[Timbuk2]

I'm in the South of France, and am meeting tonight for a second language exchange with a 25 year old French business student.

Me: 30 years old american engineer, working in France for 6 months, learning French. 6'4", 170 lbs, attractive but could use some newer clothes and glasses. I should probably put it all on credit, but just those three things could push 900 EUR. I'm going to get 20k USD this month, so maybe I should just go for it.

Her: 25 year old business student, cute. Lively. Lived in england for a year and speaks english well.. Currently lives with her parents.

History: We went out for a beer and for a language exchange 5 days ago. Warmed up to each other. I touched her hands to make fun of her nails (probably hand touching isn't the most sly move, but whatever). She didn't take them away at all. Maintained eye contact the entire night...

Gave me a ride back to my apt. It was midnight and she had a long day the next day (travelling with professors) so I didn't invite her in.

I can go out with her again tonight... I'm into her, but I do think it's sketchy to go for a kiss after meeting under the guise of a language exchange, how can I change it into a date, and how can I gauge interest?

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

You're on a good path, but there are two problems here:

1) You shouldn't feel ashamed or sketchy for trying to do something with her. You aren't doing anything wrong. If she doesn't like it, you'll just stop doing what you're doing and that's it, no harm done. Knowing this, feel free to escalate.

2) It's natural that going for a kiss is going to feel like a huge step when you haven't progressed beyond eye contact and briefly touching her hand (which was a good move). You have to slowly work your way up towards more intimate touching (for example, her back, forearm, outer thigh, placing a hand around her) to reduce the "gap" between just briefly touching her and kissing her. Once you've done that, you'll stop feeling anxious about it. This is a rough guide:

http://www.vindicarlo.com/DiCarlo%20Esca...lo.com.pdf
Roosh's "Bang" also has a detailed instruction on this as well as several more things you can do.

That said, your situation seems favorable. You just need to close the deal.

p.s. while all of this can be done while learning the language in the same place, it wouldn't hurt to get up for a walk about halfway through your meeting and move to a different place. This will change the character of your meeting from a language exchange more in the direction of a date.

[Timbuk2]

(03-07-2014 06:43 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

You're on a good path, but there are two problems here:

1) You shouldn't feel ashamed or sketchy for trying to do something with her. You aren't doing anything wrong. If she doesn't like it, you'll just stop doing what you're doing and that's it, no harm done. Knowing this, feel free to escalate.

2) It's natural that going for a kiss is going to feel like a huge step when you haven't progressed beyond eye contact and briefly touching her hand (which was a good move). You have to slowly work your way up towards more intimate touching (for example, her back, forearm, outer thigh, placing a hand around her) to reduce the "gap" between just briefly touching her and kissing her. Once you've done that, you'll stop feeling anxious about it. This is a rough guide:

http://www.vindicarlo.com/DiCarlo%20Esca...lo.com.pdf
Roosh's "Bang" also has a detailed instruction on this as well as several more things you can do.

That said, your situation seems favorable. You just need to close the deal.

p.s. while all of this can be done while learning the language in the same place, it wouldn't hurt to get up for a walk about halfway through your meeting and move to a different place. This will change the character of your meeting from a language exchange more in the direction of a date.

Thanks for the tips. She just send me a cute email and it looks like she's game to go to a climbing gym a few hundred meters from my house, and then I'm planning to skip the bar and bring her back to my apt (in a landmark building) for a drink.

[Satoshi]

In my experience French girls shows it clearly when they are interested.

[Statsi]

Why do you care if she's interested? If you're interested then go for it.

[Timbuk2]

Okay, she's coming over tonight. She didn't want to go downtown because it's too hard to park, and asked if there were any restaurants near my house. I told her just to come over and I'd cook. She says "Super, do you need me to bring anything?" I say "You know, I think I'm all set" and she says "how about a bottle of wine?"

She'll be here in four hours, with wine. I'm making salad, soup, and local pasta. I have some episodes of seinfeld and some movies in french.

Any last-minute pro-tips?

[Vicious]

(03-08-2014 09:59 AM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  

Okay, she's coming over tonight. She didn't want to go downtown because it's too hard to park, and asked if there were any restaurants near my house. I told her just to come over and I'd cook. She says "Super, do you need me to bring anything?" I say "You know, I think I'm all set" and she says "how about a bottle of wine?"

She'll be here in four hours, with wine. I'm making salad, soup, and local pasta. I have some episodes of seinfeld and some movies in french.

I'm almost hoping this is trolling.

Those are all green lights, IOI in PUA speak or fuck-me signs as I call them.

Do not get stuck watching fucking Seinfeld, in fact don't even turn on the TV. You're allowed to have some soft lounge music in the background or that Jeanne Cherhal album that inspired you moving to France.

