Quote: (01-29-2014 03:15 AM)KorbenDallas Wrote:
I don't Anon Bosch, your argument is sound logically, but it doesn't fit with my personal experience. I had an emotionally absent, borderline cruel, mother, and I strongly prefer nurturing, caring, young, sexy girls. I think they're are lots of factors at play, and you may be right and I might be an exception. I'm not an expert.
This is deep Freudian Psych, mate, hard to explain to beginners, so I apologise for being abstract or vague. I'm refering to obviously-odd men like Jackman, or those Feminist-Supporters, not
every man with a bad mother.
I'm talking about the men who were
psychologically-damaged by their treatment and
unhealthily-fixated on the
phantom mother figure.
Not all men will fixate. Some men will process trauma on their own, others will be traumatised but respond to therapy, leading both types to have healthy adult relationships with women capable of love. Congratulations, you have your shit together!
Also be aware there's different degrees of wounding. I was working out with the mate with the fat girlfriend I discussed earlier in the thread today, and got talking about his family. I steered it towards "Tell me about your mother..." Yeah, I'm a prick, but I was curious.
His mother was crazy. She'd abandon them for days on end, or be desperately needy, threatening to kill herself if, for example, he went to school. He came home a couple of times to find her having cutting herself for attention, or having cut her wrists. He said he spent a good amount of his teenage years in the ER.
Him having such an ugly, abrasive partner is starting to make sense, beyond simple explanations of being 'gay'. He's fucked up, and has what is known as an dismissive avoidant-attachment style. He's very reserved about friendship, making commitments to train, (can't make plans, if you're here, I'm here), and his girlfriend actually said "He's so independent I sometimes wonder if we're dating," and then his teenage son said "I never see him much." That's all textbook damage from his mother.
It's fascinating. I'll see if I can subtly steer him towards clarity if we keep spotting each other and socialising.
Women can also do this with their fathers. You've heard the old saying that a woman has married a man exactly like her dad? Most women don't have the emotional-resilience and ability to mentally detach from negative societal judgement such an admission would cause them to even
entertain this as a realistic possibility, so Feminists spin the hamster into overtime, and demonise Freud because of it. To be honest, the abstract concepts that are the core of his work are simply beyond their mental horsepower to process. The smartest women I've ever come across have been Freudian Psychs.
His theories particularly hit a nerve with Feminists because they were based on an homogenous sample group - almost all upper class women of privilege, like Feminists. As such, the theories they find personally-offensive are very accurate in explaining their behaviour, but you can see how horrified a Narcissist would be if other people thought she was in love with her father, or sexually-neurotic.