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Development vs. Tail
#1

Development vs. Tail

As a young guy in this community, I pay special attention to any advice that the older users pass on. A common theme of advice is, "forget tail when your young, instead focus on honing your skills and talents - success first, females later"

What's your take on this?
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#2

Development vs. Tail

Quote: (03-16-2014 03:26 PM)Esoteric94 Wrote:  

As a young guy in this community, I pay special attention to any advice that the older users pass on. A common theme of advice is, "forget tail when your young, instead focus on honing your skills and talents - success first, females later"

What's your take on this?

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The key is balance.
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#3

Development vs. Tail

Do not let girls and game control your life in your 20s.

You should be focused on how to make money, getting rid of psychological blocks from your childhood (we all have them), knowing what you want out of life, observing everything around you and realizing that most people are idiots, solidifying relationships with exemplary family members, and not going into debt.

Treat girls like a fun distraction as a 20 something.

Then, when 30 comes around...the age where a man can really understand himself, you will be an unstoppable force.

Right now, pussy is so easy to come by because girls can recognize a man who knows his shit. But you have to go through the shit first. And believe me, I went through it all. Thank god you have the manosphere internet community now, there is no excuse to fuck up your life.
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#4

Development vs. Tail

Quote: (03-16-2014 06:57 PM)Goldmund Wrote:  

Do not let girls and game control your life in your 20s.

You should be focused on how to make money, getting rid of psychological blocks from your childhood (we all have them), knowing what you want out of life, observing everything around you and realizing that most people are idiots, solidifying relationships with exemplary family members, and not going into debt.

Treat girls like a fun distraction as a 20 something.

Then, when 30 comes around...the age where a man can really understand himself, you will be an unstoppable force.

Right now, pussy is so easy to come by because girls can recognize a man who knows his shit. But you have to go through the shit first. And believe me, I went through it all. Thank god you have the manosphere internet community now, there is no excuse to fuck up your life.

Exactly what he said. Once you cross 30 with all your ducks solidly behind you in a row you will be amazed at how your relationship to money, employment, women, and the world at large will change in a profoundly good way. It is a veritable paradigm shift for men for which younger guys do not really have a first person reference point until that time comes for them given the natural trajectory of the human male life cycle. But it does happen and the clarity that comes with it is astoundingly brilliant. It really is like escaping Plato's cave and basking in the divine light of the sun.
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#5

Development vs. Tail

Quote: (03-16-2014 06:57 PM)Goldmund Wrote:  

Do not let girls and game control your life in your 20s.

You should be focused on how to make money, getting rid of psychological blocks from your childhood (we all have them), knowing what you want out of life, observing everything around you and realizing that most people are idiots, solidifying relationships with exemplary family members, and not going into debt.

Treat girls like a fun distraction as a 20 something.

Then, when 30 comes around...the age where a man can really understand himself, you will be an unstoppable force.

Right now, pussy is so easy to come by because girls can recognize a man who knows his shit. But you have to go through the shit first. And believe me, I went through it all. Thank god you have the manosphere internet community now, there is no excuse to fuck up your life.
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Civilize the mind but make savage the body.
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#6

Development vs. Tail

It's funny because I was thinking about this the other day.

More time making money, going to the gym, boxing, learning a language or any other worthwhile pursuit takes away time from game.

And yet, all of these things raise your value which in turn complements game. So what is man to do?

One idea is to spend Monday-Friday on self-development and then game during the weekend. That way you continue to build your value while getting pussy - but the pussy comes after, not before so your priorities are straight.

This works well for introverts too as it gives you time to recharge and rebuild before gaming again.

PM me for accommodation options in Bangkok.
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#7

Development vs. Tail

This is an excellent topic. Goldmund nailed it, so don't want to sound repetitive.

I'm a big believer in focusing on building yourself into a formidable force. For example, all too often you hear Americans say "I don't need to learn math, I can hire people to do that for me." This is the kind of lazy thinking that may not cause you problems now, but will culminate into who you are and the path you are on later in life.

Work hard, get after it, and you will be making an investment in being able to do what you want, when you want.

