[Truth Teller]

(07-17-2014 07:15 PM)BarryInSF Wrote:  

I read the following very old post on Roosh's blog:

Quote:

You should be able to talk for hours without stopping. If a crowd wouldn’t form, you’re not interesting. There’s ways to become interesting, but it’s probably not by what you’re doing now.

Great advice but a little vague, so I'm seeking advice. How did YOU become more interesting?

I went out and lived my life.

Another thing you can do to be more interesting: change your tonality and pace. Calibrate your tonality. Listening to the same pace and same tone is very, very boring. You can tell the most boring story in the world, but if you tell it with good tonality and pacing, people will find it interesting.

[anotherblond]

A lot of solid advice through the whole thread.

I traveled more then most people in their 50's to become "interesting" but even before that just try to make every day a bit different. I have years of my life that blend together because i did the same thing every day, and nothing to show.

AMAZING guy for learning how to tell a great story from nothing.
It's a 4 part series.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loxJ3FtCJJA


Watch Seinfeld.....every single episode and you will learn how to banter. I usually watch one before a date to just get myself in the mood to just talk. about whatever comes up.

[lurker]

Go a month where you say yes to everything. Someone invites you somewhere? Yes. Some opportunity comes up that you wouldn't ordinarily care about doing? Yes. Someone asks for help on some project? Yes.

To be interesting, it's easiest to have interesting experiences.

[BadWolf]

Quote:

Great advice but a little vague, so I'm seeking advice. How did YOU become more interesting?

See the world for what it really is... you will know you are more interesting when you have nothing to talk about with the average person.

[Glider]

I started climbing mountains.

[AnonymousBosch]

(07-20-2014 04:08 PM)BadWolf Wrote:  

See the world for what it really is... you will know you are more interesting when you have nothing to talk about with the average person.

[Beyond Borders]

(07-19-2014 02:18 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

A few more thoughts came to me on this topic while I was brushing my teeth this morning.

I think if you have to try to be interesting, then you're not interesting. It's the same with confidence. You are either confident or you are not. If you are trying to be confident, then you're not confident. While I think "fake it till you make it" applies to some areas of life, I don't think you can fake being interesting or confident, anyone that's good at reading people can easily see through it. I don't think anyone should ever try to force it.

"Interesting" can be really subjective. Just like looks where one guy's 8 is another guy's 5. Someone that I consider fascinating is someone you may care less about. Personal chemistry has a lot to do with who you find interesting. Sometimes I just "click" with people and our conversation goes on and on and me and the other person have everything in the world to talk about. Then some people I just can't talk to for more than ten minutes as I can't connect with them. We probably just don't find each other interesting. You don't always have control over this. You can't be interesting to everyone. Don't try to be all things to all people or consider it a failure if any one particular person didn't find you interesting. No different than looks.

One thing all interesting people have in common is that they are passionate. They may not be extroverts that light up the room, but when you talk to them they tend to be intense people that hold your attention. And not necessarily in the best way. That guy Rodger Elliot, the virgin shooter was pretty damn interesting to me. Even if morbidly so, but what made his monologues intriguing was their raw intensity. He himself was not interesting, but his intensity was. When I mentioned above that sometimes it's not your stories but how you tell them, I think it comes down to this. Communicating that you are an intense and passionate person. You see some people talk and they are just full of life and experiences, victories and tribulations. That's contagious. That's why everyone leans in to listen, they want to be galvanized by that person's passion. And just like with confidence, I think passion is a difficult thing to fake.

Also, don't beat yourself up too much if you feel you aren't interesting enough. Interesting is relative to the people surrounding you. At a gathering of Mormons I'd probably be the most interesting guy in the building. At a table with George Clooney, Mike Tyson, Porfirio Rubirosa and the Dos Equis guy, I'd be feeling woefully inadequate. And I'm sure those 4 guys never give a single thought to whether they are interesting or make any attempt to be. They just are the way they are from their life experience. That doesn't come overnight. It takes years to build naturally and accumulate a depth of life experience. Read the lyrics of notably intense song writers and see how they experience life. It really gives some insight to where you need to be. Don't worry about how interesting you are tonight when you go out. Think about how you'll be in a few years down the line. Start investing in yourself for a more interesting future. Are you taking risks, being open enough to novel experiences, pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone? Talking to everyone you can and seeing what they have to offer? Or playing it safe all the time?

