[J556]

Experienced players-

How can newbies see themselves and minimize frustration and pain from not having a lot of notches to after the fact of getting a good amount of notches?

How you thought about yourself and women-before and after mastering game, etc.


Show us what its like to sit and dine from Ruth Chris to all the McDonalds value meal patrons out here.

[WestIndianArchie]

Your opinion of yourself improves.

Your opinion of women, which started in the heavens, comes down to Earth. As the years go on, you pine for those times when you at least believed that love was pure and a conquering force.

But when I became a man, I put away childish things.

WIA

[Flyjin]

A guy who is dirt poor will seek out any means to make a few bucks.

A guy scraping by on a minimum wage job dreams of the day he is making 70K a year.

And that guy making 70K is focused on hitting six figures.

Multi-millionaires want to become billionaires.

Don't think that fucking a few decent-looking girls will somehow make your life complete. In a dry spell, it is understandable to obsess over getting laid. But once you get your dick wet a few times, you are only going to be seeking more women, hotter women.

The game and the pursuit never stops.

The journey of honest introspection, self-improvement and development is what you need to focus on. Whatever neuroses, insecurities, etc. that you carry are hindering your success with women, and those stem from something bigger, most likely your teenage or childhood years. Find your inner demons and destroy them, or at least channel that energy in a positive way. Build a solid foundation and you'll find that acquiring notches is a hollow and meaningless way to assess your self-worth.

Girls never change.
They will always be slaves to their emotions.
They will always be seeking out the highest-value man that they can secure commitment from.

Work on becoming that high-value man. Adopt an attitude of abundance and non-neediness. Good luck.

[Travesty]

Women will open up much more and be more honest especially after sex. Unfortunately the shit they spill makes your perception of them as long term material worse (i.e. their histories and how they think and interact in the dating market).

The longer you go any fumble or mistake you have with a woman is looked at as more of a comedy even if she is hot. You have just seen the movie too many times to know there is another girl around the corner.

What you consider a dry spell becomes much shorter which is frustrating. A month or two without a new girl, I get very anxious.

Lots of things you saw as cute from women now you see as ploys to test your frame.

Bottom line you have much more self control and self importance. You really know how rare a girl is your want to long term with. She may only come around once every year or two even if you are banging girls left and right during those lapses. Knowing how rare this comes around just generally lowers your expectations about women in general. You don't show up to dates excited or even after having a great day or night cold approach that ends in a number or bang. The rarity of a real connection to get excited about makes it this way. The strong drive for sex stays because you know it is possible to do it again and again.

[Samseau]

The more you bang, the less you care. Yet you also become more relentless in chasing them when it's time to hunt. So basically when you see a girl and want her, you just go for it no matter what. Then if you bang - great. If you don't bang - whatever, there will be more. So you stop caring. When a relationship is over - whatever, there will be more.

Although on one hand, I do spend time on getting women (which is a form of relinquishing my power), on the other hand, women have no power over me. A bit of a paradox.

I square the circle by making sure I do not spend more than 1-2 nights per week chasing women (not weekends either). So far this year I've basically only gone out once per week. Most of my time is spent on myself, which is what I want right now.

I view women like any other drug habit.

[Beyond Borders]

Since most guys will make statements about disillusionment, I'll focus on the fact that you develop new illusions as well.

My trust for women has gone way, way down over the years, for example. And I don't know that this isn't more about me than the women.

Nothing new, but if I tried to have anything resembling a relationship, this would make it hard for me to be faithful. Or if I was controlling and behaving myself, I would be constantly suspicious and resentful, wondering if I was being played for a fool.

There may some truth to the idea that cheaters, for instance, tend to be the most paranoid. It's the same dynamic if you just have a high notch count.

Once you've run through a lot of sexual partners and done a lot of questionable shit, you start seeing that behavior in others, even where it doesn't exist. And it doesn't help that a lot of the women you've slept with have been the shadiest, most sexually active of the bunch, which further skews your perspective (i.e. most guys are running through all the same women).

But dig a little deeper and you often realize that you're just seeing sexual or treacherous phantoms where they don't exist. There are some people fucking like rabbits, but there are also a lot of people who are not, and if you screen harder, you can avoid ending up in a relationship with the former - they're pretty good at giving themselves away. After all, giving themselves away is how they get laid...

