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Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands
#1

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

So I can’t seem to find any information on this site about Tenerife and after being here for the last 2 months and having a blast Id thought I’d write a bit of info about the place.

[Image: Tenerife.fullmap.jpg]

So Tenerife is just off the coast of Morocco but it’s actually owned by Spain. It’s hot pretty much all year round which makes it a great place to visit in the winter and of course during the summer.

It has taken over Dubai to become the world’s Number 1 tourist destination and it holds the worlds 2nd biggest carnival.
The South where I work is very different to the North. In the south you mainly have the 2 British resorts of Playa de las Americas and Los Cristianos. In the North you have 3 big Spanish Cities Puerto de la Cruz, La Laguna and the capital Santa Cruz. Now Tenerife is a big destination mainly for old tourists 65years and older but during winter the main nightlife strips will still be medium busy and during summer the place is full of old and young people.

Things to do
I actually think Tenerife is quite an interesting Island and I have travelled a lot. The landscape is quite cool with over 400 active volcanoes on such a small island. You can take a cable car ride up to the top of the tallest one called El teide which I recommend, it was worth it and great to go from the heat of the resorts to only an hour later seeing everything covered in snow.

Siam park: one of the best water parks in the world, awesome rides and a great setting, really nice way to spend the day with your friends. My favourite thing in Tenerife, I know that sounds pretty silly saying it’s my favourite thing about the place but it really is that good.

[Image: siam-15d.jpg?w=1000&h=]

Animal parks: lots to choose from, loro park, jungle park, monkey world, you could spend a few days here going around all of the parks.

Masca Catamaran: take a boat trip to the area of Masca. Masca village lies at an altitude of 600 m in the Teno mountains, which extend up to the northwestern most point of Tenerife. The village is surrounded by mountains and lush forests and is a really good day trip.

[Image: lugares_masca.jpg]

Black beaches: one of the interesting things about Tenerife is the fact that it has so many volcanoes meaning that the beaches here are full of black sand. Personally after spending so much time on white sandy beaches I loved the black beaches here and there are lots of different ones to visit
Surfing: loads of spots to choose from and it seems like a good place to learn, cheap, medium sized waves, hot all year and safe to swim.

[Image: DSCN0289-730394.JPG]

Puerto de la Cruz: awesome city in the north, a lot more Spanish with an incredible pool for the public to use called the Island. Good surf spots and cool nightlife.

Carnival: like I say the 2nd biggest in the world and it hits Tenerife about the 28th Feb. and lasts for 2 weeks. I was there in the capital 4 days ago for one of the street parades and it was fab. Thousands of people partying all day and into the night.

[Image: article-1368828-0B49820D00000578-728_634x414.jpg]

Price
It’s actually quite cheap to live here once you pay for your flight. At the moment I’m paying 35euros a week for my own room in an awesome location and even though that is super cheap you can find a place for 50euros per week if you want to stay here longer.

Drinks are usually 2 for 5euros in the bars but you can buy vodka bottles for 4euros and beer for 50cents a can in the supermarkets so not bad.


Girls
In the south resorts you are mainly coming to come across average drunk British girls with a few hotties thrown in the mix but also lots and lots of beautiful Scandinavian girls, Baltic, German, Belgium girls.

In the North you will mainly come across Local Tenerife girls who generally have very beautiful faces, great skin, not always slim but even when they do have a bit of meat to them still look amazing.

[Image: tenerife09_cheers2_b.jpg]

Daygame
I actually haven’t bothered much with daygame here since my job requires me to approach about 30 different sets of girls every night daygame just doesn’t seem that worthwhile. But if you wanted to do some best place in the south would be in the golden mile avenue just where Hard rock cafe is and in the north any of the 3 cities would be good.


Night life – Playa de las Americas

These recommendations are only for the south of the Island near to Playa de las Americas

Veronicas, this is where I work, this is home to most of the bars such as jumping jacks, oasis, sound of cream and also the Spanish club papagua. Hit this area from about midnight to 4am.

[Image: tenerife.jpg]

Rags and tramps: these are the 2 main nightclubs and are on top of each other, best time is to go at 4am in the morning and dance to 6am.