Some great thoughts, but I disagree that you can't "fake it till you make it" with confidence.

Watch Amy Cuddy's Ted Talk about how body language affects testosterone and cortisol production in your body; it's a strong indicator that faking confidence can yield some very interesting results. The link isn't a small one either - it's very significant. And the effect is nearly instantaneous. http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_...ho_you_are

I feel like passion for life or passion in your communication style could be developed the same way.

[Giovonny]

Why do you want to become "more interesting"??

To get girls?

Girls don't care how "interesting" you ARE..

They hardly even know what "interesting" is. To them, "interesting" means cute, funny, and cool.

They only care how "interesting" you APPEAR.

If you are good looking, she may be interested.

If you are highly confident, she may be interested.

If you have status, she may be interested.

If you are dressed well, she may be interested.

If you have charisma, she may be interested.

If you are wealthy, she may be interested.

If you are a good conversationalist, she may be interested.

The more of these traits you have, the more interesting you will appear.

Notice that NONE of these things actually require you to live an "interesting" life.

*****

If you want girls, you should work on your appearance and your charisma.

Traveling the world is not interesting to a girl unless you can tell the story in an entertaining way.

"Being interesting" to girls is about APPEARING interesting.

*****

If you just want to live a more interesting life, than just do things that are of interest to you -- but, don't expect girls to want to fuck you just because you follow your own interests.

******

I live a boring life, I never travel, I drive a shitty car, I don't go out, I'm lower middle class..

I still get girls. In fact, I am now getting hotter girls then ever before!

Why? Because I worked on my Game!

I learned how to build muscle on my body, I learned how to dress, I learned how to become confident, I learned how to talk to girls, I fixed my logistics, etc.

I didn't get more "interesting", I just got more "interesting" looking and sounding.

[BarryInSF]

(07-19-2014 02:18 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

I think if you have to try to be interesting, then you're not interesting. It's the same with confidence. You are either confident or you are not. If you are trying to be confident, then you're not confident. While I think "fake it till you make it" applies to some areas of life, I don't think you can fake being interesting or confident, anyone that's good at reading people can easily see through it. I don't think anyone should ever try to force it.

Good point. This thread has made me realize that my life is a lot more interesting than I thought it was. I'm well-travelled, I've owned two businesses (including a successful porn site), I went back to school for my MBA as an adult. Now I have a cool job at a well-known company. I also have several hobbies.

So I'm going to work with what I've got.

(07-19-2014 02:18 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

"Interesting" can be really subjective. Just like looks where one guy's 8 is another guy's 5. Someone that I consider fascinating is someone you may care less about. Personal chemistry has a lot to do with who you find interesting. Sometimes I just "click" with people and our conversation goes on and on and me and the other person have everything in the world to talk about. Then some people I just can't talk to for more than ten minutes as I can't connect with them. We probably just don't find each other interesting. You don't always have control over this. You can't be interesting to everyone. Don't try to be all things to all people or consider it a failure if any one particular person didn't find you interesting. No different than looks.

Also true. With certain groups of people, I am the life of the party, or at least the funniest guy in the room (in a good way). I'd like to expand the number of situations where I feel this way.

(07-19-2014 02:18 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

One thing all interesting people have in common is that they are passionate. They may not be extroverts that light up the room, but when you talk to them they tend to be intense people that hold your attention. And not necessarily in the best way. That guy Rodger Elliot, the virgin shooter was pretty damn interesting to me. Even if morbidly so, but what made his monologues intriguing was their raw intensity. He himself was not interesting, but his intensity was. When I mentioned above that sometimes it's not your stories but how you tell them, I think it comes down to this. Communicating that you are an intense and passionate person. You see some people talk and they are just full of life and experiences, victories and tribulations. That's contagious. That's why everyone leans in to listen, they want to be galvanized by that person's passion. And just like with confidence, I think passion is a difficult thing to fake.

Yes! This is what I need to work on: sharing my stories with passion and intensity. I know I have it, but it doesn't come through when I speak because I'm too nervous. Nervousness is also why I blank when it's time to share an interesting story. Also probably insecurity that my story isn't "good enough."