But most people accidentally end up in relationships rather than making a conscious choice, and usually with someone they're already banging, so this screening process never happens. Thus creating even more lack of confidence in the choice.

I think this dynamic is also one reason they say people who have had more sexual partners will find it harder, if possible at all, to ever be satisfied with one. It may be just as much about trust as it is about sexual satisfaction. Even seeing your ole' lady exchange a smile with another guy, you see an unrealized potential there, and you know that given the right circumstances, if you were that guy, there's at least a chance, no matter how slim, that you could have capitalized.

And sometimes just thinking a guy could have fucked your girl (one you're into) is almost as bad as thinking he did.

But this ignores the fact that potential for sexual encounters goes unrealized far more often than not. That people flirt a little and then go their separate ways all the time - even faithful women enjoy the validation. Or that plenty of women place their current relationships, their goals, or their family over a random sexual encounter or long-term fling.

You can understand logically that your perspective is skewed, but this means nothing to your emotions. You've already seen and lived the promiscuous side of human nature, so when you see these things, you "feel" that everyone is fucking or thinking about fucking, and that you're the only person who isn't taking advantage of that. And the last thing a guy who has had so many options wants to do is to go from being the player to being the chump (ego, Baby).

It may be a warped perspective of the world, but you can't unsee what you've seen.

For the record, there really are women in the world who would make me look like a churchboy too. Well, maybe that's a strong statement, but at least quite a few that would match my numbers. But they're hardly the only kind or the norm, and when you fuck around with those women too much, you start to see them where they are not.

As a player, it's your "baggage" - and involvement in a community that over-emphasizes the looser side of sexuality makes that baggage even heavier.

Can it be overcome? If you wanted to overcome it, I think it could be through spiritual searching, "inner game" work, and meditation.

But then again, most players don't ever want to completely stop bad enough to engage in that kind of long-term campaign.

You very much get addicted to the variety too. One of the catch 22s of being a man is that you naturally desire a lot of women but also desire your women to only have you. The more you satisfy the first desire, the less you believe you can ever fully realize the second.

Most players, as evidenced above, learn to not care (or at least learn to pretend they don't care). This can work, but it also cuts you off from the possibility of deeper, more intimate human relationships.

I guess in the end you choose your battles.

If you don't, they tend to choose you.

[AnonymousBosch]

Master game, and there will come a day where you can't accurately guess your number of notches, because you stopped counting, since your ego is secure enough to no longer needed the validation.

[Akula]

For me I'm not really sure it's about 'mastering game' as that's something I don't think I'll ever do - will be a lifelong pursuit for me at least.

There's so many different forms of game and while I'm generally reasonably good at approaching & generating attraction initially (and eventually getting bangs) I think 'relationship' game is the trickiest part to master - i.e. once you 'seal the deal' where do you go from there? For the most guys it doesn't matter but now that I want to have kids it does more and more.

Typically I tend to just move on and lose most of the girls I'm with after just a few months...partly bc I get bored often times but it's also me not following through with game beyond the first few encounters. Something I need to work on maybe, but once the 'thrill of the chase' is over I seem to get antsy and want to move on more quickly the older I get. I guess as the other posters have said, women just don't impress me much anymore and after 30-40 bangs with a lot of relationships thrown in the mix often they seem more trouble than they are worth. That said, I know that ultimately I can't live without them.

For me, just realizing that the game never ends but that there will always be more women and having 'abundance mentality' is the key point. Having been with enough women and seeing the whole game for what it is frankly allowed me to better enjoy time doing things on my own with friends and family and to have alone time for self-improvement.

[rlongo924]

The pedestal totally disappears, simplest way to put it.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Before: It's like milling around a crowded room wondering what's behind the magic curtain, thinking how awesome it would be to invited back with the rest of the beautiful people

Some of the assembled crowd spends their time looking for "shortcuts" to get past the curtain

Others in the crowd are begging to get a glimpse, even resorting to tricks/gimmicks

The remaining few of us realize that the only way to get back to the VIP lounge is hard work, approaches, rejections, flakes, trial and error and lays.

Once behind the curtain you see her for who she really is sans makeup, and realize that a lot of her power is gained through posturing

After you get a few of 'her' types under your belt, you realize that ALL her "power" rests between her legs and now that you've defanged the dragon she becomes a kitty cat and the power shifts.

Not only have you passed through the curtain with self-assurance, now you've lit up a cigar and got your feet up.

