[Samseau]

^ Cardguy I agree completely, but the reason people get divorced is because the women are insufferable.

If men could just buy a child to raise like he buys a dog, the world would be an infinitely better place. But unfortunately you need to have a wife in order to have kids, which means putting up with a huge child that has the powers and authorities of an adult. When you're dealing with an unreasonable bitch, the divorce comes no matter what the man does.

[The Father]

(04-04-2014 11:17 PM)lovejoy Wrote:  

Women hit middle age and go batshit crazy, don't let anyone tell you any different.

Very true. The other years when women are batshit crazy are teens, 20's, 30's, middle age, old age, decrepit age, up to death.

[The Father]

(04-06-2014 11:27 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

But unfortunately you need to have a wife in order to have kids, which means putting up with a huge child that has the powers and authorities of an adult. When you're dealing with an unreasonable bitch, the divorce comes no matter what the man does.

This is exactly right. Schopenhauer and other philosophers observed the same, before it was politically correct to do so: Women are large children. That's why, for most of the last 10,000 years or so (otherwise known as "history"; anything before this isn't written down and is therefore pre-historic), women were given very little formal say in society. They worked their influence indirectly through men, much as children charm and soften their fathers - but at the end of the day, the rational adult gets to decide.

But today's twilight-zone society has, somehow, decided that the inmates get to run the asylum. The result? Well, as Charlton Heston said in the original Planet of the Apes:

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=char...DCFCBA9C80

[The Father]

(04-05-2014 09:05 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

well the grass isn't always greener. my parents have been married for 40 years, and about 20 too long. my mom is messed up psychologically and doesnt support her husband, and my dad is doing the whole thing out of obligation. He has told me this, and he leads a life of desperation, so much so while I was a child and teenager, he had an apartment in another city for his job. lots of men do this right or wrong, but its still not the 'ideal' we think of about marriage. So much so that they are both very unhealthy, my mom should have gotten a hip replacement over 5 years ago and now can not walk, and I am convinced now that she didnt get it because she wants my dad to wait on her, seriously... My dad is miserable and if I was in his situation I would either off myself or leave.

On the other hand, how many divorced parents and kids went on to lead happy fulfilling lives? I've known many. The ones that dont have other problems, I am convinced of that. I love seeing these moral crusaders who say the victims of divorce(kids and parents) are flawed and forever messed up. That their lives were "destroyed" lolzz. To say half of society is completely flawed is black and white ignorant thinking. The white knights who are so against people getting divorced instead make a solid case for never marrying.

There certainly is another side to it, and I value your opinion. I don't think of myself as a white knight in this (or any other!) regard. I'm not suggesting men suffer in silence out of obligation. I truly believe the most humane and workable solution -for both the man AND the woman - is what existed up through the 1950's, with the man FIRMLY in charge. Men didn't have to suffer in silence because the woman knew if she stepped out of line, he could slap her. Women (like children) crave authority, boundaries...strength. Our society has taken away men's right to be strong in a marriage, and I think women are lost without it. So yes, under the current legal environment, you are correct: those who think divorce is harmful to children make a very good case for never marrying and having kids in the first place.

Which is, of course, societal suicide. And that's what feminism is: a self-destructive, suicidal ideology.

But you already knew that

[poly_72]

My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade. I chose to move with my oldman (good choice).

Now I'm 19 and I notice most male peers with divorced parents who move in with their mothers become beta bitch boys.

I guess many women dont know how to raise a man.

Like they say it takes money to make money. Well it takes a man to make a man..

[lovejoy]

(04-06-2014 07:28 PM)The Father Wrote:  

(04-04-2014 11:17 PM)lovejoy Wrote:  

Women hit middle age and go batshit crazy, don't let anyone tell you any different.

Very true. The other years when women are batshit crazy are teens, 20's, 30's, middle age, old age, decrepit age, up to death.