Thanks to everyone for all the amazing answers. This was better than a therapy session, and cheaper too!

[BarryInSF]

Another note: I have a close friend who is very good at talking and sharing stories. So when I saw her last week, I listened more closely than usual and I was surprised to notice that none of her stories were about amazing life experiences. They were all about relatively mundane things that had happened to her recently. So it wasn't the story that was interesting. It was the way she told it.

[Santoro]

Gio hits it out of the park on this

Appearance is everything. Only in the long haul will you ever have to back it up. With girls, at least initially, if you push the right 'interesting buttons' (aka have game) there's no other 'proof' needed (be it cooking, rich, musical ability, fame, or whatever). This is also why 'normal' guys hate on 'shallow artists guys that get laid'...it's obviously surface deep but chicks ain't seeing it. Either they can't or they choose not to.

How else can DJ's push play at 'live shows'?

How else can 'live bands' play to backing tracks?

People are ONLY interested in what it looks/feels like. Substance is something us guys on the forum might talk about, but out in the real world the percentage of people that care is MINIMAL

Now it's just a matter of how deep you want to go. Some people lose themselves trying to establish this new/enhanced (superficial) identity. It's funny because while girls might fawn over you, most well-traveled men will call BS within 5 seconds of meeting you if you try to pull the 'I'm cool b/c of my appearance' card and don't have experience/knowledge to back it up.

Many guys (MikeCF writes about this alot) are of the opinion that you should focus on being a masculine man and the rest will fall into place. I would say this is a more valuable path (long term) than struggling with your 'appearances'(short term).

That said, a minimal effort with appearances can parlay into a great stepping stone for getting everything else together because you'll see some short term success.

"Shyness magnified by natural intellectual superiority into a posture of heartless disdain isn't uncommon in artists"

-from Stanley Kubrick's biography

[travolta]

I've become interesting by doing a lot of cool things. I've gone skydiving a bunch of times and climbed large mountains. I make money from my computer, have traveled to 26 countries, and have sex with locals girls in many of the places I go.

I started doing cool things because when I grew up I was always a weird kid who never got any girls. To compensate for never getting any girls I'd do cool shit like skydiving, extreme sports, and international traveling (so I could get laid easier). As a result, I've lived more than 99% of the world will before they die, and I'm in my mid 20's.

Lately girls find me interesting because I fuck them better than most guys they've ever met (it's easier to be a girls "bet she's ever had" in foreign countries where girls have less sexual partners and in the US).

[Goldmund]

Read. Read the classics. Hemingway, Vonnegut, Hesse, Orwell, Tolstoy, Stienbeck, Nabokov, Kafka, Keats...

Matthew Henry's Commentary on the bible is incredible and will change the way you think.

It's not just the stories the men tell in their books, but the way they see the world is brilliant.

Younger you get started, the better.

[Brosemite]

(07-21-2014 02:05 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

I didn't get more "interesting", I just got more "interesting" looking and sounding.

Exactly.

Being a person of importance is one thing.

Being able to "project why you are of relevance" to others is a completely skill altogether that takes time, practice, & trial/error.

[Biologist]

I agree with the other posters here who have said that appearing interesting by creating an aura of confidence will attract girls, and that this is probably the most important factor ultimately.

However, to me this seems like somewhat of a "fake it until you make it" type of strategy, and is probably not very sustainable when considering gaming in the long term.

For the long term, it's easier to just become legitimately more interesting. I have found that it's easy to make yourself legitimately more interesting by doing the following:

1) Travelling: travel whenever you get the chance. If you don't have the opportunity to travel overseas due to money constraints or because of other circumstances, you can always just visit interesting or quirky places in your city/state/region. Exploring is always an eye-opening experience.

2) Reading: whenever you have free time, read widely about a range of topics such as history, geography, politics, science, technology, etc.

3) Take up at least one hobby that you're legitimately interested in: this can be absolutely anything (a sport, musical instrument, language, martial art etc), but it is of utmost importance that you are driven by genuine interest. For example, don't take up skydiving because you may think that it will make you sound cool and interesting even though you hate it - you'll end up just looking like a try-hard.