[Iceman]

Hi Guys,

I have a dilemma.

Let’s say you met a girl – young (just turned 23), slim, petite, intelligent (university scholarship & now starting out as a banker), earns quite well, sweet natured from a nice, affluent family – who I get along with great. Let’s say she’s also quite conservative and this is her first relationship.

All this is important to me because now almost 30 – I would like to settle down with a nice chick, and I want someone who can hold her own financially. Also it is great to have someone who is intellectually smart and interested in things I like and whose idea of fun does not involve getting trashed on Friday.

Now all this sounds good but my dilemma is – and I feel bad about saying this cause she’s a kind person – while pleasant looking, smart - she is a 5.5-6 – she is not beautiful.

Now while I am no player, I am an above average looking, fit 29 yr old – and the 3 gf’s I’ve had have all been pretty good looking, I want someone I am proud of - which is important to me – though none of them were LTR material. If I continue seeing this girl – it would be to settle down. If I do call it quits – I doubt it I’ll meet someone who I would consider LTR for a long time or until I get really desperate. The women I meet through work or friends are washed out early 30’s women past their prime who have been around – not my kinda LTR women – I’m a conservative kinda guy.

But will I end up regretting it, cheating in the future with better looking women - and causing grief to her, me and both our families? Any old timers here who may have some advice?

Cheers

[Badstuber]

It's not always the looks.
Settling with a 6 with a great personality is better than a 8 with a shitty attitude for the long run.

[Duke Castile]

Sounds like you already know what's going to happen if you settle down with her. If you settle down with someone before you're ready, you're going to wind up resenting her for not being what you want. Its not fair to her and its not fair to you. Date her for another 6 mos and if you don't feel any different be a man and let her go.

[Lumiere]

(12-21-2010 08:43 AM)Iceman Wrote:  

Let’s say you met a girl – young (just turned 23).

Let’s say she’s also quite conservative and this is her first relationship.

I would start by realising that these two statements together dont make any sense.

[FretDancer]

Agree with Fisto, plus I'm sure there are more beautiful/pretty women out there who have good personality. Good looking not always means "bitch". I'd think it over carefuly if I were you.

[Dash Global]

i would only consider dating her if she had a AWESOME personality and we got along GREAT. if not i would end it and continue looking.

[young_money]

(12-21-2010 08:43 AM)Iceman Wrote:  

The women I meet through work or friends are washed out early 30’s women past their prime who have been around...

Are you honestly ready to settle down, or are you just disillusioned by the amount of washed out skanks you've been encountering and therefore ready to compromise?

Settling down with a women below your standards is not going to solve the problem. She is not going to get any better looking, and you aren't going to be any happier with life. No redeeming quality about her is going to change that. It only adds to anxiety that you are potentially taking away her prime years, knowing that you aren't all that attracted to her (which is extremely important).

If you really are ready to settle down, then you need to be honest with yourself about how hard you are willing to work to get what you want. Relying on friends, family, work, etc to meet women is a good way to be disappointed. There are plenty of 7's and 8's that aren't party girls or sluts. You just have to put the work into finding them. Find a friend that is tired of the same nightclub bs and start checking out new venues. Bounce ideas off each other and more than anything, build your network of contacts. The more people you know, the more events/parties/socials/whatever you will be invited to, and the more quality women you will meet. You could also consider relocating to a city with more options. Overall, the goal is to improve your life to a point where women are not the primary focus. Focus more on building abundance and then you will be surprised by how many options you have.

Just my opinion.

[hydrogonian]

All good and valid points of view.

I would add that finding a really good woman is tougher than it seems. If she is, and you love her, there is something to be said for having enough character to look past her looks. I have a friend who did just that. He had no problem pulling tens for the most part, but married a woman like the one you describe. She was just too unique and good hearted to pass up. Personally, I'd be more caught up on physique than face, when it comes to marriage. To get it all is great, but the total package is hard to find. Sacrificing character for looks, if you never find the total package, is not a smart move.

Oh, and unless a guy has a really good eye for great genetics, then its likely that most women that he finds hot when they(the women) are young are going to turn into cows anyway. Its amazing what most men think is an 8-10 when a woman is young and some makeup and slut gear is applied.

[oldnemesis]

(12-21-2010 08:43 AM)Iceman Wrote:  

Now all this sounds good but my dilemma is – and I feel bad about saying this cause she’s a kind person – while pleasant looking, smart - she is a 5.5-6 – she is not beautiful.

Looks are not important in any long-term relationship. You'll get used to it in 3-6 months, and after that looks alone won't get you excited anymore. Check the news, a lot of those high-profile guys who married models still cheat on them - and not always with other models.

My concern, however, would be more of your age difference. She is 23, so she is probably still into exploring, partying and going out with friends. Are you ok with that? Even if she tells you she wants to settle down, she may get bored of "settled down" lifestyle quickly. You must be open about it, and discuss it before getting into any kind of commitment. However do it correctly, it shouldn't be a guilt trip. Show her you're an open-minded guy, who understands she may have some needs, and you need to figure out whether it would be possible to satisfy her needs without sacrificing your relationship.