I don't think that's always the case, though I've met women in all those age groups that fit that description. My X was the most level headed woman I'd ever met up until Peri menopause hit, then inside of a year she became became someone neither I or the kids even recognized ...

[big poppa]

My parents divorced when I was 3, one of my first memories is having my dad pack up his stuff and leave the house.

But it didn't affect me too badly. I spent 1 night a week at my dads, my mum knew it was important that he still remained a part of mine and my sisters lives. My dad was an alcoholic, never abusive though. I can't stand the stupid women that turn their kids against their ex husbands and make it as hard as possible for him to ever see them. I know way too many cases of fathers not even able to see their own children and they are still forking out child support.

I will be screening hard for the mother of my child when the time comes.

[Thoroughbred]

(04-06-2014 11:05 AM)cardguy Wrote:  

Whichever ever way you cut it. Getting divorced is selfish. You are putting your own interests ahead of those of your children.

That's about the size of it.

(04-06-2014 08:08 PM)poly_72 Wrote:  

Now I'm 19 and I notice most male peers with divorced parents who move in with their mothers become beta bitch boys.

For these blokes, that's a tough bullet to dodge...


My parents divorced when I was 10. I came home from school one day to find most of my house packed up and one of my sisters on my Mum's knee crying. "We are moving to xxxx (regional Australian town where both of my parents were originally from)." That was it.

From here on in it was a carnival side show of some of the worst life decisions you could possibly make by my mother.
She immediately made me, her 10 year old son, her primary emotional confidant ( http://www.emotional-incest.com/indexWhat.html ).

This went on for a year or so until another town skip was done from a partner who'd turned violent she'd moved us in with, after the initial move, to a part of the country where we knew no one. At 11 years old I remember looking at her thinking "you have no fucking clue" while she was packing up another house in the middle of the day. 11 years old.
From there we moved back to the original town where the old man lived, who had since re married. I had some form of a life until we were moved back to the town where my parents where from. I finished out high school there.

As mentioned, my Dad moved on, got remarried and is still there. My mother never sorted it out and has been failing at life ever since. I love my mother and wish her all the best, but she wont be coming anywhere near my children. I view her like some crazed, stupid, rabid dog. To be kept at arms length, at best. Emotionally that is, I'm still warm and friendly, and I visit her. But she will always be on the outer, she is just to dangerous.
She never got it together post divorce. 50+, wall long since come and gone, and looking at a lonely, resourceless twilight of her life. She has found and lived with decent blokes (and rich some of them), she always just skips out, like it's some sort of program.
It's from these places you start to see the pattern, her parents divorced, the seeds were sown.

If there were some global head of feminism figure, I would love to get a street address, knock on the door, dump my mother there and say "this is what you create."

Of my two younger sisters, one is a lesbian and lives with her girlfriend of 6 years (she was the most attached to our Dad, interestingly). The other has a habit of dating men 10 - 15 years her senior. When she was 18 she was seeing a 32 year old. No one got out unscathed.

Certainly not me.

I remember puberty starting to hit, when I was 12 and resenting the changes my body was going through and being scared of them. I was becoming a man, hair was starting to grow things were starting to change, and I hated it. I had been recruited into my parents divorce, on my mothers side and had been exposed to her opinions of men then. I never hated my Dad, I did view him as stupid and inferior as his young son. I ended up with an intrinsic hatred of masculinity, that went all the way to my bones.
This is why I will always have some time for some of the ideas of the Paul Elams of the world. Due to my experience, I see some of the things he speaks of as an attack on masculinity at a deep, personal, emotional level. Actually making young boys resent being male.

It got worse from there.

