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Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls
#1

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

I've seen a more than few threads about how to start or maintain a conversation with a girl. Whether it's because the girls in question have no interests or the guy can't quite figure out what really engages her, this seems like a common enough problem in the age of dating apps. Plus, a player's greatest asset is his conversation.

So you're out with a girl, and she's not really talking. The common mistake is to take over the conversation by bragging about how great you are. To sell yourself and build a huge bonfire of attraction because of your high value. The problem is that overselling yourself makes you look weak. You're chasing after her approval and neglecting to build rapport. You're ruining your mystery.

The better play is to have her talk. Get her yammering, and suddenly she's chasing after your approval. It also gives you a variety of responses. You can tease her. You can nod in approval. You're now in control of the conversation.

A story or two has its place, but you have to use that story to get her talking instead. The easiest subject for a girl to talk about is herself. So your focus should be 1) to get her talking 2) about herself.

Instead of rattling off your greatest hits, tell one good story with an emotional hook. It doesn't have to make you look like the biggest and baddest man on the planet (although ideally, you don't come off as a tool). The key is the emotion.

Hopefully, she'll pick up on the emotion, which you should mention by name in your story, and tell one of her own that relates. If not, you can ask her to tell you "the last time something like that happened to you."

But with some girls that won't work. You try to steer the conversation somewhere interesting, and she'll bring everything back to her work, her school, or her circle of friends. With girls this basic, it's hard to resist the urge to run through your highlight reel of cool stuff.

Again, that's a mistake. Chicks communicate through their emotions. So you'll want to connect with her emotionally. It's hard to outcompete the 10,000's of men available to her via her smartphone to be the coolest, wealthiest, sexiest, etc. Instead, you can stand out by having an instant connection.

Let her tell you about her some mundane drama in her life. Then when she finishes her story, ask her, "How did that make you feel?"

She will respond with a long answer. Repeat a word or phrase (the emotional hook of her response) back to her to get her to explain further. Now she's opening up to you.

Keep the conversation going until you can get to a place where you can make a push for sex. Rinse and repeat.
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#2

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

If a girl is terrible at conversation I like to do one of the following personality tests, I learned about them all from this forum in one manner or another and they haves yet to fail at getting the girl to talk more.

I do agree about the story with an emotional hook however these area bit more interactive and give a few more options for various rabbit trails you can go down. Half the time I have them getting chatty after the first question.

http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/10/23/advance...e-routine/

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/06/...a-routine/

http://www.getinhermind.com/sure-fire-ro...t-the-cube

I like these because there are always some girls who are a bit guarded about talking about themselves. However these personality tests are like defense nukes.
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#3

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

This is very true. The best conversational skill is to get the girl talking.

It's quite simple to talk to girls once you get the drift. No amazing or outstanding stories and experiences needed. Not even some cool stuff. Connection is built around basic everyday things.
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#4

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

Great post. "How did that make you feel?" has always worked wonders with me. It's always nice to be able to predict the emotions she was feeling: "That must've been terrifying" (like you mention in repeating her hook, but before she gives you the hook), it's an extremely easy way to get her to connect and emotionally invest in you as someone who "gets" her. I also like to predict the obviously wrong emotion - the further from accurate the better. It puts her on her toes and usually makes her laugh (followed by a weak punch, if you're in). But you've got to have some connection already or it just makes you seem like an autistic asshole.

HAPPINESS: The feeling that power increases – that resistance is being overcome.
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#5

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

Wow, I feel beta when I end up sharing stuff with her, I try and avoid that as much as possible. One thing I do is to say. 'You only get one question per day.' I said it as a joke, but the first girl I said it to took it seriously and now so do I.

One day I realised she asked me two questions and I had answered both, sharing stuff about myself to her, and when I did I said shit, that's your question for tommorow gone! She begged me for another one the next day.. so I said only if you're a good girl and told her to send me a sexy photo.