Papagua: awesome club full of Spanish people, the music is usually deep house, expect high entrance costs and expensive drinks with lots of hard Spanish girls just looking to strut their stuff.

Achaman: Spanish club 5 minute taxi ride from the main strip in playa de las Americas. Best to go on a Sunday or Wednesday night. Good mix of house music and a little salsa, good price for drinks hot Russians and Spanish women but not as easy as the girls on the main strip.


Work
The main nightlife strip in the South is called Playa De las Americas and that’s where I work in a bar called Oasis. Most of the guys either work behind a bar, selling cocaine or as a PR, I work as a PR so basically I stand on the street and try to get people into the bar. Pay is commission only so you need to work but the job is actually quite cool and has its benefits, usually I get about 140euros a week for 6 days work but in the summer the guys usually get about 300euros a week. I have enough money for my rent, food and to party every night and the job introduces me to a lot of women.


Conclusion
Bear in mind that Tenerife is a big holiday destination for the Scandinavians, Brits, Russians and Europeans. If you want to chase the local girls who live here then they won’t be on holiday mode and at best you might get a girls number to arrange a date later but everyone else you meet on holiday then obviously they won’t be giving you a number if will be kino, kiss back to hers or your place.

So if you’re just planning on visiting for a week or two then my advice would be to just chase the girls on holiday but if you are planning on working here then I would recommend chasing both by hitting both the Spanish and British nightclubs.

Apart from women though yeah I love this island, I love the crazy coloured skies that always seem to hang about the volcanoes. I love all the excursions you can do, love the no stop partying, the cheap living.

Doesn’t matter where you are from I would definitely recommend working here even if it’s just a month. You can get a job within 4 hours and they won’t care about your visa. The job will keep you busy increase your social scene help you find cheap accommodation but more importantly make your approach loads of girls if you work in one of the bars and this will lead to lots of hook ups.

Put it this way I saw a message on rooshv think it was called something like notch count for 2013 and one guy said he had a good year and banged about 60 girls well the guy I work with now has been here for the last 12 months he’s a normal looking guy but a cool guy at that and he’s banged 157 girls in the last 12 months. He started working at our bar because his boss at his old bar sacked him after he was spotted on cctv getting a blow job behind the bar while serving someone a pint..legend.
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#2

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

I'm guessing one needs to know Spanish to work here?

A man is only as faithful as his options-Chris Rock
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#3

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Ok first of all, sorry for the massive images. Ill try and do better if I make any more data sheets. And no you don't need Spanish at all. All the workers in the South don't speak Spanish only English. I speak basic Spanish just enough to get any Spanish people on holiday into my bar but I'm one of few that can even speak basic Spanish. In the North it would be more needed to speak it.

Quote: (04-13-2014 05:20 PM)Mentavious Wrote:  

I'm guessing one needs to know Spanish to work here?
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#4

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Quote: (04-13-2014 05:08 PM)Mango444 Wrote:  

Doesn’t matter where you are from I would definitely recommend working here even if it’s just a month. You can get a job within 4 hours and they won’t care about your visa.

Nice datasheet Mango, about a somewhat unorthodox location for the forum. +1 from me.

You got me curious about going out there for a brief job stint. Is it really that easy to get a job there as a bar promoter? Could you give us more details on how one can do it? Do you just arrival on a tourist visa and go into some bars in the daytime and ask them for a promoter job? Any other tips? E.g. which bars are best to work at/which to avoid.

I've been to Tenerife a couple years ago near Log Gigantes (just chilling there nothing else). Wish I'd gone to Siem Water Park now that you vouch for it so highly. Been to Loro Park - it's pretty decent, had a cool dolphin show but other than that I tend to get pretty bored at animal parks/zoos/aquariums.
[Image: delfinario-1-loro-parque.jpg]

By the way, for anyone wondering here's what volcano black sand beaches look like:
[Image: la6wQZs.jpg]
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#5

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Yeah thanks man.

Hardest thing is to find accommodation for staff. A lot of people who work there are looking but best way to find that is to stay in a hostel at first and ask the people that you work with once you get a job.

