[OGNorCal707]

As many of you know I dated a BPD girl in the past that really fucked up my life, culminating in my wrongful arrest for domestic violence.

A lot of guys have already given a good summary, but I will add and recap some stuff briefly. First of all a great book I recommend for anyone who thinks they may be seeing a BPD girl or anyone who dated one in the past who wants to find more info. or closure, is called "Stop Walking on Eggshells".

BPD is a cluster B personality disorder along with narcisistic, historonic, and anti-social personality disorders, often times a girl will display charactersistics of all these disorders, but I straight up read that 25% of BPD women also are narcisistic as well. My EX was 100% full blown BPD, but also had enough characteristics of narcisistic as well to be diagnosable, according to the DSM manual.

Okay a run down of traits:

Mirroring (when a BPD girl first meets you, she will size you up and figure out your interests and personality, and then mirror it, molding herself into what she thinks you will find to be the perfect girl)

BPD women tend to be very beautiful and know how to use their beauty for seduction, they also tend to be very socially outgoing and charismatic... They usually can make friends very easily and can move into social circles easily.

Although they tend to make friends easily, usually their friendships breakdown after 6 months after they do some fucked up shit, or their friends figure out how fucked up they are.

BPD women are extremely sexual, and will give you the wildest more stimulating sex of your life, they tend to be nymphomaniacs who will do very kinky shit like lick ass, ass to mouth, etc. A lot of women in porn are most likely BPD.

BPD women tend to be pathological liars, they are stone cold liars who will tell elaborate lies to your face without batting an eyelash, they will be convincing as hell.

They are extremely self absorbed and self centered, they will fuck people over without an after thought to get their way or "get ahead", they have no remorse for their actions or sympathy for anyone else.

BPD women tend to be very obcessive, you can expect them to call you or text you constantly

BPD tend to fall into extremely close relationships very quickly, they will tell you they love you very early on and try to get you to bond and connect to them immmediately

They tend to alternate between putting you on the pedestal and tell you that they love you more than anything in the world, and then flip and say you are a piece of shit and that they hate you.

They are extremely emotional and can go from being ecstatic and overjoyed to extremely angry, sad, or depressed, they have insane mood swings.

BPD women are prone to drug and alcohol abuse, a lot of them lack self control whether it be when it comes to drug use or sex.

They are extremely obsessed with what people think about them, and have very fragile egos.

They almost always feel like they are the victim and fear abandonment, a common trend is that they were sexually abused as children.


These women are completely psychotic and to be avoided at all costs, the sex with them can be insane and can become highly addictive, but once they have you in their grasp, nothing good can come of it.


OG

[anonymous123]

Excellent write up OGNorCal. I think it is helpful that you laid out behavioral examples and not just a list of traits. I also think that your list shows how these bitches can operate under the radar to those unaware of this condition. This can result in you thinking the chick is "just a little fucked up, but overall very good".

I've decided to go no contact on the Soviet again. The last visit was excellent and nothing happened. But, I realize that I'm playing with matches.

(well, nothing that I know of went wrong...but I woke up with a huge fucking bruise near my armpit...looked like a nasty bite. But, it almost felt like I got stuck with a needle. The bite felt more like a tetanus shot. No shit. But, haven't spoke of it because I don't want anyone to think I'm delusional...and after all it probably is just a bite. But, the fact that my mind even went there that she could do something fucked up like jam me with a needle while I'm asleep is reason enough to stay away).

Oh, and she offered me a Russian prescription drug in the morning when I dropped her off. She said, "no worry, it is a little weaker than valium, it is nice". I told her I didn't really feel like I needed a fucking valium at 10:30am on a nice day...actually, I felt more like hitting some weights and getting a car wash. WTF?

[Christian McQueen]

"These women are completely psychotic and to be avoided at all costs, the sex with them can be insane and can become highly addictive, but once they have you in their grasp, nothing good can come of it."

^^^The best summary I've seen on BPD bitches.

[iknowexactly]

(03-27-2014 10:47 PM)LeBeau Wrote:  

Another thing regarding guys recognizing their own red flags.

