[rekruler]

So, background: mid 20's, light hair blue eyes, 5'10, on the skinny side of athletic.

I work for a consulting company and have been flying to the same project site coming up on 12 months, so in order to avoid tax complications I must "work from home" for a month. I have a ton of airline miles so I thought why not work from somewhere exotic. I'd be back in Asia with a quickness except that I need to be within +-2hrs of EST time, which leaves Latin America as my only option.

My question to you guys is: is it worthwhile/feasible to do this? I do not speak any Spanish and have zero dance game, and judging from what I've read here in the past, Spanish is damn near required to have solid success in LA. Regardless, this is more of a paycation than a vacation, and since I'm not really making a huge investment to go, I would not need a huge payoff a la Fisto invades SEA Part I. One or two sexy latinas in my month there and I'd be more than satisfied.

My biggest concern is setting up logistically. I'm entry level and don't do shit on the project, but I still need to be on "green status" in office communicator between 9-5 and dial into a conference call or two. If I do go it'll be the week of 7/21, so I have between now and then to decide if I'm gonna go, where I'm gonna go, and set up my logistics so that I arrive and hit the ground running with a room and internet connection. The last thing I want to do is have to explain to my managers that I can't log into the VPN because I'm in Columbia

What are my goals and resources to accomplish them? Goals: bang 1 or more sexy latinas (tight bubble butts rather than huge asses) and see some cool rainforest shit that LA is known for on the weekends. I would say the purpose of the trip is 70% experience/nature and 30% girls. Most important goal: set shit up so that when I arrive I'm not fucked and unable to actually do my remote work due to apartment/wifi/phone issues.

Living arrangements: don't need my own apartment, if anything my ideal arrangement is to get a shared apartment for a month, preferably with other young dudes I can hang with. Willing to pay up to $600 for that monthly room rental. The apartment itself can be true third world style as long as it's in a safe area and has stable wifi.

What do you guys think? Is the above feasible for someone with no LA experience and Spanish skills with the detailed time constraints? Also, where exactly should I go? Colombia? Brazil?

Cheers.

[Tigre]

Both Colombia and Brazil are fun places to travel.

You could probably rule out Brazil since it would be expensive relative to your budget. Beyond that, it's winter right now in Brazil. That would limit you to only seeing the North-East if you wanted abundant sunshine and beach weather.

I'd also rule out Dominican Republic as their infrastructure is not reliable enough (power failures etc).

Costa Rica is the obvious choice if you like rainforest and nature.

Colombia could work, too.

You should be able to get stable broadband internet in any Latin American city you choose. If you want to be really sure about staying online, you can get a 3G or 4G data connection to use as a backup in case the main connection goes down (which wouldn't happen often).

Your main concern is probably going to be background noise during voice calls. Most of the time it's beyond your control - construction noise, car alarms, music from neighbors... The more typical third world your living quarters, the more background noise you'll experience and acoustics of your building are not as good.

[Americas]

As far as doing rainforest shit on the weekends:

Brazil and Colombia are not the best options for proximity. Colombia is kind of a logistical nightmare when it comes to the Amazon. It's in the south and west of the country where there isn't any development. The main launching pad for that kind of stuff is Leticia, which is in the middle of butt fuck no where (in the very corner of the country, on the border with Peru and Brazil). If you are willing to be a little flexible, you could hit up a place like San Gil which has pretty much any outdoor activity available to you (rafting, repelling, paragliding, ect.) which would leave you with the cities of Bucaramanga and Bogota as very feasible places to set up shop. Brazil is a little better. But unless you want to stay somewhere like Manaus (wouldn't really recommend it, kind of a shit hole for a whole month) or Belem, the Amazon is quite remote from most major cities in Brazil as well. I know a lot of people that really like the Northern parks in Brazil further north than Fortaleza (Jericoacoara for example). So that could be an option. Or you could stay in Rio and hitch out weekends to Ihla Grande and the coast around there, it's gorgeous out there. Outside of major cities in Brazil it will be hard to get set up in a short period of time without Portuguese though.

I think the best choice for wanting to rainforest shit in a weekend is somewhere like Quito. The country is small and easy to traverse and the rainforest is right there. Banos is close and popular as a jump spot/adventure town.

Internet is generally fine in Latin America, particularly in larger cities. I don't know about connecting to VPNs though. I have had some troubles in the past here in Mexico connecting to a VPN, but at the moment, I can connect just fine. I think as long as the connection is strong enough, you should be fine. Check with your companies' tech guy first to make sure though.

