[MrLemon]

Quora: Why would you *not* choose to marry a career woman?

Question:

Quote:

It seems the prevailing belief in western society is, that men should marry women with equally ambitious careers. Yet I meet a lot of men who basically say they would not choose a to marry a career woman, would prefer to stay single instead (in this case "career woman" means somebody in a high-powered or technical career, such as a lawyer, doctor, or high level corporate career. A woman in a slower career such as nursing, HR, or retail seems not to carry the same negative connotations in men's minds).

The most common answers from men is that they feel career women are more likely to divorce and won't put in the time and effort required to be good mothers.

For men answering this question, what are your thoughts on marriage to high-powered or corporate career women?

My answer:

Quote:

I personally chose not to marry a high powered career woman. I had plenty of chances, plenty of women who were determined that I should marry them, but I walked away from them all.

I learned that, if you are a marriage-minded man, you have lots of choices, so no need to compromise.

Ended up instead very happily married with 2 kids, to a woman who was clearly not on a career path, a poet actually.

My reasons were simple. I wanted a happy family and healthy kids. The women I met in high-pressure careers lived high-pressure, high stress lives. It was unlikely they would be able to slow down enough on their career to have healthy pregnancies and raise young children.

I know for a fact that young children need a mom around. I do not believe in sending toddlers to a day care while mom fights co-workers, then comes home angry. Little kids know the difference...they really do. I've seen too many kids totally screwed up by this.

People say "oh, the kids will be all right". Well, no actually the kids won't be all right. They will be screwed up and once a kid is screwed up as a toddler, they are never whole as people.

Also career women incur a lot of debt, especially if they are doctors or lawyers. So they can't quit to be a mom, even if they want to. In many cases their maternal instincts will kick in after the first kid and they will want to quit and just be a mom. It's a conflict to have to leave their babies, often when babies are crying for mom. This creates anger and resentment in the working woman, that will turn her sour and dissatisfied (even though she might be in denial about that).

That sourness and dissatisfaction is damaging to a happy marriage and a happy life.

So personally I found a woman who wanted to be a mom and had a satisfying career that enabled her to be a mom. I work a lot harder to provide and we have to forgo the gadgets and expenses that our neighbors have. But our neighbors have screwed up kids and we don't. So it works.

Of course the hamsters and white knights on Quora will vote this question down, trying to make sure that "men have a choice" is never shown as a valid argument in our society.

[Hotwheels]

A woman in a high paying, high power career does not "need" a man as she has her own money, so unless you game her continuously she will not be as invested in the relationship.

This thought process works for her until she is hitting the wall or gets baby rabies. Then it's usually too late.

I have an aunt like this. Very hot in her younger days, did some modeling, etc. (Still looks pretty damn good at 54) Married and divorced twice before getting married the third and last time when around 39. Was actually able to have two kids that are normal at that advanced age, so she got very lucky.

btw-Her husband is about 10 years older than she is.

[zigZag]

I would choose not to because they don't make good wives.

[MrLemon]

I'm enjoying the comments on Quora. The women immediately start attacking with strawman arguments or poorly disguise shaming tactics. The men are actually thoughtful.

[Teutatis]

Quora is a haven for political correctness, feminists and social warriors, women and men. I'd advise a strong stomach to read through their "social" categories

[Basil Ransom]

Great answer, as well as the ones above it.

The phrasing of the question is a great way to get perspectives like yours on a feminist place like Quora. Instead of, "Is a career woman a good choice for a wife?" It's "why do some men refuse to marry career women?" Or "why do men balk at dating overweight girls?"

I have to figure the reach of quora is still fairly low.


Haha I see you're getting IFT-ed (Indian Feminist Trolled) in the comments.

[MrLemon]

(04-27-2014 12:27 PM)Basil Ransom Wrote:  

Great answer, as well as the ones above it.

The phrasing of the question is a great way to get perspectives like yours on a feminist place like Quora. Instead of, "Is a career woman a good choice for a wife?" It's "why do some men refuse to marry career women?" Or "why do men balk at dating overweight girls?"

I have to figure the reach of quora is still fairly low.


Haha I see you're getting IFT-ed (Indian Feminist Trolled) in the comments.

Yeah what is with all the indian feminist chicks? Don't they have their own blog to troll on?

[zigZag]

(04-27-2014 12:18 PM)Teutatis Wrote:  

Quora is a haven for political correctness, feminists and social warriors, women and men. I'd advise a strong stomach to read through their "social" categories

Some stuff on there is indeed incredibly pathetic.

[Basil Ransom]

" what is with all the indian feminist chicks? "

I met this Indian chick from the Caribbean, Guyana - very sexy. She was very quick to distance herself and her fellow Caribbean Indians from American and native Indian women, haha, basically called them losers.