If you're someone who usually sees the optimistic side of things, or see the potential in everyone to better themselves, you'll be more likely to get drawn into drama with these chicks.

Strong agree.

optimism is generally a good trait to have in approaching life--however, in dealing with personality disorder; it only tends to cause you to tolerate higher losses before you reset boundaries again.

[DVY]

@anon123- she probably offered you valerian root extract. Really popular folk remedy similar to valium but 1/10 strength.

[ChocolateCockOfZeus]

Oh, I've got some!

- she was arrested 3 times for assault/battery before we dated, and a couple more times after.

- she got into huge blow outs at work a couple times, but kept her job because she was "close" with the GM.

- gave my 11 year old cousin her phone number (supposedly to boost his confidence, but it was really so she could use him to keep tabs on me).

- I called her from my moms phone once...she saved the number and later used it to try to contact me. No biggie, right? Well, one night I was ignoring her calls, so she called my moms phone 16 times while she was trying to sleep.

- once when I was in the car with her, my mother called me...I was on the phone with my mom for maybe 2 minutes. The crazy bitch got jealous, told me to hang up on my mom, and got pissed when I gave her the "you can't be serious" look. Then she snatches the phone out of my hand and hangs up on my mom. That was the first time I had to stop myself from going Sean Connery on her ass.

- she pulled the false pregnancy move, tried to get me to end my relationship with my mom (lmao), and tried to replace my friends and family with hers. Her ex husband always gave me a look of pity, I didn't know why until it was all over. Oh yeah, she was married with a kid and divorced, and engaged again to someone else before age 20.

[The_CEO]

(04-15-2014 04:03 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

These women are completely psychotic and to be avoided at all costs, the sex with them can be insane and can become highly addictive, but once they have you in their grasp, nothing good can come of it.
OG

I had a close-call with someone like this - I thought she was Histrionic which is similar to what you describe. Basically what you observe and warn about in your post is dead-on.

It's sounds funny to say but they are dangerous to the extent that it's best to go no-contact w/ them.

I've also read that they are not treatable - histrionics at least - they even manipulate mental health professionals. And they tend to get worse with age.

[anonymous123]

^correct, there is no cure. That is the key difference between a personality disorder and some type of mental/chemical imbalance. Histrionic is definitely in the same family as BPD.

Any professional that isn't trying to be politically correct will tell you the only hope is to go no contact and run away.

They can manipulate a therapist and if they need to go to court for anything, they can "sing to the courts."

One other gem, the high functioning/invisible type often go into social work, become therapists, or go into law. In these professions they can most easily cloak their disorder, and use their backgrounds to completely fuck up the lives of others (with their "host" bearing the brunt of their disorder).

[The_CEO]

(04-19-2014 03:48 PM)anonymous123 Wrote:  

One other gem, the high functioning/invisible type often go into social work, become therapists, or go into law. In these professions they can most easily cloak their disorder, and use their backgrounds to completely fuck up the lives of others (with their "host" bearing the brunt of their disorder).

What a nightmare (the malicious therapist).

Not sure if this warning was mentioned already but the histrionic I crossed paths with - she once got visibly angry and was repulsed by the idea of motherhood (she raised the issue). That is another thing i noticed with her - that at times it seemed like her seductive, charismatic mask would momentarily drop, revealing a very angry persona.

[Earth]

damn..

[Flint]

(04-15-2014 04:03 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

BPD women are extremely sexual, and will give you the wildest more stimulating sex of your life, they tend to be nymphomaniacs who will do very kinky shit like lick ass, ass to mouth, etc. A lot of women in porn are most likely BPD.

[...]

They almost always feel like they are the victim and fear abandonment, a common trend is that they were sexually abused as children.

delicioustacos made an excellent comment on this phenomena in this thread.

I'm quoting the whole thing because it's so intense and brilliant.

Quote:

NOTE: THE BELOW IS BASED ON MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY.

Can sex workers make good girlfriends? Well, can wolves make good pets? You certainly look badass walking around with them, but ultimately they are dangerous. They are too wild and cannot be controlled.

