[Dalaran1991]

This has been bugging me since getting into game but I held it off because I thought after a while I'll understand. But recently my game hit a plateau and I think this is just the missing link.

In game we are not supposed to care about any girl we haven't bedded. For all intents and purposes she is disposable. Just a pretty shell we want to fuck and not much different than the next. No emotion, no investment.

But a lot of you players talk about connecting with her emotionally. What does this even mean? To connect with her emotionally don't we have to care about the girl? Like, remember what she like, her family situation, why she was late because her dog actually eat her fav pair of shoes today (and not something she made up)?

A lot of the time with the more educated or elegant girls I get stuck on exchanging negs and push/pull. It gets the ball rolling and for a lot of low quality girls it work, but I'm feeling a lack of connection.

Or is it something else I lack and not this emotional connection?

Appreciate some input

[Parlay44]

You have to learn to "fall in love" with every woman you talk to. It's an "in the moment" kinda thing. Best I can describe it is pretend like you're talking to your mom or sister. Your defenses are down. You're in a casual don't give a fuck mood and you want her to feel it. You get her engaged in a story or experience that you're trying to convey. Ask her opinion on things. Especially interpersonal relationships. They love that shit.

[monster]

Self-amusement. You have to care about something. if you don't care about the girl itself you have to care about the interaction, and one way is to enter a state of self-amusement, at least during flirtatious banter.

[Captain Gh]

Parley is absolutely right! You've got to be an open book and show that you are alive and always connected to her, while holding a strong frame and being a leader. She will be attracted to you by your ability to connect those two "frames at the same time" in her mind by being strong and emotional.

I know words might sound vague, so if you want to see this action make sure to watch the movie Heat with Robert Deniro and Al Pacino. The idea of coldness and assoleness associated with game is simply putting YOUR needs above anything else, including hers.

Pay attention when he uses the line of being willing to walk away from anything in 30 seconds flat without looking back at anything. That line has to become your constant frame with women, and in life, so then you won't ever be worried about how to act!

You just gotta be quiet about it. I'm a bad writer because this post doesn't do justice to the beauty of that line, you just gotta see it for yourself and you'll get it right away!

[soup]

Connecting emotionally means first that you have to connect with yourself on an emotional level, and be cool with who you are.

If you aren't, then something needs to change.

Then you connect with other people.

Girls want to know that you can speak their language- the language of emotions, and that you can empathize with them on a deep level.

That means understanding their true nature and giving them what they want, even if it seems to against what they say they want ( this is not an advocation for rape btw).
It's understanding that she needs to put up a lot of tests because she needs to feel like she has some value- that she isn't just a cheap slut.

Most girls sense of integrity and security has it's gravitational center in the external- thy look for validation from society and their ancient instincts make them want to feel protected and valued.

That's a start.

Understand where they are coming from.

[Onto]

I don't think you have to remember anything she tells you per say. You just need to be present to her at the moment. To whatever she wants to talk about. People can sense when you are truly present to them and listening.

It's not an easy thing really, because most of the time when someone is talking we are thinking, "I wish they would hurry up and finish so I can say this and that."

Sometimes I can feel exhausted after 30 mins and I have to let them know I've reached my care limit for the day.

This will make her connect with you, but for you to connect with her emotionally....geez...I don't think I have a good answer for that. I guess the question is why are you banging chicks you can't relate to on a personal level? Maybe I don't understand the question.

[Dalaran1991]

Lots of good advice. THough I agree this is difficult to discuss textually. The concept is so vague and though i do have an idea of what you all are talking about I'm not sure how to put it into practice. Especially yours Soup. Do anyone has some more video/visual examples of this? Captain I'll check out your example

[TheChef]

Think of it less like connecting "emotionally" and just focus on connecting. Get to know her, ask questions here and there and expand on them with your own experience...which is just conversation 101.

Like the guys here are saying, she'll following your lead. If you're having a good time, laughing and enjoying yourself, she will to. If she's not, then maybe you guys don't have chemistry.

To be a little less vague and more concrete here are some simple steps:

- When you talk to a woman, get to know her and aim to share her world with her. This can also be referred to as GALNUC from Roosh's book.

- Before you go out, watch funny videos and get in a good vibe. This will rub off on girls you meet.

- Smile

- And DON'T WORRY about emotionally connecting. Just get to know her. They've done studies in which if two people talk and one of them carries the entire conversation, that person FEELS like the other person really knows them well. The other person doesn't even have to say much. People love taking about themselves.