[Skotch]

I wouldn't call myself a veteran yet, but game has totally changed everything for me. There's a reason it's likened to being unplugged from The Matrix.

After about the 2nd girl who sits on your bed and texts her boyfriend with your semen still caked on her face, you won't think much of women anymore. After the 10th, you'll be irredeemably red pill.

Your opinion of yourself will change drastically. I have the confidence to do almost anything now. I can't even remember the last time I was nervous. You will also notice that women just react differently to you. It's incredible, especially when other men notice. I routinely get away with stuff for which most people would be accused of sexual harassment.

It's a whole different world. Keep putting in work, dun.

[Samseau]

(07-15-2014 02:50 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

My trust for women has gone way, way down over the years, for example. And I don't know that this isn't more about me than the women.

Nothing new, but if I tried to have anything resembling a relationship, this would make it hard for me to be faithful. Or if I was controlling and behaving myself, I would be constantly suspicious and resentful, wondering if I was being played for a fool.

There may some truth to the idea that cheaters, for instance, tend to be the most paranoid. It's the same dynamic if you just have a high notch count.

Although I do not trust women, I also do not understand your point here because I don't care anymore if a woman cheats on me. She's replaceable so it doesn't matter.

[soup]

Agreed. I don't get confused when a girl breaks her word. If anything I usually look at my game to see if I can improve it so that kind of thing will a lower probability if happening in the future. I expect women to go against what they've promised if my game is lacking.

What women say doesn't really matter that much when it comes to game. Same with how they dress. I just imagine them with no clothes on because that's what is really going to matter to me later.

Girls yap and say all sorts of inane things that have no relevance to my mission. They dress in ways to conceal defects or fake like they have something don't (make up, push up bras etc). That's all girl game.

I'm like superman- I use x ray vision to see through the razzle dazzle, smoke screens, shit tests, noise, etc.

Having a lot notches just means having a lot of experiencing. It's cultivating the third eye.. The players eye.

[Byron]

(07-15-2014 09:24 AM)soup Wrote:  

Agreed. I don't get confused when a girl breaks her word. If anything I usually look at my game to see if I can improve it so that kind of thing will a lower probability if happening in the future. I expect women to go against what they've promised if my game is lacking.

What women say doesn't really matter that much when it comes to game. Same with how they dress. I just imagine them with no clothes on because that's what is really going to matter to me later.

Girls yap and say all sorts of inane things that have no relevance to my mission. They dress in ways to conceal defects or fake like they have something don't (make up, push up bras etc). That's all girl game.

I'm like superman- I use x ray vision to see through the razzle dazzle, smoke screens, shit tests, noise, etc.

Having a lot notches just means having a lot of experiencing. It's cultivating the third eye.. The players eye.

[Atlantic]

Excellent post Beyond Borders.

I love when guys breakdown an idea here that I know to be true but haven't been able to fully form yet.

I really enjoyed reading that and feel the exact same way.

[Beyond Borders]

(07-15-2014 09:16 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

(07-15-2014 02:50 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

My trust for women has gone way, way down over the years, for example. And I don't know that this isn't more about me than the women.

Nothing new, but if I tried to have anything resembling a relationship, this would make it hard for me to be faithful. Or if I was controlling and behaving myself, I would be constantly suspicious and resentful, wondering if I was being played for a fool.

There may some truth to the idea that cheaters, for instance, tend to be the most paranoid. It's the same dynamic if you just have a high notch count.

Although I do not trust women, I also do not understand your point here because I don't care anymore if a woman cheats on me. She's replaceable so it doesn't matter.

Did you miss this part of my post?

(07-15-2014 02:50 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Most players, as evidenced above, learn to not care (or at least learn to pretend they don't care). This can work, but it also cuts you off from the possibility of deeper, more intimate human relationships.

Because you just perfectly exemplified it.

What follows may be of interest, but I'm hardly your therapist, so feel free to ignore as you see fit.

As an aside, I may be projecting my own experiences as a general concept here - maybe not everyone has these feelings. That said, I know for a fact a lot of other seasoned womanizers, some even in this space, have wrestled with the same thoughts.

[Suits]

I wouldn't call my game all that impressive.

That's because I only got into the game because I was disappointed in the quality of women I could get and needed a strategy to get the women that I actually desired.

For me, banging different 8's on the regular has never been important or something I put a lot of energy into.

