[Kaizen]

There's gotta be a thread on this....couldn't find it in a search

every girl I date wants a relationship. How do I avoid this while still getting play??

[Biz]

after you slay, have the conversation

[speakeasy]

Don't see her more than once a week, and preferably only on weekdays. After awhile she'll get the picture.

[Sonsowey]

Be unapologetic about the fact that you're seeing other women.

[raliv]

They are trying to put in you relationship zone because you are sending mixed signals. You need to work at your bad boy image. This happened to me for a while. They see all of your good qualities that you have to offer and see provider instead of walking sausage. Be more aggressive and also willing to walk away. They will respond to what kind of person you are.

Or you could just lie and tell them you want to be in a relationship, get the bang and then dump them...

[oldnemesis]

(12-08-2010 11:02 PM)bigxxx Wrote:  

every girl I date wants a relationship. How do I avoid this while still getting play??

Say "no, I don't want a relationship"?

[Kaizen]

...in this situation yet again Tapping a girl and she likely wants to know the score

Is it better to bring up the pink elephant in the room and state my intentions (nothing serious) as Biz suggests

OR no conversation just let my actions speak for themselves?

The latter seems kind of harsh...maybe I care too much

Thoughts?

[FretDancer]

Well look at it this way,

If you do #1 she'll get the picture, but you might not tap her again, if thats cool with you go ahead.

If you go for #2 you might keep tapping her for a while, until she gets the picture and decides to be ok/not ok with it

[CJ]

This may sound crazy, but tell her "ok." Then just keep doing what you'd be doing anyway. If she finds out and breaks up with you, so what? Just lay some ground rules from the start and let her know you're a guy that needs his space, doesn't like talking on the phone and doesn't do whatever other crap you can't stand about relationships.

Let us know if you go this route though, as I'm curious to see if it is more effective than blatantly telling a girl (verbally or through action) you don't want to date her. Often girls you just say "no" to, you'll be banging on borrowed time, because they don't want their friends/family to start thinking of them as a slut.

[SFTD]

Best way to avoid a relationship... get married. After that, there is no relationship.

[Tuthmosis]

Flip the script, using the shit they use when they're resisting sex:

Say that a relationship is "a possibility," but you want "to take things slow." Add that you're picky and you've "been burned" in the past by girls that became smothering, annoying, or psycho once you got involved "more seriously," and that you're a lot more careful now. Tell her you know "she's different," but that that's the best way to ensure that you get "started on the right foot."

Girls respond to that idiotic and vague "been burned" euphemism and, once you've pounded, you can get away with burping out a little bit of fake beta-vulnerability for your long-term benefit.

This can easily push the conversation out 1-2 months. Sorry, but that's all the time I can buy you.

[Kickb]

Around last halloween, the first girl i had sex with multiple times with, popped a question that went something like this "so, what are we exactly? because i have been telling my family about you, and people are talking at school. i dont want to look like a slut."

I said something like "well what do you want us to be" and she said she wanted to be my girlfriend. i said "umm no" and she wiggled a bit, shook her head, and stuck out her hand to shake mine and said "Ok friends??" and i looked at her gave her a side high five and said "with benefits"

later that night she asked if i was ok with having sex with her while on her period. "umm no"

our relationship lasted for another month or two until i could no longer get a boner when i was with her due to a hangup

A couple days later i asked my boss at work who i was close with the same question you asked and he told me to tell her my intentions right off the bat.

[oldnemesis]

(05-12-2011 12:20 AM)bigxxx Wrote:  

Is it better to bring up the pink elephant in the room and state my intentions (nothing serious) as Biz suggests
OR no conversation just let my actions speak for themselves?
The latter seems kind of harsh...maybe I care too much

#2, no conversation about it. It is not harsh, it is real life. Do you really think she cares about what you want more than about her own interests? You shouldn't care what she wants, she'll take care of that.

Work on protecting your interests. It is always easy to stall the things for some time by saying something like "No, I am not against LTR/getting married/whatever, but those things take time to build trust and comfort. I hope you aren't kind of an unscrupulous girl who'd jump on just any guy for the same of being married/LTR/whatever"?

[Gmac]

(12-08-2010 11:02 PM)bigxxx Wrote:  

There's gotta be a thread on this....couldn't find it in a search

every girl I date wants a relationship. How do I avoid this while still getting play??

Tell her you want to see her but nothing serious. If she likes you enough she'll stick around. Or you can always just lie.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I love the "walking sausage" term

Don't meet with her too often, and be upfront about the fact that you might be seeing other girls or that "you don't want to commit/tie yourself down at the moment because you've just come out of a long relationship and want freedom." Girls do it all the time, and so can you.
Despite this, if she clearly wanted a relationship, I wouldn't play her even with these lines. If she was playing games, on the other hand...

[manilaguy]

don't say "take things slow" it signals that you are willing to get into a relationship.

[Tuthmosis]

(05-13-2011 07:03 PM)manilaguy Wrote:  

don't say "take things slow" it signals that you are willing to get into a relationship.

I don't have a problem dangling an unattainable carrot. That way, she feels the satisfaction of having something of genuine value to strive for. Usually, it's only us men that have to struggle for things, while cute chicks get everything handed to them just by asking.

I'm doing her a favor, in the long run.

[Samseau]

telling a girl you want to take things slow before you bang her is a bad idea

[Tuthmosis]

(05-15-2011 06:12 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

telling a girl you want to take things slow before you bang her is a bad idea

Of course. But I think the presumption here is that the girl starts to ask for a relationship after you've banged for a while and seen her many times.

That's a good time to whip out that tool.