I would take a look on airbnb at some major cities and see what's out there for apartments. I have seen a few on there that are shared houses/apartments in Quito, and other places. Or you could possibly look for a smaller hostel with private rooms/some kind of posada type of thing; might make you a deal for a month stay.

As far as getting a couple girls without any Spanish; in a months time, very possible. Even without Spanish.

Do a lot of people not speak English in LA? Yes. Will you miss out on many opportunities because of lack of Spanish skills? Yes. Can it be done? Very much so.

Story time: My very first foray into Latin America I arrived in Bogota freshly gringoed out with no Spanish whatsoever. I went out on a pub/club crawl from my hostel with a bunch of people. Arrive at the first place, scouting the scene, drinking a bit. All of sudden I get pulled over to a table with a family of Colombians and a bunch of friends. They start feeding me shots of aguardiente and treating me like a celebrity. Luckily one of the cousins or friends (have no idea who this guy was) could speak English and was translating for me. The daughter of the mom was giving me the fuck eyes and the guy was telling me that she likes me or whatever. Pretty hot girl, at least an 8 with a banging body and was a singer/performer in Bogota. I ask her to dance. We danced, then kissed, then came back. I asked her if she wanted to come with us to the next spot and she was down. Next thing I know, her and her mom and her sister are on the gringo bus partying it up.

We arrive at the next spot and I say I am tired and just want to chill out, so we just chilled on a couch and made out. I got her contact information and said I'll call her tomorrow and we'll hang out. I peaced out.

So the next day I gave the phone to the owner of the hostel and told him to tell her the directions of the hostel and to come there. She did. We walked around La Candelaria and went to the park. I brought a notebook and a Spanish dictionary and we fucked around with that for a while, kissed, whatever. I couldn't even have a real conversation with this girl but it didn't even matter. She couldn't speak any English and I couldn't speak any Spanish. I peaced out again, told her I would call her again (rather, pantomimed this with my hands).

The next day I took her to a movie (no talking required). Got a little physical during the movie and pushed the boundaries a bit and she turned to me and whispered in my ear "manana."

She came to my hostel the next day (I had reserved a private room at this point) in a long overcoat. She came into my room and took the coat off and had a full set linguine piece under her dress. We fucked for I don't even know how long. I had hit a Colombian 8 who couldn't speak English without Spanish skills within 6 days of arriving.

What should you take out of this story? Even if the girl doesn't speak English, it can easily be done. Luckily, Latinas are incredibly physical women, body language and heavy touching/kissing can get the job done. Do activities that don't require much talking. Don't take her for dinner or some shit unless its in the street and it's fun. Do not, under any circumstances, get frustrated about not being able to converse; it dampens the mood. Have fun with it! Say stupid shit in Spanish, get her to teach you Spanish, tell her she is beautiful (tu eres bonita - the golden sentence every gringo should know off the bat). Be resourceful. Yes, there was luck to the story - she was really into me and was a fun and cute girl, but I played the game right and learned so much about Latin American girls in just a week.

Would I go back to this shit? Hell no, I speak Spanish now. It's way easier now. But that was an experience I'll never forget (and it isn't even close to the only girl I banged without Spanish skills on that trip).

[germanico]

I know at least two guys that are killing it here in Mexico and couldnt even speak one word of spanish when they got here.

Download a Pimsleur or Michel Thomas and you will be good enough when you fly down.

[rekruler]

Thanks for the feedback everyone, I will reply in depth once I've had time to do some research on the suggestions presented so far. Some excellent info here.

[J556]

Get a copy of the-
http://www.bangguides.com/travel/

Check out these RVF brothers site (great coverage on Mexico by 20NATION)-
http://swooptheworld.com/how-to-get-laid...adalajara/

It all depends on what you want:
For women-Guadalajara, Mexico City, Medellin, Cartagena, Rio, Buenos Aires
For surfing-West Costs of Costa Rica, or Mexico (big for me-Id spend a week surfing then move to Medellin or Guadalajara for game-Puerto Vallerta to Guadalajara would be my itinerary of choice BTW of all I'm recommending for you here today)
For insane clubbing and World class food for cheap (girls will be damn hard, read Bang Argentina, and based on Argentinians Iv'e cold approached)- Buenos Aires

[ElJefe1]

The Domincan Republic is cheap, close and plenty of snatch to go around.

[Mojorisin808]

I second Mexico, try DF or Guadalajara. I just got back from 4 months in Mex. It was a blast, plenty of beautiful women, great food, and stable fast internet in both cities.

I spent a month in Colombia last year and had a few issues with finding stable fast internet where I was able to have conference calls and such. In the end I wound up ok, but in my experience a lot of places in Colombia will not have stable internet.