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Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?
#1

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Hey I was curious. Is it 100% in field that yall go out to meet girls or does anyone use any online dating websites? Care to share any opinions on them?
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#2

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

I'm sure some people here do use online dating websites even when they approach day/night. I'd really like to try it sometime, but I think it is sort of "frowned upon" in this society of mine, specially when you are in the 17-25 range (could go even higher I think...).
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#3

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

If you have good stats like good looking photos, tall, good body type, high income, impressive profession, and actually know how to write an alluring profile, it can be a goldmine. If you are an "average Joe" might not be worth it.
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#4

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

God, when myspace first came out, I made a KILLIN! Those days are gone forever though haha.
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#5

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-19-2010 11:48 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

God, when myspace first came out, I made a KILLIN! Those days are gone forever though haha.

I met a girlfriend off myspace randomly. She just hit me up because she found something interesting I said on my profile. Yeah right around 2004 was a good time to hit up girls on there.
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#6

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Don't waste your time. Those sites are cock fests and even the fat slob AW think they are superstars. The deck is stacked against you.
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#7

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-19-2010 11:48 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

God, when myspace first came out, I made a KILLIN! Those days are gone forever though haha.

Why? What changed?
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#8

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

If you're using the internet, you're a loser. Sad truth.

First of all, if a girl is attractive and down-to-earth, she has no problems meeting guys. In general. There will be exceptions. A super-charged 10 who can't find Mr. Right. She gets about 1000 emails a day, so after a few weeks, she gives up. Or she decides she likes the attention and sticks around.

Therefore, the internet hosts a disproportionate number of fuglies.

In other words, if you are on the internet, the probability the girl is attractive, cool, down-to-earth and fun to be with becomes really, really small. The probability that you have a chance is even worse, since there are millions of beta men on there copy-pasting the same message to 100 different women every day, lowering their standards every week because he never gets a response.
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#9

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-22-2010 08:17 AM)Invictus Wrote:  

If you're using the internet, you're a loser.

Bad attitude - isn't this forum part of the internet? People have different needs, and the internet requires different skills and strategy.
If you are 22 and attracted to any pretty woman, then in-person makes sense.

But if you have more specific needs (religion, kids, etc.) then the internet can make sense. On the internet you need a good photo and the ability to spell and punctuate. You probably need to send zillions of messages, but at least all the women are single and available (no boyfriends or cockblockers). So while you spend all evening to meet ten women at a bar, some other guy can message scores of them.
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#10

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Kimlebj - I was being overly simplistic.

From the attractive women I've spoken to, using the internet is frowned upon, and doesn't often conform to their idea of romantic. No girl wants to tell her friends she met this dude on the internet. There will be exceptions, but generally, no. They'd much rather describe how you came up to her in the super-market, on the street, or at a bar. The internet doesn't provide the scope for romantic spontaneity.

But if you are interested in specific types, I think you'd be better off determining at which venues your kinda of girl congregates, then go after them there.

On the internet, the odds are stacked against so highly I really don't see it paying off. Maybe for a few special cases, but using the internet is no replacement for good day/night-game.

PS. I am simply offering this perspective based on a couple hundred hours of limited success on the internet. Have banged 4-5 girls from the internet, and only ever had a date with 2-3 very attractive girls. The rest only looked good on pics, much worse in real life. The bangs were after I had gotten myself drunk, first. I'd rather just grab my balls and day-game. At least then you know if she's attractive, and more importantly, if you two have some chemistry.
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#11

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

I think that using the internet to scout out prospects is ok. Esp if you are traveling abroad.

But I do agree that its always better to be out face to face landing digits and talking to girls. You def don't want to be that guy sitting at home lurking around dating sites and only chatting.
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#12

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-22-2010 08:17 AM)Invictus Wrote:  

Therefore, the internet hosts a disproportionate number of fuglies.

