment on this?

Do you like mimes or clowns better?

Different ballparks. go do some improv, go do some acting. improv can get pretty complicated in the types of things it teaches

http://www.iesa.org/documents/activities...andout.pdf

http://learnimprov.com/?page_id=35

http://www.dangoldstein.com/howtoimprovise.html

then there is Meisner

http://info.pantheater.com/bid/52484/Mei...rov-Acting

which is kind of like what Jerry and George were doing all the time in Seinfeld

[PapayaTapper]

(07-21-2014 04:30 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

You could do improv, and have a restless, unimpressed audience politely forcing laughs at your desperate attempts at humour.

Or you could regularly cold approach, which is much the same, just with possibility of a bang.

Eventually, you'll realise it's just a rejection, and one person's opinion of you isn't the end of the world. That's when you'll stop giving a fuck, and your game will improve because girls will notice you don't care about impressing them.

For me nothing is as or has ever been as powerful as truly not giving a fuck

[horn]

Improv is great practice for game. Most places there may not even be 10 people in the audience. either you'll kill it or bomb, either way you have a drink and go out for the night feeling hot, or IDGAF. Either mindset is good.

[NovaVirtu]

I've done 2 improv classes and performed in a public show. It was a lot of fun and as previous posters have said it really teaches you to think on your feet, agree and amplify (yes and..) etc...my instructor even said he had "self proclaimed pickup artists" take his class because they believed it made them better at pickup!!

If you're doing improv on a stage in front of your class, or a public audience, you can do it with one women. Another way to look at it- my instructor was very good, but HARSH. If you were fucking it up, he would not only call you out on it in the middle of your performance, but proceed to deconstruct why each aspect of what you just said was lame- with everyone staring at you.

Nothing even remotely like that is going to happen when conversing with a girl.