Chicks often only like the "take me where the wind blows" type when you are really young. Get to even 28, and the "drifter" game will get crushed by someone harnessing serious skills.

This is why I can't advocate the short term hustles/scams, they don't build skills or character. Sometimes people on this board confuse "hustler mindset" with "entrepreneurial mindset". Whatever you want to label it, if you are trying to make a quick buck by ripping someone off, this won't help your development. If you are trying to rethink a situation, or change the playing field to your better, then by all means this will likely require a hike...a hike that will help your development.

Down the road, if you've put a lot into developing yourself, you can pull top shelf talent without having to randomly"approach" all day. The other path is to be the guy with model looks that literally makes a life out of being a PUA. Both probably work well, but unless you look like Brad Pitt, I'd put my money on building the true substance. (oh, and it isn't like Brad Pitt is a failure on the substance front with all of his accomplishments!).

Take your bet.

(oh, and I pulled top shelf talent along the way before all the other stuff took hold...key was pumping iron. Hit the weights like a beast...it will carry you through until all the other development stuff becomes apparent.)
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#8

Development vs. Tail

Quote: (03-16-2014 09:32 PM)dreambig Wrote:  

It's funny because I was thinking about this the other day.

More time making money, going to the gym, boxing, learning a language or any other worthwhile pursuit takes away time from game.

And yet, all of these things raise your value which in turn complements game. So what is man to do?

One idea is to spend Monday-Friday on self-development and then game during the weekend. That way you continue to build your value while getting pussy - but the pussy comes after, not before so your priorities are straight.

This works well for introverts too as it gives you time to recharge and rebuild before gaming again.

I disagree a bit with Goldmund & Model800. I would say that the best time to game chicks/pursue tail is when one is in college or right after (early 20s) and at their physical best. College presents the greatest opportunity of young & beautiful pussy in one concentrated place (especially if you're in a Liberal Arts school) and in these cases as a student you have a flexible schedule, parties every weekend, and classes frequently with group projects where you don't even need to make the first approach to meet women. This is the biggest regret I have in my life and that is that I never worked on game enough when I was young. Now I have all the material things I need in my life yet due to age and location women are getting harder and harder to date (i guess I gotta stop going for one's a decade younger than myself).

Anyways, you certainly don't want to be a cash rich millionaire who has crossed out his A's & B's in life yet is still a nerd at heart, socially ack-ward and never learned game properly. If you don't believe me watch millionaire matchmaker.
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#9

Development vs. Tail

You should try to develop game when it's easiest to learn game. If you look at a lot of naturals, you'll find that these guys were developing good habits at a very young age. School is a place where you can definitely learn game, and you can still practice there. You certainly can't practice at work.

More importantly, the skills for gaming women apply to gaming other people. Getting a job, keeping a job, and getting promoted to a better job are all based on how you play the game. Seducing employers and managers isn't much different from seducing women.
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#10

Development vs. Tail

Quote: (03-16-2014 10:49 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

You should try to develop game when it's easiest to learn game. If you look at a lot of naturals, you'll find that these guys were developing good habits at a very young age. School is a place where you can definitely learn game, and you can still practice there. You certainly can't practice at work.

More importantly, the skills for gaming women apply to gaming other people. Getting a job, keeping a job, and getting promoted to a better job are all based on how you play the game. Seducing employers and managers isn't much different from seducing women.

Puckerman that is spot on took the words right out of my mouth!
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#11

Development vs. Tail

Amazing input from you guys.

I turned 20 a week ago and I [humbly] consider myself a natural at gaming chicks and people. Like puckerman wrote about "easiest to learn game" that's what I'm good at. I have yet to really put effort into day time approaching and stuff. Regardless of my experience in advanced game, I feel comfortable because I feel as if I have built a foundation for the social part of my person. After reading the posts so far I would tell my peers to focus on development and follow that " easy game"..
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#12

Development vs. Tail

I'm turning 23 this month and I definitely agree that in your 20s should be focusing on your self-development.

Creating passive income, location independence and improving your appearance will do wonders for your game. Not to mention that a huge part of game is logistics.

But you still need good game nonetheless because too long without pussy will make you go insane, plus social mastery will help you in business and enable happy, healthy relationships with your friends and family.