It turns out, if you are a a male adolesent becoming a young man deeply at odds with and resenting your masculinity, there are whole social groups you can dissolve into and have these attitudes afirmed and replayed back to you.
I found myself neck deep in an alternative music scene with a strong focus on pseudo spirituallity and recreational pyschedelic drug use. I will let those of you who can join the dots do so. It's a global phenomenon, a lot of the music from which centers around a certain recently created middle eastern state. Heavy in feminist values and certain eshewing of anything masculine, propelled by the use of psychedlic drugs.
I drifted here for a few years. There were always women around me, I could never get it together though. I wanted to play the field, I just didn't have the emotional artillery or the masculine capital. A series of LTR's interspersed by droughts (where it was almost like I was turning down sex. Looking back with Red Pill eyes, they were throwing themselves at me. I didn't notice, nor would I have known what to do if I did). My relationships ended up with me wondering at what point I had agreed to be a slave.

Then I got lucky, real lucky. Life savingly lucky. I met some men, older men, and, still left to my old devices, was turned down a few roads. A lot of me undoing myself, and my childhood was wrapped up in redefining my relationship with my old man. A passage from this book: http://www.stevebiddulph.com/Site_1/The_...nhood.html stands out, where a young man turns up on his estranged fathers doorstep and says "I no longer accept my mothers opinion of you."

It was still a long road from there. I ended up with a bird, a good one seemingly. Five years in she came home from a festival and told me she fucked someone else. That night I sat on the couch with my laptop and found this: http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/t...ubble.html and a little blog that used to be called Citizen Renegade...

I'm sure no-one asked for a life story, but when you ask about parents divorcing you are asking about events and forces that ripple over lifetimes, from one generation into the next.
A lot of my friends where from broken homes, including the girl mentioned in the last paragraph, and quite a few of the others I ended up with. The destruction is astounding. I have had mates in psych wards, obliterated by drugs. The casualty list goes of from there.

I'm 30. I am now where I should have been when I was 25 in terms of understanding of women, finances and personal development. I'm lucky, and smart, and will make up ground quickly. Many wont, haven't and can't.

[Orion]

(04-06-2014 11:27 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

^ Cardguy I agree completely, but the reason people get divorced is because the women are insufferable.

If men could just buy a child to raise like he buys a dog, the world would be an infinitely better place. But unfortunately you need to have a wife in order to have kids, which means putting up with a huge child that has the powers and authorities of an adult. When you're dealing with an unreasonable bitch, the divorce comes no matter what the man does.

In my parents marriage, my father is a "woman". Sounds weird, but it is like that.

I wish my parents divorced. Very immature relationship where my father has no working habits or any sort of interests in his life except eating 3 meals a day and watching TV (he does a 9-5 job tho, but never advanced his career), while my mother makes majority of income but is mentally unstable, however, not so dramatic. She married my dad when she was 22 (my father was 40). I always suspected she married so much older man because her father died recently before she married, so she chose to get attached to another fatherly figure in her life. She began working as very young in order to help support fatherless family, as did her sister and her mother, but no one developed career as she did. They are like cats and dogs in every aspect that there is no day that i don't wonder how the hell did they marry at all. They are old enough not to consider divorce anymore, and are basically putting up with each other.

Through my life, i was taught good manners by my parents, as well as love for arts, knowledge, travel etc. However, what i find to be foundation of my character, i acquired by doing everything opposite of the way my parents did. That being said, i learned self-criticism, confidence, rationalism, overall calm attitude, listening to other people, and not talking too much by seeing their bad behavioral patterns (which after all, disrupted their relationship).

[tylerdurden1993]

I have a completely different experience to the norm as my dad left my mum because he basically wanted to do his own thing (do ironmen triathlons and travel) and a wife and two young kids kind of stops that. I was 10 at the time. It didn't really effect as i always knew they didn't really get on.
I still saw him every other weekend and we get on fine and he'd always be there for me and my brother.
My mum remarried when i was 15 to my stepdad who i didn't get on with at all don't really want to go into it but i moved out at 16 and live with my grandparents when im not at uni.

[Foolsgo1d]

(04-06-2014 11:27 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

If men could just buy a child to raise like he buys a dog, the world would be an infinitely better place.