You are going to make a dish you learned from a mad Italian chef while being a bus-boy in college. You'll serve her a port wine for desert which you discovered while touring wine yards in Portugal. You will tell her about the interesting sculpture in your living room you picked up will trekking off the beaten path in Vietnam or which your friend an up-and.coming artist in Brooklyn made for you.

You are going to laugh light heartedly. You are going to talk about how silly the American-French antagonism is and what a beautiful country France is.

At some point when she laugh you are going to take the wine glass from her hand put it on the table and kiss her with softly but with conviction.

[Timbuk2]

No, I'm not trolling. I've gotten with a number of really beautiful, talented, hilarious women over the years (if people saw a gallery of pictures of girls I've dated, they'd think I was a player. If they saw the time frame, they'd think I was a sexual camel. I wait, and wait, and when finally someone comes along and it works, I rock their world an they really fall for me. But it's all long-term stuff. I'd known the girls in advance, etc.). My issue is that I've never felt in control of who I dated. I just wound up dating people who wanted to date me (or who'd I liked and sensed would be receptive to my advances). But I've never tried to go on dates with people I didn't already have some sort of connection with. This is my first experiment with planning a relationship in advance from zero to hook-up--instead of thinking, WOW, my hot friend liked me all along and now we're making out--that's all.

I was also curious to hear input from the forum on this particular situation, just to see what other input was offered, what I might have missed, etc.

(03-08-2014 10:21 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

I'm almost hoping this is trolling.

Those are all green lights, IOI in PUA speak or fuck-me signs as I call them.

Do not get stuck watching fucking Seinfeld, in fact don't even turn on the TV. You're allowed to have some soft lounge music in the background or that Jeanne Cherhal album that inspired you moving to France.

You are going to make a dish you learned from a mad Italian chef while being a bus-boy in college. You'll serve her a port wine for desert which you discovered while touring wine yards in Portugal. You will tell her about the interesting sculpture in your living room you picked up will trekking off the beaten path in Vietnam or which your friend an up-and.coming artist in Brooklyn made for you.

You are going to laugh light heartedly. You are going to talk about how silly the American-French antagonism is and what a beautiful country France is.

At some point when she laugh you are going to take the wine glass from her hand put it on the table and kiss her with softly but with conviction.

[Timbuk2]

She told a sweet story about one of her relatives, I said a cute comment about it, and decided to follow the advice above. She is great, and I didn't want to be kicking myself later.

Worked out very, well. Thanks for the boost, guys.

[Parlay44]

If she reaches around and squeezes your balls while you're banging her from behinds I'd say she likes you

[Timbuk2]

So what's the standard follow up? Text her the next day to meet again, or wait until she texts me? Ideally she'd come over on her way home from school 2x a week for some attention.

[GreenLion]

In wich city are you living Timbuk ?
Wait two days and if she doesn't text you, text her .

[Vicious]

(03-08-2014 05:18 PM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  

She told a sweet story about one of her relatives, I said a cute comment about it, and decided to follow the advice above. She is great, and I didn't want to be kicking myself later.

Worked out very, well. Thanks for the boost, guys.

Glad things worked out for you, I hoped you didn't settle for just some spit swapping.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

(03-08-2014 05:18 PM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  

She told a sweet story about one of her relatives, I said a cute comment about it, and decided to follow the advice above. She is great, and I didn't want to be kicking myself later.

Worked out very, well. Thanks for the boost, guys.

Awesome! Glad to hear it

[Veloce]

(03-08-2014 10:43 AM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  

No, I'm not trolling. I've gotten with a number of really beautiful, talented, hilarious women over the years (if people saw a gallery of pictures of girls I've dated, they'd think I was a player. If they saw the time frame, they'd think I was a sexual camel. I wait, and wait, and when finally someone comes along and it works, I rock their world an they really fall for me. But it's all long-term stuff. I'd known the girls in advance, etc.). My issue is that I've never felt in control of who I dated. I just wound up dating people who wanted to date me (or who'd I liked and sensed would be receptive to my advances). But I've never tried to go on dates with people I didn't already have some sort of connection with. This is my first experiment with planning a relationship in advance from zero to hook-up--instead of thinking, WOW, my hot friend liked me all along and now we're making out--that's all.

I was also curious to hear input from the forum on this particular situation, just to see what other input was offered, what I might have missed, etc.

What you wrote above could apply to 99% of all guys that find their way here. It certainly resonates with me.

Same deal, before discovering game I had LTRs with very good looking girls but few and far between, and I relied on the goodwill of the universe to make things happen.

Take to heart what Vicious wrote. Over time you need to take a more dominant role, as you come off as quite passive. Forget everything you know about taking it slow or "waiting for the time to be right". That's all outdated garbage.

Forget that nonsense about anything seeming sketchy. She's a woman, you're a man. It's not weird or sketchy unless you make it that way.

In my limited experience with French girls I've found them to be some of the most openly sexual creatures I've ever encountered.