I'm lucky in that I spent the years in university getting to a level I'm more than happy to maintain so now I don't put nearly as much time into it to pickup the type of girls I like.

Though I find after going through that intense period of gaming I'm now not nearly as motivated to pickup regularly, instead opting to work on myself (though to be honest poor logistics is another big reason for that).

I think that you only need a few hours of gaming every week if you're aggressive and persistent when you're out (analogue of High Intensity Training for exercise). It's very easy to maintain a good sex life if you just do a few street approaches whenever you're out running errands even.
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#13

Development vs. Tail

A girl lasts a night. Improving yourself lasts forever.

Your primary goals should be improving yourself. However, as valentine stated, too long without pussy is actually unhealthy and will most likely hamper your self improvement.

So primarily focus on improving yourself. That is a form of game itself. A passive form.

Active game, actually interacting with and picking up girls, should be a secondary goal. Don't confuse it with being unimportant though, as tight game is a form of self improvement and will elevate many aspects of your life.

The goal should be to be disciplined. Work on yourself monday to friday. That means: hard work, no fucking off playing video games, only drinking if dates are scheduled during the week, work out, build new skills, focus on saving money and making your money work for you.

Friday night, saturday, and sunday are your play days. Use that to deload, relieve stress, and work on your active game.

God'll prolly have me on some real strict shit
No sleeping all day, no getting my dick licked

The Original Emotional Alpha
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#14

Development vs. Tail

Tough call.

My younger years I spent them alone, reading, learning all kinds of stuff, practising what I could (yeah, I am a nerd).

Now I have a lot of different skills, and the bitches really LOVE a dude that has mad skills besides bedding them. I wish I had spend more time chasing tail in college and highschool but there were other factors at play.

Nowadays I make my bread and butter with professionals and SWPL kinda chicks. As Heartiste says, these kind of chicks are not used to a man that can be alpha assholeish and yet can read good. Deadly combination when they assume you are just another cavebro and you start dropping on them hints of fine wine, exotic adventures and can quote Shakespeare. While calling them 'lady' or even better, 'broads'.

Get a girl that is cute enough, cool enough and focus on building yourself. Game chicks on the side for sportsmanship (and maybe occasional side tail). I think get money (and knowledge) then fuck bitches works better. In the long run, I think game can only take you so far, but both knowledge and game will make you a force of nature.
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#15

Development vs. Tail

As the great warrior poet Ya Boy once said...

"Fuck bitches, get money"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEn6PMLzqeE


But seriously, when have you ever committed yourself 100% to anything?
Work hard during the week and chase pussy on the weekends.

The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get.
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#16

Development vs. Tail

Game should be a hobby in college. Don't forget about it, but don't let it control your life. College is too good of an opportunity, there are so many women, and the logistics are as good as you are ever going to get. When the old guys say focus on yourself when you are young I think they mean, don't spend the majority of your time in bars and studying pickup.

Make it into something you do passively all the time. Learn how to day game on campus. If you are on campus and you don't approach at least 1 girl you are slouching, it's too easy not to do. Same goes for classes.

Here's another thing; if you really are driven and have a solid plan for your life learn how to communicate that to girls. In college most guys and girls are ho-hum about their futures, so be the guy who has it all figured out. Girls will be drawn to you. I used to have a monologue about how I was basically going to take over the world, and girls ate it up. Confidence is key.
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#17

Development vs. Tail

I view game as just another aspect of self development that you can work on throughout your twenties. It takes a lot of time to get good.

I'd just add, don't forget to enjoy yourself. I know everyone talks about how great the thirties are on here, but for me while my thirties seem to be going great so far, I had an amazing time in my late teens and twenties - travelling, going to festivals, experimenting, and just being young.
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#18

Development vs. Tail

Fantastic thread! A must read for young guns like myself.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I graduated a few months ago and my life has changed pretty drastically in terms of socializing. I used to go out several nights a week, drink, and meet girls and now I do that maybe once a week. To fill the void I started doing online dating. It fulfills the need to get girls, but it can't compare with a night out on the town.