In other words, if you are on the internet, the probability the girl is attractive, cool, down-to-earth and fun to be with becomes really, really small. The probability that you have a chance is even worse, since there are millions of beta men on there copy-pasting the same message to 100 different women every day, lowering their standards every week because he never gets a response.

I think this is overly pessimistic. I haven't done the online thing in quite some time, but I would say quality of girls on a pay site like match.com pretty much follows the attractiveness curve of girls in real life. That is, you will see most women in the average range with the number at the extremes gradually tapering off. Internet is okay if you're fine with 6s and 7s. Anything over an 8 is pretty rare, but some guys like me don't want anything higher than an 8 since those girls are almost guaranteed to be high maintenance. My ideal is an 8 with a dope personality.

Not all women on dating sites are messed up. Some just have a limited social network, maybe just moved to town, or don't like the kinds of guys they run into at bars and clubs. The one good thing you can say is that the women online ARE serious about meeting a guy if they went through the trouble to punch in their credit card number and write a profile. Not like the flakes in the field who give out their number and don't call or text back because they're more interested in attention or dancing with their cockblocking friends than actually meeting a guy. Biggest problem of course is that the ratio of men to women is about 3 or 4 to 1. But that's probably not as bad as it sounds given that half those guys are sending messages like "Hey whuddup sexy, lolz!"

Like I said way up above, if you're a guy with good stats, good photos and can write an intriguing profile and you're cool with 6s, 7s and maybe the occasional 8, the online thing can work for you.
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#13

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-22-2010 08:17 AM)Invictus Wrote:  

First of all, if a girl is attractive and down-to-earth, she has no problems meeting guys.

This may be a true statement for a 25yo living in her hometown, but may not be true for a 30yo who just moved around the country. It might not be true for a single mom whose financial situation is not that great so she cannot go out. It might not be true for some nerdy girls who prefer computer screen to real interaction. It might be not true for a shy (but attractive) girl who prefer to spend evenings playing WoW instead of drinking overpriced alcohol in crowded bars.

Like it or not, the world is moving into online world more and more. This includes online communications.

Quote:Quote:

In other words, if you are on the internet, the probability the girl is attractive, cool, down-to-earth and fun to be with becomes really, really small.

Well, if you're in a bar or in a club, what is the probability? I'd guess really small.

But if you just want to get laid, why would you care if she's cool, down-to-earth and fun? This all is not important for one night stands.

Quote:Quote:

The probability that you have a chance is even worse, since there are millions of beta men on there copy-pasting the same message to 100 different women every day, lowering their standards every week because he never gets a response.

There are different ways to run online game. The one you suggested is similar to getting into a bar and hitting on every girl in a row. Which may, or may not work depending on a guy and venue, but it is obviously not the only game.
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#14

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Well, I am only basing this on my own experience, and the websites I have had access to where I live.

The US might be a different matter.

But as a 24yo male, I would have to say hitting the bars offers better returns. The primary website I know of offers 500,000 profiles (out of a population of approx 5.5 million), and perhaps 150-200,000 of those are females, most of them divorcees or single-moms who don't have time to go out. A large number of those profiles haven't been used in ages. Many do not have pictures. When I narrow down according to geography, ie. within 30 minutes traveling time (I live in the most populous region of the country), I'd say approx 800 individual profiles with pics if I go 18-26, of which less than half have an acceptable BMI. Of those, 90 percent are ugly. At most 30 profiles of attractive girls.

I have over time figured out how to write a compelling profile combined with a standard intro that really conveys the qualities I want to convey to a girl. I'd say around half reply positively. Of those, about half are flakes.

I meet the other half. Only half look good in real life, and the meet would go well - I would try and go for the bang in each instance (I'd gotten that far) and looking back, of the girls I met that I REALLY wanted to bang, I probably got half. Bearing in mind they were already warmed up from the internet correspondence - all I had to do was not be an idiot. Sometimes I messed that up, too. But it came down to about 4-5 bangs for several hundred hours effort.