Job wise yes it shouldn't be a problem, months like april, may when the summer is starting and the place is getting busier then its easy but really it shouldnt that that hard at any time of year. There are so many bars and since it is mainly commission only based jobs then bars want lots of prs as its no loss to them. I worked at Oasis bar and I think that is the best bar to try.

There is an area called starco which has the nightclubs and linikers bar and a few others. This part is not so busy so I would definitely recommend looking for a job on the veronica strip which leaves the below bars to try.

Joyce, envy, oasis, yordies, sugar reef, jumping jacks, sound of cream.

Joyce, envy and oasis are more sitty down type cocktail bars which Is why I like them the best. Im not very good at loud club game and if music is really loud I tend to shy away from approaching but the cocktail bars you can talk to groups of girls as everyone can hear you. there are a couple of tattoo shops on this strip as well and if you have a few tattoos working for one of these would be a very good job for money and women.

Yeah just arrive on a tourist visa and go into the bars at night time when they are open

Like I say easy to get a job but the money is not that great, in the summer it would be but in the winter you are slightly struggling not to dip into your savings.

I was there for about 10 weeks and after getting lucky in about my second week and having a 3some with 2 swiss girls I decided just to try and go for group sex, ended up having five 3somes, my first ever 4some, about another 3 times where i had 2girls in my bed but 1girl each time backed out and banged about 15 girls or so as well. I would go for about 4 days with nothing then bang 2 in one night usually the first one would be in the storeroom where we were allowed to take girls for about 20 minutes.

Fun fucking times, my mates are still there and I know they are going to smash it this summer. If I wasnt heading to Ibiza I would still be there....

Yes one more thing, a massive thing in that area is pick pockets. I lost my phone on my first night and so many other people did. I seriously now have my phone and my wallet on flexible keychains that are hooked onto my jeans now. If your out drinking beware there will be pickpockets in the clubs, leave your good phone and wallet back in your room in a safe...

You want to try and find a room in Yomely or altamar..



[quote] (04-13-2014 11:02 PM)Espresso Wrote:  

[quote='Mango444' pid='701701' dateline='1397426933']
Doesn’t matter where you are from I would definitely recommend working here even if it’s just a month. You can get a job within 4 hours and they won’t care about your visa.[/quote]

Nice datasheet Mango, about a somewhat unorthodox location for the forum. +1 from me.

You got me curious about going out there for a brief job stint. Is it really that easy to get a job there as a bar promoter? Could you give us more details on how one can do it? Do you just arrival on a tourist visa and go into some bars in the daytime and ask them for a promoter job? Any other tips? E.g. which bars are best to work at/which to avoid.

I've been to Tenerife a couple years ago near Log Gigantes (just chilling there nothing else). Wish I'd gone to Siem Water Park now that you vouch for it so highly. Been to Loro Park - it's pretty decent, had a cool dolphin show but other than that I tend to get pretty bored at animal parks/zoos/aquariums.
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#6

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

I was in Tenerife for a couple of days, a few years ago. Went with a couple of buddies and stayed in Puerto De La Cruz, also traveled around the island a little.

I did not get laid, neither did my buddies, but I liked the island and enjoyed my time there. We hit a couple of salsa clubs in and around Puerto where the locals go. The girls there danced with me, but didn't want to come to my place, and I did ask a few of them quite persistently. My Spanish is pretty much non-existent. My salsa skills are shit. But, it was fun regardless.

Very cheap wine and seafood. We drank local white wine (abt 6% alcohol) pretty much instead of water. I spent a few hours in the South during the day, so didn't go to any clubs or hit on any girls, but there's definitely more foreign tourist talent in the South.

The Spanish girls are pretty, but many of them are a little on the chubby side. They also seem to be very cliquish and not really open to foreigners. One of the buddies who went with me is super athletic and generally has not problems getting laid at all, but even he couldn't break through that barrier.
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#7

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Yeah unfortunately that sounds about right. The local spanish girls are very difficult if you are foreign. Non of the guys who were working at my bar had been with a local girl even my friend who had been with 157 girls in one year.