So I just try and flirt and sexualise the conversation as much as possible. I also come up with cute nicknames for her, and if she does the same to me, I tell her to call me sir or something like that instead. And I tell her to do things for me, I might give her a small reward for it. If she does the same to me, I ask her to give me something first.

Sometimes they resist your frame and worry about losing control but I can counter that and turn them on more by telling them how its "my job and what they secretly desire, I know you will test me.." I don't like to do that, because its nearly giving the game away so its best to speak them at night or later in the day if possible.

I also don't bother asking her too much boring personal stuff because I don't care and I'd rather keep the conversation fun and sexy. If it's not, then you're probably talking to her too much and you need to give it a rest before you make yourself look like you're a beta loser putting her on a pedestal.

"Especially Roosh offers really good perspectives. But like MW said, at the end of the day, is he one of us?"

- Reciproke, posted on the Roosh V Forum.
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#6

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

Great advice. Clear. Well told.

[Image: potd.gif]

After she says something mundane, I will remind myself to ask her, "How did that make you feel?" with an eye smirk or lip smirk (attractive smile).

And after I tell my own story, I'll try "Tell me the last time something like that happened to you."

Midway through the (approach) or date, at some point, I find it important to bring up some topic that is flirty, sexual, or to give her a light compliment. To add an element beyond comfort in the conversation. I was wondering if OP might address this topic, or give it further crystallization in a second thread.

Quote: (07-13-2015 04:02 AM)Suits Wrote:  
If you're serious about self improvement and make real effort, this forum will always have your back.
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#7

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

Avoid yes/no questions

They are boring. Everyone knows this but they still ask them when trying to start a conversation.

Use open ended questions. We all know women love to talk, especially about themselves. Focus the open ended questions on their emotions. Then tease them or respond sexually to their answers. That will drive their emotions even more crazy. Everyone knows crazy isn't dull.
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#8

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

One of the most important things to internalize if you want to be good at talking to women is that they communicate differently than men do. As a man, your overriding purpose of communication is to exchange information. But a woman's primary goal of communication is to convey her emotions, and to receive emotional feedback from the person she's talking to. So as a basic hack, when talking to women you should always couch the conversational topic in emotional terms. This is an art and a practiced skill. It's easiest to practice over text and online so I recommend guys start there if they want to get their feet wet.

Just remember that women don't really care about what they're talking about on a factual or informational level. They just want to FEEL the conversation. They want a topic that excites them, or makes them angry, or sad, or turned on, or giggly. The worst thing you can do in conversation with a woman is not to insult her or make her mad, it's to bore her.

[size=8pt]"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”[/size] [size=7pt] - Romans 8:18[/size]
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#9

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

Some girls are naturally shy, boring, introverted &/or lack social skills or a connection with you.

Assuming this conversation is happening in person.

Escalate. Physical touch is a universal language.

If linguistically you can't crack her, then maybe with touch you'll be able to garner some momentum.

The only barrier is your comfort. Most guys feel awkward touching without pre-empt. Fuck that, man up, make it as coincidental as possible but get physical with her.

Then you'll know for real what's up...
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#10

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

Tell them, "let's play a game. Tell me two truths and one lie."

Even if they suck at the game, it's a good opportunity to humble brag about your past achievements and impressive sexual exploits.

I'm the King of Beijing!
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#11

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

@ Suits

I tried that game once...

Girl started of by saying: OK the 2 truths are blah, blah, blah & I can't think of a lie right now..."

:-(
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#12

Fixing Dull Conversations with Girls

Quote: (01-27-2016 07:10 AM)1026 Wrote:  

@ Suits

I tried that game once...

Girl started of by saying: OK the 2 truths are blah, blah, blah & I can't think of a lie right now..."

:-(

Yes, that happens.

That's when you turn it around and drop your own impressive truths and lies. That will get the conversation rolling.

I'm the King of Beijing!
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