I've dated 3 hookers. One of them was a craigslist fetish whore. Guys would pay her to laugh at them as they shit in a diaper and then jerk them off after. One was involved with a big speed dealer who would pimp her out as a cherry on top of drug deals. One was a girl from a good family who just needed dirty thrills so bad she started selling her pussy on craigslist at age 17. The former two had also stripped, performed in porn, and been camwhores. I've also fooled around with innumerable other strippers, marginal XHamster day players and "gray area" whores who fuck old men for vacations and presents.

Whether you can hang with these types of women, and whether you even want to, comes down to what *you* are like. Are you nuts? They are. Do you enjoy drama? They do. Do you mind being baited into blind rage and occasional physical violence? I hope not, because it will happen.

Now I happen to be nuts, so I had what I consider good experiences. But you are not going to date a professional slut if you're a square who has to get up early and look at spreadsheets. You're not even going to get near that type of girl without paying. And if you're paying, you're already fucked. That dynamic is almost impossible to break. You have to meet them outside the workplace.

Fortunately, they are out there. They are on OKCupid, weirdly, often with the most interesting profiles. They are at parties, albeit better ones than you're being invited to. But if you can get into that world-- the people who dress crazy and stay up till sunrise doing coke on a Tuesday, they're there. And it's not exactly solving a Rubik's cube to get into their pants.

You can't judge them. For anything, ever. If you have one atom of sexual jealousy in your body, steer clear. They have had oceans of cock, much of it larger and more skillfully wielded than yours. You can't give a shit. And I am trafficking in stereotypes here, but: they are like this because they were molested. The fetish girl lost her virginity at age 4 to her 16 year old foster brother. The speed dealer girl was “dating” a 35 year old bartender who would get her drunk and high every day after school when she was 13. You are delving into, and sexually profiting from, the darkest depths of human misery. If this bothers you, don't do it.

The good news is they are often fascinating, hilarious, brutally honest, wonderful people. There's a lot of bellyaching on the manosphere about how boring and dishonest and shallow women are in the dating scene. Well, these girls are not like that. They may not quote Plato but they understand human nature. They are, to use a cliché, “red pill.” They can have wicked senses of humor; they can casually drop stories that will blow your mind. And of course, they can fuck.

But what they can't do is settle down and stay with a guy. What they can't do is hold back from sending you a text every two weeks that they've locked themselves in the bathroom and are about to slit their wrists and take 40 Tylenol PM's. What they can't do is sleep soundly in their own god damn house at night instead of banging on your door at 3am when you have to get up the next morning and put on a tie and look at spreadsheets. Them having a normal life is like a circus bear riding a bicycle. You can make them do it in short bursts but you're constantly on your toes about the thing ripping your head off.

Treat a hooker/ stripper/ porn performer like a wild animal. They can be breathtaking when encountered, and if they get close to you for a minute it's an experience you will remember for the rest of your life. But it's cruel to both of you to have the thing living in your house.

(Insert your own joke about making coats out of their skin)

[Flint]

Ok, I need some advice on this particular situation I've found myself in. I'm not really sure if this Hispanic girl from the US is just a little bit crazy and can be handled with a determined approach (which I'm suspecting as for now) or if I'm underestimating potential underlying BPD tendencies. Note: We are both currently residing in a second world country.

Suspicious things, I noticed about her:

#1 She just broke up with her bf, whom I know and who already left the country, and made out with me only one day after it happened. Two weeks ago, when they were still together, we also danced and kissed briefly in front of all her friends, after she told me that she finds me hot, that I smell good, etc. Generally spoonfeeding me with compliments which is unusual for a girl of her beauty (she is an 8 in my book).
#2 She is tattooed.
#3 She cut her hair two days she broke up with that dude (I told her to keep them long).
#4 Not sure if that counts as red flag, but on her FB profile you can still see all her photos with her exes.
#5 The other night we talked with some friends about bride kidnapping and honor rape in Central Asia. She was smiling all the time and talked very light-heartedly about these issues, as opposed to the other girls in the round.
#6 She is rather red-pill and levelheaded about many things; making fun of political correct, white liberals while also making fair, balanced judgements of situations and people. She doesn't have the binary good/bad thinking described earlier.
#7 She often talks about sex.