While I was there I made a tenerife bucket list of all the things I wanted to do there and the only one I didnt do was "No.6 Date a local girl"

Stick to the tourists like I say they are easier nations and also on holiday mode.
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#8

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Good job. I always wanted to expat to the canarian island but didn´t manage it. I am still dreamin about it from time to time. Now as I am older I think I am to old for the CI. I probably stick with PI.

The CI have maybe the best climate in the world.
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#9

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Lanzarote, the fourth largest of the Canary Islands, offers a landscape formed by volcanic eruptions.
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#10

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

I was at Tenerife in february.

Went out a few nights in Puerto De la Cruz, the nightlife was nothing spectacular. Never seen worse quality of women in the kind of bars i was in.

However if you are interested in surfing there are good opportunities there.
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#11

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Really informative data sheet, thanks. I've booked my flight and my brother and I will be arriving in a week. Any tips for Carnaval?
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#12

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Thanks for this. I am considering 2 weeks sailing in Tenerife and la Gomera this summer.
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#13

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Anyone has some info about Las Palmas de Gran Canaria?
Do you guys think that the local spanish girls in Gran Canaria are also super difficult?
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#14

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Quote: (07-21-2016 07:36 AM)peloozoid Wrote:  

Anyone has some info about Las Palmas de Gran Canaria?
Do you guys think that the local spanish girls in Gran Canaria are also super difficult?

I've never been there, but I'm Spanish myself and have a few friends from Tenerife and have met people from the Canary Islands in other parts of Spain. Girls from the Canary Islands are very attractive, perhaps because they have beach weather all year round. I can imagine the competition however to be quite tough, as guys tend to hit the gym quite a lot and have a reputation for being players and decent dancers. Spanish girls in general are tough to crack unless you speak fluent spanish and meet them through social circle.

Тот, кто не рискует, тот не пьет шампанского
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#15

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Does anyone know anything about living there full time in retirement? I just want to ride my bicycle all the time.
Is there an illegal immigrant problem? Much harassment?
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#16

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Quote: (01-20-2017 02:14 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

Does anyone know anything about living there full time in retirement? I just want to ride my bicycle all the time.
Is there an illegal immigrant problem? Much harassment?

I think you would love it there as you won't find better air quality anywhere else on this planet, except perhaps near the Andes in Chile/Argentina and a few other remote islands like the Azores. You would be able to ride gorgeous slopes throughout a variety of rapidly changing climates - it's a beautiful island plus there are several others nearby to explore.

In terms of the native people I would say that they are extremely friendly but like all Spaniards a bit on the conservative side. Obviously they are seeing a lot of people come and go every year, thus they're not eager to spend much time on a 'guiri' unless you demonstrate that you're there to stay and are eager to perfect your Spanish skills. There is a certain element of 'gentuza' on the island and during my time I came across a good number of shifty looking characters who I'm sure I wouldn't want to pass late at night in a dark alley. In general however the people are lovely and full of life, in particular as many of them have roots in South America as well. You will actually hear Salsa in many bars and clubs, which is almost unheard of in mainland Spain (except a few specialty venues in larger cities).

The shittiest people on the island are actually the tourists I'm sad to say. Bad attitude and complacent as fuck which is why they are ruining it for the rest of us who aren't the type of guys who get stock-drunk and then pass out after having vomited all over a park bench. British people have a pretty bad reputation for exhibiting exactly this type of behavior in public. So if you're British the onus is on you to show that you're not one of those cretins who make it a science to embarrass themselves in public.

Hook up culture is almost non-existent, there are a few spots on the South part of the island but it's not a island you'd move to in order to play. And as you know already Spanish women are sexually conservative, and that holds especially true on a small island where everyone knows each other. If you're near retirement I however suspect that this is not a prime motivation. It's a great island to retire IMO as the weather is great throughout the year with very mild winters and temperate climate near the beaches during the summer. Food is cheap and IMO of good quality *as long as you stay away from the coast*. I strongly would advice everyone to find a place to stay away from the coastal areas. You will save a shitload of money and will have to chance to actually meat the natives in bars, supermarkets, restaurants, etc.

