[Troll King]

How Can We Help Men? By Helping Women.

That is literally the headline, I didn't paraphrase or anything.

Quote:

In her thoughtful op-ed in the New York Times, family historian Stephanie Coontz answered the question "How can we help men?" with a ringing endorsement of gender equality: "By helping women," she answered.

I'd like to suggest the converse is equally true. How can we help women? By helping men.

Women's progress towards equality is incontestable; it seems obvious that we are, today, more gender equal than we have ever been in our history (I hasten to point out that we are not "there" yet, that we have not fully achieved gender equality, just that we are closer than we have ever been.) But progress towards greater equality has slowed: Women have pushed the glass ceiling higher on the corporate ladder, but all that leaning in has not crashed through to the board room. Girls and women compose half of all students in our law, medical and business schools, and have made enormous strides in STEM courses, yet working mothers are doing more housework and child care than they did 30 years ago. Every day, we read stories of sexual assault -- in our schools, homes, at parties and in our military.

How can we further the campaign for women's equality? How can we help women get there?

By helping men. Particularly, we need to help men decouple those aspects of masculinity that hold men -- and women -- back from living the lives they say they want.

This is crucial. A 2013 survey by the Pew Research Center found that women and men rated "being a good parent" (94% of women, 91% of men) and "having a successful marriage" (84% of women, 83% of men) equally highly -- and nearly twice as important as "being successful in a high-paying career." (Interestingly, women rated career aspirations slightly higher than men did, 51% to 49%).

So women and men want the same thing: good careers, loving relationships and happy families. Women are advised to lean in or to opt out -- as if they can do it alone. But women can't have the lives they want without some support from men. Men: We need to listen up.

Let me offer a few examples. Take education. Four decades after a concerted effort to remedy dramatic gender discrimination in education, we read today about a "boy crisis" -- gender disparities in college attendance, a gender-grade gap with girls earning better grades and taking most academic honors, while boys populate the detention room, special education classes and are diagnosed with ADHD far more often. Remedies abound, from the sensible (greater attention to individual learning styles) to the illogical and possibly unconstitutional (single-sex classes with thermostats set at different temperatures, gender-specific classroom seating arrangements and course materials, all based on outdated stereotypes).

In reality, much of the cause of the "boy crisis" in education lies with the definition of masculinity held by the boys themselves -- the notion that academic disengagement is proof of masculinity. Helping boys to engage academically requires that we recognize different learning styles along an array of measures -- which in turn leads to recognizing diverse aptitudes and competencies, enabling everyone, girls and boys, to better achieve to their potential.

Or take balancing work and family. We know that women will not be able to balance work and family until -- well, until men do.

Twenty years ago, I wrote an article in the Harvard Business Review entitled "What Do Men Want?" In it, I asked men who worked for companies that offered parental leave to men why they didn't take it when they became fathers. Each one told the same story: His colleagues wondered loudly if he was really committed to his job, his supervisor gave his permission with a promise that he'd be put on the "daddy track," a stalled track that would not end in partnership. In each case, it was other men who had created a workplace climate that thwarted these fathers from taking the opportunity they wanted to take.

This has really changed. As an article in The Atlantic makes clear, men are not being policed as arduously by other men. And, as Liza Mundy writes, "the true beneficiaries of paternity leave are women." As a result, over the past two decades men have stepped up on the home front. Well, not exactly stepped up -- more like stepped out. Men are doing marginally more housework, but significantly more childcare than they did a generation ago. This separation of housework and childcare has resulted in a new phenomenon: Dad has become the fun parent. Dad takes the kids to the park to pay soccer while mom cleans the breakfast dishes, makes the bed, does the laundry and prepares lunch. The kids come home proclaiming what a great time they had and what a great parent dad is.

If we want to help women, we need to help men find all those inner joys of housework that anti-feminists have been celebrating for decades -- or at least get us to do our share.

What about health? Yes, we know that women outlive men by about 5 years, 81 for women and 76 for men. Men are more likely to die of stress-related illness and miss work due to workplace accidents. By defining masculinity as risk-taking stoicism, men are less likely to have routine screenings, less likely to comply with workplace safety in the name of proving masculinity. Our notions of masculinity deprive our spouses and partners and families of our presence for those five years because of our adherence to these ideals of masculinity.

Finally, let's get even more intimate. Decades of research have shown that the more men subscribe to what we might call "traditional" notions of masculinity -- that manhood is defined by strength, aggression, emotional toughness and sexual prowess -- the more likely they are to believe that male-female relationships are adversarial, that control of women is central to manhood and that violence is sometimes necessary to control a female partners -- beliefs that can sometimes translate into behaviors like earlier first sex, higher rates of HIV and STDs and violence.

Conforming to these traditional ideas of masculinity may be hazardous to our health, but it is also hazardous to the health of our wives, partners and children. [Troll King: Headline: End of the World, Women Hardest Hit]

What's common among these is that men often feel they must prove their masculinity -- and they must prove it to other men. One wants to be a man's man, a man among men. (Who wants to be a ladies' man?)
We need to help men reduce the power of that gender policing -- the fear that other men will see us as less than manly if we listen to the voices in our own hearts about how we want to live our lives.

If the past few decades have made anything clear it's been that we are neither Martians nor Venusians. And what's good for Earthlings -- male and female -- is good for all of us. If we want to help women achieve greater equality, we have to engage men.