Quote:

But will I end up regretting it, cheating in the future with better looking women - and causing grief to her, me and both our families? Any old timers here who may have some advice?

This is another thing to discuss. You may want to talk about a possibility to opening up your relationship eventually - after 2-3 years of stable LTR, when you're sure you are into each other, and would like some variety to spice things up. It is important to ensure that your fucking around contributes to your relationship, not damages it. And it is possible.

[CJ]

If you're already questioning whether her looks are good enough for you or not, there's no way you'll be in it for the long haul. Those thoughts will never dissipate in time, no matter what you may think now. I never date a girl long term that I'm not sexually attracted to, there's just no point.

[kimleebj]

(02-15-2010 06:01 PM)Iceman Wrote:  

1.is 27 too late to learn the game?
2.I have the option of getting married to a quality chick in my original country.

(06-05-2010 08:41 PM)Iceman Wrote:  

I met a pretty attractive chick a few weeks back

(12-21-2010 08:43 AM)Iceman Wrote:  

Now while I am ... 29 yr old

You can't decide whether you are 27 or 29, and whether to have an arranged marriage or meet new women. You need some serious dating and relationship experience before even considering marriage!

This is not an insult. Heck, you have a cultural excuse for shyness or social difficulty. But you do not yet know what you want or how to get it. You are doing the right thing focusing on this, but your current goal should be to gain experience and self-knowledge by dating a lot. Besides, thinking of women as marriage candidates puts too much irrelevant pressure on getting to know her.

[Iceman]

Lots of good different viewpoints – which is what I was looking for. Thanks all for the replies.

kimleebj: Let me clarify – I’ll be 29 soon. In the thread where I said I was 27 – that was almost a year back – c’mon give me a little leeway man.

Not really the shy type or socially awkward either. Just the usual normal arrogant sometimes guy. And though apparently my post may suggest otherwise - I have even managed to get some on the way!

But think about it – and this is true for a lot of men - not everyone wants to be a master PUA. I am sure there are lots of men like me who have other interests, feel satisfied and happy with other parts of our lives, have travelled and don’t want to revolve our lives around trying to pick up women – ( this is no offence to anyone here, I wish I had the same drive & dedications as some of the guys here – and I am trying to benefit from all that experience) – just no longer as horny as I used to be at 16-24 and some of us eventually would actually be happy with one long term relationship – and have a family. I know it sounds very beta on this forum – but what’s wrong with that?

I liked the replies here – young_money and hydrogonian especially – great to get another perspective – and also good examples of how they didn’t jump to the conclusion that the post was a sign of social inability.

Not having a go at you - clarifying.

Peace

[Dash Global]

you know i will be faced with the same dilemma you have in about 5-6 yrs. Ill be approaching 30 and I would like to have a kid or two by 35 being the latest. So that means ill need to be married by around 30 also! This is rather stressfull because I enjoy my freedom and being able to go and do anything i want, but at the same time i want a family and dont want to be an OLD grandpa dad to my kids!

hurts my head just thinking about it!

[kimleebj]

(12-23-2010 11:03 PM)Dash Global Wrote:  

I would like to have a kid or two by 35 being the latest. So that means ill need to be married by around 30 also ... and dont want to be an OLD grandpa dad to my kids!

(12-23-2010 10:35 PM)Iceman Wrote:  

what’s wrong with that?

You can't plan life ten or twenty years ahead. Most marriages end in divorce. So you might marry at 30, and again at 40, and again at 50. And it's not necessarily a bad thing as your life evolves.

I reject the idea that 50, or 60, or 70 is "old". I have friends in their 60's and 70's who are active, with the same waist they had at 18. I was travelling with one and took his bag. Then he immediately ran to a hot 50-year-old woman to carry her bag. You young punks have no concept of a master-PUA with 70 years of experience!

Kids are overrated, you can have kids at any age, or can adopt. This baby fever will "hurt your head"; it is not a good mental frame. Besides, many women are desperate to have kids at age 30.

[Dash Global]

(12-24-2010 09:58 AM)kimleebj Wrote:  

(12-23-2010 11:03 PM)Dash Global Wrote:  

I would like to have a kid or two by 35 being the latest. So that means ill need to be married by around 30 also ... and dont want to be an OLD grandpa dad to my kids!

(12-23-2010 10:35 PM)Iceman Wrote:  

what’s wrong with that?

You can't plan life ten or twenty years ahead. Most marriages end in divorce. So you might marry at 30, and again at 40, and again at 50. And it's not necessarily a bad thing as your life evolves.

I reject the idea that 50, or 60, or 70 is "old". I have friends in their 60's and 70's who are active, with the same waist they had at 18. I was travelling with one and took his bag. Then he immediately ran to a hot 50-year-old woman to carry her bag. You young punks have no concept of a master-PUA with 70 years of experience!

Kids are overrated, you can have kids at any age, or can adopt. This baby fever will "hurt your head"; it is not a good mental frame. Besides, many women are desperate to have kids at age 30.

You can plan it, u just got to realize that everything doesnt go according to plan. In that case have backup plans and just adapt.