Illegal immigration - not really sure but it's not an easy place to reach and I didn't see many 'migrant' looking people on the island. I did however notice a small percentage of Muslims, even in smaller towns inside the island. It's possible that those communities will grow over the coming years and decades. However in comparison with Northern Europe there is no pertinent problem with droves of Middle Eastern migrants all over the place.

Hope this helps!

*******************************************************************
"The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day."
– Lt. Col. Dave Grossman
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#17

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

A short update about Tenerife. The island of the eternal spring. Weather is great and you can spend all day on the beach even though the sea temperature is a bit low. Perfect location to escape the European winter. The crowd seems to be mixed: during the day mostly British and Scandinavian. In the night majority of British and Italians. The nightlife in Veronica's street seems far from being great and similar to the usual summer mediterrean islands: many guys disturb you on the streets for enter in their bars and this makes the approaches on the streets complicated, really few girls who aren't already in a social circle and taken. Best option seems to be Papagayo who is the high end club despite having unfortunately percentages of 70/75% of guys. Mainly Italians girls there, plus few Russians and Spanish. The environment seems to be hard but let's wait for the weekend.
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#18

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Low season in the Canary Islands is the European high season so you won't get much a cheaper summer holiday with pleasant weather anywhere else. High season is Christmas which is caught between the lowest points of the European low season

You can easily eat out every night for less than 20€ and for even less during the day if you go during the summer.

Anyone who wants to get into sailing, gain qualifications in a DHV hobby should consider the Canary Islands for the guaranteed sun and wind (the same wind that Columbus used to get to Hispanola). The tidal stream is modest so it won't make navigation any more difficult than the "point and shoot" navigation in the Med but you will still get a tidal qualification.
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#19

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Quote: (02-19-2017 11:11 AM)redpillage Wrote:  

Illegal immigration - not really sure but it's not an easy place to reach and I didn't see many 'migrant' looking people on the island. I did however notice a small percentage of Muslims, even in smaller towns inside the island. It's possible that those communities will grow over the coming years and decades. However in comparison with Northern Europe there is no pertinent problem with droves of Middle Eastern migrants all over the place.

Hope this helps!

The coasts of the Canary Islands have a lot of radar and I see quite a lot of patrol vessels at sea owing to migrant insurgencies but there are much easier ways to reach Spain, and the touchdown line to EU citizenship is at the Spanish territories of North Africa.

Also, the Canary Islanders are very hostile to North Africans as Morocco has a claim over the islands and the Spanish there have a "Camp of the Saints" siege mentality because of historical events concerning Islam and the Royal Navy. Lord Nelson is remembered for establishing British geo-political power through naval supremacy but the Canary Islanders held out in the face of a brutal attack by Nelson's Scottish Highlanders.
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#20

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

delete
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#21

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Apparently now as well it is low season at least for young people, nightlife is quite dead and there are areas where literaly you cannot find a single person below 50 years old. Yes you can eat out fantastically with less than 20 euro. It is definitely not like Mallorca or Ibiza. Mainly British people yesterday night, friendly girls but as we know very arduous unless you are British too.
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#22

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Forgive me, gents. If mango had posted up a good place to rent a room or apartment, I must have missed it. Where have you guys rented your rooms/apartments at? It seems like a good destination to escape from my part of America for awhile.
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#23

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Tenerife is expensive for accomodation and you won't find any appartment for less than 100 EUR/night if you stay in the area of Playa de Las Americas.
I met few Yanks in the island, for either surfing and gaming chicks.
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#24

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

Any idea how the scene might be end of this month and New Year's? Will be headed down there with a buddy...maybe a few friendly Scandinavian tourists?

Quote: (12-08-2017 03:51 AM)Giacomo Casanova Wrote:  

Tenerife is expensive for accomodation and you won't find any appartment for less than 100 EUR/night if you stay in the area of Playa de Las Americas.
I met few Yanks in the island, for either surfing and gaming chicks.
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#25

Data sheet - Tenerife, Canary Islands

I imagine it could be a good period due to the Christmas holidays. As for Scandinavians I haven't met any girl from there during my stay. For the nationality, I would say 40% British, 15% Italians, 15% Spanish, 15% EE/FSU and the rest from other countries.
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