I'm undecided if these are just signs of an average attention whore or if she is outright crazy.

I've been on a dry spell for three months and want to fuck her badly. This girl is seriously hot and it should be a piece of cake to bag her when I'll meet her later this week. But she is also an interesting person and I can see myself dating her for a little bit.

Opinions?

[samsamsam]

Flint, how easily could you avoid her or cut her out of your life without repercussions to you?

Sounds like you share the same social circle, etc.

[Flint]

(04-21-2014 11:28 AM)samsamsam Wrote:  

Flint, how easily could you avoid her or cut her out of your life without repercussions to you?

Sounds like you share the same social circle, etc.

Yes, we share the same social circle and it would be hard but not impossible to avoid her in the town we are living in. I'm not too afraid of repercussions because I'm (yet) on good terms with everyone and even if shit hit the fan, I'd be out of the country in three months anyway. Also, social circle incest is rampant here.

[samsamsam]

(04-21-2014 11:40 AM)Flint Wrote:  

(04-21-2014 11:28 AM)samsamsam Wrote:  

Flint, how easily could you avoid her or cut her out of your life without repercussions to you?

Sounds like you share the same social circle, etc.

Yes, we share the same social circle and it would be hard but not impossible to avoid her in the town we are living in. I'm not too afraid of repercussions because I'm (yet) on good terms with everyone and even if shit hit the fan, I'd be out of the country in three months anyway. Also, social circle incest is rampant here.

Fair enough, that would be my major concern. While social circle incest is rampant there. IS it rampant with batshit crazy women? As long as you think you have a handle on it, why not. Slap a rubber on and have fun. I think on this thread guys who have more experience with crazy chicks say once isn't so bad.

[Bushido]

Am I the only one to have been unlucky enough to date a crazy who was bad in bed? The flight attendant (a histrionic narcissist, I think) would just lie there in bed. I remember a few times during foreplay where she'd interrupt me and say "I'm ready now" - as in give me the dick already. At the time it seemed OK, but now it strikes me as weird as fuck.

When she gave head it was lacklustre and often wouldnt bother to finish properly. She was all talk and sexual innuendo on Facebook or with her girlfriends though. It used to frustrate the hell out of me. I wonder if this was deliberately calculated on her part.

I'm consciously trying to keep her off the pedestal here so bear with me. Lets just say that she was hot. In fact, hot enough that despite her being shit in bed, the sex was amazing. Looks-wise she was close enough to my "type" to make me cum ridiculously quickly. She also had the best skin and cleanest, tightest pussy i have ever come across. I had to buy thicker condoms to last longer. The irony with this is my only issue with most girls is sometimes finishing - it takes me forever. But it was the opposite with her.

I still have the odd dream where she is suddenly great in bed, instead of what she was really like. We are talking two years later. Can anyone relate to this or am I just fucked in the head?

[DVY]

haha @dreambig was she a Japanese flight attendendant?

[Bushido]

(04-21-2014 12:11 PM)DVY Wrote:  

haha @dreambig was she a Japanese flight attendendant?

Yes she was Japanese and one quarter Hawaiian. People would sometimes come up and ask if she was a Latina.

[Giovonny]

I love dating girls like this! That probably means that I am a little crazy myself!

The sex with these girls is often mind-blowing! These girls turn my fantasies into realities!

Their sexual imagination and lack of inhibitions was inspiring for my cock!

I'm fortunate that none of them have given me any problems.

One of them had an anxiety attack and ended up in the mental health ward at the hospital. I went to visit her, as I was visiting her in the hospital, I was getting an erection thinking about how this crazy b*tch was gonna let me do whatever I wanted to her.

I took her home and had the time of my life!

The key is that you have to disengage emotionally from them. Don't be connected to what she says or does, literally ignore it. Do not be emotionally involved, only be sexually involved.

I seriously would go to a BPD support group meeting just to pick up chicks! I need to start checking out the mental health offices at universities!!

I know, I have to very careful. I will.