Picking who u marry has a HUGE impact on whether or not u will get divorced. The smarter you are at picking the right qualities the less likely ur marriage will end in divorce.

age 60, you are OFFICIALLY OLD. You will not have a good physique, will not be able to game 20 - 40 yr old women. Hell im not even sure if a males dick works at age 60 or 70. You will not be able to play a real game of basketball, football ect. so yes 60 is def old. women in ur age range are not fuckable ie 60. u might could get lucky and strike gold with a decent looking in shape 50 yr old.

sure u can have kids at any age if you dont wanna play sports with them, see them get married and have kids, ect. if you want to do all those things then there is a time table one must work with.

adoption is an option but it is expensive and the kid isnt even ur blood. but at age 40 with no wife its the only viable option lol.

[kimleebj]

(12-24-2010 04:20 PM)Dash Global Wrote:  

age 60, ...
You will not have a good physique,
will not be able to game 20 - 40 yr old women.
Hell im not even sure if a males dick works at age 60 or 70.
You will not be able to play a real game of basketball, football ect.

adoption ... at age 40 with no wife its the only viable option lol.

I'm going to send my 70-year-old friends to kick your ass and steal your girlfriends. And some of them can do it! :-)
Clarence can kick your ass.

Americans are obese circus freaks. You do not find this in other countries. In many other cultures the 50-year-old men are just as fit and lean as the 20-year-olds. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are nearly 50. Arnold Schwartzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in their mid-60's. At age 75, Tony Randall married a 25-year-old woman and had two kids! At age 89, J. Howard Marshall married 26-year-old Anna Nicole Smith. A large marital age difference is more acceptable in other cultures.

How often do you play "real" football? Pro or Division I?

[Dash Global]

as i said u can game younger women in ur 50's, but once you hit 60 you will be VISIBLY OLD. there might be an exception here and this is the case for most men and women.

sure if you super rich or famous u can pull hot ass until u die but this isnt the case for most of us.

only hot ass ur getting at age 60+ will be from hookers and P4P. no hot 25 or 30 yr old women is sleeping with a dude that is 65 yrs old, unless like i said she is a hooker or something.

[Badstuber]

Quote:

In many other cultures the 50-year-old men are just as fit and lean as the 20-year-olds. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are nearly 50. Arnold Schwartzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in their mid-60's. At age 75, Tony Randall married a 25-year-old woman and had two kids! At age 89, J. Howard Marshall married 26-year-old Anna Nicole Smith. A large marital age difference is more acceptable in other cultures.

And Hugh Heffner married a 61 year younger bitch today

[Dash Global]

(12-26-2010 12:59 PM)Badstuber Wrote:  

Quote:

In many other cultures the 50-year-old men are just as fit and lean as the 20-year-olds. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are nearly 50. Arnold Schwartzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in their mid-60's. At age 75, Tony Randall married a 25-year-old woman and had two kids! At age 89, J. Howard Marshall married 26-year-old Anna Nicole Smith. A large marital age difference is more acceptable in other cultures.

And Hugh Heffner married a 61 year younger bitch today

im suprised his dick hasnt feel off yet or died due to a heartattack from fucking these 10's at age 80+ lol

[Badstuber]

(12-26-2010 01:57 PM)Dash Global Wrote:  

(12-26-2010 12:59 PM)Badstuber Wrote:  

Quote:

In many other cultures the 50-year-old men are just as fit and lean as the 20-year-olds. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are nearly 50. Arnold Schwartzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in their mid-60's. At age 75, Tony Randall married a 25-year-old woman and had two kids! At age 89, J. Howard Marshall married 26-year-old Anna Nicole Smith. A large marital age difference is more acceptable in other cultures.

And Hugh Heffner married a 61 year younger bitch today

im suprised his dick hasnt feel off yet or died due to a heartattack from fucking these 10's at age 80+ lol

lol yeah

[Rocco81]

Arnold and Sly are on the juice. Brad Pitt and George are just studs what can you say.

I do agree though that with times changing you can def be functional and still having a healthy sex life at 60 - 70. With the knowledge of exercise and better diet we have now, not to mention viagra and other things to assist ...ther is no reason why you cannot have a successful sex life.

(12-25-2010 11:53 AM)kimleebj Wrote:  

(12-24-2010 04:20 PM)Dash Global Wrote:  

age 60, ...
You will not have a good physique,
will not be able to game 20 - 40 yr old women.
Hell im not even sure if a males dick works at age 60 or 70.
You will not be able to play a real game of basketball, football ect.

adoption ... at age 40 with no wife its the only viable option lol.

I'm going to send my 70-year-old friends to kick your ass and steal your girlfriends. And some of them can do it! :-)
Clarence can kick your ass.

Americans are obese circus freaks. You do not find this in other countries. In many other cultures the 50-year-old men are just as fit and lean as the 20-year-olds. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are nearly 50. Arnold Schwartzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in their mid-60's. At age 75, Tony Randall married a 25-year-old woman and had two kids! At age 89, J. Howard Marshall married 26-year-old Anna Nicole Smith. A large marital age difference is more acceptable in other cultures.

How often do you play "real" football? Pro or Division I?