I know Quasi claims to run some good Facebook game, and everybody has Facebook here, so that might make more sense to use that. I should go to him for counseling.

As for me, I'm just going to work harder on improving day/night-game, because most young people still hit the party scene when they want to meet peeps. I really like the approach 2 woman a day. If anything else, that will get your in the right mindset for seizing the opportunities that come your way. For this thread, just offering my two cents. Bear in mind I'm still a young buck.
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#15

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

What about those sites like adult friend finder? Or other sites oriented toward casual hookups rather than relationships. I've never looked into that. Any experience?
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#16

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Nope, game irl.
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#17

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-19-2010 11:48 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

God, when myspace first came out, I made a KILLIN! Those days are gone forever though haha.

True statement right there...but myspace wasn't even the first. Me and one of my boys got introduced to a site way back when I was just out of high school called FlyGuyCrew.com....that changed everything. We got with tons of girls from the NYC and NJ area. Then came TheDilly.com which was kind of the new site (kind of like how FB took over Myspace). Then Myspace came, now Facebook.

Facebook ruined everything IMO...not just for meeting girls but all those other sites were almost 100% young ppl, now every single person, mother, father, cousin, dog, work, coffee shop is all up in there.
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#18

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-23-2010 09:08 AM)Neo Wrote:  

First, yes the girls are getting bombarded with a million messages from a lot of horny guys.

But they read ALL of them. You can actually analyze your "click rate" by providing a link to your profile hosted on your web server (mention it has your recent cool pictures), and add the "cp=49eefd93850" to the URL, with its value being an MD5 hash of the e-mail address. Last time I did it out of curiosity, I didn't even have a single picture nor profile on that page, and the page hit rate was around 75% which is damn high.

Quote:Quote:

For example, if a girl is on match.com she thinks she wants a relationship.

Or she may think a typical American holier-than-thou "I'm not a slut to post on adultfinder". Again, it doesn't matter.

Quote:Quote:

You can get at least one date a week off of there, no joke. It takes some some effort, but I've done it for like 3 months stretches, that's around 4 new chicks a month. Add your day game and going out at night and it can be a major factor. Are they going to be super models? of course not.

Another "pros" point, which is important for those of us who are software developers, is that you have a significant advantage over a lot of other guys. You can write a script which checks all the profiles on every social network site around every minute and tell you right away who's online, changed profile or posted announcement. You can check new ads on Craigslist and reply on them as soon as they pop up, at the same time partying somewhere with friends. You can send the same message to 1,000 people easily. For the rest of the world online game is numbers game, which turns them into a copypaste monkey; for you it is a programming exercise to create a script, which will do all the job and which you will complete in couple of evenings. Could you automate your bar game? No fucking way. Your online game? Easily.

To give you an idea, sometime I am looking for part-time programming jobs on Craigslist. I have a script which checks job postings in all cities and states in the US for a specific keywords and options once a day, and sends me the summary of what it found. It took me less than 30 minutes to write it, and I've spent probably an hour in 2010 tweaking it when Craiglslist changed its page structure.

Quote:Quote:

Now the cons. The girls are sluttier plain and simple, mainly because they are getting hit up by every dude and most women lack self control not to fuck them. Once you meet her in her late 20s, you can be sure she has at least 25 dates of experience and been pumped and dumped several times.

How could a sluttier girl be a cons? It is clearly a pros.

BTW, any guys using the automation here? I'm about to start a research project related to gaming on social networking web sites, where I might need to tap into your experience in some specific areas. Hit me in PM if you are.
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#19

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-23-2010 09:51 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

Quote: (12-23-2010 09:08 AM)Neo Wrote:  

First, yes the girls are getting bombarded with a million messages from a lot of horny guys.

But they read ALL of them. You can actually analyze your "click rate" by providing a link to your profile hosted on your web server (mention it has your recent cool pictures), and add the "cp=49eefd93850" to the URL, with its value being an MD5 hash of the e-mail address. Last time I did it out of curiosity, I didn't even have a single picture nor profile on that page, and the page hit rate was around 75% which is damn high.