I see these girls like fire, they can burn you, but, if you are careful they can greatly enhance your life (sexually)

[CJ_W]

Reminds me of one chick who, form looking at this thread now, I dodged a REAL bullet. I met her from Craigslsit, went to a lovehotel to bang the next night. She was saying shit like "hurry up and finish" during the bang. . .had fake tits, and during the bang got a call from "Asian Mystique" . . .(I saw the name on her phone and was like huh ok) and I heard that she had to go out somewhere for a job like right then. . . so I finished and she left. When I got home I googled that company and turns out it was a prostitution company and she was a prostitute.

She would say weird shit like: "I had a black bf from Chicago, etc etc." . .then tell me that she hates black guys. . .(yet she wanted to bang me) . . .I figured there was something up and stayed away after that.

I think I'm glad I did.

[OGNorCal707]

(04-21-2014 12:59 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

I love dating girls like this! That probably means that I am a little crazy myself!

The sex with these girls is often mind-blowing! These girls turn my fantasies into realities!

Their sexual imagination and lack of inhibitions was inspiring for my cock!

I'm fortunate that none of them have given me any problems.

One of them had an anxiety attack and ended up in the mental health ward at the hospital. I went to visit her, as I was visiting her in the hospital, I was getting an erection thinking about how this crazy b*tch was gonna let me do whatever I wanted to her.

I took her home and had the time of my life!

The key is that you have to disengage emotionally from them. Don't be connected to what she says or does, literally ignore it. Do not be emotionally involved, only be sexually involved.

I seriously would go to a BPD support group meeting just to pick up chicks! I need to start checking out the mental health offices at universities!!

I know, I have to very careful. I will.

I see these girls like fire, they can burn you, but, if you are careful they can greatly enhance your life (sexually)

Giovonny like always you make a great point, I love how you can be like the Lao Tzu of game, being non-attached, going with the flow, and not letting your emotions rule you!

However, there is a flaw in your equation, you are in control of your emotions, the BPD woman is completely NOT in control of her emotions. You can't count on your non-attachment, leading to her non-attachment to you. These women are often completely neurotic, obsessive, and lack self control, when you add all those things together it can be like throwing gasoline on a flame.

Once you get involved with these chicks there is no guarantee that she won't start obsessively calling and texting you, showing up at your home unannounced, stalking you online, stalking you in real life.

That's just the tip of the ice burg, now just factor in her fear of abandonment (which is one of the key characteristics of BPD), and now you may have to deal with her wanting to get pregnant, her threatening and blackmailing you, her making false rape accusations, her attacking you physically, her wrongfully calling the police.

The night my EX called 911 she was standing next to her bedroom wall, making a motion like she was going to head butt it, she was threatening to smash her own head against the wall to make it look like I beat her up when the police came... Thank God she didn't, I still got arrested because the fucking pigs claimed they saw a "red mark" on her neck which was bullshit... But that was a very traumatic experience, and I will admit that I still get goosebumps thinking about it.

No piece of ass, no matter how hot, how wild, how she will deep throat your cock while licking your balls at the same time, is worth having to deal with that bullshit.

Now I will take some responsibility for my own actions, I will admit that I fell under her spell, she was incredibly intoxicating, she really got into my head, she really knew how to put me on a pedestal and stroke my ego, she gave me the most mind blowing orgasms of my life, she was beautiful so I had guys (many of who used to clown on me when my game was weak) giving me props in envy....

Unfortunately I was naive and much less experienced with women then, so I didn't know what I was getting myself into, let alone a lot of the warning signs to look for.

That said, maybe if you are at Gio's jedi level of game and non-attachment, you can fuck with these chicks without getting sucked in... But the average guy who hasn't fucked a girl that hot or hasn't gotten sex that wild will get sucked in. That is not even factoring in how utterly deceptive, manipulative, and conniving these women are, often times due to "mirroring" your personality, they will create an ideal version of themselves that is like a "halogram", it's not real, but since you are just meeting them for the first time you think that is true to their personality and who they really are.

Sometimes it takes a few months before the demon of the BPD starts to rear it's ugly head. At that point it's too late, she's already sunk her claws into you, and trying to escape her grasp is going to be ugly no matter how you deal with it.

