[jamaicabound]

I was just browsing on google earlier and saw this thread about a lady in LA asking other yelpers if its out of line for her boyfriend to charge her rent if she lives with him. I was expecting responses saying yeah don't be a deadbeat pay your way and things along those lines but to my surprise almost every response is supporting her saying yeah her boyfriend makes plenty of money why should she pay rent, or let her pay the waterbill and call it a day or that she'll help around the house.

I was shocked to read this. Figured you guys would also get a kick out of it. I truly was shocked by this womens attitude of entitlement as well as the overhwelming support she got. Some idiots even trying to say if she pays rent and utilities for a year she now has some legal claim to his home lol

I've dated some girls like this in the past. I'm cheap and I don't spend shit on girls so there's no reason for any chick to get the impression she's gonna be taken care of or anything along those lines but I've actuallyy had chicks try to get mad at me and or make me feel guilty for spending my own money on shit I want, making comments like oh they could have been taken out to dinner instead of me buying a new gun or whatever else like they have some claim to my money.

http://www.yelp.com/topic/los-angeles-sh...ge-me-rent

My boyfriend of three years who makes over 100K per year,( his last bonus was 13K )and he owns his home, recently offered to let me move in. I am a recently unemployed sales rep, who on average when working makes high 40-mid 50K. My Boyfriend counter offers the move in with "you can pay the same that your paying now to your current roommate, I wouldn't ask you for anymore than that". I calmly said I would think it over, but feel just sick to my stomach. I feel any romance to the situation was out the window, we have spoke of children and getting married someday. Will he turn to me while I am in labor and say " Oh yeah, rents due!". I am not a girlfriend who just takes, for two whole years we went dutch and I still offer to pay and buy things with out being asked. Please also keep in mind I am recently unemployed, where is the helping hand here? OK YELPERS, LET ME HAVE IT...AM I WRONG TO FEEL THIS WAY?



- That's messed up, at least least just make you pay for groceries. He makes plenty as it is.


-If you guys have been talking marriage and kids
he should NOT be asking for rent on a house that's already paid for
I hope you make it clear that there is a charge for allowing his future children to occupy your belly for 9 months.
PLUS a deposit.


- If he wants to charge you rent,
you should charge him to park his car in your vagina.

He owns the home, therefore he is the landlord. If he "charges you rent" there is no question he can throw your ass out if/when the relationship sours. On the other hand, if you "helped him pay on the mortage and utils for years on end"... now the home is part yours. Legally. Oh what a tangled web we weave.

- Dude is extremely selfish. If he were to lose his job. Not only would he be devastated but he would be looking for you to help him emotionally and probably financially. I am guessing you would not want anythin in return because in anloving relationship you are supposed to be there for each other. If everything is going good now and he is liked that, imagine how he will be when things aren't going so well.

- I know exactly where you are coming from! I feel the same way. I am only working part time and have now moved in with my BF the exact same month I began working part time and we calculated the amount I would be helping him with. NOW he owns his own business but the business is real slow right now and he is unable to make all the payments by himself. To date I have not given him any money because I am still working PT but I am sure after I began to start working FT I will have to give my share. Everyone believes that he should carry out the biggest expense of living together which is the mortgage payment - I do buy food all the time but that's about it. So I hope you don't have to pay any mortgage payments, specially if he makes real good $$$.

[Excelsior]

Not saying that there's no entitlement on the part of the females here, but I find this dude's actions a little strange. If I'm going to agree to live with my girlfriend of three years (a pretty big step to take in a relationship), I'm not going to make her pay rent. She's my woman, not my tenant, and the relationship we have is presumably a romantic one, not a business arrangement.

Now, some sort of informal arrangement with regard to splitting household expenses is fine given the fact that the relationship is ostensibly a partnership and both partners have to agree to contribute (she takes care of some of the bills, handles her own personal expenses, etc), but imposing some sort of formal monthly rent agreement on her? Don't know if I'd go that route.

Is this beta?