[Parlay44]

(05-21-2014 08:32 PM)TheChef Wrote:  

- Before you go out, watch funny videos and get in a good vibe. This will rub off on girls

I'd rather watch porn before going out. Porn gets you in the right mindset. You're not there to entertain her. You're there to fuck her and entertain yourself in the process. She's there to go along for the ride.

[General Mayhem]

(05-21-2014 08:42 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

(05-21-2014 08:32 PM)TheChef Wrote:  

- Before you go out, watch funny videos and get in a good vibe. This will rub off on girls

I'd rather watch porn before going out. Porn gets you in the right mindset. You're not there to entertain her. You're there to fuck her and entertain yourself in the process. She's there to go along for the ride.

I will vouch for that. It might seem bazaar to some, but it works.

[Valhalla]

Paralay had it right. Fall in love with every woman.

I can do this convincingly but it can backfire because they'll believe it, make sure to seem a little disinterested and get her to qualify herself before you fall in love with her.

[tiggaling]

Well, connecting doesn't have to be emotional, like you care about her and want to be with her forever etc.

It can just be, you resonate with her and want to *know* her, explore her and experience her. It can be a metaphysical connection, chemistry. Girls love that stuff.

It doesn't have to be "emotional" at all.

[Christian McQueen]

I've never met a pretty girl I didn't 'love'.

I love her tits.

I love her ass.

I love her pussy.

I love her hair.

I love her face.

I don't however, love her in the traditional sense.

I wrote about this in a blog post or book, but can't remember which one, about the difference between Love vs. Infatuation.

Your interactions with women should be fun, playful and full of mystery and excitement.

There's a process to creating a 'magic bubble' with the girl to where she feels feelings of affection from you, but you're not ripping your heart out of your chest and handing it to her on a silver platter. I should do a blog post about that actually...

[Beyond Borders]

Read "models."

Or just encourage curiosity in other people within yourself. It's not supplicating to be interested in who she is.

I find that when I cut the bullshit and just get to know someone, minus the games, things flow for me a lot better. May not work for everyone.

Personally I think the game that works best for you is largely dependent on your personality.

[slothpiece]

Engage her emotions like a video game. As men, we aren't supposed to feel emotions like women. They like to test our emotions by testing our strength to see how we react, but you do not let them have this luxury of puppetteering your ass. They can certainly try, but you brush it off like dandruff or by swatting a gnat trying to get a bite of your banana. Steer her emotions by engaging her peanut hamster brain and leading her to the bedroom and letting her open her mouth orifice to bathe your nut satchel. She is there for your entertainment, like others have said, so lead her to the act of entertaining you. Connecting emotionally should mean you are steering the frame and touching all of her hamster brain connection points that will help her follow your lead to your dick being inserted into her polluted vagina. Remember: she is a stupid kunt, so treat her as such and connect emotionally to her inner needs of wanting to be a stupid kunt.

[XXL]

Connection comes from sense of togetherness which is created by going through a lot with a girl whether it's certain conversation topics or bonding through having adventures together. Stuff like that creates emotional bond.

You don't really need to really CARE about a girl, like be very into her or be concerned about her, to talk about that stuff. You can just spit it out very casually sharing some silly or sad experiences in a non intimidating nonjudgmental lighthearted atmosphere. So to me it's more about sharing things that touch your heart rather than trying to find something to connect to with other person.

Personally I never feel "connected" to anyone and I never seek to relate to anyone. I don't care about. I just like talking stuff that mean something like cause personal stories and conversations about something that matters makes the difference how I view and remember given person. It's very common that I don't know basic info about a girl but I know her worst nightmare from childhood or stuff like that. I've had girls who spent a couple of hours with me trusting me and relying on me strongly even though they didn't know any typical details about me.

In practice it means..

- leading hard - knowing what to do and where to go, always telling what we're doing, taking by the hand, etc. That builds a lot of basic trust.

- changing venues a lot - even something simple as cafe -> park -> beach makes you're both part of the same team and it sort of builds your story like you've been to many places together.