Quote:Quote:

For example, if a girl is on match.com she thinks she wants a relationship.

Or she may think a typical American holier-than-thou "I'm not a slut to post on adultfinder". Again, it doesn't matter.

Quote:Quote:

You can get at least one date a week off of there, no joke. It takes some some effort, but I've done it for like 3 months stretches, that's around 4 new chicks a month. Add your day game and going out at night and it can be a major factor. Are they going to be super models? of course not.

Another "pros" point, which is important for those of us who are software developers, is that you have a significant advantage over a lot of other guys. You can write a script which checks all the profiles on every social network site around every minute and tell you right away who's online, changed profile or posted announcement. You can check new ads on Craigslist and reply on them as soon as they pop up, at the same time partying somewhere with friends. You can send the same message to 1,000 people easily. For the rest of the world online game is numbers game, which turns them into a copypaste monkey; for you it is a programming exercise to create a script, which will do all the job and which you will complete in couple of evenings. Could you automate your bar game? No fucking way. Your online game? Easily.

To give you an idea, sometime I am looking for part-time programming jobs on Craigslist. I have a script which checks job postings in all cities and states in the US for a specific keywords and options once a day, and sends me the summary of what it found. It took me less than 30 minutes to write it, and I've spent probably an hour in 2010 tweaking it when Craiglslist changed its page structure.

Quote:Quote:

Now the cons. The girls are sluttier plain and simple, mainly because they are getting hit up by every dude and most women lack self control not to fuck them. Once you meet her in her late 20s, you can be sure she has at least 25 dates of experience and been pumped and dumped several times.

How could a sluttier girl be a cons? It is clearly a pros.

BTW, any guys using the automation here? I'm about to start a research project related to gaming on social networking web sites, where I might need to tap into your experience in some specific areas. Hit me in PM if you are.

I am interested in this automation process. Please pm for details on how to set this up.

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#20

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-23-2010 10:45 PM)Moma Wrote:  

I am interested in this automation process. Please pm for details on how to set this up.

This is easy, but there are some prerequisites:

- Do you know a programming language? Something like Perl would be perfect, as there is a lot of text processing involved and Perl makes it extremely simple. I use Perl.
- Do you have any experience developing web crawlers, can you write a script which does simple google search or logs you into gmail?

Those are prerequisites which you must have before even looking on automation. Sure you can use scripts someone else developed (if they share it; I never shared mine), but the problem is that if they share it with you, they'll share it with everyone. And very soon they all will be blocked as those sites typically make money on ads, and scripts do not watch ads.
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#21

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-24-2010 04:29 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

Quote: (12-23-2010 10:45 PM)Moma Wrote:  

I am interested in this automation process. Please pm for details on how to set this up.

This is easy, but there are some prerequisites:

- Do you know a programming language? Something like Perl would be perfect, as there is a lot of text processing involved and Perl makes it extremely simple. I use Perl.
- Do you have any experience developing web crawlers, can you write a script which does simple google search or logs you into gmail?

Those are prerequisites which you must have before even looking on automation. Sure you can use scripts someone else developed (if they share it; I never shared mine), but the problem is that if they share it with you, they'll share it with everyone. And very soon they all will be blocked as those sites typically make money on ads, and scripts do not watch ads.

This would of helped me out when I was on online dating websites several months ago. I sent out messages to 600 girls. It took several hours out of my day for a couple of weeks(Tweeking my profile, answering back, searching for girls, and etc). Guaranteed to get dates.
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#22

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Technology is a beautiful thing. I am very envious of young teenage 15-19 guys who came of age while the Internet was in full effect. If there were Facebook, Myspace, AIM and cheap cell phone plans while I was growing up my notch count would have been way up in the triple digits during my teenage years. Back in the 90's you could only basically Game girls who were from your high school and immediate neighborhood so it was slim pickings to say the least because hot girls were never home when you called.