[teh_skeeze]

There's a contradiction here. First she says he offered to let her move in. Then she says he counter offered. How do you counter an offer you made yourself? I'm thinking she asked to move in, and he said "OK, as long as you pay rent". Dude makes bank and has his own jump off. He's definitely banging on the side. Game recognized.

[Basil Ransom]

I agree with the boyfriend. What's really going on is that we decide whether things are moral or ethical or 'appropriate' based on some instinctive feeling, not logic and reasoning. Often, it's good enough - but it's also frequently wrong. For instance, people would probably view a boyfriend more favorably for asking for splitting the rent if he is paying RENT for a property. But if he OWNS the property, and asks her for money for the mortgage, he will be seen as a cheap ass and a tyrant. Now, if the boyfriend had said something like, "hey, since I'm letting you live here, I'd like you to take care of groceries and the utilities" I think he'd get a warmer reception. That's what I'd have done. That way, it sounds like she's helping both of you live a nice life, instead of like some evil aristocrat exacting tribute from his lowly serf. In reality, it's all the same shit, money is fungible, and you're not paying attention if you don't realize that. If she's your wife and bearing your kids and not working, that's obviously different, and I wouldn't expect her to cover anything in that situation - but that's not what's going on here.

Another question is, would the dude rent out one of his rooms (if he has any to spare) if he weren't dating her? If not, the marginal cost of her living with him is pretty slim, just a little more in utilities plus the amount of his food that she eats. Then again, he could be putting a price on his ability to fuck strange, and her rent is him selling his right to fuck strange in his own home . I'm guessing that isn't the case.

If you're a billionaire, you can't expect your broke model girlfriend to foot half the bill. And the boyfriend didn't ask for that - he asked for what she would have paid otherwise.

Also, I'm guessing the dude had a weak frame, considering his cluelessness in couching his words.

[Katatonic]

Smart man. If she pays rent, then I don't believe common law will be recognized(if they live together for 7 years in California), and she will have no right to his income or property if they split up. Also, a rental agreement protects him even further from being stuck with her in the home for an indefinite period of time if shit ever goes bad. The lawyers in here will know more than me on the subject, so please correct me if I'm wrong.

[Basil Ransom]

(06-29-2014 11:24 PM)Katatonic Wrote:  

Smart man. If she pays rent, then I don't believe common law will be recognized(if they live together for 7 years in California), and she will have no right to his income or property if they split up. Also, a rental agreement protects him even further from being stuck with her in the home for an indefinite period of time if shit ever goes bad. The lawyers in here will know more than me on the subject, so please correct me if I'm wrong.

Funny you say that last point - this just happened recently - http://www.cbsnews.com/news/nightmare-na...mily-says/ . Cliffs: nanny starts working for family, lives in their home, and quickly stops working for the family and then the family can't evict her. California, naturally.

[samsamsam]

Sounded familiar, here is another thread on it.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-27623.html

[Celtic]

He's actually not that smart. Once you let someone move into your house, they become a tenant and it can become exteremely difficult to evict them, possibly taking as long as six months depending on where you live. How fo you like the idea of six months with an ex?

That said, she has nothing to be mad about.

Back in the old days, the woman would cook & clean, and the man would pay for the living expenses.. In theory, we're all equal now and should be able to contribute equally. But instead they expect to get alll the traditional woman benefits like being paid for while doing none of the traditional woman duties.

[jamaicabound]

(06-29-2014 10:59 PM)Excelsior Wrote:  

Not saying that there's no entitlement on the part of the females here, but I find this dude's actions a little strange. If I'm going to agree to live with my girlfriend of three years (a pretty big step to take in a relationship), I'm not going to make her pay rent. She's my woman, not my tenant, and the relationship we have is presumably a romantic one, not a business arrangement.

Now, some sort of informal arrangement with regard to splitting household expenses is fine given the fact that the relationship is ostensibly a partnership and both partners have to agree to contribute (she takes care of some of the bills, handles her own personal expenses, etc), but imposing some sort of formal monthly rent agreement on her? Don't know if I'd go that route.