[2Wycked]

Take a note of the writer, Michael Kimmel:



He is a self-proclaimed master of what is and what is not masculinity. He clings to ridiculous notions about how boys are socialized in society - his books reflect a man who has absolutely zero ability to actually see what is happening in front of his eyes. I've said it before on the forum about him: at best, he sees boys and men as rude lab rats who need a great deal of outside intervention if they are ever to be considered fully human.

Articles like this simply are sad, as they are 100% devoid of any understanding of reality or psychology. I absolutely hate sociologists, as they apparently have poor sense of how the human mind works. As I am board-famous for critiquing, Kimmel is talking about how social narcissism works. If people feel their life is a performance, the issue isn't some ridiculous spittle like sexism or misogyny, but narcissism.

I, for one, cannot comprehend how these people expect men to conform to their standards set out for men. How many men actually feel like they have all this power and privilege? They don't. Expecting them to undertake acts in the home that feminists have ruthlessly devalued for decades sounds foolish. Women hold all the cards in the home, most of them in the workforce and run the dating scene for most men. Further, they seem to think that men need to continuously do more for women in order for women to climb the corporate ladder. Really, this about corporations getting more pliant women in "power."

Kimmel makes an interesting point about the "cool Dad." That is poor parenting to be sure, but notice how he implicitly admits that children are seeing their mothers as bad figures, ones that are mean and distant. He can't make that point explicit -- accuse babies and kids of being sexist? -- but this IS true. Women have devalued their roles as mothers/wives so badly that fathers see a way to garner their children's approval (poor parenting) by buying them things, being the "cool" parent, not the distant, demanding mother whose career always comes first.

Idiots would claim this is progress, as "gender is being deconstructing as differences between men and women are bleeding away," but it simply is a nation slowly swilling out to sea psychologically. Feminists can't admit that this is the case, as that means their ideology is full of rotten shit. So, they double down -- usually porting out their inner emptiness by bitching about male misbehavior (rape, violence), homosexuals and liberal's "the sky is falling" go-to issue: global warming.

Women have essentially created a social narrative that has forced them into the corner, with little or no options to escape the deepening social crisis. They sense the bombs going off around them, but instead of understanding of what is going on, they blame sexism/patriarchy instead of looking in the mirror, much less confronting their mothers.

[RawGod]

(04-09-2014 08:29 PM)Troll King Wrote:  

How Can We Help Men? By Helping Women.

That is literally the headline, I didn't paraphrase or anything.

Quote:

Men: We need to listen up.

...

In reality, much of the cause of the "boy crisis" in education lies with the definition of masculinity held by the boys themselves

So as men we need to listen up and get with the program. And if boys are struggling in a feminized education environment, it's their fault. Damn those 6 year olds with retrograde concepts of masculinity, they better listen up too.

Fuck you bud.

[Vacancier Permanent]

Where do garbages like that come from? What went wrong in their lives to think and entertain such ridiculous thoughts? And what massive amounts of frustrations must they feel or have felt growing up to cultivate such a visceral hatred towards themselves and other men to espouse such barbaric and retarded thoughts?

And if this is the kind of poison that the current and future generations of males in North America and western world is being exposed to from the kindergarten then the only solution is to not let your kids be corrupted by these failed men and failed women. Instead, raise them where the environment is sane and men-women relations follow that of Mother Nature and not that of delusional feminists.

[Quintus Curtius]

VP:

The best way to understand these craven male feminists, simps, kissasses, lackeys, manginas is to look at it in the following way. On some basic level, these guys don't really even know or care what comes out of their mouths. They don't really engage their analytic faculties. They aren't concerned with history, reality, gender roles, or biology. They could care less.

What they DO know, however, is power. They instinctively sense, in their bones, which way the winds of power blow. And like the parasites they are, they adapt their views to fit this political dogma that rules the land. They accommodate their beliefs to maximize their greed. There is no altruism here. There is no "taking a principled stand." They don't give a shit about the public good. They don't give a shit about protecting men from feminist abuses. They don't care that they are destroying the basis of their civilization. It's that depressing, I'm afraid.

This describes about 80% of the human race. Most people are more than happy to just go along with whatever power system is in place. Right now, feminism is the new doctrine that rules the US.

This is a depressing truth, but it is one we need to understand. This is how authoritarian systems can exert such sway over populations for so long.

Abraham Lincoln said once, "You can't fool all the people all the time." Maybe true. But, as historian Will Durant added to this, "You can still fool enough of them to rule a large country."

[L M McCoy]

hahahaha, you seem to really have it out for feminists with all these threads.

[Vacancier Permanent]

QC,
Indeed these drones as labelling them as men is an insult to the male specie, would be the first to turn their vests once a new ideology or "ruler" so to speak were to raise to power. It would be funny to see these failed drones of men when the current system collapses due to its unsustainability as more and more men wake up and realize what's really going on and stop financing these leeches and parasites.

With no system to finance and support them and their useless "professional pursuits", they would be forced to do something that's actually useful to Society and earn a living in a productive and meaningful way. And at that time, they would be totally lost, like fish out of water, totally out of their element. Only then, would they realize the folly of their situation, however it would be too late for them as without a Brutus to watch benevolently over them, they would have to fend off for themselves, a task beyond their capabilities as a failed man and a failed human being.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

LOL, Stephanie Cuntz is a "family historian"... ironic for a person whose primary occupation is destroying families en masse.