You know I actually said this to a group of women I work with as there was a big drive to adopt in the city I am in.

They honestly did not know a single man cannot adopt a child for "obvious" reasons.

[cardguy]

Are single men allowed to adopt kids?

If not - is it not a double standard - since single women can adopt kids?

I don't know much about this area - since I never want kids. But I'm just curious.

[Icarus]

(04-07-2014 06:43 AM)Ollave Wrote:  

I'm 30. I am now where I should have been when I was 25 in terms of understanding of women, finances and personal development. I'm lucky, and smart, and will make up ground quickly. Many wont, haven't and can't.

Outstanding post. I can relate. I come from a broken home as well.

[cmrocks]

Great posts guys.

I was hoping to get some thoughtful discussion going with this thread. I'm not surprised that a lot of members on board have similar experiences.

[tawillionaire]

My parents never divorced and I'm glad they didn't. It's not like my dad specifically taught me anything, but as I learn about the red pill on my own I can see how it applies to my parents marriage and think "so that's why that works." I think a lot of red pill guys do what they do out of bitterness because they saw their parents' relationship fail or they had their own relationship failures. Having two parents who are still married lets me see things from a different perspective and I appreciate that.

To all you guys with divorced parents, I feel for you. My uncle -- who babysat me and was like a 3rd parent to me for the first few years of my life -- is not related to me by blood but married my mom's sister. The two of them were considering a divorce a few years ago. They had gone so far as to move into different homes and split time with the kids. Thankfully they never went through with the divorce and reconciled. Had it happened, I would likely have never seen one of my biggest role models again. And it's not like I see him more than a few times a year as is. To lose a dad or mom who is supposed to be your primary caretaker would be devastating.

[Screwston]

I was around 16 and didn't really care. My parents were always on and off growing up and arguing so I wasn't surprised. I don't get why a guy would be so upset and devestated.

[Barry Scrotada]

(04-07-2014 06:43 AM)Ollave Wrote:  

As mentioned, my Dad moved on, got remarried and is still there. My mother never sorted it out and has been failing at life ever since. I love my mother and wish her all the best, but she wont be coming anywhere near my children. I view her like some crazed, stupid, rabid dog. To be kept at arms length, at best. Emotionally that is, I'm still warm and friendly, and I visit her. But she will always be on the outer, she is just to dangerous.
She never got it together post divorce. 50+, wall long since come and gone, and looking at a lonely, resourceless twilight of her life. She has found and lived with decent blokes (and rich some of them), she always just skips out, like it's some sort of program.

This part is a carbon copy of my family. Dad's moved on to another wife, one brother never talks to Mom, another is like me - still able and sometimes happy to talk and meet up with her. Yet she still hopes for some kind of last-chance reconciliation with the other brother like you hear in a country song or Hollywood. Also, any woman I start a relationship with, she finds online, and in some cases, the girl's family as well. Then communication overload from her side. Nothing malicious, just has no sense of boundaries.

What I never understood is what you describe in those last sentences...she found and lived with a legitimate fella or two, but somehow does something to screw up the gravy train!

[Lufty]

It's been really interesting reading everyone's stories, I suppose what they say about birds of a feather is true.

My story isn't terrible remarkable. Parents got divorced when I was 6-7. Never really asked why, decided I didn't want to see my parents as fallible at that age.It was a tough time, parents did a couples therapy sort of thing, which included private sessions with the kids to help us cope. I don't have many memories from before the split but plenty of the break up itself and the immediate aftermath. Fast forward around 15 years and my father has dated around a bit and is marrying again in a few months. Mom meanwhile dated one guy a few years ago but nothing since then. Sad really.

I think the biggest effect it has had on my life is to make me very cynical about relationships, I believe that every relationship ends eventually. (Despite plenty of proof to the contrary) However I suppose that core belief eventually lead me here, so it wasn't all bad.