Is this beta?

I guess it's a few comments she made that are troubling such as where is thhe helping hand. She finds "no romance" in having to support herself. She even compares herself to a women in labor with a mans baby as if we may get married someday so he may as well start supporting me like im carrying his baby now.

My girl doesn't pay rent but then again she doesn't formally live with me either, I and I think she as well both keep it that she stays over not lives here even though she basically lives here. You have to be real careful about loaning money or taking care of chicks though, even if you can afford it. I loaned my chick some money for a car, help pay some of her medical bills but it can very easily turn into expectations of things and not just me being nice and wanting to help. I finally had to say your on your own financially I'm not here to support you or bail you out and she doesn't ask for anything anymore.

[jamaicabound]

(06-29-2014 11:49 PM)Celtic Wrote:  

He's actually not that smart. Once you let someone move into your house, they become a tenant and it can become exteremely difficult to evict them, possibly taking as long as six months depending on where you live. How fo you like the idea of six months with an ex?

That said, she has nothing to be mad about.

Back in the old days, the woman would cook & clean, and the man would pay for the living expenses.. In theory, we're all equal now and should be able to contribute equally. But instead they expect to get alll the traditional woman benefits like being paid for while doing none of the traditional woman duties.

If she was paying rent it would probably be considered a month to month tenancy, he gives 30 days notice and she leaves. if she refuses maybe 3 weeks for a courtdate and sherrif will take her out. dont get me wrong would still suck but not that hard.

[Celtic]

That depends on your State, Jamaicabound. In a conservative pro-landlord State maybe, but in may other States six months to a year is a more reasonable timeline, that is how long it takes to evict a non-paying tenant where I live.

State law can vary alot as regard to how easy it is to kick out a tenant you don't want living there. And keep in mind, if it comes to a court case judges will want to take the womans side.

Anybody considering allowing a girl to live on their property should check their State law and possibly their attorney before such a big decision.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I don't think his actions are wrong and the woman is certainly entitled, but it's a bit strange overall. If I liked a woman enough to live together with her, her contribution to living expenses would be the last thing on my mind, unless I was financially unable to do it and thus needed her to contribute. Must be the flip side to the fact that it's hard for a woman to move in with me

[RockHard]

(06-29-2014 11:16 PM)Basil Ransom Wrote:  

I agree with the boyfriend. What's really going on is that we decide whether things are moral or ethical or 'appropriate' based on some instinctive feeling, not logic and reasoning. Often, it's good enough - but it's also frequently wrong.

So she decides to double down and ask a bunch of complete strangers on the Internet (Yelp of all places, the home of entitlement) to opine on the situation given her brief summary.

Seems to me like she just epically failed a shit test. She better pray he doesn't read Yelp.

[caracal]

It's simple really: women want to return to the traditional male/female dynamic whenever it suits them, but want to employ the modern independent female dynamic whenever it suits them.

They want to have their cake and eat it too, and no one is stopping them. Probably the reason why there are so many self-entitled fat bitches nowadays.

[funkyzeit]

If she's willing to cook, clean and do usual women's work then I wouldn't charge her.

[Switch]

Honestly it seems a bit strange to ask a girl that's moving in with you to pay rent--when you own the house. If you're paying rent or still have a mortgage, then charge her, whatever. But financially profiting off of your significant other is weird and 'unromantic'.

My bet is it's the guys power play to maintain his independence.

[Constitution45]

Really if a women does have such an attitude, I would purposely avoid them, cut them off; even if they are attractive. It takes a strong will sometimes, but its a liberating feeling. I am not saying that NAWALT or anything like that, but there are better quality women out there, however you may need to go abroad to find them; but there are a lot around.

[Coldfire]

Three words "We're done here."

[Parlay44]

She's clearly with him because of the money and security that he brings to the table. So what does she bring to the table? Her looks? VIP access to the boom boom room?