[Giovonny]

(04-21-2014 01:25 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I love how you can be like the Lao Tzu of game, being non-attached, going with the flow, and not letting your emotions rule you!

Thank you. I believe that "non-attachment" is vital for the modern man.

There is so much stimulation, so much to pay attention to, so many games being played..

I believe that most of us are overly stimulated to the point that we are sort of "intoxicated" or "numb".

We can not allow the emotional energy of society effect us. We can not let the emotional energy of other people effect us.

We must detach. For most of history, man was only aware of his life, his families life, and maybe what was going on within a few mile radius. Today, we are aware of single fucking thing that happens on every corner of the globe. We must detach!

We can not be attached to the 24/7 news cycle of information, social media, other people, news, politics, sports, girls, etc.

We must protect our inner tranquility above all else. We must protect our emotional energy and not let it be a rag doll getting tossed around this ocean of information and opinion.

(04-21-2014 01:25 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

However, there is a flaw in your equation, you are in control of your emotions, the BPD woman is completely NOT in control of her emotions. You can't count on your non-attachment, leading to her non-attachment to you.

Fair point. That's very true.

Crazy chicks might get attached to me and honestly, sometimes they do.

It is a chance I am willing to take.

We all take chances -- Falling in love is taking a chance, raw dogging is taking a chance, driving is taking a chance, investing is taking a chance, not working on our game is taking a chance.

It's all risk and reward. Sometimes, its worth it and sometimes its not.

We all have different levels of comfort in terms of risk taking.

Personally, I am comfortable taking a chance with crazy chicks. They have provided me with the best sexual experiences of my life and they haven't given me too many problems. I have been lucky.

It's just like when we met up at the beach near your house. Some people would have said that we were taking a chance, but we knew the risks and we were comfortable taking that risk.

It was a little scary, but in the end, it was no big deal.

I guess all I'm saying is that I am comfortable taking a chance with crazy chicks. I am a bit of a risk taker.

(04-21-2014 01:25 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

That said, maybe if you are at Gio's jedi level of game and non-attachment, you can fuck with these chicks without getting sucked in... But the average guy who hasn't fucked a girl that hot or hasn't gotten sex that wild will get sucked in.

I agree 100%

The "average" guy should probably avoid these chicks.

I think Delicioustacos said it best..

(07-26-2013 02:46 PM)delicioustacos Wrote:  

But you are not going to date a professional slut if you're a square who has to get up early and look at spreadsheets.

These girls are not for the feint of heart!

These girls are dangerous!

I just happen to be very adventurous and good at detaching my emotions from crazy women.

It has worked for me but I definitely caution another guys -- Be careful, be very careful.

These girls are like narcotics, use them but be careful that they don't start using you.

[The_CEO]

The other thing for a novice, if you're not operating on a GIO-Ninja level with a Histrionic (or BPD), you realize you're neck deep when it's too late.

You might think you're gaming them but it's they who have been gaming you since the beginning.

They sink their hooks deep - it's very f'ked up - maybe they are like female versions of psychopaths.

[Bushido]

It's interesting that Giovonny talks about "non-attachment" in this thread. He is certainly right but I want to add a voice of caution. 99% of you guys are not built to handle these girls in a relationship.

The only people who can successfully date BPD's are guys with sociopathic traits. Psychopaths (same as sociopaths) don't experience emotions in the way most of us do and therefore can't be manipulated by these chicks.

A classic example is Hannah McKay, who falls in love with the serial killer Dexter Morgan. Of course, she kills off all of her other "normal" lovers.

I'm not saying that Giovonny is a psychopath. Far from it. Without wanting to get too deep here, I think that a lot of game is just learned sociopathy. Most psychopaths do very well with women. There is something to be said for having less feelings.

Psychopaths get a bad name but they aren't all murderers. Many of them are upstanding members of society such as surgeons, pilots, special forces and so on. The kind of guys who seem fearless generally are...exactly that. They are wired differently from me and you.

Do you want your pilot to get nervous landing the plane?
How about the surgeon operating on your heart? Didn't think so.

An fascinating read on the topic:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Wisdom-Psychop...0374533989

[poutsara]

interesting