But I digress, I agree with Invictus, if you looking for just a "square" mainstream American or Americanized ethic cutie then day game and night game is the way to go. If you want something outside of the norm then online is the only way to go. A good and BIG pro of online Gaming is diversity. You have a shot at swooping ethnicities of girls that you other wise would not have access to even talk to because you aren't in their social circle or neighborhood. I.e. newly arrived or bored married stay at home Latinas, Asians, EE girls. You can always use the "Let me show you around and practice English" excuse and it works like a charm. Also, if you are into fetishes online Game is the only way to find that "special" someone. There's a blog, forum, personal site to just about whatever tickles your fancy (Emo, Goths, Albinos, midgets, Furries, amputees, Ass to Mouth lovers, etc.)

Quote:Quote:

What about those sites like adult friend finder? Or other sites oriented toward casual hookups rather than relationships. I've never looked into that. Any experience?

I looked into it, they are a waste of time, alot of the profiles are fake or hookers looking for tricks. You are better off looking for freaks on mainstream sites who hide there on plain sight(Single mothers, Tattoos, smokers, "artist", girls who only have guy "friends").
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#23

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

@ Playa - can you give some of your intel on plain sight websites that you would normally check for extra freaky women?
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#24

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Quote: (12-23-2010 09:51 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

Another "pros" point, which is important for those of us who are software developers, is that you have a significant advantage over a lot of other guys. You can write a script which checks all the profiles on every social network site around every minute and tell you right away who's online, changed profile or posted announcement. You can check new ads on Craigslist and reply on them as soon as they pop up, at the same time partying somewhere with friends. You can send the same message to 1,000 people easily. For the rest of the world online game is numbers game, which turns them into a copypaste monkey; for you it is a programming exercise to create a script, which will do all the job and which you will complete in couple of evenings. Could you automate your bar game? No fucking way. Your online game? Easily.
...
BTW, any guys using the automation here? I'm about to start a research project related to gaming on social networking web sites, where I might need to tap into your experience in some specific areas. Hit me in PM if you are.

This is really interesting. I like the idea of applying my computer programming knowledge and online marketing knowledge to optimize click-through and conversion rates on a dating profile. If nothing else it would be an interesting experiment.

But if you send the same message to 1000 people aren't you just doing copy-paste on a larger scale? You would think that individualized messages would get a better response, but maybe the extra time required isn't worth a slight increase in conversion rates.

Maybe we could hire Virtual Assistants to help. Outsourcing your dating profile could be interesting.

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#25

Does anyone use match.com or their ilk to meet girls?

Yesterday I was curious and went on match and looked up guy's profiles to see how competitive it would be. I choose NYC since there's a large number of people from all walks of life. After browsing around a bit, I was struck at just how "average" the typical dude is on there. As far as just average interests, no idea of how to write a profile that conjures up any intrigue or mystery. Just kept reading lines over and over like "I work hard, and I play hard too(how original)", "I'm a nice guy that enjoys long walks on the beach, I'm still in touch with my feminine side, I want to be your everything..." Yada, yada. Most of them come off as needy or really banal. I would say less than 5% of the guys on there seem like they have any sort of game mindset whatsoever. I can see why most guys don't have much luck on these sites. They may be cockfests, but you aren't competing with much. The main bad thing is that I can see all these needy, desperate guys flooding even the most average girl with 100s of contacts a week so it might make your message harder to push through.

One other thing, on the topic of being average, that's why I've never got much into the online thing in recent years. I'm utterly bored by 99% of women's profiles. I rarely encountered a girl on there that made me say, "wow, this chic is really intriguing." It's just the same old shit over and over again, "I like Dave Matthews, I like sushi, I like long walks on the beach, I like to laugh, blah blah blah..." I'd get bored and click off within 10 minutes as I found few women on there I even wanted to write.
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