Come on guys. We all know the deal. As long as she cooks and cleans and gives up the pussy on demand she gets room and board. She can work and pay for her own clothes and other little shit.

[Grit]

The saying goes "there's a reason for everything" so if he isn't treating her like the mother of his children, she is either flawed in some way or he has recently hit a springboard to higher status at work, etc.

Edit to add: its pretty shocking to see such blatant displays of egocentrism. The point of writing this thing is just to prove if she is right or wrong. Vain egos need to feel right and happy all the time.

[Que enspastic]

Deal is pretty lame.

On this forum we want more money for better pussy, more time and/or more independence.

What does this dude want more money for ? He's getting none of that in return.

He should forget the rent and get some cooked meals and cleaning in return.

He's shitting on his r/s with this girl while drawing her into his house as a tenant??

I know lots of dudes and their girls who gladly help each other out when tight for rent. It's not just dudes helping out the girls - works the other way too.

Need pics of this guy and his girl.

[Celtic]

But what are the chances an american girl is actually going to cook and clean for the guy? Maybe some of you all are alpha enough to pull that off, but i think most modern american women find the idea degrading.

Shouldnt both sides contribute in a relationship? If she isnt going to cook and clean, which from her letter it doesnt sound like she would, why should she get free housing in exchange for nothing?

[Foolsgo1d]

(06-29-2014 11:24 PM)Katatonic Wrote:  

Smart man. If she pays rent, then I don't believe common law will be recognized(if they live together for 7 years in California), and she will have no right to his income or property if they split up. Also, a rental agreement protects him even further from being stuck with her in the home for an indefinite period of time if shit ever goes bad. The lawyers in here will know more than me on the subject, so please correct me if I'm wrong.

Not sure about the US but here in the UK a rental agreement bestows rights as a tenant and may become difficult to revoke should the relationship turn toxic.

Extending an act of friendship does not bestow rights as a tenant and can be revoked without resorting to lawyers.


In short, charging a girlfriend rent can be seem as a cheap shot and a cause of un-neccesary resentment buildup. If however she cooks, cleans and is a nice person to be with around my place and I can afford the place without any help then I dont see why I would charge her rent.

It is when she starts dictating the comings and goings of the household that would get me. That is power-creep and sets a very dangerous precedent for the future.

[jamaicabound]

(06-30-2014 12:04 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

I don't think his actions are wrong and the woman is certainly entitled, but it's a bit strange overall. If I liked a woman enough to live together with her, her contribution to living expenses would be the last thing on my mind, unless I was financially unable to do it and thus needed her to contribute. Must be the flip side to the fact that it's hard for a woman to move in with me

I'm kind of the same mindset that if I'm that serious with a girl it's not as big a deal to me. That said I think myself and others on this forum moving in is a much bigger deal than to us than it is to many guys. I have some buddies and know people in social circules who will move in with a chick at the drop of a hat without much thought, just play house with a chick for a while and then move on. To me if I'm gonna move in with ya its probably heading towards marriage as that would be a big move for me but many guys do move in withh chicks rather casually.

Hell just the other day I went to my girls friends housewarming party. They been together like 5 months if that and are moving in together.

[Blaster]

(06-29-2014 10:59 PM)Excelsior Wrote:  

Not saying that there's no entitlement on the part of the females here, but I find this dude's actions a little strange. If I'm going to agree to live with my girlfriend of three years (a pretty big step to take in a relationship), I'm not going to make her pay rent. She's my woman, not my tenant, and the relationship we have is presumably a romantic one, not a business arrangement.

Now, some sort of informal arrangement with regard to splitting household expenses is fine given the fact that the relationship is ostensibly a partnership and both partners have to agree to contribute (she takes care of some of the bills, handles her own personal expenses, etc), but imposing some sort of formal monthly rent agreement on her? Don't know if I'd go that route.

Is this beta?

Just avoid being a chump. In some cases, a "formal" agreement really is a better way to go. It's far worse to make different assumptions about responsibility and not realize until it's too late to do anything about it.