[boywonder34]

Hi
I just fucked up monumentally last night. Met up with a girl I've been working (no bang yet), this would be the 3rd or 4th time I met up with her. I know this is a case of oneitis because she has a body type that I'm most attracted too. I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said I can't find a porn actress whose body I find more attractive.

I was walking her home. Outside her front door, we kissed for a bit. She said she was quite tired etc. We chatted for a short while then started kissing again then I gathered up the back of her dress so I could slip my hand under and squeezed her ass while kissing her. I couldn't believe she wasn't resisting and was kissing me back.

I thought hmpf, her saying shes tired is her way of saying the night is over, I may as well get at least an ass grab. We said goodbye then I walked home.

Then I realised shit, if I had entered her place, we probably would have continued making out and then escalated to the lay.

I now know that I -should- (should should should) have made up an excuse to enter (hey, can I grab a glass of water/use your toilet etc).
But how many of your lays does she say "do you want to come in" vs you making it happen?

fuck, I rejected MYSELF based on my own assumptions. Also what do you guys do to get over the kick myself feeling?

[Saweeep]

Pick yourself back up and get on the horse, man.

If you are excited about an ass grab on the 4th date you need to evaluate your whole approach imho.

Have you read any literature or Truth's recipe? If not, do.

[Windom Earle]

(06-29-2014 01:50 AM)boywonder34 Wrote:  

She said she was quite tired etc.

In retrospect, you know what you should've done, and that is, recognise this excuse for the typical LMR/shit test that it is. The key to handling it is to recognise it in the moment.

Drill it into your head now for future reference - if I hear anything that resembles an excuse for parting ways or ending the night, ignore, maintain frame and take the interaction as far as possible.

Often we don't take things as far as possible, due to making excuses in our own mind too, much like how we talk ourselves out of approaching that cute girl. Call it social conditioning, ego protection or whatever, but it definitely has an impact on our ability to progress/escalate, if we let it.

This video is a great example of pushing the interaction as far as possible. He could've easily acquiesed multiple times (pickup from 18:50), but he didn't and he got the result he was after.

[TheFinalEpic]

Last night drove home from the bar, and pulled the "I'm just gonna use your bathroom".

Get out of the bathroom, start making out, escalate and she asks me to stay the night.

It's not an excuse, she knows whats going down. I've never had to pull it before, but it works wonders.

You know for next time, game is learning experiences building upon each other to make you the best you can be. Don't beat yourself up for it, but you now know what to do.

[From Vegas to Tokyo]

You're looking at it the wrong way. Having her invite you in vs. making a shitty excuse to go in isn't the way it should be framed in your mind. First, 99% of the time she won't ask you to come in. It's a shit test. This guy is literally steps away from banging me, does he have the stones to just do it, or is he going to go home? You're standing in front of her place, making out. If the girl didn't want the interaction to go farther, she would have left on her own, hours before.

You need to lead the interaction. You're standing in front of her place, just say "let's go inside". Most of the time, especially given the fact that you have your hand on her ass and are making out with her, she'll say yes and it'll work. If you're dead set on having an excuse, say 'why don't we go inside and get a coffee/drink/snack/whatever'. If shes 'tired' coffee works well.

Despite the fact that the 'excuse' might feel easier or more natural, I find the direct "let's go inside" works better and is easier. If you fumble the "excuse" line, or she throws a curveball like "I don't drink coffee" or "I don't have anything in my appartment", unless your frame is super strong and you're willing to just push through (which if you were you probably wouldn't even bother with the excuse line anyway) you're going to end up going home alone. If you say "let's go inside", you're making your intentions clear. You've been making out with her and grabbing her ass, so it's safe to say she knows what you want. By saying "let's go inside", your vocal language is congruent with your body language, you are leading the interaction, and if she lets you in, you are in control and leading the interaction, and you don't have to play any more games. If she doesn't want to let you in, she will push back, by saying "maybe next time" or "not tonight'. I find it rare that this will happen if you've gotten to the point that you had, but it might and you can play it two ways. It sounds like you'd like to make this a little more permanent than a ONS, so your best bet might be to just cut and say "next time" with a smirk. If it happens to be a ONS, you can try and push through at your own risk. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't, but if you're playing the long game being pushy in this particular situation doesn't typically pay off in my experience.

[boywonder34]

Thanks all for the advice and encouragement. I'm rationalising that I didn't want to be to appear to be desperate. But yes truthfully, I feel a bit defeated because I didn't give it my all and made mistakes. It sucks that each time I can get further and further which I should be glad about, but it sucks that each time, I run into a new obstacle.
One can only get good with experience and the only way one can get experience is, by definition, gaining experience.

[Cyclone]

Let me just start this by saying I have *so* been there. some mornings i would wake up in absolute misery with "oh god why" floating through my head for half the day. Just don't let it happen much more often:

(06-29-2014 01:50 AM)boywonder34 Wrote:  

But how many of your lays does she say "do you want to come in" vs you making it happen?

She will never be the one to invite you inside. She may strongly suggest it ("my roommates are gone, i have no work tomorrow...") but she will never be that direct. Too much Hollywood for you my friend, if thats how you think it goes down. Just say you need a glass of water to prevent a hangover (if you had alcohol) or just exclaim that yr dehydrated if not. She sounds like a winner though, keep at it
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