That's because simply having the ability to have no trouble getting 7's that enhance my life is satisfying all on it's own. In fact, when I meet an 8 and we hit it off, the game principles I've learned never fail to stop me from screwing up and missing out on great opportunities with women that I like a lot.

Going from a guy who was wondering what if felt like to kiss a girl to a guy who knows that he is going to intimately experience several new girls that he really likes every year is a huge thing. It's satisfying to always know that my next meal is on the way and to be perfectly aware of how much it's going to take in a particular time and place to taste that meal.

I don't set the bar too high and it's stress free living.

[Lizard King]

Calmness and serenity.

eg: not being worried about a woman's view/opinion of you. Not worrying if they lose interest. Not being phased by basic shit tests because you smash them or laugh at them or ridicule them(the shit test).

Controlling sexual tension instead of being the subject of sexual tension. Remember when you were a teenager and got all tongue-tied or acted nervous around a hot woman? I don't think it is an age thing, because I see some friends of mine lose thier shit completely around attractive women, the opposite of DHV in many ways.

[soup]

You know what else I've been getting bored with sometimes? Girls reaction to my sex. That may sound weird, but when you bang a lot of girls, you tend to get the same reactions in bed.. A lot if them say the same kind if thing. You realize how similar a lot of them are, regardless of how they fit in 1-10 scale.

It's like playing video game and beating the final boss over and over again. It starts to get boring.

I'm caring less and less about them being impressed with what I'm doing in the bedroom, and have been just enjoying the view of doggy style and the feeling of a fresh cunt.

I think once you get a lot of notches your reasons for fucking might change a little.

It all becomes kind of mundane. The adventure aspect starts to die out a little.

It's just nice to eat good meal.. That's what sex becomes. It's not the great dramatic event.. Although it could be intense. I think it's more like that for a lot of girls.

To me it's just what I do now. So when I hit a dry spell it just feels like I'm getting undernourished.

A lot of guys who aren't in the game don't get dry spells because they aren't even trying and aren't used to crushing pussy on the regular. Do they don't feel as out of whack if they are getting a lot of oussy or new pussy.

That's one advantage Bluepill guys have over us.. A certain contentment.. A castrated contentment, but still a sense of peace that we don't really get to have.

[rudebwoy]

I read their eyes and ignore the words.

Before I had a little hope, where now I have very little .

Before I wanted to understand them, now I want them to understand I don't put up with their shit.

Before I looked at marriage as being about love, now I look at it like a financial arrangement.

[BDawg]

(07-17-2014 11:31 AM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

I read their eyes and ignore the words.

[BarryInSF]

I'm no experienced player but it didn't take a lot of notches to improve my self-esteem. In fact I've only slept with three women since I began my journey and I feel like a changed man. No wait, four women.

If you're a true newbie, the only thing that will get you your first notch is confidence:

1. Confidence that if you follow the steps, you will succeed. Why not? Other guys are doing it and they're even sharing their experience with you. And we're all rooting for you.
2. Confidence that you're more attractive than you think. I used to be overweight and I still see myself that way. Plus I know I'm only average-looking. So I was shocked to learn hot women are actually attracted to me.
3. Confidence that women like sex a lot more than society has led us to believe. They want to fuck, so why not you?


Barry

[The Beast1]

It calmed me down greatly. I won't lie, once I hit 25 notches I felt confident in my ability to attract and keep satisfied the women in my life.

I just started getting with a girl who hands down is in my top 3 for attractiveness and you know what? I kinda like her in a blue pilly beta sort of way but at the same time I razz her up really nicely. She eats up the compliment and cuddle and then I call her a dirty whore and am roughing her around.

I used to not be able to look this girl comfortably in the eye she was so cute. Now, she's just another girl. In fact, a lot of super hot women no longer seem unattainable and are just normal people.

It's been a surreal experience attracting a girl of this caliber and keeping her interested! You get hella confidence.

Now, if a girl tells me her background its different. My lust for her is directly proportional to the amount of men she's slept with. Zero however being slightly odd. I'd appreciate a girl who has been with at least 1-5 guys. The higher the notch count though, the less attracted I am to her with numbers above 10 starting to disgust me.

[rudebwoy]

^how do you know their notch count? They all lie.

[Truth Teller]

It's not really notches, it's game in general. The better I get, the more indifferent I become towards women.