- touching imaginative/emotional topics, past and future - childhood memories, heartbreaks, worst travel ever, first kiss, dream job, role models, favorite movie scene, last meal on death row, worst date, perfect wedding, what would you do if..., etc

- teaching her something and doing it together - for example a new dish or a funky bag for gifts, i once made a girl repair her bike with me, again that "we're on the same team" bonding effect

- helping her overcome some sort of personal fears/insecurities - for example she has a fear of height so you take her to try climbing wall with you

- talking about common life scenarios that anyone can relate to - first stressful exam, first sex, people judging people, failures, good/bad school memories]

[General Mayhem]

Here's is my opinion: Disconnecting yourself from women doesn't make you an alpha male.

Being alpha is about self-control, which means being able to love women, take it all in and appreciate it, but still be able to fucking walk at the drop of a hat.

An alpha knows that women are devious. He doesn't hate them for it because that is their nature. He understands that, and he works with it.

Women hate is beta bullshit. Alpha males love women.

Women are world's most dangerous plaything, but you lose that danger if you don't engage them emotionally.

Find out what their secrets are. Find out what they dream of. Fuck them good. Fuck them often, and be ready to leave them.

[soup]

I've noticed that girls of different quality have different ranges of emotional/shit testing that they do.

Girls of less quality tend to have short range shit testing- they will try to get a rise out of you right there on the spot in the second of interaction.

Other girls who have more social clout don't get into these small frays, but if you are able to get into their bubble, they will try to do a more long term shit-test/mind-fuck to see if you are worthy. I think they are playing more for keeps if you are high value vs. the less value chick who knows that a high value man who approaches is probably just looking for pump and dump.

As a man, you connect with her emotionally by not being phased by these, because you can recognize them for they are.

She will then think- "he really gets me" because she knows that she's throwing out a big game. And any girl of worth has to put up a game like this. It's just the natural way. Hot women don't just give it up for anyone, otherwise they wouldn't be hot.. I think the hotness in a woman has been built up over eons of guys fighting for the hottest girl. It's a valued commodity.

[ElBorrachoInfamoso]

Most people have at least one interesting them about them. Try to find what that thing is about her.

You can have an emotional connection and enjoy spending time with a girl without being a supplicating bitch.

[runsonmagic]

Don't.

The biggest setbacks in my game have come from trying to make it work with women I wasn't really into.

That said, if you're asking the question, you're into something about this girl. Figure out what that is, and ditch the rest. Maybe it's just the ego hit of a notch. If so, it's not about connecting, it's about that. Maybe noticing the pattern means you're ready to go on to a new one, but either way go for what it is you actually want.

[AneroidOcean]

(05-21-2014 06:30 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

In game we are not supposed to care about any girl we haven't bedded. For all intents and purposes she is disposable. Just a pretty shell we want to fuck and not much different than the next. No emotion, no investment.

But a lot of you players talk about connecting with her emotionally. What does this even mean? To connect with her emotionally don't we have to care about the girl? Like, remember what she like, her family situation, why she was late because her dog actually eat her fav pair of shoes today (and not something she made up)?

XXL really made some great points but I'd like to add that the above you assume is not completely true. Some girls will need more of a connection in order to start having sex/date/whatever you're looking for. This doesn't mean it has to be a huge connection and you have to have really strong feelings for her. It just means that she needs to feel connected to you that you need to illicit STRONG emotions in her.

It's not that you're supposed to have ZERO feelings and ZERO investment for a girl that you haven't bedded, but rather that they are closer to zero versus the super orbiter beta version (which is to have ALL feelings and ALL investment into a girl without any real chance of bedding her).

Also, you are mistaking connecting with someone, even on an emotional level as being some super involved heavy shit. Sure, it might be over some super deep experience she's shared with you, but it could just be over some commonalities or shared interests, or some really fun emotional roller coaster type event you both experience together.

There have been plenty of people I've connected with throughout my life who I only had briefly in my life or whom I no longer even like. A connection doesn't equate to a huge commitment.

(05-22-2014 01:00 AM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  

There's a process to creating a 'magic bubble' with the girl to where she feels feelings of affection from you, but you're not ripping your heart out of your chest and handing it to her on a silver platter. I should do a blog post about that actually...

McQueen with a great visual. She feels close to you and like you care for her (some), but you're not throwing everything out there.

[soup]

The problem is that maybe you do care but you don't know what that means.

Don't let the cold frame take over you.

That's the stereotype of cool.

The real "cool" is actually being a man who is free in his feelings.

You don't care for the image of herself that she projects, but her body and way might tell a more honest story.

I try to disregard things that don't make sense to me and move towards things that do.