Anyway, I've put getting pussy on the backburner recently and have spent my time being productive working, developing my blog, and reading among other things. It's kind of sad as I'm 22, and I feel like I should be chasing girls, but I'm just not in the mood to. I guess I was spoiled by college and am now in the D.C. area so I'd rather not waste my time with mediocre women.

I think to answer the question though is you have to be fluid in your endeavors. If I was living in Manhattan or Vegas, I'd be spending more time chasing tail, but in DC that desire is significantly less. Also, do what you want. Maybe you want to build yourself up for the next few years developing valuable skills and habits.

The only situation I'd suggest spending an inordinate amount of time on girls is if you have zero game. Get that handled and then put pussy on autopilot whilst spending time building your lifestyle.
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#19

Development vs. Tail

Quote: (03-16-2014 06:57 PM)Goldmund Wrote:  

Do not let girls and game control your life in your 20s.

You should be focused on how to make money, getting rid of psychological blocks from your childhood (we all have them), knowing what you want out of life, observing everything around you and realizing that most people are idiots, solidifying relationships with exemplary family members, and not going into debt.

Treat girls like a fun distraction as a 20 something.

Then, when 30 comes around...the age where a man can really understand himself, you will be an unstoppable force.

Right now, pussy is so easy to come by because girls can recognize a man who knows his shit. But you have to go through the shit first. And believe me, I went through it all. Thank god you have the manosphere internet community now, there is no excuse to fuck up your life.

Yes sir!!!!
Ill be 30 next month in the same boat, been through it all.

This post is golden!
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#20

Development vs. Tail

Game for me was important up front when I first discovered it in college a few years ago. I couldn't get laid for the life of me, and it was the biggest problem in my life at the time. I felt like a sailor who didn't know how to swim, and once I discovered game I devoted most of my time and energy to reading sites like RooshV/Rational Male/Roissy, approaching women, and honing my skill set.

Several years later I'm still working on my game, but it's only fifth or sixth on my priorities list. I'd rather hit the gym, cook a healthy meal, read a book, practice Spanish, get a good night's sleep, or catch up with an old friend, than hit up a bar just to have sex.

There's always room for improvement when it comes to women, but at this point simply knowing that I can get laid if I put the time/effort in is enough for me. It's the difference between having a grocery store right down the street and money in my pocket, versus being completely destitute and not knowing whether I'll eat tonight or starve.

At this point I've essentially transitioned away from night game, and I work on meeting women during the day as I go about my business. If I happen to see a cute girl at the gym/library/grocery store, I'll go chat her up and try to get her out for drinks. Sometimes I can go a whole week without approaching, but I don't mind-I have other things to occupy my time, and I know as long as I take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way I'll eventually get another girl. It's easy for me now, of course, but that's only because I have hundreds of approaches under my belt from the past several years.

In summary, I agree with most of the previous posters. Women should be a side dish, not the main course. Focus on yourself and the women will follow. If you still find game to be too time consuming or detrimental to your other pursuits, consider getting into a short-term relationship instead of constantly trying to bang new girls. At the end of the day, game is about getting your sexual needs met, and dating a girl for a few months can often be a great way to focus on more important things while still getting your rocks off and keeping that skill set sharp.
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#21

Development vs. Tail

Definitely focus on self improvement. The easiest time to learn game is in college. Slay through the bisches and go wild.

Once you're out of college, set up a healthy routine for gaining mass at the gym. Invest your earnings, better yourself.

The worst feeling in the world is getting AMOGed by a Gmanifesto like 30 y/o dude. Nothing pisses me off more and powers me to become the biggest baddest guy ever.

Women have become very low on my priority list whereas the women in my life have focused heavily on getting a man in their lives. The best lesson this forum will teach you is the following:

Do not jump into a commitment early with a woman. You can easily do better in your 30s.
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#22

Development vs. Tail

Why choose just one???

It shouldn't be Development vs. Tail

It should be Development and Tail

Who says we can't work on both at the same time???

Part of "development" is learning social skills.

If you don't have good social skills, your education is incomplete.

The answer is BOTH. Ignoring one or the other is a mistake in my opinion.
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