[kimleebj]

Here is a paradox. We know women like confident men in-person. But it turns out they like online men to be humble. Can anyone explain this?

OKCupidBlog
If you’re a guy, be self-effacing
Awkward, sorry, apologize, kinda, and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages. As we mentioned before, pretty, no doubt because of its adverbial meaning of “to a fair degree; moderately” also helps male messages. A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.

It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. But either way: men should be careful not to let the appearance of vulnerability become the appearance of sweaty desperation: please is on the negative list (22% reply rate), and in fact it is the only word that is actually worse for you than its netspeak equivalent (pls, 23%)!

[kerouac]

I find this to be true. Girls really appreciate humility online. Then, when you meet/meat them in person, that's when you can rev it up quite a few notches.

[Neo]

It's an issue of safety. For her to come offline and meet you, she's got to know that you are a safe in person. I've found what that article says to be true.

[kerouac]

I just adjusted my profile quite a bit to make it less aggressive, and the results are much better. It's really amazing how much science/statistics can lead to better opportunities

[Jack Frost]

I think this boils down to a somewhat lost in translation effect. Weve all had the text message or email weve sent or received that was taken out of context due to not hearing the writers inflection or delivery and I think this translates to online profiles as well. Its easy for something you mean to come off as slightly cocky for it to come off supremely arrogant so its better to scale it back a notch than what you would normally do in person.

[Rocco81]

Good post Kim

I think that online you cannot get a view of a person face to face so you are trusting their words. Most attractive girls are bombareded by men from all different ethnic, social, economic and geographic backgrounds. To every one message one of us might get on a social networking site, they are getting like 50 or more. If there are 50 guys 25 of which are not hideous or scary she must start to go by what she reads.

I think it makes sense that bieng a little more polite works online.

[Jdubz]

I wouldn't have guessed. Question is, how do you stand out if you have to act beta?

[raliv]

It is incredibly easy to be an asshole and aloof online.

Not so much in person when it takes tons of balls, confidence, and charisma.

I theorize that women are being overexposed to Tucker Maxish asshole alpha male game - online. The Internet Armchair Gamers are Alpha dogging it up online.

Being an asshole at nightclubs in college can be dangerous now too. Too much drunken courage in an environment already over-saturated in Tucker Max asshole worship. Frat boys love "being Tucker Max" at bars wasted out of their mind. Different techniques may be more effective than they used to be.

The battlefield of lurve is constantly evolving thanks to Game going mainstream.

Follow Rooshys Contrary Game. Watching what everyone else is doing and behaving in a contrary manner is the key to staying on top of the mountain.